Out gay actor Chad Allen who rose to fame after starring in the hit TV series Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman has just published a video to say goodbye to his website fans as he is now leaving the bright lights of show business to focus on his own private life.
Allen was forced out of the closet in 1996 during Dr Quinn when a tabloid published photos of him kissing another man, but since then has been very involved in LGBT activism something he plans to continue to keep doing.
He also fully embraced his sexual orientation on screen, portraying Donald Strachey, a gay detective in a series of TV movies, and played a young gay addict who is placed into an ex-gay’ Christian retreat to be “cured” of his homosexuality in the movie Save Me.
In the video Allen explains,
“I’ve been focusing on my education and working as a clinical psychologist, which is something that I’m super excited about and I feel like it will give me an opportunity to take my life experiences and my passion for well-being and human growth and particularly my passion for helping young gay people grow in a healthy, confident way and I’ll be able to effect the world in a slightly different way. I like to think of my work as an actor and my work in psychology as being kind of similar. They’re both human behaviour. One’s an artistic perspective and this one a scientific.”
Lars is a young Danish soldier who is resentful because he has been thrown out of the Army after being accused of making a pass at some of his men.
Frustrated at being back home with his pushy interfering mother, and at a loose end and unsure of where his life is going, he becomes easy prey for a local gang of xenophobic neo-Nazi thugs looking for new recruits. Although somewhat reluctant at first, he naïvely allows himself to be drawn into the group and is soon recognised by the leaders as being a brighter than average convert who they want to install as a fully-fledged member.
Lars’ quick rise through the ranks doesn’t sit well with everyone, particularly as he is foisted onto the group’s hard-nutted lieutenant Jimmy who is bitterly resentful of Lars for usurping the position that he felt his psychotic brother should have got received. The angry Jimmy is ordered to be his trainer but the hate he shows however soon turns into lust, which ultimately turns to love in this most unlikely setting.
This award-winning movie shows the sheer brutality, and the depth and bitterness of the far right’s racism and homophobia in a powerful and moving way. It’s both explicit and shocking and its subject matter is unquestionably disturbing, but the way that this drama unfolds, juxtaposing vitriolic violence and hatred with its edge of tenderness in the love that comes through, makes this film totally unmissable.
Sometimes, just sometimes, this job gives you the chance to get your mitts on some really lovely kit. This is one of those times.
From first opening the package, to fitting these kitten soft headphones on my my head was all pure, unadulterated pleasure. The looks, the feel, the… but I’m getting carried away here.
The brand is a new UK based purveyor of audio excellence. Based just outside London, this group of individuals have done their homework, and have been willing to put the hours in to design and manufacture something truly wonderful.
I got to road test the Galvanise S2 in grey and fell in love almost immediately but you can view both new styles at the website (address below) and choose between the S1 or S2.
Lets consider the design of these puppies. Each set has been crafted from British aerospace grade aluminium and the softest leather I’ve ever seen (or felt!). They weigh nothing and really do caress your ears – I don’t think I could ever go back to plastic in-ear type again. The contrast between the black leather and matt metal with a flash of red inside is sheer genius – the look may be industrial chic but the feel is pure handmade.
The cord is a woven nylon, giving them a slight retro feel, and they come with both a soft and hard case for storage or travelling. All in all, a well thought out product.
I don’t pretend to understand some of the technical aspects of headphones, I’m more a looks and sounds man. The Bloc & Roc site talks about customised 40mm dynamic drivers being enhanced to deliver a powerful and well-balanced audio experience, all I know is they simply sound wonderful and envelope you in whatever you choose to play.
Could be a foreign language to me – but features like the fit, the cord being fabric and not cheap plastic, the inbuilt mic that allows you to take calls, and the near perfect sound they allow you to enjoy are all I need to know. The technical stuff, I leave to those that understand it, but these headphones deliver, in spades!
My only gripe? I still like my music loud, and there is some noise leakage with these, so avoid the quiet coach if travelling by train, otherwise, crank it up and let the world hear your choice.
The Positive
▪ The design
▪ Craftsmanship
▪ The extras (both hard and soft cases)
The Negative
▪ Some noise leakage at high volume
Price: £129..95 (plus £5.00 p&p to UK addresses)
Note: they do ship worldwide, so contact them for details.
Available from the site:
http://www.blocandroc.co.uk
I’m rating these a 5. Why? Firstly, I am sick of seeing that headphone with the B everywhere. Secondly, they are a UK product that shows design at its best. Thirdly, and most importantly, they work and work well.
After an episode in Call the Midwife in mid-March there was a clear split between viewers: there were those that praised the strong (though crowded) storyline and viewers from the LGBT community (mainly the L) that were reeling and disappointed by yet another blow to a gay TV couple.
For a long time now gay viewers have complained by the lack of happy gay couples on TV, lesbians, in particular, have felt hard done by with several TV shows killing or “turning straight” lesbian characters. So with hardly any TV representation and coming hot on the heals of Last Tango in Halifax “lesbian hit by car” plot-line, repeating this on Midwife hit hard.
Viewers took to internet and message-boards to express their sadness, grief and anger.
Sad the BBC don't yet have the guts to show a happy, functional, healthy gay relationship without destroying it at the end. #callthemidwife
“While on The L Chat people said: Lesbians strive to gain greater social acceptance and respect as a minority. But millions of people watch these family oriented Sunday evening dramas (CTM, LTiH) and will come to accept that this is a pattern, that lesbians don’t matter much. It can help to shape viewers’ perceptions, that lesbians are less valuable as people, are dispensable, don’t deserve a happy life together. TV is a powerful medium and can have a huge impact on how people think.”
The fact that it was Call the Midwife, known for its deep and well-researched and often educational storylines presenting this story hurt the most. I, though, am less surprised.
At the end of last year’s Call the Midwife I wrote a column criticising nurse Patsy’s badly written coded coming out. I was told by viewers to wait and see, because they were sure that the story would be handled better in the coming season.
So come January I sat down, and halfway through the series, I begun to feel I might be happily proven wrong in my initial criticism. I watch Patsy blossom, become opener, stand up for her believes and finally find love. Still, though, I felt something missing. Patsy’s love story always seemed written as an afterthought. It was there, the right things were said, but it seemed rushed as if the script had been written and the writer then remembered: “Oh, what about Patsy!!”
Compared to the love stories of Chummy, Trixy and Shelagh where episodes were dedicated to their falling, doubts and other things that lovers do, the two or three minutes we got to spend with Patsy and Delia were crumbs. I had hoped for something stronger, especially after the hart hitting “The Undesirables” (though I found the comparison between LGBT and rats a bit, well … odd). Why not counter this with in the last episode with the girls setting up life together as good as they could. The drama could have come from these girls having to hide their love, while Fred and Vi had their wedding. After a whole years and season of waiting this felt very much like a cop out.
Soon complaints were sent off to head writer Heidi Thomas and the BBC. Some viewers were so disappointed that they might have expressed a bit more strongly then they otherwise would, scaring Heidi. She told followers: “The hate mail has come from people who feel they should only be allowed to be happy. It is very difficult and may well frighten others away from creating gay characters. Never mind – it doesn’t frighten me!”
With this reply she seems to have missed the point. Having a strong, settled gay couple in one of the biggest TV shows in the UK means a lot. Of course not everyone has to be happy, but it seems as if TV writers thrive on having no gay couple happy. This is very damaging to young people, as it tells them gay relationships are unhappy by default.
Supporters of Heidi say that the relationship ending like this is realistic for the time the series is set in. Well, none of my family recalls every lesbian in the 50s or 60s being hit by a car and suffering amnesia, forgetting her sexual orientation. There were thousands of very secret but not less loving relationships out there. In fact there are many lesbian couples from the 1960s still together now.
A storyline focusing on the girls living together and dealing with the difficulties thrown at them while sticking together would have been much more daring and original then throwing a dated cliché at us.
There were happy, if clandestine, lesbian relationships in the 60s just as there are happy & out relationships now @BBCOne#CallTheMidwife
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
Bridgend in South Wales seems to be enjoying a bit of a heatwave as I make my way to meet Russ Hughes, the photographer and creator of the Boys of Bridgend for a chat about the upcoming 2016 calendar. Well, it might not be a heatwave but it’s definitely warmer than usual for April and things are about to get a whole lot hotter as he’s promised to bring along one of this year’s new recruits for a chat. There are definitely worse ways to spend an afternoon.
I arrive to catch the tail end of an ongoing shoot, though I seem to have missed the opportunity for naked men with this one. It’s a young woman getting head shots for a portfolio, I’m informed. As she leaves, in walks Rhys, one of the calendars newest recruits who I can only describe as ‘traditionally beautiful’. Even fully dressed you can see that he is in splendid shape with his boyish good looks and cheeky smile. I’m impressed. If this is a taster of what is to come with the new calendar then pulses are set to race the world over.
We sit, drinks are poured and our chat begins. I’m interested to know how the Boys of Bridgend began. Unlike other calendars on the market, the guys who feature here aren’t part of a collective group or team and while some of them have known each other for a long time, the only solid connection that seems to bring them all together is that they all hail from this small Welsh town. So I begin by asking Russ how it all came to be.
“I’m asked on a regular basis to do charity work, be it donating shoots as prizes or shooting charity events, but I wanted to do something more to help, so one day I hit on the idea of a calendar and it all went from there. I’d never done anything like it before and I had no idea about the amount of work that it needed, but once I set my mind to it there was no stopping me. I just had to work out who to shoot, where to shoot, how to fund it and how to get it made on a tiny budget. I also set myself a timescale of 3 months to get it all done. Now that I know what I know, that seems insane, but I went into it a bit naïve and looking for a challenge and I definitely set myself one.”
Russ Hughes/Boys Of Bridgend
The 2015 calendar went on to be a big success, selling in over 35 countries, so it seems that it was a challenge that he managed to overcome, but what about the process of making it. How did it get off the ground?
“I’d love to say that it was plain sailing but it seemed like we hit brick walls at every turn. On the day of the very first shoot the model text me to say he was pulling out. I think he’d spent too long overthinking it and had talked himself out of it by the time the shoot day came. We were already miles behind schedule and I was panicking like you wouldn’t believe. I text one of the other guys who finished work and drove over, so we at least got the shoot done, but we were still a guy short. By the time we had completed all 12 shoots we had lost a further 2 guys who then had to be replaced, and we were still behind schedule. Aside from the shoot problems, we also had trouble finding funding to even get it printed. Companies just weren’t interested. In the back of my mind I was worried that I would be left with hundreds of pictures but no calendar to put them in. I ended up paying over half of the printing costs myself just to make sure that it was made and nobody ended up disappointed.”
You’ve been teasing us on social media with snippets from this year’s calendar, which is very obviously different from what we’ve seen before, so what sparked the change?
“There’s a couple of reasons, really, but mostly because of how well the last calendar did. We always thought that we would sell a couple of copies locally, raise some money for the charity and that would be that, but it went down a storm and people were buying it from all over the world. It was obviously a winning formula so changing that this year is a bit of a risky move, but we don’t want to get complacent, either. We did it one way and it worked well, so now we want to test the water and give everyone something different. People who have already bought the calendar already have lots of black and white images of naked men in the Bridgend countryside, so if and when they decide to buy the new calendar we will be giving them something completely different for their money so it won’t seem like they’ve paid for the same thing twice. We’ve put out teasers on Facebook and Twitter which have had a really positive response, which is brilliant, but just like last year, you haven’t seen anything yet. The final calendar images are still under lock and key and have been seen by nobody.”
“Keeping things fresh and new is what we want to do, and we really have changed everything. The theme of the calendar is completely different, we’ve got a bunch of new guys and we’ve also changed the charity we will be supporting this year as well.”
Russ Hughes/Boys Of Bridgend
Money raised from the 2015 calendar went on to support the Everyman Appeal, which benefits men who suffer from testicular and prostate cancer, while money from the 2016 calendar will go towards the Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation. How did that partnership come about?
“The guys over at the StandUp Foundation have been amazing. Really, truly amazing. We have had such a great response from fans and we really want to be as interactive as possible, so when work started on the new calendar we put it to our supporters for them to suggest charities that they would like to see us donate to. The response was incredible and there were lots of worthwhile charities thrown into the mix, but the one that came up over and over was the StandUp Foundation, so it was a no brainer for us. We contacted them to explain who we are and what we do and within an hour they were on the phone to us to get it in place and they have been fantastic ever since. The work they do, especially within the LGBT community has been so brilliant and the fact that we can help them is amazing. It’s like we’ve come full circle. It’s no secret that if it weren’t for the LGBT community the first calendar would have been nowhere near the success that it was. They really took us to their hearts and gave us sales all over the world. I love the fact that we can now give back to them in some way by supporting a charity that does so much work, both here in the UK and elsewhere in the world, to tackle homophobia. If we can make one persons’ life a little easier through sales of this calendar then we will have done something worthwhile.”
“It really is an amazing charity,” adds Rhys. “I do a lot of charity work but I’m especially proud to be supporting the StandUp Foundation. What this charity is striving to achieve and already have achieved is a massive boost for not just the youth but people of all ages. No-one should have to grow up being bullied or feeling ashamed. It’s bad enough to witness it let alone being the one on the receiving end of it, so the message the charity is sending out is such an important one. We all need to stand up and hopefully we can encourage more people to acknowledge what is going on and do more to help stop it.”
And it was just those sort of prejudices that put another spanner in the works for the boys this year which could have seen them have to cancel the 2016 calendar altogether.
“Yeah, it was a really sh**y time, actually. After the success of the last calendar we had companies actually approaching us wanting to help fund the next one, which was a big relief for us. When I had a meeting with them to discuss the new theme and charity our biggest sponsor decided to pull out. He didn’t want his company to be seen to be supporting LGBT causes as he thought the association would be detrimental, and so that was that. We didn’t try to persuade him as that’s not the kind of attitude that we want to be associated with, either, so we were happy to part ways but it left us with a big hole to cover our printing costs. We decided to dip our toe into Crowdfunding to see if that would help and luckily we have ourselves some amazing supporters because we hit our target in 8 days. How amazing is that? All our former sponsor did was confirm the fact that we were supporting the right charity this year, and once again the LGTB community came through for us when we really needed it.”
I was keen to know how Rhys, a 24 year old support worker, found himself signing up to appear in the latest calendar. Was there any sort of audition process or did you manage to just win them over with your looks? (Cue lots of blushing)
“I’ll have to leave all the ladies and gentlemen decide about my looks I think. I just saw an advert that was posted way back in January to say they were looking for guys for the new calendar so I thought I would give it a go and sent over some pictures. They asked some questions about me, I think to make sure I would be comfortable getting my kit off, and about my job and age, stuff like that, and then it all sort of went from there. It all happened pretty quickly, really. I’ve done a lot of charity work in the past, though nothing like this, but I am up for anything so I figured I’d give it a go and it’s been great.”
And what about the shoot? You didn’t have to get naked in the great outdoors like last year’s recruits, but how did you find the overall process of it?
“It was actually a really great experience, to be honest. Shooting with the props was really funny. That was probably my favourite part of the shoot because we had a good laugh doing it. Russ helped me to settle in really quickly and we just got in with it. I wasn’t nervous or shy but I wasn’t sure how I would take to doing the poses. When you see photo shoots they always look great but you never realise how awkward it can feel because it’s not something you naturally do, but Russ was happy with what we got so I left feeling confident that it went well.”
All of the guys from this year are being kept firmly under wraps, so has it been difficult to keep the secret about what you’re doing? Does anyone know?
“I checked with Russ and then told my parents, brother and my partner. I think I will probably get a bit of a ribbing from the boys I play football with when they find out, especially when they see some of the shots we took, but they will know it’s for a good cause so it will all be in good fun. My family thought it was hilarious but they’re really proud of me for doing it.”
So what’s next then? Calendar buying time is still a few months away but you’re all still hard at work. What can we expect to see from you over the coming months?
“We don’t want to take anyone or anything for granted. We’re trying really hard to be as interactive as possible and get amongst our followers and supporters, so we’re on Twitter and Facebook every day chatting with people and keeping everyone up to date. It’s important to us that we build connections with people rather than disappear for eight months of the year and then come begging when we have something to sell. We want to be approachable and friendly and not just be salesmen. We’re constantly thinking up ways to bring content to people and we release new teaser images all the time to show people what we’re doing. We’re hoping to be able to get out on the road this summer and go to some local Pride’s so if anyone wants to see us, get in touch. We’ve got a big reveal coming shortly where everyone will finally get to see all the guys from the new calendar for the first time and loads more merchandise coming out as well so if the calendar isn’t enough, you’ll soon be able to buy clothes, keyrings, mugs and loads of other stuff, with money from all sales going to the charity. We’ve also been working on video content, some of which you can see already on YouTube, with more to be released throughout the year. It’s going to be a busy few months. Bigger and Better. That’s what we keep telling everyone.
Three lifeguards pal around until things turn ugly one night in the new film ‘Drown.’
‘Drown’ is a film with very ugly overtones. And it’s not even a positive portrayal of a young gay man who continues to get beaten up and up by an evil homophobic asshole. Handsome Jack Matthews plays Phil. He’s the newby lifeguard in a team that includes the unpredictable and very volatile Len (Matt Levett). They form a trio with fellow lifeguard nick-named Meat (Harry Cook), and together all three bond, in some sort of strange way.
Len has some kind of strange fascination for Phil, it’s either because Phil is gay and Len doesn’t like it or because Len is secretly attracted to Phil, though won’t admit it to himself. Len is also jealous of Meat, because of his very large penis (not shown unfortunately). But when Phil beats Len in a Lifeguard competition, it causes Len to fume with anger and more jealously because he was beaten by a homosexual.
Len’s anger grows even more after Phil’s very handsome boyfriend Tom (Sam Anderson) enters the picture.
Drown is told in flashbacks beginning with their night out to celebrate Phil’s win. But it’s a night out that turns out to be both dangerous, and extremely absurd.
In flashbacks taking us away from that night out, we see Len beating Phil up, but Phil denies Len ever doing so, and we’re not told why. Surely an extremely homophobic lifeguard with sadistic tendencies needs to be shown the door? And perhaps arrested? Meat is an accomplice to Len’s evil doings – he’s the bitch that Len seems to desperately want. Len even orders Meat to take off injured Phil’s clothes off on a deserted beach? Including his underwear. And most of the time the dialogue is ridiculous, especially in the moments when Len and Meat are discussing Meat’s large penis.
I was just hoping Len would either put it in his mouth or take it up his arse, just to relieve some of his sexual anxiety. And while there are beautiful images of the men swimming, and sunsets, and a woman who swims and swims out to the ocean with the likelihood that she won’t be coming back used as a metaphor for Len’s personality, it all makes for a highly uncomfortable and almost unwatchable 93-minute film.
When journalist David Thorpe found himself single again in his mid-forties he started to angst as to what could possibly be so wrong with him that he should be dumped so unceremoniously. His immediate thought was that the problem must be his voice, that he had always hated, and how it must now be a turn off for other men too. It propelled him into jettisoning his job working for a non-profit housing association and embarking on a journey to ask the world at large the question that had been nagging him for years… do I sound gay?
★★★★★
Thorpe’s somewhat light-hearted investigation starts with him accepting that he dislikes gay-sounding voices, especially his own and he wonders if with professional help it can in fact be changed. A very pushy speech therapist has him working on his ‘nasality’ and long vowels to get a ‘go-too’ voice whatever that maybe. She, thank goodness, is not the only figure that Thorpe seeks advice from and his interviews with some legendary gay figures make both sound, and also hilarious, contributions to his quest.
Satirist David Sedaris admits that his own remarkably effeminate sounding voice means that he is regularly mistaken on the phone as a woman. Disarmingly frank Sedaris confesses that he actually feels good when a stranger tells him that he doesn’t ‘sound gay’ even though he had believed himself to be ‘beyond all that’. Project Runway’s Tim Gunn says he was appalled when he first heard his voice, but has learned to live with it and love it even. ‘If people hear my voice and call me gay, I’ll say thank you. I’m proud of it’.
Sex columnist Dan Savage adds a touch of seriousness to the topic by commenting that ‘hating your voice is the last vestige of internalised homophobia.’ On the other hand actor Jeff Hiller handles the reality of the roles that his ‘gay voice’ will limit him too with remarkable good humour and a healthy dashing of some wicked wit. ‘If the gay role is a meaty part, they will always cast a straight actor. If the part is a gay guy with a hot body then I obviously cannot play that. So I just play the sad self-hating bitter queens’, he says roaring with laughter and adding ‘ I’ll take those ugly girl roles because at least I get to work.’
Thorpe sprinkles his immensely watchable documentary with some lively vox populi, and also his own friends are on hand to lend their voices too even though they do not share his concern that the subject matter is really that important. When at the end he pushes them to give an opinion of his newly trained voice they all tell him that they cannot notice any difference in how he sounds at all. However what they (and we) perceive by now is that his voice didn’t change, but he did.
As his most entertaining journey draws to a conclusion Thorpe realised that there was nothing wrong with sounding like he does, and equally there is nothing wrong with being a gay man having a gay voice. He was very content to have taken on his quest summing it up his reasoning of ‘if you cannot handle the answer then it’s a question you’ve got to ask.’ We’re glad he did.
A gay bar in Iowa was sent a letter that purported to contain the lethal disease Anthrax.
A bar in Des Monies called The Blazing Saddle was sent a homophobia letter, which contained a powder, which the sender reported was anthrax.
The powder was revealed to be foot powder, however, the threat was taken very seriously by local law enforcement. A local man, Eric Reece Wiethorn, 49, has since been arrested for posting the letter and has been charged with first-degree harassment.
The letter reads:
“It’s time for all the faggots and dykes to die on Capital Pride night!
“Your secret enemies are going to blow up your destination for going to hell tonight, and were going to eat roast faggot the following morning.
“This is your punishment for sinning against God, and hopefully you’ll die from the anthrax on this letter!”
Speaking to the Des Moines Register, co-owner of The Blazing Saddle said,
“I opened the mail up thinking it was a thank you letter, it turned out to be a hate letter.
“[It said] faggot this, faggot that… and a white powder popped out, so I thought ‘call the police now’, because you don’t know.
“We were locked down until hazmat came and examined it, it turned out to be talcum powder.
“It’s very childish, very hateful, and I though this city had grown up more than that.”
He added: “We get hate mail like this every once in a while but never powder.”
There have been a number of attacks using Anthrax in the past, one of the most notorious was the 2001 Anthrax attacks which targeted news media offices and two US Senators.
It’s official at last. Hillary Clinton will run for president of the USA. The announcement came yesterday in a video released by her campaign that in typical Hillary style features a diverse group of people making changes in their lives, including a male couple about to be married. A female couple is also included in the video.
Not only does Hillary Clinton support marriage equality, she’s spoken out on the other side of all those arguments. She really consolidated her standing among the LGBT community with a speech she gave before the United Nations in Geneva while Secretary of State in December 2011 in which she said to the world that “Being LGBT does not make you less human. And that is why gay rights are human rights, and human rights are gay rights.”
Documents released this week by the National Archives at the Clinton Library show it was Hillary Clinton’s staff who pushed during her husband’s presidency for greater acceptance of LGBT people. For example, President Obama signed an executive order last year that went into effect last week banning discrimination in employment by federal contractors — something that Hillary Clinton’s staff pushed her husband to do back in August 2000.
Her candidacy is in great contrast to the two senators who have declared that they are running to be the republican candidate for one of the most powerful jobs in the world. Paul Rand has said that same-sex couples shouldn’t get to use the word marriage because it “offends myself and a lot of people,” whilst the right-wing Ted Cruz went one step further when he publically declared he was against “the radical gay marriage agenda,” then went on to warn his supporters about the gay ‘jihad’ against religious freedom.
Openly gay Robby Mook, a Democratic strategist who ran Terry McAuliffe’s successful 2013 campaign for Governor of Virginia, has been chosen to be Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign Manager.
What’s the cost of a gendered name? Lola was discharged after the clinic that they* had attended for two years determined that not changing their name from Lola to a male gendered or gender neutral name did not warrant the surgery that would ultimately make them feel more like Lola.
When I went to the gender identity clinic’s (GIC) welcoming session, they proudly told me that they treated non-binary transgender people. A non-binary person is someone who identifies as something other than male or female. I am agender, so I am neither of those options.
It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am. I was born with a condition that caused me to not produce many hormones, including oestrogen and testosterone. I was put on hormone replacement therapy when I was 12 and now I take both oestrogen and testosterone.
Being quite androgynous when I was younger, I got bullied frequently by others demanding to know my gender. That made me want to fit in. I didn’t resist hormone replacement therapy when I was 12. I embraced it. It was about growing older to me. But the more I developed, the worse I felt.
When I discovered the concept of “agender”, it fit. It matched how I felt my entire life and it just made sense to me. I suspected for years and years that I wanted my chest to not be there any more. And when I finally put on a binder – everything fit.
For the last five years, I’ve been pursuing chest surgery. Unfortunately, my chest isn’t large enough to merit what I want through the NHS. So, with the encouragement of my doctors and despite the warnings from other non-binary people, I went through the GIC.
I waited two years in total from start to finish to be denied. I had two assessments with two different psychiatrists, lasting an hour and a half each. In three hours, I told the truth. I told them where I came from, what I’d been through, and what I needed from them.
Two days ago, I received a discharge from the GIC. It stated:
“We would not countenance endorsement of an irreversible surgical procedure unless the individual had been able to demonstrably consolidate a social transition including name change to the preferred gender role.”
I don’t recall even begin asked during my assessment if I had plans to change my name. The name I go by is Lola. I love it. I don’t care if it’s not “gender neutral” because my experience of being androgynous early in life is that no matter what, if people can’t guess your gender, they’ll just ask.
Changing my name to something gender neutral won’t actually make anyone see me for who I am. It’ll just make people ask me what I am. I don’t live in a society where people will ever see me as agender just from looks, so, as frustrated as it makes me, I cope with it by trying my best to accept it. What’s more important for me is having my body feel right.
And it doesn’t. As the summer months approach, my anxiety increases thinking of the way the heat reminds me of the constant presence of my chest. Every day I feel like I’m lugging around two giant tumours. The psychological relief I feel by wearing a binder is good, but the physical discomfort and pain of it cutting into my skin makes it not a good enough long-term solution.
While I owe my life to the NHS and I am glad for the treatment I receive for my disability, the lack of money allocated toward GICs only means that they are forced to pick and choose. Individuals who go to a GIC and wait 9-6 months for a first appointment and longer to be assessed, we’re not confused about what we want.
The journey it takes to realising your gender is different and your need for medical assistance begins way before you reach a GIC, so most already know how they feel before they get assessed. Still, with a limited pot of funding, I suppose they must make decisions based on ridiculous, outdated criteria.
Criteria that make it impossible for agender people to actually receive any care.
Around this time of Transgender Visibility, I would like people to know and see the struggles transgender and non-binary people face to receive care. And maybe, in time, “GIC” won’t be such a tumultuous word among transgender people.
Lola is currently fundraising for their chest surgery via YouCaring.
*We asked Lola which pronoun they were most comfortable us using to describe them.
This article was taken from Issue 11 of TheGayUK. To Subscribe click here
by Lola
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★★★★ | Crouch, Touch, Pause, Engage – National Tour
Gareth Thomas is one of the most successful rugby players ever to take to the field for his country. But in the testosterone filled world of professional rugby, he hides the fact that he is gay, causing him to engage in a secret double life and bringing him to the brink of suicide. But equally, his hometown of Bridgend in Wales is also a place of sadness, as a spate of teen suicides blight the small, close-knit community. Crouch, Touch, Pause, Engage tells the story of both Gareth Thomas and his struggle with his sexuality and the story of two teenage girls from Bridgend, each battling with their own issues.
Set on a stage resembling a locker room, and utilising only the simplest of props and costumes, each of the six-strong cast played multiple characters and morphed seamlessly from one to another, including each taking turns to play Thomas himself, as they recounted the two intertwined stories. Told in a verbatim style with the script primarily delivered in a direct address to the audience, the writing of Robin Soans had a very natural feel as it was conveyed by the cast, leading to characters who were accessible, felt familiar and who were instantly likeable. From the cast, Rhys ap William and Daniel Hawksford stood out the most, with both delivering solid performances in their various roles. Taking the audience through a number of ‘crisis points’ in both stories, there were a couple of points during the play where I felt myself welling up; but interestingly enough, it was a real shame that the moment when Thomas comes out to his parents was not handled particularly well by Katie-Elin Salt, leaving such a pivotal scene feeling flat and slightly awkward despite the best endeavours of the other cast members.
The play draws parallels between the personal struggles of Thomas and the young people of Bridgend, demonstrating that even those considered heroes have their personal demons; and showing young people that they are not as isolated or alone as they may think. Dealing with a number of sensitive topics, the play handles them well, and draws a genuine emotional reaction from the audience as well as providing food for thought on many levels, whether that be empathising with the characters or their families on stage or reflecting on their own experiences and emotions.
Crouch, Touch, Pause, Engage is thought provoking and emotional, with an undeniably strong message of hope and positivity.
Crouch, Touch, Pause, Engage was reviewed at West Yorkshire Playhouse (www.wyp.org.uk ) and is continuing on its national tour, details of which can be found at http://www.outofjoint.co.uk/production/crouch-touch-pause-engage. You can also read our interview with Gareth Thomas about the production.
