Gay men and women have played together since before Barbie and anal beads were invented.

There are the girls you don’t speak to or hangout with every week but you consider them your good pals. And there’s the ladies you can’t get off the blower. They’re glued to your Dsquared2, black leather biker jacket sleeve, and they fill in the gaps when there’s no love interest – your fruit fly, fag hag queen bee, flame dame or fairy princess.

Both have expectations!

The female friends you don’t see often.

Plus one

When said friend is invited to a wedding, bar mitzvah or social engagement you might be summoned to fill in as her plus one if she’s single. Be prepared to be dropped quicker than a bag of Whole Foods organic yams if she lays her hands on a ripped, Brazilian cage fighter.

Entertainer

Your scintillating repartee is one of the reasons she adores you, and why you’re invited to most of her soirees. You’re cheaper than a magician.

Sex advice

Who needs Cosmopolitan magazine for sex advice. You know how to handle said tool and you own one.

Advice

You’re her agony aunt. All gays are good listeners and they give the best advice.

The fully-fleged gay boy loving gals

All of the above plus extras.

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Plus one extra…

Your fruit fly will want to be invited to the opening of your sock drawer as well as a heavy, disco-ball-swinging night out at G-A-Y.

Number one

She’ll assume she’s your number one girl and should be made a priority in all situations. She could turn from pretty, perfectly preened princess into grouchy, green-eyed gremlin if this doesn’t happen.

Unrequited love

Gay boy loving gals require the same reassuring belly tickles, pettings and cuddles as your prized cockapoo.

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But let’s face it chaps, when the glass slipper is on the other immaculately pedicured tootsie, we demand just as much, probably more. We’re just a grand piano minus the candelabra without them.

Thank Liza for all our female chums.

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