The do’s and don’t’s of gay dating apps…

what not to say on a gay app
CREDIT: GaudiLab/bigstock

Do… Use your best pic

Dig deep into your Facebook tagged photos and find a nice when in the sun with a cocktail and a decent backdrop. If you’re stuck for choice, perhaps do what every other Grindr user does and take a selfie in the mirror of your local gym changing room. That way, at least everyone knows you keep fit.

 

Don’t…immediately send a dick pic.

Striking up a conversation via a picture of your penis is like Victoria Beckham singing – sin against nature. Sending a blurry photo of your willy is not going to make anyone think “Let’s go Prezzo”. If you, for whatever reason, have an urgent need to send one, do it after at least a day of conversation and, as with your profile picture, make sure it is the best it could be. I’m talking about the right angle and the right filter – no one wants a photo with dodgy lighting.

 

Do…be grammatically correct.

“Hello, how are you?” sounds far better than “hey, u alrite?” so make sure to use your best grammar when trying to secure a date or even a bit of fun. No one is going to be enticed to have sex with you when you chat like a 14-year-old on MSN.

Don’t…slate gays in your bio.

 

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“I like my men to be men”; “straight acting guys only; “if I can’t see your eyebrows then I don’t want to see you”. When devising your bio, try not to come across as a wanker. Some gay men decide to be their own enemy and it doesn’t exactly scream, “date me”.

Do…wear a condom.

 

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Let’s be honest – most gay dating apps amount to anonymous sex with someone you’ve never met before and don’t really know much about except for the size of their penis so, let’s be clear, condoms are absolutely essential.

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Have you ever had your prostate massaged?