Cumming too quickly is one problem that many many guys grapple with.
Did you know what you might consider ‘too quick’, might actually be completely normal? A study which looked at the average jizz time of 500 couples found that the average time of climax for the man was five minutes. So once all pistons are firing, don’t expect to last much longer than a few minutes – and that might be just okay.
It’s not always clear why premature ejaculation occurs, but it’s thought that there are a number of factors that could lie at the root of the problem. For example, it could be linked to a physical health issue, such as prostate or thyroid problems, or it could be linked to depression, stress and anxiety.
But if you’re aching to last a little longer there are some things you can do to make you go the distance.
First rule out anything medical.
As with anything to do with the body, if you’re worried, book an appointment with your doctor. There could be a number of medical reasons why you’re cumming too fast. According to the NHS website, the causes of premature ejaculation could be the symptom of a medical condition, from the prostate to thyroid issues.
Let’s face it, most of us practice a lot of self-loving. And that’s completely natural and okay. The only problem is that most of the time when we’re masturbating we’re not worried about the length of time we’re actually going at it. Therefore if you condition yourself to cum quickly that can transfer to sexual encounters with other people. So, next time you could try extending the time you spend alone with your dick, maybe even try edging, a technique in which you wank right up until the moment before you climax, stopping then starting again. So you don’t actually cum immediately.
Sometimes the feeling of being in his ass is just too good that it leads to you spaffing all too quickly. So desensitise the head of your penis. You can do this in a number of ways. You could wear a thicker condom. Or you could try a gel. You can check out delay sprays and gels from Amazon.
Also, try taking deep breaths when you’re on the verge of ejaculating as that briefly shuts down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs).
Pharmacy2U’s Clinical Governance Pharmacist Phil Day told us, “Use positions where you or your partner can pull out easily and quickly if the act of penetration is too stimulating”.
Changing positions also gives you a moment to get your breath and take a moment to calm yourself down.
Bland and Boring
Phil shared that “many sex therapists recommend adopting a ‘stop-start’ technique entailing taking breaks during sex and thinking about something bland and boring. The NHS also echoes that idea on its website, writing, “take breaks during sex and think about something boring”.
Have a wank an hour or two before you have sex
One of the ways to make sure you last a little longer than usual is masturbating an hour or two before you think you’re going to have sex. This will take the urgency out of the sex and should make you last longer. It might also make you less horny than if you had waited, but this is trial and error and it’s worth seeing if it works for you. Make sure you wash your dick thoroughly after you cum – if you don’t you might end up with a smelly end (smegma can form very quickly) and nobody wants that. Well, some guys do.
Medication in the form of tablets is also available to treat premature ejaculation in men who experience this regularly and where it causes distress and is usually taken one to three hours before having sex. You will need a prescription, which can be obtained from your own doctor or through a private consultation with an online GP.
As always communication is key to a happy sex life. If you’re concerned about your premature emissions, talk to your partner about it. See how they feel. You never know he might be completely happy with how’s all working out. If not then you can have a chat about how you change your sex to make things last a bit longer.
The resident Agony Uncle for THEGAYUK.com with over seven years of counselling experience with the LGBT+ community.