The latest news from the world of sexual health. Everything you needed to know about gay sexual health. If you’ve got a question don’t forget to ask our experts.
So if you’re new to bottoming or you’re just looking some tips on to how to make it easier, here’s some tips
You on top.
This position is normally called the Cowboy. The best way to control how far your partner goes in is with you on top. With you on top you can also control the speed of the thrusts – or limit them altogether. You can be in complete control of the movement, because your partner’s range of movement will be limited.
Your hand in the way.
So if you’re tired with the cowboy position you can try all manner of other positions, but try this trick. If your partner is just too long for you, you can put your hand in the way. So imagine putting his penis through your fist and then into you. That eliminates around 3 inches of his actual length. The “top” partner shouldn’t really feel any less pleasure- especially if you lube up the inside of your palm.
As you get more accustomed you can change the fist into a V shape made from your index and middle finger in front of your butthole.
Another range limiting position is the spooning position, where you lie on your side and your partner comes in from behind also lying on his side. To limit the range of thrust close your legs – as you get used to the feeling of him inside you, you can start to open your legs more.
Spending some time by yourself – prepping can actually help loosen you up. If you’re comfortable douching that will definitely get your butt more relaxed. You can try with a shower head, however, you must be careful of water pressure and the heat of the water – or with an actual douche.
Prep can also come in the guise of using a little dildo or vibrator that you can have some fun with before the main event. You could even have two one small and one larger for when you get a little more relaxed.
Prelube yourself.
After prepping yourself, why not pre-lube yourself. Don’t just wait before you’re actually in the moment, you could try using a thicker butter lube like the Male Cobeco Butter lube or even Crisco. Using your finger take a blob of the butter and put it right inside you. However using a butter lube might not be suitable to use with latex condoms – always check the packaging for instructions.
Tell Him STFD
In the end it’s your body and your butt. If you’re not happy TELL HIM. Or as we like to say… Slow The F*** DOWN. There’s no need to rush and you should take your time. Be sensitive to your body and let go at your pace.
As always lots of lube… and condoms!
Have you got tips – put them in the comments below!
1) He needs to do more than just wash while showering.
“The cause of the odor is in the skin so just washing off the goop isn’t going to completely eliminate the smell. He has to keep himself clean enough so that it doesn’t build up in the first place.”
2) Proper cleaning.
“Foreskin should be pulled back completely. He should rinse every part of the glans with his fingers and water. Rub away the smegma/residue.” salem2474
3) Stop using soap
“This part will be controversial, but….I stopped using soap. Like, nowhere on my body. And my odour improved. Other people who have tried no soap have reported the same thing.” salem2474
4) Sugar monster
Could sugar be your problem?
“I neglected to add diet. I mostly cut out sugar. I’ve noticed if I ever go on a binge, there will be a temporary increase in odour/smegma just afterwards.”
5) Get hard in the shower
“I also know how easy it is to fix. tell him he needs to get hard in the shower, and once his forskin [sic] is stretching back, rub it with his fingers, he’ll be able to see how much white film is caked there (You really cant clean it soft) sugarantssuck
6) Are you able to retract?
“Is it difficult for you to pull back when soft? That could actually indicate something like phimosis. You’re supposed to be able to fully retract it while soft.”
This week a reader is concerned about little whiteheads on his ball bag. We ask Medical Director Dr Nitin Shori from Pharmacy2U whether it’s something to be concerned about.
Dear TGUK
I noticed that I have a few little whiteheads on my ball bag. They are tiny – maybe a few millimetres big.
They don’t hurt and they’ve been there for as long as I can remember.
I know this is gross but you can squeeze the little whiteheads – and a little bit of stringy white stuff comes out of them, when you do that. The pus or whatever it is doesn’t smell. I pop a few now and then in the bath – and sometimes a couple more appear a week later.
Are they normal? Should I stop squeezing? Is it something to be worried about?
Ben, Somerset
Hi Ben
You can get rashes on your testicles as you can any other part of your skin that are caused by anything from blocked pores to allergies or heat irritation.
If anything, this area is a bit more sensitive so treat it with care. Shaving can often cause symptoms like yours. Could this be a factor? Have you had break outs anywhere else? Are you using a new body-wash or even a new washing powder that could be causing a reaction?
Also, the weather has been humid lately and this can cause rashes through sweating. You need to ensure you wash regularly and properly dry yourself before dressing as rashes love moist, damp places! If you shave you need to keep the area clean afterwards.
Rashes can be a sign of a sexually transmitted disease (STD) but from what you describe it doesn’t sound likely. However, if it doesn’t clear up, do go and see your GP or local GUM clinic just to make sure. The majority of STDs can be treated quickly and efficiently the earlier they are diagnosed, so even if it is that I wouldn’t worry unduly at this stage. You can also get an STD testing kit online if you just want to put your mind at rest and rule that out.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
There’s a new report out to show that 36 per cent of new sexually transmitted diseases were attributed to one age demo.
CREDIT: bigstock / Rawpixel.com
Public Health England have warned that too many young people (15-24) are practicing unsafe sex as sexually transmitted diseases in that age group continue to sky rocket. Thirty-six per cent of new infections in 2015 were found in those aged just 15 to 24, with young Londoners at the epicentre of the sexual health crisis.
Since 2011 diagnoses of syphilis and gonorrhoea in 15 to 24 year olds in London have soared 128 per cent and 61 per cent respectively.
In 2015 those aged 15 to 24 living in the capital made up 36% of all new STI diagnoses; with gonorrhoea, chlamydia, genital warts, genital herpes and syphilis all being diagnosed.
RISES from 2011 to 2015
Syphilis: 128%
Gonorrhoea: 61%
Chlamydia: – 5%
Genital herpes: 4%
Although the number of reported STIs dropped by four per cent from 44,283 in 2011 to 42,457 this was accounted by the drop in new Chlamydia infections – which fell from 24,017 to 22,891.
Dr Yvonne Doyle, regional director for PHE London, said,
“These figures show that too many young people in London are continuing to have unsafe sex, putting themselves at unnecessary risk of contracting STIs.
“Young Londoners are one of the groups we know are at increased risk of experiencing poor sexual health, along with men who have sex with men (MSM) and black ethnic minorities.
“Young people tend to have more sexual partners and are more likely to have unsafe sex. These factors mean they are at increased risk of contracting STIs and becoming re-infected.
“Working closely with young Londoners and other at risk groups is vital to deliver effective public health interventions and improve their sexual health outcomes.”
Dr Patrick French, a sexual health specialist and genitourinary medicine consultant at The Mortimer Market Centre, Central and North West London NHS Foundation Trust, said,
“Today’s report highlights that too many young people in London continue to be disproportionately affected by STIs.
“To reduce infections among this at-risk group access to good quality preventative, testing and treatment services is vital. They must also be welcoming and open to overcome any worries or embarrassment young age people might have about going to clinic.
“I still regularly see young people in clinic with newly diagnosed STIs, who struggled to find the right service for testing and treatment. Developing and strengthening easily accessible sexual health services for young people in London must be a priority.”
Are you worried about your sexual health but are too afraid to go to the doctor – speak to our expert team, use the box below confidentially. For more details on how we use your information click here.
This week a reader asks whether it’s safe to use certain fruit and veg to spice things up in the bedroom.We ask our writers for their thoughts…
Dear TGUK
My boyfriend and I are quite adventurous when it comes to the bedroom and we’re wondering whether we could use fruit and veg and other foods as part of our activities? Is it dangerous to insert things like cucumbers and carrots?
Paulo,
Dear Paulo,
Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.
Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint. To answer your question about carrots and cucumbers, extreme caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or give good grip. Many people have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot lodged in their rectums. A painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.
Oh did I say use lots of lube…
If you’re looking to insert a food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.
It’s best to use implements that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.
If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must. Oh did I say use lots of lube…
Got a sex health question use the form below to get in touch
This week a nervous reader asks Pharmacy2U’s Medical Director Dr Nitin Shori about some pains he’s been getting in his testes.
Dear TGUK I sometimes get aches in my left ball. I’ve done a check for lumps but haven’t found anything odd – or unusual. There’s been no blood in my pee or cum. The pain is like a dull ache that goes from the bottom of my balls to the pit of my stomach. It doesn’t last very long. Because it doesn’t happen all the time I haven’t been to the doctors about it, but wondering if I should.
Paddy, Dublin
Hi Paddy
Re-occurring pain anywhere is a reason to get checked and you should see your GP for an examination. It could be something entirely benign or something more serious although from what you say you don’t have other symptoms.
These are:
A new hard lump on the testicle
Swelling or enlargement of a testicle
An increase in firmness of a testicle
An unusual difference between one testicle and the other
However there is no harm in being on the safe side and ruling this out by visiting your GP or GUM clinic and if it is anything serious, the earlier it’s caught the more effective the treatment. If you get a significant acute pain that persists in either your testicle or abdomen, you should see your doctor for urgent review.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
This week a concerned reader is worried that one of his balls is hanging lower than the other. Medical Director from Pharmacy2U, Dr Nitin Shori, takes a look at what could be wrong.
Dear TGUK I’ve got one ball hanging lower than the other – I’ve not noticed whether other guys are the same, because our school has separate shower cubicles – so I don’t know – and I’m still a virgin. Is there something wrong with me? Should one ball hang lower than the other, I’m quite worried about it.
John, 15, Glasgow
Dear John,
It’s quite common for one testicle to be bigger than the other and also for one testicle to hang lower than the other one.
You’re 15 as well and males go through puberty between 12 and 16, reaching full physical maturity at around 18, so it may also be that you’re still developing.
In any case, it’s normal to feel a bit anxious and unsure of what is and isn’t ‘normal’ while you’re growing and your body is changing.
Testicles should feel smooth, without any lumps or bumps, and firm but not hard. You may feel a soft tube at the back of each testicle, which is called the epididymis.
What we advise men to look out for is changes in their testicles such as swellings, lumps or bumps that weren’t there before as this can be a sign of testicular cancer and this is why doctors advise you to check your testicles regularly.
If you’re still concerned and want to talk to someone confidentially, then your GP is a good starting point.
We’ve teamed up with the UK’s leading online pharmacy, Pharmacy2U, to answer all your health and sexual questions.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
Startling statistic show that gay and bisexual men are taking huge risks with their health as they make up 90 per cent of syphilis cases in London.
(C) BIGSTOCK
A new report released by Public Health England (PHE) shows that the rate of syphilis diagnoses is three times higher among Londoners than anywhere else in England. In 2015 nearly 3,000 cases were diagnosed in the capital, accounting for 56% of all cases in England (5,042).
Syphilis, like other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), is transmitted through sexual activity including oral sex. Most cases of syphilis are treatable with antibiotics and it is preventable through safe sex practices which include using condoms, regularly being tested and avoiding overlapping sexual relationships.
With cases of syphilis continuing to increase in recent years (since 2010 cases among Londoners have soared by 163%) PHE is raising awareness of syphilis and reminding Londoners to practice safe sex, which prevents infection.
Syphilis has been diagnosed in all 33 London local authorities and in 2015 most saw an increase in numbers. Cases of syphilis have been reported among heterosexuals and gay and bisexual men. However gay and bisexual men are disproportionately affected by the infection. Despite representing around 2% of the London population, in 2015 gay and bisexual men made up 90% of all syphilis cases. This group has seen an 18% increase in cases from 2014 to 2015 alone.
This continued rise in syphilis cases in the capital suggests that too many Londoners are putting themselves at risk through unsafe sex.
Although most cases of syphilis are treatable with antibiotics, people can be infected and not show any symptoms for years; treatment is more effective the earlier syphilis is diagnosed and so more awareness is needed around the infection.
Syphilis progresses through three main stages. Primary syphilis infection will often present about three to four weeks after someone has been infected with the bacteria and individuals may develop a painless ulcer or rash (lasting for three to six weeks) on the genitals, rectum or inside the mouth, which people can fail to notice straight away. The infection then develops into the secondary stage causing fever, headaches and night sweats (among others). If left untreated it can progress into latent and late-stage syphilis. This stage of the STI is characterised by more serious and damaging health complications including cardiovascular problems and central nervous disease; it can even be fatal.
Dr Yvonne Doyle, regional director for PHE London, said:
“Worsening sexual health remains one of the biggest public health concerns facing London and it is worrying to see such alarming rises in syphilis year-on-year. Most cases of syphilis are treatable with antibiotics and it is preventable if you practice safe sex.
“We are seeing large increases in cases of syphilis among men who have sex with men and they now represent 90% of syphilis cases in London. Although diagnoses among heterosexuals in the capital are more stable they too continue to be higher than we would like given the effective preventative measures in place.
“In London we have excellent open access sexual health services providing free STI testing and treatment, notification for the sexual partners of those diagnosed with an STI and free provision of contraception. With these services available across the capital there is no reason for people to be taking unnecessary risks with their sexual health.
“I hope today’s report will further raise awareness of sexually transmitted infections including syphilis and drive home the messages about the importance of practising safe sex, which includes using condoms, regularly being tested and avoiding overlapping sexual relationships. All of these will reduce the risk of STIs.
“Improving the sexual health of Londoners is a priority area for PHE London and we will continue to work with partners across the healthcare system to reduce the burden of poor sexual health in the capital.”
Dr Patrick French, a sexual health specialist and genitourinary medicine consultant at Central and North West London NHS Foundation Trust, said,
“When I started working in sexual health in London we might have diagnosed four or five people with syphilis in a year; we can now see that number of people with syphilis in a day or two.
“Syphilis has established itself as a major problem in London among men who have sex with men, but there is now a considerably smaller but worrying rise among heterosexuals.
“The increase we are seeing in syphilis and other sexually transmitted infections is a marker of a more general problem within sexual health and tackling this must be a priority across London. More awareness is needed around STIs, how they can be prevented and why it is important to have a check-up if you think you are at risk. Anyone having sex with new or casual partners should always use condoms and have regular sexual health checks.”
PHE recommendations for safe sex
Anyone who suspects they may have syphilis should get screened at their local sexual health clinic as soon as possible.
Consistent and correct condom use, reducing the number of sexual partners and the avoidance of overlapping sexual relationships all reduce the risk of acquiring Sexually Transmitted Infections.
For people in the highest risk groups, getting screened regularly will lead to early diagnosis and treatment, which is vital as some STIs can be symptomless.
PHE recommendations for safe sex among gay and bisexual men.
Have an HIV and STI screen at least annually and every three months if you are having unprotected sex with casual or new sexual partners.
Always use a condom correctly and consistently, and until all partners have had a sexual health screen.
Reduce the number of sexual partners and avoid overlapping sexual relationships.
Unprotected sex with partners believed to be of the same HIV status (serosorting) is unsafe. For the HIV positive person, there is a high risk of acquiring other STIs and hepatitis. For the HIV negative person, there is a high risk of acquiring HIV infection as well as acquiring STIs and hepatitis.
As STI infections soar in gay and bisexual men across the UK, a poll released by GMFA shows that a staggering 39 per cent of gay and bisexual men are having unprotected sex.
Nearly 40 per cent of gay and bisexual men are having unprotected anal sex the majority of the time. A poll by GMFA has revealed that condom usage has “slipped back” since the early days of HIV and the height of the AIDS epidemic.
Of the 40 per cent that have unprotected sex 49 per cent of them identified their relationship status as single, dating or in an open relationship.
Despite the lack of protection nearly half of those surveyed also stated that they do in fact worry about STI infections and becoming infected with HIV.
Matthew Hodson [outgoing CEO] of GMFA said,
“Condom use has slipped back a little since the early days of HIV, partly because HIV is no longer a death sentence, and partly because we’re not seeing the same investment in sexual health that we saw a decade ago. With resources deployed to promote condoms and sexual health, encourage testing, challenge stigma, ensure that all gay men are well educated about HIV prevention and PrEP provided, we could end HIV within a generation.”
The latest issue of GMFA’s FS examines the current state of sexual health of gay and bi men in the UK. According to the editor, Issue 155 takes an honest look at how much unprotected sex they are actually having, and asks the question: do we need to rethink HIV prevention?
Ian Howley, [incoming Interim CEO] of GMFA believes that relationship status has to be taken into account,
“We know that the majority of gay and bisexual men use condoms some of the time. There is an idea out there that everyone doesn’t use condoms, and for a lot of people who responded to this survey this is the case. But many of these men are in long term relationships, or are married/civil partnered or said they were in a monogamous relationship. When you look at these stats, it’s only a small percentage of gay men, who are having lots of unprotected anal sex, who are at a high level of risk.”
This week a reader asks about PrEP, what it does, where to get it and if it’s available on the NHS.
Pharmacy2U’s Clinical Governance Pharmacist Phil Day answers the PrEP question.
Dear TGUK
I’ve heard that there’s a drug that can stop me from getting HIV – Where can I get this? Is it available on the NHS? I’ve been using condoms but sometimes it can really kill the moment. I wanted to know if there’s an easier way to protect myself.
Tom
Dear Tom,
While advances in medicine mean that most people living with HIV are now unlikely to contract AIDS, you should still always wear a condom. They also provide protection against a number of other Sexually Transmitted Diseases, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis.
Have you tried experimenting with some different rubbers and lubes? There’s a vast choice and manufacturers have invested millions into making condoms that can actually enhance your fun as well as protect you. If you’re shy, there’s a great range online as well as in the shops.
You can always put a condom on in advance if you think you’re going to have sex so that it doesn’t interrupt proceedings, or make it part of the sex session by putting them on each other. It’s also wise to use them if you’re just sticking to oral sex.
But to answer your question on Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, it is a drug treatment protocol using a prescription medicine called Truvada, and has been shown in a recent trial to be highly effective in preventing HIV in gay and bisexual men, when taken daily and used in combination with other infection prevention measures.
Truvada contains two medicines (tenofovir and emtricitabine) and is already routinely used in combination with other medicines to treat existing HIV infection.
The US Food and Drug Administration has approved Truvada’s use by people at very high risk of HIV infection. Despite trials of Truvada in a number of cities, the NHS is not currently planning to make PrEP available on prescription in the UK, leading to anger and frustration among campaigners.
Truvada is available from a small number of private clinics in the UK and is expensive. People should only ever take medicines prescribed by a UK-registered GP and dispensed by a UK-registered pharmacy.
The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.
Figures released by PHE today show that in total there were 434,456 sexually transmitted infections reported in England in 2015. Well over 10 per cent of those (54, 275) were from gay and bisexual men. The greatest impact age group for those presenting sexual transmitted infections is within the 25 and under age bracket.
The increase of 54,275 gay and bisexual men reporting sexual transmitted infections represents a 10 per cent increase on 2014’s statistics.
Overall there was a small decrease, around three per cent, in reports for the entire population, but gay and bisexual men bucked that trend.
Dr Gwenda Hughes, head of STI surveillance at PHE said,
“The new statistics show STI rates are still very high among gay men and young adults.
“We need to do more to raise awareness about STIs and how they can be prevented, especially the effectiveness of using condoms. We recommend that anyone having sex with a new or casual partner uses condoms and tests regularly for HIV and STIs. It is also vital to ensure there is easy access to STI testing and treatment services that meet the needs of local populations.”
The PHE have reiterated their advice for sexually active men, suggesting,
Consistent and correct use of condoms can significantly reduce risk of infection and regular testing for HIV and STIs is essential for good sexual health.
Anyone under 25 who is sexually active should be screened for chlamydia annually, and on change of sexual partner. Gay and bisexual men should test annually for HIV and STIs and every 3 months if having condomless sex with new or casual partners.
