Don't even...

Even if you’re swinging from chandeliers or getting so freaky in bed that even Marilyn Manson wants out, there are still rules about what and what not to say to your partner.

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These guys on Reddit have shared the funniest and worst things they’ve ever been called during sexytime. The post opens with a story from a guy who reveals that after a few hours (!!!!) of sex, the guy who was topping him calls him a “pillow-biting pufta”. The result was an immediate loss of erection and fits of laughter and coughing. It turns out he’d ever heard of the word pufta or the term “pillow biting”. Some of us lead such sheltered lives, don’t we?

Well, the top also then snorted with laughter and what with the poppers and pot they had been taking – sex ended for the night.

When he relayed the story to a friend, his friend told of an even worse moment, when the guy he was topping, looked at him directly in the eye (they were in missionary) and said “Aww yeah man! Pack that fudge!”

… I mean WTF.

This obviously got the boys on the thread talking. Here are some of the worse / funniest things that someone has said during sex.

Whispering sweet nothings or something that’s a total turn off? Wavebreak-Media-Ltd-bigstock

“Daddy, I was 29″ (Via)

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I have a big bootie and a guy once was topping me and he suddenly slapped my butt and said: “Look at the size of those baps! McDonald’s would be jealous! The worst part is that after sex he gave me 10 bucks and told me to get myself a sandwich or something” (via)

“Daddy.” That fucking floored me. He was a young man I’d been dating/fucking for a few months, and out of nowhere he suddenly called me “Daddy” during sex one day. I was literally old enough to be his father, but there was no lead-up to this, and no indication that he had a daddy fetish. But, then: “Fuck me, Daddy!” That brought things to a crashing halt for me.”

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I lost the mood because of something a guy said during sex was many years earlier with another young man. I was in the middle of fucking him when he started saying “I wish I was a woman so I could have your baby.” Did THAT ever kill the mood! (via)

What are some of yours? Use the comments below

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