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  • FILM REVIEW | Elephant Song

    ★★★★ | Elephant Song

    At only 26 years old, French-Canadian Xavier Dolan already has five films under his directorial belt, all of which have been well received and critically acclaimed. In addition, he’s acted in 12 films, including the just released Elephant Song.

    In 2009, Dolan directed, produced, starred and wrote J’ai Tué Ma Mére (I Killed My Mother), a semi-autobiographical story about him as a young gay man at odds with his mother, and wrote the script when he was at the tender age of 17. It won 3 awards at the Cannes Film Festival. The next year he wrote, directed, produced and starred (again) in Les Amours Imaginaires (Heartbeats), a story about three close friends who are involved in a love triangle. In 2012 Dolan continued his string of emotional and heartfelt films by writing and directing Laurence Anyways. At 168 minutes, it was an ambitious project for the young director to do, it was about the struggle of a straight man who, over the course of ten years, transitions from male to female, and how it affects the relationship with his lover (with amazing performances by Melvil Poupajd and Suzanne Clément). Laurence Anyways won many awards, including two Cannes Film Festival Awards (the Queer Palm Award and Best Actress for Clément). Lawrence Anyways was also nominated for ten Canadian Screen Awards (winning two), and more importantly, at the Toronto International Film Festival, it won Best Canadian Feature film. Not bad for a local boy.

    2013 is when Dolan wore multiple hats in a film. In Tom á la Ferme (Tom at the Farm), Dolan, who wrote, produced, directed and starred, plays Tom, a young man who works in an advertising agency and travels to the Canadian countryside for the funeral of his 25-year-old boyfriend. The problem is that the grieving mother did not know that her son was gay, so she accepts Tom as his friend in the hopes that he can tell her all about her dead son’s life. Meanwhile, the deceased’s brother, 30-year-old Francis (an amazing Pierre-Yves Cardinal), knew that his brother gay but could never really accept it. Conflict, anguish, thought provoking moments, anger, love, and acceptance follow. More acclaim followed Dolan when Mommy was released in 2015. It stars French Canadian actress Anne Dorval who is a widowed mother overwhelmed by her teenage son (Antoine Olivier Pilon – a relevation) and his attention deficit disorder. Dolan wrote, produced and directed Mommy, and it won the Jury Prize at the Cannes Film Festival and won nine Canadian Screen Awards, including Best Motion Picture.

    In the newly released Elephant Song, Dolan, who co-stars along with Bruce Greenwood and Catherine Keneer, plays Michael, a psychologically unwell young man in a mental institution who may or may not have had something to do with the disappearance of his psychiatrist. So it’s up to Greenwood’s Dr. Greene to interview Michael to try to get to the bottom of his colleague’s disappearance. During the interrogation, Michael plays mind games with Dr. Greene, alluding to the fact that he knows where his psychiatrist is but is not quite yet ready to tell. Michael is clearly a very disturbed young man, his very famous opera singer mother all but ignored him, and the one time he spent with his father was when he took him elephant hunting, with the boy Michael crying over his father’s killing of an elephant. And Michael alludes to a sexual relationship that he is having with his psychiatrist, so it’s up to Dr. Greene to take what Michael is saying with a grain of salt. Even the head nurse, Susan Peterson (Keneer), warns Dr. Greene to keep his distance from Michael. It’s a film that at its centrepiece is Dolan, who is perfect as Michael, very good looking yet very mischevious, you don’t know whether you want to hug him or to run away from him. And the film revisits the themes of homosexuality and the lack of acceptance so common in Dolan’s films.

    What’s next for Dolan besides conquering the world? He just finished shooting ‘It’s Only the End of the World,’ about a young man who returns home after 12 years to announce his impending death to his family. It stars Marion Cotillard and Vincent Cassel. Dolan will also be shooting his first film in the United States, to be titled The Death and Life of John F. Donovan, in 2016. It’s a fictional story about an actor who is famous for playing a Marvel-style superhero whose life and career are turned upside-down when his private correspondence with an 11-year-old fan is exposed and made to look indecent by a villainous gossip columnist. This one stars Hollywood heavyweights Kit Harrington, Jessica Chastain, and Susan Sarandon. If his previous films are anything to go by, these new films (and his future films) will be eagerly anticipated and will be must sees.

  • Four Reasons To Start Sex With A Massage

    Four Reasons To Start Sex With A Massage

    Many couples enjoy the pleasure and intimacy of erotic massages as foreplay. As well as relaxing the recipient, a strong, explorative, erotic massage can also have real, noticeable benefits for the giver and for the couple as a whole. Want to give your lover some truly unforgettable bodywork?

    Then read on.

    Four reasons to start sex with a massage

    • It strips away boundaries in a natural, unhurried way, building a real connection and singularity between both lovers.

    • It brings the recipient’s senses to life, as they begin to react and respond to the touch of the masseuse.

    • It gives the masseuse a better understanding of their lover’s pleasure zones, allowing them to see what they do and do not respond to. This will later inform love-making techniques, rhythms and positions.

    • The recipient’s whole body loosens up, with different parts connecting in ways that are not always possible. This builds towards stronger, longer orgasms.

    Five steps to the perfect erotic massage

    • Before

    It is vital that you create the best possible atmosphere for your love-making. Be sure you are in a

    quiet space that will be yours and yours alone for at least two hours. Switch off all phones and

    minimise overhead light, using candles if possible. Incense and low music are also helpful additions.

    • To begin

    Ask your lover to lay face-down on the bed, table, couch or whatever comfortable platform you have setup for their massage. Check that they are relaxed and not strained in their position. Then place your hands on the centre of their back and feel their breathing pattern. Take a moment to acclimatise yours with theirs, until you are both breathing in and out at the same pace.

    • Gentle touches and slow strokes

    Your first strokes should be tender, using only your fingertips to allow your lover’s senses to know that pleasure is coming. Next, place some warmed massage oil on your hand and slowly rub it all over their body, from the top of their back to the heels of their feet. Tell your lover that they can move and express themselves however they like, to guide you and to give them a sense of both pleasure and mutual control.

    • Rollover

    When you have rubbed the oil sensually and slowly all over your lover, ask them to roll over. Now apply the oil to their front in the same measured strokes. Once they are fully relaxed, move your hands softly to their genitalia. Rub the oil around the outskirts of their sexual organ, teasing it into life, slow and sure, before moving in to the centre. Their arousal should be visible and audible, showing you when the time is right to move on to sex.

    • After sex

    When both lovers have climaxed, spoon together for a long moment, allowing your heartbeats and breathing to connect and synchronise once again. This will give a complete wholeness to your lovemaking.
    An erotic massage is a powerful, beautiful and, most of all, pleasurable way to begin sex. Try this technique for yourself.

    by Guysway

    This article was first published in July 2015.

  • Wal-Mart Sued After Failing To Insure Gay Employees After DOMA Ruling

    The US’s biggest grocery retailer is being sued for discriminating against a same-sex couple.

    A woman is suing Wal-Mart, a company, which owns the UK Asda brand, after failing to offer health insurance to her wife after DOMA was struck down.

    Jacqueline Cote, 52, is suing her employer, Wal-Mart after failing to extend its insurance benefits to its gay employees after the Defence of Marriage Act, DOMA, was struck down in June 2013. Wal-Mart only started including same-sex couples in January 2014.

    Cotes is alleging that her wife, Diana “Dee” Smithson had spent, according to a complaint filed on Tuesday in Boston federal court, in excess of $150,000 (£95,913) on medical treatments fighting ovarian cancer, which were uninsured. She claims it is in violation of the federal Civil Rights Act of 1964.

    Wal-Mart did extend insurance benefits to gay couples in January 2014.

    In an email to Bloomberg who originally reported the story, Brian Nick, a spokesman for Wal-Mart said, “[Walmart’s] benefits coverage previous to the 2014 update was consistent with the law.”

    Ms. Cote’s class action suit will be the first of its kind since the United States Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal across all of the USA.

     

     

  • Nearly Half Of Grindr Guys Have Found A Long Term Relationship

    When you think of Grindr, a long -term relationship might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but a recent survey by the tech company reveals that nearly 50% of guys have found love online.

    Nearly 50% of Grindr users have said that they have or had found long-term relationships on the social app that revolutionised the gay dating scene.

    47% of 2500 men surveyed said that they had found loving, long-term relationships on the app. A statement from the app’s blog said,

    “A whopping 47% of survey respondents said that they had found long-term friendships on Grindr – which goes to show that there are plenty of guys out there who aren’t just looking for Mr. “Right Now.”

    In a recent review of gay dating apps by THEGAYUK’s dating guru Scott Sammons said,

    “Love it or hate it the fact is that most (emphasis on most, but not all) gay men have been on it at some point over the last six or seven years. I gave it up for two years when I was with my boyfriend and didn’t miss it but now that I’m single again it does become a little habit,

    “On the ‘looking for love’ scale, if you go onto it with low expectations when it does happen (and I know that it has) then it’s a pleasant surprise.”

     

  • ANGELA MERKEL: Marriage Between A Man A Woman

    The German Chancellor, Angela Merkel does not believe that gay couples should have the right to marry.

    ◉ Said that marriage is between a man and woman living together

    ◉ Chancellor is out of touch with the German people on the issue of same-sex marriage

    Angela Merkel revealed her thoughts on same-sex marriage yesterday in an interview posted on YouTube and while she supports LGBT equality, it stops at civil partnerships.

    Speaking to YouTuber Florian Mundt, who has over 2.6 million subscribers, Huffington Post reports she said,

    “We have come a long way; when I remember, 25 years ago, many people didn’t dare to say that they are gay or lesbian.

    “Luckily we overcame this; you can enter a partnership, a civil partnership.

    The Chancellor reiterated that she wanted to end discrimination and she wanted equality and was questioned about how she could end discrimination whilst differentiated between straight and gay couple’s rights to marriage.

    Merkel replied, “No discrimination,”

    “Marriage as a man and a woman living together.”

    “For me, personally, marriage is a man and a woman living together. That is my concept, but I support civil partnerships.”

     

    OUT OF TOUCH?

    Statistics show that Merkel is out of touch with the German people on the issue. A survey undertaken in 2013 by RTL Television and Stern magazine revealed that nearly three-quarters of Germans are in favour of same-sex marriage.

     

  • FILM REVIEW | Boys In Brazil

    ★ | Boys In Brazil

    This painfully unfunny dramedy starts and ends with a group of four closeted gay friends at São Paulo’s Gay Parade, one of the largest in the world. As the Parade ends one of them is gay-bashed and after they beat the thugs off, the four make a pact that by the time of next year’s Parade they will all finally come out of the closet.

    Outrageously camp teenager Mauro has aspirations to be a Drag queen, something his devout evangelical parents are quick to put a stop too once they catch him midstream trying out his lip-synching routine. Their reaction is to drag around their local priest to exorcise the devil out of their son. Mauro’s rather shy best friend Rodrigo just needs a push to hook up with another handsome classmate, and telling his parents that he now has a boyfriend is rather a non-event.

    Mauro’s gay uncle Vicente who was also part of the group is a high-flying businessman who panics when his boss is in town from Paris and insists on having dinner with Vicente and his wife. Vicente’s best girlfriend is dragged into be his beard, but he needn’t have bothered as the boss turns out to be gay too. Who Vicente would have preferred to be dining with is Roger the rather hunky man he helped rescue from the gay bashing incident. Roger, however, is married and about to be a father a second time, and just cannot find the time to reach his part of the pact and come out to his wife. It’s not helped by the fact that his mother-in-law (played by a real-life drag queen!) practically lives with them.

    Then there is the angry and rather annoying self-righteous lesbian blogger who sits in judgement of them all and wants to publicly ‘out’ both Roger and Mauro against their wishes.

    The cliché driven very lame plot is packed full of old-fashioned stereotypes that seem so out of place in contemporary gay cinema. Even the coming-out aspect of the stories are handled so clumsily, that they are difficult to empathise with.

    I saw this one so you wouldn’t have too!

  • STYLE: Trending Tees

    With the long summer days and nights finally arriving it’s time to cast aside the baggy jumpers and flash the tees. A good t-shirt you’ll want to keep forever so here in the office we’ve been giving the new Japanese art inspired brand Akai Kuma a style testing.

    (more…)

  • US Bakery Which Was Fined $135000 For Discrimination Makes 3 Times In Donations

    The Sweet Cakes bakery, at the centre of a legal battle which saw it fined $135,000 has raised over $348,000 in donations.

    A gay couple were awarded $135,000 in damages after the Sweet Cakes bakery refused to bake a wedding cake for them in 2013 on the grounds that it was against their religious beliefs.

    The owners of Sweet Cakes, Aaron and Melissa Klein, started a GoFundMe page asking supporters to help them with their legal costs.

    GoFundMe closed the campaign saying that it violated the site’s terms and conditions, but not before the fundraiser had racked up $109,000 in donations. The decision to pull the crowdfunder from GoFundMe came down to the fact that laws had been violated. GoFundMe allowed Sweet Cakes to take the funds already collected minus its fees and taxes.

    Another site, Continue To Give has allowed the campaign to go on and the Kleins have received over 232% of the $150,000 they’re asking for. The page encourages users to “help the Kleins through this hard time as they fight for religous [sic] freedom”.

    The page’s mission statement reads: “Every American should be free to live and work according to their faith without the government punishing them for doing so.”

    Continuetogive.com take 3.9% + $0.60 per donation. According to the site, the Sweet Cakes fundraiser has had 7611 donations. Meaning that it will have grossed around $25540.60

    In April owners of a Pizza parlour in Indiana said that they would refuse to serve a gay wedding, saying it would never deliver pizza to a gay wedding. A crowd funded was started and raised over $800,000.

  • LGBT hate crime and how to defend yourself

    According to the Gay British Crime Survey 2013, compiled by Stonewall, one in ten LBGT people were physically abused in an act of hate crime in the previous three years, and twice that number were threatened with violence. Of the attacks that took place, two thirds were carried out by men who were unknown to the victim and half of these were carried out by men under the age of 25.

    Whilst members of the LBGT community continue to feel under threat from homophobic physical assault, it’s no wonder that many people including females, are wanting to learn self-defence, should the worst happen. Throughout the country there are a growing number of self-defence courses being set up to cater for this increased demand. One such high profile course is offered by the University of London, which combines martial arts and personal awareness training to help LBGT students “better understand their personal safety and give them the confidence to protect themselves.”

    For those who are averse to joining a self-defence class but still want some advice on how to protect themselves when threatened with attack, there are a number of fairly easy techniques to use.

    The priority should always be to try to prevent the attack happening in the first place, and there are a number of steps that can be done to do this. Firstly, people should avoid situations in which they make themselves vulnerable to attack. Attacks are less likely in busy places and especially so if the person threatened is with other people. Being drunk or under the influence of drugs also makes people easy targets. LGBT people in threatening situations need to be aware of their surroundings and should seek the help of others.

    Remember that in most cases, the aggressor is looking for an easy target. If they continue to threaten, it’s important to maintain eye contact. By doing this, the person threatened is showing that they are not intimidated and this will often lead to the aggressor backing down.

    Whilst any confrontation is taking place, it’s important for the victim to stay calm and focused. The aggressor will want the victim to give them a reason for striking out. So, do not accept any challenge, retaliate with insults or strike out first. Walking away can help, but if the bully is truly intent on attacking, it gives them the perfect opportunity to strike whilst the victim is most at risk.

    If the aggressor begins to attack, the first thing the victim should do is shout out at them to get off. This lets others know they are under attack and lets the attacker know they are not an easy target. This may lead to intervention by others or make the attacker think twice about continuing.

    Once the attack has started, it’s even more important to stay in control. Rather than simply hitting out, any counter attack needs to be done where it is likely to have the greatest impact on the aggressor; the eyes, nose, neck, groin, knees and legs. The victim should always use their arms to attack the top half of an aggressor’s body and the legs for the bottom half. How close the attacker is should determine where it is best to strike them. Avoid getting too close as this might cause the attacker to attempt a body hold to put the victim on the ground and make them more vulnerable.

    To make it easier to escape a physical assault, it is always best to strike in places that will cause the attacker pain. The victim can scratch, poke, or even gouge the aggressor’s eyes or use the heel of the hand to stun their nose – both of which would hurt enough to give time to get away from the confrontation.

    Other strikes that can be useful include chopping the side of neck using a flat hand to stun an assailant, or kicking their knee, particularly from the side, which will knock them off balance.

    Victims should always remember that the aim of self-defence is to protect oneself – you have a legal right to do so. However, once there is an opportunity to escape it should be taken. If the aggressor is down and out, do not continue attacking; stop and leave. This will protect you from any legal complaint made by the aggressor

    For more detailed instructions on self-defence, it is highly recommended that individuals take part in organised classes run by qualified instructors, whether ones for the general public or ones specifically set up for the LBGT community.

  • Nearly Half Of Grindr Guys Have Found A Long Term Relationship

    When you think of Grindr, a long -term relationship might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but a recent survey by the tech company reveals that nearly 50% of guys have found love online.

    Nearly 50% of Grindr users have said that they have or had found long-term relationships on the social app that revolutionised the gay dating scene.

    47% of 2500 men surveyed said that they had found loving, long-term relationships on the app. A statement from the app’s blog said,

    “A whopping 47% of survey respondents said that they had found long-term friendships on Grindr – which goes to show that there are plenty of guys out there who aren’t just looking for Mr. “Right Now.”

    In a recent review of gay dating apps by THEGAYUK’s dating guru Scott Sammons said,

    “Love it or hate it the fact is that most (emphasis on most, but not all) gay men have been on it at some point over the last six or seven years. I gave it up for two years when I was with my boyfriend and didn’t miss it but now that I’m single again it does become a little habit,

    “On the ‘looking for love’ scale, if you go onto it with low expectations when it does happen (and I know that it has) then it’s a pleasant surprise.”

  • COMMENT: Come On Gays Let’s Play Nicely. Why Is Camp A Problem For Some Gay Men?

    One would automatically assume all gay men blissfully rub their pumped-up deltoids alongside other homosexuals. Coexisting side-by-side in one big pink, glittery rainbow chum-fest. That’s not completely the Louis Vuitton case. Queer men can be just as homophobic as any straight man.

    Some of them have a grievance with those disco-ball-swinging, Kylie-loving, hot-pant donners – in other words, camp men. Graham Norton and Alan Carr have been set-upon via Twitter for being part of the screaming, mincing, flamboyant-clothes-wearing brigade. The verbal attacks have mostly come from the straight-acting, masculine trying-to-conform, anti-camp homos.

    The prejudice isn’t just from nasty little quips on social media but also on gay dating sites. Some sites will specify straight-acting only, while others have profile settings you can categorise yourself as straight-acting.

    Their beef: having stereotypical homos in the limelight gives the perception that all gays are lipstick-wearing fairies.

    I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been sipping a Cinzano in a gay establishment and heard “you’d never know you were gay”.

     

    Depressingly the homosexual recipient usually takes the remark as a massive compliment.

     

    Why is camp a problem to some gay men?

    They want all the joys that come with being a c**ksucker, but without the association or identity.

    Of course not every homo loves shopping, shiny things and Cher. Gays come in all shapes and sizes, have different attributes and mannerisms and come from all walks of life. Gay dating sites never say “effeminate men only” or “no gingham shirt wearers here”.

    With such prejudice against the limp-wristed row-of-tents lot, how is this affecting young camp gay men’s ability to come out, or simply be happy with who they really are, wherever they fit on the campness scale?

    Imagine a camp teenager living outside of London – the Big Smoke isn’t immune from homophobia but is probably the most accepting city. There’s no hiding he’s gay – camp isn’t a quality you switch on or off as you see fit. Yes, it can be accentuated while hamming up an anecdote or prancing around a dance floor with ya mates – but trying to hide the fundamental you 24/7 would be a hard challenge even for the likes of Meryl Streep.

    He would no doubt have come up against plenty of homophobia. Being the Iphone, android internet crazed society we are, this teenager is quickly going to scroll across such bigotry on social media and dating sites. What he should see from other gays is acceptance. Instead he could be pushed to self-loathing and internalise homophobic thoughts – all thanks to other homosexuals.

    Ask any gay man, outside the Big Smoke there isn’t such a high tolerance to homosexuality – especially in less privileged areas. Is it any wonder young gays still find it hard to come to terms with their sexuality. According to Youth Chances (YC), an organisation that helps young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people: 42% of young LGBTs have sought medical help for anxiety or depression; 52% report self-harm; 44% have considered suicide.

    Overtly queer young people suffer enough abuse and bullying from ignorant others. Do we really need to add more fuel to that homophobic fire?

    With so many in today’s society being derogatory towards stereotypical screaming queens, our own kind should be more accepting.

    Whether you’re a raving homo with a penchant for Gaga, a leather-clad bear or straight-acting lumberjack – let’s drop the prejudice and raise our tolerance levels. We’ve enough battles to fight without starting on one another.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

     

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