Penis problems
Penis problems
CREDIT: Ocskay Mark bigstock

It’s something most guys look at, touch and maybe have a little play with everyday and, for some, we have often pondered, “what if I were a little bigger down there?” Well a quick search of Amazon will soon show you that there’s help at hand for growing those extra inches and it wont burst your bank! So to speak. We guarantee that top medical professionals, had we asked them, would agree that the only thing these items are going to raise is a smile!

© Amazon

1. Magnetic Underwear! £11.90  

That’s right folks. Use the power of magnets to slowly grow your little… (Insert pet name here – and we don’t mean your cat!)… an extra 15% in just 45 days of wearing. Though one might suggest that wearing the same pants for 45 days will have a negative effect of using that extra length on someone special! Plus with all those magnets in your pants you’d want to steer clear of the fridge! That would be an embarrassing phone call to the fire brigade as they have to prise you off.    BUY HERE

© Amazon

2. Penis Enlargement Fund Tin. £8.00

In this age of hand to mouth living it’s quite likely that most of us are finding it difficult to save for holidays, homes or new cars. However, if you do have some pennies left at the end of the week then this handy tin will help you save up for that all important operation. Of course, you may find it quicker to get a rise by withdrawing your £1.48 savings and buying the boyfriend a surprise bar of chocolate!  BUY HERE

© Amazon

3. DIY Penis Enlargement Book. £2.32 (Kindle)

Perfect, read a book and get a bigger dick. What could be easier? I’ve read a few coffee table books in my time that have caused stirrings so maybe this will do the same… Oh, wait, no… I just read ‘How It Works’ in the preview. Apparently it’s all down to visualisation and un-tapping the mind’s potential to give you a bigger cock. It suggests if you’re fat you’ll always be fat because you think you are. So, if you only have 5” then you’ll always have 5” because that’s what you think you have… Funny, as I’ve always thought and told people I have 12” down there, but think it’s actually only 11”… ahem.  BUY HERE

© Amazon

4. Rock Hard Cream. £3.30 

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I was going to steer clear of the pills and potions for ultimate arousal but this sturdy looking product caught my eye. I mean, for just over three quid it’s worth a punt right? The reviews say otherwise. A collection of one star complaints of “Totally Useless” and “Rubbish” were often used, though there was some 3 star luck from Ricky B who said, “Wife a bit disappointed, but the boyfriend loved it!” – which could suggest that the solution to arousal is the bit on the side and not the bit in the tube! BUY HERE

© Amazon

5. Willy Weights Work Out. £4.79

I’ve seen these before and maybe you have also, but this has to be one of my favourite gadgets for working out your man meat. I mean why just go to the gym and pump iron on your arms? Ok, I’ve never seen one of these used in a gym, sadly, but it did help me out many years ago when a friend bought me one for a gift and showed me how it works. I managed to raise it but had trouble putting it back down again! Thanks Willy Weights. BUY HERE

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Please note this article is just for fun and should anyone be suffering from willy woes or have questions ranging from size or erectile dysfunction then we do recommend contacting your doctor for professional advice. TheGayUK also runs a free sex clinic where you can ask our qualified Dr any issues, anonymously.

About the author: Aunty
The UK's bitchiest agony aunt. Send her your woes if you dare.