You might not consider yourself racist, but if you’ve ever uttered something along lines “I’m just not into black guys” you might be suffering some structural racism.
Just because we are a marginalised demographic, doesn’t mean we don’t also further marginalise other people within our own community.
Let us explain… or in fact let Dylan Marron explain something to you.
In a video posted on the MTV Decoded Facebook page, Marron spells out that perhaps your “preference” of not wanting to go out with an Asian/Black/Mixed race guy could be a product of structural racism – because, in the Western world, we’ve all been brought up to believe that white/blonde/blue-eyed/twink/hairless (etc etc etc) is the beauty standard.
He explains,
“We actually learn how to define what is attractive from those around us. And because we’re raised within a framework of Western beauty standards, society often characterises non-white features as ‘different’ or ‘unattractive.’”
And if you’re wondering if why this happens, he explains,
“This is where structural racism comes into play. Because preferences are actually shaped by learned values. When you’re judging a person based solely on their racial background, you’re acting on generalisations you’ve learned to associate with that person’s appearance or heritage. You can’t say it’s their personality because you shut them down before you even got to know them.”
Top tips to get ahead and save you from meeting a man like your granddad unless, of course, that is your thing.
Prove the picture is him
If he has a profile photo and you are meeting through an app, right-click the image and google it to make sure it is him.
Name check
If you have a forename and surname back to the search engine and check out social media accounts, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
Web trawl
Your research could mean you will be able to cross reference the image to make sure it is current. Find out about his hobbies. Read his posts and find out about likes and dislikes. Check out his family and friends.
Lookout online for Ex’s they will almost certainly have a story to tell or have poured it out all over their timeline and feeds. Follow the trail of crumbs.
Somewhere in all of this, you may find out about his sexual health and preferences.
There may be professional profiles enabling you to look at the work play contrast.
If you still want to meet him and you have not been put off by your research, now is the time to use the insight you have gleaned.
Chat with him before a date
Is the guy a big drinker? If so go for a meal unless you are thinking of loosening him up and getting into the sac.
For a meal, you may already know where he likes to eat or perhaps a favourite food. Coffee or Cognac? All this insider information could make you look intuitive and compatible. Just remember if he knows all there is about you too, it is time to smile at each other and reveal you are both members of Stalkers Anonymous!
“STOP THE BUS!” You will have a foot in the door and established a rapport with these cheats, but now it is time to interact.
First Date Advice
Best advice for a first date is listen and learn. You already know about yourself, so give the guy some time to tell you about him. Wait and see if he wants to learn about and ask about you.
If he loves puppies and brought you flowers (did I mention a small gift as an icebreaker) is attentive and smiles a lot, brushing aside questions about himself, he could be a keeper
Get Out Clause
Have an out option in case he is not for you and the thought of spending another minute with him is hell on earth. I usually have a text ready to send and a friend primed to call me if I am bored, frightened or falling into the whirly pits of despair with a guy on a first date.
Leave the house empty
Finally, before leaving the house, have a wank. There is nothing worse than being so eager for “an empty” that it blurs your senses.
If you’re looking for a community of gay and bisexual men in the UK there are many forums, chat sites and apps to choose from each offering different types of experience and communities.
Whether you’re looking for dates, mates or fetes here are some of our favourites.
THEGAYUK Chat
Okay, we’re blowing our own trumpet here, but THEGAYUK’s community is an entirely different concept adding content and members together. So as stories are developing on the site and around the globe, we invite our users to get involved with the story and add their voices. There are forums, private messages, user photo galleries. It’s a relatively new service, so membership is building. It’s free to join and use. What’s more, we use our community to help shape our content. So if you have opinions that you want to get heard then you should join us!
Fitladz
Fitladz is one of our favourite haunts. It’s bitchy, fast-moving and has a real community feel to it. There’s usually between 600 and 1500 guys on at any point and has a fantastic forum system, with people bringing up all manner of subjects for the community to discuss. Basic membership is free and there is an option to upgrade.
Realjock
If fitness and the gym is more your scene Realjock.com is the place for you to hang in, although the membership tends to be US skewed, there are lots of Brits in the membership. Registration is free and will give you access to thousands of forums and millions (yes millions of posts). Apparently, they have nearly 400,000 members so as they say variety is the spice of life. The interface is simple looking and perhaps a little dated.
Gaydar
Who could forget the daddy of gay chat, Gaydar? The site has been through a major redesign and overhaul. It has a very clean interface and the old chat rooms are still intact but do seem a little quieter than when Gaydar was the only – or the major player in town. It’s clean and well laid out. There isn’t a guy aged over 35 who probably didn’t have a Gaydar account at some point! Maybe it’s time to dust off the old log in and get back on.
Onlylads
It took an age to join onlylads – because the activation code took forever to arrive in my inbox, although the site does allow for Facebook login, not everyone will want to use their other social media accounts to log in. The site claims to have over 100,000 profiles and come from all over the world. There’s no forum or chat room – but it does allow you to message individual members. It’s very clean looking and the interface is unfussy and user-friendly.
b-gay.com
b-gay.com has been around since 1999 and offers a lot of good and interesting gay and bi lifestyle content, however, its chat service has a lot of work needed to make it stand up against its rivals. It runs on Javascript or flash – which not every browser or user wants or has turned on. There doesn’t look to be a place where you can log in and create a profile. It’s all a bit anonymous to be a good social site for users. Great for lifestyle content not so great for social.
Caffmos
Caffmos is one of the most established social networks and its speciality is older guys, after all, it does stand for Contacts And Friendship For Men Over Sixty. The creators at Caffmos say that “friendship matters” and it’s been designed in a way to help the flow of conversations. It also offers verified photos – brilliant to ensure that the person is who they say they are. It also has an intelligent way of matching you to like-minded people by asking you to fill out three of your interests. It’s all quite old school but we love it.
Squirt.org
Rude and lewd and if you like that, then Squirt is the place for you. You get 10 days for free and you can see a lot of guys in your ten days. The idea of this site is to hook up, cruise online and generally get your rocks off, it’s more like the dating app experience, but for your desktop and mobile.
By far one of biggest on the web is FabGuys, which has been entertaining the gays since 2010. It’s a British made website and has a verification system so you know you’re talking to real guys. It has a simple and easy to use looking website.
Getting your profile picture is so important – first impressions count.
Your dating profile picture is the first thing that other members will see of you, so take some time to get it right. We’ve put together some tips on what works and what doesn’t work for the perfect profile picture.
It goes without saying that your profile picture should be of you. We’re not fond of catfishing, fraud or just pictures of cartoon characters. You’re a real person, so a real picture of you is best.
Remember what they say first impressions can last a lifetime so make sure, when you’re choosing yours, that it reflects exactly how you want to portray yourself.
So here are our top tips:
Recent photos
Make sure your profile picture is recent. We’ve all heard the stories of people turning up to dates only to discover that the person they meet is a good ten years older than their profile photo. It’s a bit like trades description. People want to know who they are meeting – a trustworthy and honest person will have an up-to-date, recent picture of themselves. It’ll also help identify you if you guys actually meet in real life.
In my mind, this is how I imagine the closet to be. A crowded dim place, smelling of hay, stale clothes, and dried semen. Somewhere a dog had whimpered, but now fallen quiet having relieved itself. The warm stench of canine urine adds to the atmosphere. The silence is broken only by the notification sounds of mobile phones.
Once in this dank place, men stood shoulder to shoulder, but these days there is more space as most have one hand held high trying to get a signal on their mobile device. Where previously the darkness was only ever broken by someone “coming out” and leaving the door ajar, now there is the constant glimmer from various apps as men try to hook up.
Thirty years ago it was all so different. The rural closet of old, required an energy and commitment. Some might even say it was healthier; as before technology brought available cock through the electronic ether, men cruised and cottaged.
There was a community of nodding acquaintances. Friendships were created through the frequenting of a familiar hunting ground. Regulars were known and most visited at around the same time of the day and night, on their way to and from work, or perhaps walking the dog later at night.
Knowledge and warnings were shared of those who could be discrete, others who could not be trusted and some who engaged in unsafe acts. Some would come and go in total anonymity, their only desire being to purge themselves of an urge, by way of quick grope and fondle of another similarly excited.
The characters had nicknames such as Picnic Paul, or Coral Colin, the Raven, Whopper of a chopper, earned from bringing a sandwich and a flask, working at the local bookies, just watching and never playing and an endowment to behold.
There was a sense of camaraderie, people watched out for each other, and even cared to inquire if someone was not seen for a while, “Is he ill?”, “What’s the matter; cock gone soft?”, “Warned off by the Police”, and the worse thing of all that could happen?
“Prosecuted for importuning and named in the papers!”
The fellowship that was once synonymous with the male seeking like-minded company would often take up a whole evening for no reward. Then quite by chance, it could sometimes pay dividends with a little pleasure and relief. I remember being told it’s not what you get, for it does not last that long; it is more the thrill of the chase.
The meeting places of convenience by name and nature are mainly boarded up, demolished or converted to snack bars on the highways and byways. The cruising grounds are still there but now, a more aware public is suspicious of a man alone.
Not all change is for the best. Some if it although safer now lacks humanity, being so clinical, so antisocial and just seems to be nothing more than”a meat rack in the cloud.”
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
The research found Tinder users reported lower levels of satisfaction with their faces and higher levels of shame about their bodies. And users were also more likely to view their bodies as sexual objects.
This is hardly surprising given that Tinder’s “evaluative factors” have the potential to intensify preexisting cultural beauty ideals. The app’s “swipe right to dismiss” facility, along with the limited number of words a user can write on their profile means appearance take centre stage. In other words, the more conventionally attractive your photos are, the more likely you are to be clicked, swiped or hit upon by other users.
But whether men use Tinder or not, most will report dissatisfaction with some aspect of their appearance. This could be anything from height, body hair, muscularity, skin tautness, shoe size, penis size, facial symmetry, head hair amount and more. Sadly there are few areas of the body men do not find fault with.
The body beautiful?
Over the last few decades, boys’ and men’s appearances have come under increasing scrutiny. This is largely because in the 1980s businesses finally started exploiting a relatively untapped market: the appearance insecurities of men.
To demonstrate – today men are sold anti-cellulite cream for their pecs, hair transplants for their facial hair and “manscara” for their eyes. Then there are the boys’ action dolls that have gained muscle and lost body fat with each successive edition. Add this to the fact that 80% of the men featured in popular media such as Men’s Health magazine are of a muscular body build – with many of these models taking drastic measures in the weeks leading up to photos shoots to make sure they look lean.
These models also tend to have a full head of hair and symmetrical faces. The same goes for porn sites – where almost all of the men featured are equally ripped and stereotypically “handsome”.
Love your selfie. Shutterstock
It’s unsurprising then that boys today feel they are growing up in a world which focuses heavily upon their appearance. Of course, this is a problem that has plagued women and girls for decades. And in the way that this has impacted girls for so long, now this pressure is impacting on boys’ well-being. One recent study found almost one in five boys had resorted to diet pills, purging, skipping meals, steroids or tanning products to change their appearance.
White washing
But beyond appearance pressures, dating apps are doubly damaging because they often operate in a sphere where sexual racism is commonplace.
The dating app OKCupid recently analysed sexual racism among 1m of its male site users. The company found that compared to black, Asian or minority ethnic users, white users got more messages. White users were also found to be less likely to reply or match with users of a different race to themselves, and more likely to question interracial marriage.
Online dating comes with its own rules, preferences and prejudices. Shutterstock
Recent research from Australia also found that 15% of gay men on the dating app Grindr included sexual racism on their profiles. This was more likely to be the case if the profile user was white, and if the user held broader racist views.
I too have noticed gay men who write offensive terms that specify race preferences on their profiles – such as “Black=block”, “no gaysians” or even “no chocolate or rice”. In its terms and conditions, Grindr bans offensive speech. Which is in part why, three years ago, I started a Twitter account, @GrindrRacism to encourage Grindr to remove offensive profiles. Disappointingly Grindr has often been slow to act though – meaning sexual racism is still present on the app.
Dating elite
Of course apps aren’t the cause of racism around sexual preferences. Instead like appearance pressures, users are influenced by what’s going on in wider society. By not tackling those problems in society, however, – for example cracking down on offensive speech – apps can act as enablers for racism and insecurity.
Ultimately given that more people are using dating apps than ever before, they need to work for everyone – not just those who are “attractive” or white.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
So you’re out on a hot sizzling date with Bob from accounts (probably not called Bob and he probably doesn’t work in accounts). He’s the man of your dreams. He’s the one you dream about, to quote from a Whitney song.
So in order to nab yourself a second date here’s eleven things you should definitely NOT do…
Choose a restaurant for your first date
The best plan is to leave him wanting more. Drinks after work is a great option. Choose somewhere central to you both and somewhere public. The problem with dinner is that it’s long. If you suddenly realise halfway through your garlic bread starter that you’ve absolutely nothing in common with the fella in front of you – the reach to your chocolate sundae pud will feel as long as Cher’s career. Drinks mean you can make an escape after one if you need to – or extend if you’re loving it.
Drinks mean you can make an escape after one if you need to – or extend if you’re loving it.
Arrive late
Nothing is more annoying than someone arrives late. It’s disrespectful and could be a sign of being controlling. Obviously sometimes running late can’t be helped if that’s the case send him a quick text to say you’ll be there ASAP.
Keeping your phone on and checking Insta/Grindr/Texts/Snapchat
Leave the phone alone. There’s a real-life person sitting in front of you who wants to get to know you better.
Editor of THEGAYUK.com Jake Hook admitted, “I once went on a date with a guy who spent 45 minutes of our 1-hour lunch date on the phone ‘doing business deals’ in the other 15 minutes he told me that he had just undergone treatment for syphilis and texted someone else 10 times. He actually called later that day, to say he wanted to meet again… Needless to say, he was the catch I let slip away.”
Call him a DILF
You know what if the guy that sitting opposite you is a few years older than you, it’s probably not okay to call him a “Daddy” or DILF. Unless of course, he’s made it known that he wants that kind of relationship with you.
And while we’re on Daddy issues
Bestselling Bonkbuster author Rebecca Chance suggests not talking about your Daddy issues… On a first date, she advises, “Don’t talk about the terrible relationship you had with you Dad” and then, “talking about your therapy due to the above” is also a one-way ticket to dumpsville.
Hinting that your ex-had a big penis
Rebecca Chance, says talking about your ex, is a no-no… Especially talking about the size of his appendage. It will make him think that you’re not trustworthy. Keep it vague, keep it breezy. Remember there are always two sides to every story – yours is just one of them.
Bitching about your ex
For the same reasons for talking about his penis size. People looking for a relationship aren’t looking for a bitchy, hung-up-on-ex boyfriend. Clean your slate and start each relationship afresh.
Get political
They say there are three things you should stay clear of in conversation, Sex, Politics and religion, which, let’s face it is the only things worth talking about, however writer Matt Porter relives, “had a date once with someone and ended up as a debate about Brexit! Although even simply declaring an interest in Britain First would be enough to push me over the edge”.
Also, probs best not to talk about religion. Wait till the second or third…
Drink more than two drinks
It’s best not to be a complete drunk on your first date. Keep it classy.
Interrupting him
For god sakes let the man talk. Remember conversation is a two-way street.
Having the sex talk can help form trust, a bond and ultimately lead to great sex between the two of you.
To sex or not to sex
Is this a booty call or no? It’s likely that you’re aware of what kind of date this is, but if it’s a sex date, there’s a couple of rules. 1) If you’re going back to yours – make sure it’s tidy and smells nice. 2) Make sure you have lube and condoms to hand – even on your person… Check out our list of 9 things every guy needs in his bedside drawer. 3) Have the sex health chat upfront and talk about what you like and what you don’t. Talking about that kind of stuff can help form trust, a bond and ultimately lead to great sex between the two of you.
Looking for something to do this weekend – check out our quick guide…
London Queer Fashion show
£10.50 – £26.25
Okay, not quite the weekend, but on Wednesday 20th, in Hackney, the London Queer Fashion Show will be showcasing the most exciting designs and ideas from some of London’s brightest young stars. LQFS exhibits the greatest new talent, the people who know that gender exists beyond the binary, that clothing does not exist in male and female forms. The designers who are moving fashion forward to inspire and empower our city and society. LQFS gives visibility to the diversity within our community, helping to break down gender norms and show that the queer community follows no rules.
The Ivy Soho Brasserie will be hosting a Drag Queen Brunch on Sunday 17 September in celebration of London’s Fashion Week. Between 11 a.m. to 4 p.m, guests will be greeted and hosted by two fabulous drag queens – Tiffaney Wells and Adora Dix – to ignite their brunching experience.
The Ivy Soho Brasserie’s brunch menu will feature an array of The Ivy Collection classic dishes such as chicken Milanese, hot buttermilk pancakes and the melting chocolate bombe. Tiffaney Wells and Adora Dix will be the Maître D’ for the day and will ensure an experience with vibrant entertainment to excite and engage guests throughout their meal.
London, UK – 13 September 2017– E! Entertainment Television – NBCUniversal International Network’s (NBCUIN) channel dedicated to pop culture – is celebrating 10 years ofKeeping Up With The Kardashiansby giving fans an immersive experience of the show with the launch of aFREEtwo day event –“E! Celebrates 10 Years of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.”
Opening its doors at London’s iconic Saatchi Gallery on 22-23rdSeptember, the event brings to life everything you know and love about television’s longest running docu-series, Keeping Up With The Kardashians,over two days of unmissable experiences including: ultimate selfie opportunities, make-up masterclasses and more, to ensure that ultimate E! fans are “Keeping Up With The Kardashians.” The event is an absolute must for all super-fans of the show. FREEtickets for the exclusive event are limited and available on a first-come-first-serve basis fromwww.seetickets.com/go/kuwtk
King’s Head Theatre
£22.50
London is very fortunate to have a theatre like the King’s Head because of its repertoire of gay-themed shows. And now it’s in the middle of presenting its LGBT Festival with the showcase of a new play called Outlaws to In-Laws.
Outlaws to In-Laws attempts, successfully, to depict the experiences of gay men over the last seven decades. And while it’s a subject that would be daunting for any theatre, or playwright, involved, the seven playwrights who wrote the seven shows that cover seven decades of gay life do their darnedest to both entertain and educate the audience.
Outlaws to In-Laws is now playing at The King’s Head Theatre until September 23.
Go shopping for Vintage Gear
Free
The famed retro market, Dusty Fingers Market is Hitting Dalston and is going canalside for one weekend. Make your way to Hertford Road, Haggerston to get your mitts on some vintage gear.
Looking for something to do this weekend – check out our quick guide…
Keep it Kings Cross
Free (before 10 PM) + drinks
Fancy seeing some traditional drag head on over to Central Station in Kings Cross – a camp little haven awaits you as drag queen Lizzy Drip takes to the stage at 10:30 PM. There’s free entry before 10:00 PM and £5 after. The Kings Cross area once had a buzzing gay scene, with a number of nights or venues, and although the area is being redeveloped with expensive restaurants, hipster hangouts and extortionate housing costs, Central Station remains an uncomplicated, honest, fairly priced option. Hell, you can still get a glass of white for £3.70! Serves food. 37 Wharfdale Road, Kings Cross, London N1 9SD, 020 7278 3294
Blooming great pre-drinks
Free + drinks
If you’re looking for something a little different to drag, then visit the underground, uber cool New Bloomsbury Set. Great prices and a 10-minute walk from Central Station – the perfect jump off before you head off clubbing…
Go East
Free + drinks
For something a little edgier venture to Shoreditch – where the only label that matters is: “attitude free”. Take in the sights and sounds at Homodrop, the camp as f*ck disco at Dalston Superstore. And it’s free to get in. 117 Kingsland High St, E8 2PB.
Pick Up The Soap
£££
Of course, if you fancy something a little more sexy and soapy, try the Foam Party at Sweatbox in Soho. The party is never ending with a 24-hour pass costing £17 or a 48-hour pass costing £19. 1-2 Ramilies Street, Soho, W1F 7LN.
Temping Tate
Free
Get lost in the epic Tate Modern gallery and marvel at the sheer scale of the Turbine room.
Be a cultured gay and head off to the Tate Modern on the ever so romantic South Bank. Take the walk from Embankment Station – cross the footbridge – walk past the Royal Festival Hall and the National Theatre – and hold hands. No one will blink an eye lid. It’s all very chill. There are plenty of exhibitions on at the Tate Modern including, Voices and Media Networks. You must, of course, whilst you’re there, go and see Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Diptych.
The Thames
Free
Whilst you’re out and about around the Thames, artist Jason Bruges has created a light installation to shine on the Sea Containers building – a little further up from the Tate Modern. The design of the lighting reflects the water quality – according to the Thames water data. The display is a permanent fixture to help spread awareness about the quality of water in the Thames.
A bite in Soho
£££
Some New York cool right in the centre of London. Grab a cocktail and relax.
The gay epicentre of London is in Soho – this is where the highest number of LGBT+ spaces exist. However, for food, you should check out Dirty Bones on Denman Street – right next to the Piccadilly Theatre. Dirty Bones the restaurant categorises itself as New York comfort food and cocktails, well it’s that and more.
Car Boot Sale
£
Will you be able to pick up a bargain at the Kings Cross car boot? From 10 AM on both Saturday and Sunday.
I mean it’s definitely an unusual idea for a date… but if you’ve got a new BF this might be the perfect place to really discover what kind of guy he really is… They say you can tell a lot about a man by what he’s got in his basket – so to speak. There’s a car boot in Kings Cross, in Granary Square, from 10 AM and on Sunday from 10 AM. Just £5 to get in.
Skinny Dipping?
£2 (day ticket)
Located in North London is the Hampstead Heath Ponds, three large freshwater swimming ponds that are popular for same sex and mixed couples alike. For centuries people have been coming to the ponds for a relaxing dip in the waters. Catch the last of the summer heat and take your partner to the ponds and have some wet fun. Let your playful side come out while enjoying an athletic dip. You must wear trunks in the water… but you know… once you’re in… who could possibly tell if you quickly slipped them off!
It’s so easy isn’t it… being totally basic on a dating app – we’ll here are five tips on how not to come across a complete pratt on Grindr.
Do… Use your best pic
Dig deep into your Facebook tagged photos and find a nice when in the sun with a cocktail and a decent backdrop. If you’re stuck for choice, perhaps do what every other Grindr user does and take a selfie in the mirror of your local gym changing room. That way, at least everyone knows you keep fit.
Don’t…immediately send a dick pic.
Striking up a conversation via a picture of your penis is like Victoria Beckham singing – sin against nature. Sending a blurry photo of your willy is not going to make anyone think “Let’s go Prezzo”. If you, for whatever reason, have an urgent need to send one, do it after at least a day of conversation and, as with your profile picture, make sure it is the best it could be. I’m talking about the right angle and the right filter – no one wants a photo with dodgy lighting.
Do…be grammatically correct.
“Hello, how are you?” sounds far better than “hey, u alrite?” so make sure to use your best grammar when trying to secure a date or even a bit of fun. No one is going to be enticed to have sex with you when you chat like a 14-year-old on MSN.
Don’t…slate gays in your bio.
“I like my men to be men”; “straight acting guys only; “if I can’t see your eyebrows then I don’t want to see you”. When devising your bio, try not to come across as a wanker. Some gay men decide to be their own enemy and it doesn’t exactly scream, “date me”.
Do…wear a condom.
Let’s be honest – most gay dating apps amount to anonymous sex with someone you’ve never met before and don’t really know much about except for the size of their penis so, let’s be clear, condoms are absolutely essential.
First dates are much like The Kooples’ mid-season sale – it’s never certain you’ll be taking something home.
Whether you were squiffed out of your brain and sucked faces with a hottie while throwing shapes at East Bloc and swapped numbers, or, you woke up to discover a mystery chap in ya boudoir after a Cinzano-fuelled bender and feel the need to meet again. Or a pal has the perfect match for you and sets up a blind date. And let’s not forget Grindr, Tinder, or Scruff to name but a few.
1) Two-drink rule
Never meet for dinner on the first date – drinks only. If you’re staring into the eyes of Ryan Gosling and your sides hurt from his witty repartee – great, go and fill ya Paul Smith dip-dyed black-leather Claude-boots. You don’t want to be stuck in a situation where your date is as scintillating as Lewis Hamilton and you have to painfully watch him devour a couple of courses before you can scarper. Buy a round each, then off you toddle.
2) Have an early morning excuse up your sleeve
Nowadays, with smartphones, everyone’s David Bailey. You can filter, crop and enhance any snap taken on your iPhone or Android. A lot of men seem to have mastered this art: you think you’re meeting David Gandy and you end up sitting opposite David Hasselhoff. So come prepared for such a situation. If you’re faced with the Hoff, drop into the conversation early on that you’ve an important dawn’s crack meeting, a 7 AM military-style personal training session or you’re having your genital warts removed first thing. The two-drink rule, then you’re out of there.
3) Finishing the job properly
You’ve executed the two-drink rule, the blind date organised by your chum wasn’t your cup of Manuka honey and Rooibos, and said date has a twitch in is trousers every time he thinks about you. After the night in question arrives the text: “Great to meet you, let’s do it again.” If you’re not interested, don’t string him along with ambiguous messages – and certainly never ignore, that’s just rude. A simple few words: “Lovely to meet you, you’re a really nice guy, but for me, no chemistry – have fun at your second-cousin-twice-removed’s wedding x”.
Job done.
Follow these three and you’ll avoid long evenings better spent watching QVC, plucking your nose hair or texting guys you don’t really fancy because your Grindr’s gone quiet.
Ultimately given that more people are using 
