We love a hotel room. No we do. Fresh sheets, little bottles of product and a minibar on company expenses. What’s not to like but there are five things you should totally, utterly not touch in a hotel room.

Like ever. Especially if you don’t want to get ill.

The TV remote.

Want to turn off that welcome screen with that “relaxation” musak when you enter your room for the first time? You might want to get an anti-bac hand wipe before you touch that remote. Think about it. Hundreds of people have probably touched that remote – after they’ve been to the toilet, post sex – eek. Just disgusting. Given the fact that most housekeepers are given a ridiculously small amount of time per room to clean, the remote is often over-looked. Time and time again bacterial tests on hotel TV remotes have shown that there are often faecal residues left over. Yuck.

The bedside phone.

What’s better than a post-bonk midnight feast – apart from falling asleep. Chances are if you’re feeling peckish after a midnight booty call – yes, you’ve guessed it, people call Room Service, using that bedside phone. And they’re using fingers that have just been inserted somewhere very clammy and damp. Phones are teeming with bacteria, often blasting the acceptable limits of bacteria.

The blanket at the end of the bed.

Just imagine the number of people who have sat naked, had sex on it or put their luggage on that decorative blanket at the end of the bed. Apparently, it’s one of the least washed items in your room. So don’t touch. Just don’t. A report from CNN suggested that bedspreads don’t get ‘thrown in with the sheets for a daily wash.”

The thermostat.

Feeling hot? That thermostat on the wall is most probably overlooked during the daily clean of a hotel room. Big-name hotel chains usually give their rooms a deep clean every quarter. So in between those deep cleans think about the number of fingers that have touched that dial. There are up to 66 days in a quarter. If the hotel is operating at near full occupancy and there are two people staying in a room there could be well over 100 people touching that dial.

The sofa.

If you’ve sat on the sofa naked or even had sex on it then you can bet your life that scores of other people have to – and a sofa just isn’t that easy to clean, regularly anyway. Tests have shown that stains that aren’t visible to the naked eye are all over those hotel sofas and chairs. Those stains include: blood, semen and even faeces. Just. Why. Would. You.

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