Every year at THEGAYUK we list the films and stars that should win the Oscar picked from films that people have actually seen as opposed to over rated critics favourites that couldn’t sell a tub of popcorn in a million years.

CREDIT: DWilliams / CC / Pixabay

None of the top twenty most viewed films of the last year are up for any of the important Oscars which shows the disconnect from what the chattering coffee swilling elite of Soho want you to see – usually involving an ex-war refugee with family issues and a terminal illness as opposed to the latest Star Wars, Pixar or Superhero which actually put bums on seats and made it way beyond a single art house screen in a leafy part of West London.

Has anyone actually seen Moonlight, Hidden Figures, Loving or Fences anyway and if you have, tune in on Feb 26th to see the results from The Kodak Theatre with the ever decreasing viewing figures the show now attracts.

If you are a movie fan read on and see what the Oscars should be like if they gave statuettes to people and films folks have heard off.

BEST PICTURE – Should Win: Hacksaw RidgeWill Win: La La Land (The most predicatble in years watch those viewing figures plummet)

BEST ACTOR – Should Win: Channing Tatum’s 12 incher in Vacation or Andrew Garfield/Hacksaw RidgeWill Win: Casey Affleck/Manchester By The Sea (Total yawnfest).

BEST ACTRESS – Should Win: Amy Adams/ArrivalWill Win: Natalie Portman/Jackie (Pure boring Oscar bate, not made to entertain but just collect gongs)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR – Should Win: Chris Pratt’s naked ass in Passengers or John Goodman/10 Cloverfield LaneWill Win: Mahershala Ali/Moonlight.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS – Should Win: Nicole Kidman/Lion Will Win:Viola Davis/Fences.

ANIMATION – Should Win: Sam Worthington’s acting or The Secret Life of PetsZootopia Will Win: (Because it’s about serious issues!)

Best Foreigh Language Film – No such thing!

Costume Design – Should Win: Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find ThemWill Win: Jackie (1963 is so hard to do!)

Directing – Should Win: Damien Chazelle/La La Land… agreed!

Editing – Should Win: Hacksaw Ridge…..Will Win: La La Land (Long tracking shots are hardly editing but it was shot in the Hollywood Hills so…)

Make Up & Hair styling – Should Win: Suicide SquadWill Win: Harley Quinn and her mates, yippee a Superhero Oscar.

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Music – Should Win: Eddie The Eagle (Pure 80’s Pop)… Will Win: La La Land (Because it is so full of hit songs… not!)

Original Song – Should Win: Can’t Stop The Feeling/Justin Trousersnake from TrollsWill Win: City of bloody Stars (that will get you dancing if you don’t have a pulse)

Sound Mixing – Should Win: Rogue One : A Star Wars StoryWill Win: La La Land as the voters don’t really know what Sound Mixing is but it’s a musical so it must have some, right?

Visual Effects –Should Win:  Brexit or Doctor StrangeWill Win: The Jungle Book (We won’t complain either way on these two)

Adapted Screenplay – Should Win: ArrivalWill Win: Moonlight (God help us – we give up!)

Original Screenplay – Should Win: DeadpoolWill Win: La La Land (you bored yet?)

The Gay Oscar Film of the Year – Absolutely Fabulous a real crowd pleaser.

Stunt of the year – Climbing into the Elephant’s asshole in Grimsby. Sascha Baron Cohen has the laugh out loud scene of the Year.

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Hunk Of The Year – Zac Efron for his eight pack in Bad Neighbours 2 – We are counting down the days to those beach scenes in Baywatch.

Lifetime Gay UK Achievement Award – Jason Statham with The Mechanic: Resurrection making 29 films in a row where his shirt falls off showing his hairy chest and muscles.

Obituary of the Year – Martin Scorsese for Silence what on earth were you thinking man; with runner’s up the Ghostbusters franchise, anything with Daniel Radcliffe in and anyone who stayed awake all the way through The Revenant.


Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

About the author: Paul Stag
Estbablished gay writer for a well known monthly magazine Dirty Boyz part of Boyz magazine with about 30 pages published each time. Mainly adult entertainment, fetish, travel, events, film reviews. Also pop culture from movies/TV and music.

Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.