You spend a huge amount of time at work... nearly 100,000 of them over your working life. So if you're not into what you're doing, maybe it's time to move on!

You spend a huge amount of time at work… nearly 100,000 of them over your working life. So if you’re not into what you’re doing, maybe it’s time to move on!

You arrive exactly at shift start and leave exactly at shift end.

Time was when you arrived 15 minutes early and left way after the end of your shift. Now you’re like “nah”.


Emails and calls are not read after 5:00 PM.

That shiz can be left for another day. I don’t care if a report needs to be handed in at 9 AM tomorrow morning. It’ll have to wait until 9:15 AM when I’m in, at my desk and drinking my first cup of coffee.

You don’t bother to put on your OOO…

I’m outta here. Not spending another minute working out technical stuff.

You do put on your OOO but direct people to someone who is also OOO.

Annoying right? This is my life.

You give co-workers evils. Even when they are looking at you.

I hate you. Even your breathing offends me.

Work socials are out of the question.

Why oh why would I spend another minute with you people.

Time goes by so slowly… especially when your boss asks you to do something…

Tick tock.

You know how to just get by without being fired.

Imma gonna do just the least I can do…

You spend most of the day on Expedia planning the dream holiday.

One way trips are looking mighty enticing

Your mutual hatred of your boss keeps you in close company with other rebels at your work.

You’re living on hate and the tank is full.

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You’ve stopped being polite at meetings.

I mean what’s the point. You’re all going to ignore each other anyway.

Cutting corners is the cornerstone of your work ethic.

It saves time and heartache and who really cares anyway?

Your job has basically become searching for other jobs.

CVs written and rewritten and being sent as I type…

Redundancy has become your main career goal.

Please, please please.

You watch Apprentice and dream oh you dream…

Basically, I could do better and Lord Sugar looks like an easy boss compared to mine.

Dressing for success is a made up 90’s fallacy that you no longer adhere to.

Really Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex And The City can both go screw themselves with their impossible goals.

Office politics and drama is all you live for now.

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and fight…



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About the author: Jake Hook
The editor and chief of THEGAYUK. All in a previous life wrote and produced songs on multi-platinum records.