It’s there, first thing… like an overly eager TGI Friday’s server… waiting to take your order, but why do guys get erections first thing in the morning?
It’s just a part of life, you wake up and your little fella is already up – aching to be unleashed and go forth into the day, but why do we get these erections?
Here are five reasons you could be waking up with an erection every morning.
1) They aren’t actually morning erections
They are actually night-time ones, called Nocturnal Penile Tumescence. The average man, without erectile dysfunction, has around three to five full lob ons during the night according to the NHS website, each one lasting up to 35 minutes.
2) It’s thought to be caused by the REM (rapid eye movement) part of your sleep.
CREDIT: Dmytro-Sidelnikov-bigstock
The part of your brain that releases norepinephrine located in the locus coeruleus is switched off which could result in boners. The REM cycle tends to happen just before you wake up.
3) Testosterone levels are at their highest in the AM.
And that can be attached to how randy you feel. Although testosterone doesn’t cause your duvet pole, it could make you think naughty thoughts – which will lead to a stiffy.
4) Some people think it’s to stop you wetting the bed…
Peeing with a raging horn is more difficult so it can perhaps, some suggest, prevent bed-wetting, we’re not convinced.
5) Full bladder
A full bladder could be the reason you’re waking with a stonker. It can stimulate part of the spinal cord that could bring on a reflex erection.
Rimming if you’re not in the know is where one person (the rimmer) licks, sucks, kisses, penetrates their partner’s (rimmee) anus with their tongue. It’s also known as analingus.
It often forms part of the foreplay part of sex and can help the bottom to become more relaxed before anal sex. and isn’t unique to gay or bi men. Anyone with a butt or a tongue can do it.
There are a lot of people who absolutely love receiving it and giving it, or both, but it’s not for everyone.
Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.
If you’re on PrEP but you’ve decided that you’re no longer hooking up with other guys during the COVID-19 lockdown, we answer whether it is safe to just stop taking the meds.
It’s official, well actually doctor’s orders, you really shouldn’t be having sex with anyone new to you and outside of your current living arrangement during the coronavirus outbreak.
The medical director of Terrence Higgins Trust, Doctor Michael Brady, warned yesterday that people have to stop hooking up during the Government-mandated Covid-19 lockdown.
But if you’re currently on a course of PrEP medication and you’ve decided to heed his words, is it safe to just stop taking them?
Can you just stop taking PrEP?
According to THT, many people will be choosing not to take PrEP during lockdown, which is okay, providing you don’t have a specific need like you’re having sex with a partner who has a detectable viral load.
Guidance from THT states, if you’re a gay / bi cis-male “it’s safe to stop taking PrEP as long as you stop after two full days after you last had sex”.
If you’re a trans woman, a cis-female, trans man or someone who identifies as non-binary it is advised you wait until seven full days, after you last had sex, before stopping PrEP.
How can I start on PrEP again?
Is it safe to just stop taking PrEP medication?
According to THT advice, “When you’re ready to re-start PrEP, cis gay and bisexual men can re-start with a double dose taken two to 24 hours before sex. For everyone else, you need to re-start with a daily dose for seven days before having sex again”.
Of course, if you’re concerned about your medication and want further guidance, you should speak to your GP or sexual health advisors.
The medical director at the UK’s leading HIV charity, Terrence Higgins Trust has said people need to stop hooking up during the COVID-19 lockdown.
Doctor Michael Brady, the medical director at THT has warned that people need to stop meeting for sex and look for other ways to “find sexual pleasure in other ways”.
“I’ve never been an advocate of promoting abstinence, but this message is not about protecting your sexual health: it’s about protecting your general health and those around you from a virus that can be deadly. This is extraordinary and unprecedented advice for us to be giving out, but these are extraordinary and unprecedented times.”
Lockdown and Hooking Up
(C) BIGSTOCK
Earlier this week, Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined new, stricter rules about leaving our homes during the Covid-19 outbreak. These were:
Only go outside for food, health reasons or work (where this absolutely cannot be done from home)
Stay 2 metres (6ft) away from other people
Wash your hands as soon as you get home
With the country under stricter rules surrounding lockdown, Dr Brady says we shouldn’t be having sex with anyone outside our current households.
He added,
“This advice means that, unless you have sex with someone within your household, it’s important to find sexual pleasure in other ways. Despite the situation with COVID-19, we need to remember that sex is an important part of life, but right now we have to find other ways to achieve sexual pleasure and satisfaction.
He continued,
“It’s only natural that we look to sex for pleasure, to relieve stress and anxiety or simply to pass the time – whether that’s with a regular partner or using hook-up apps. But our ‘new normal’ is that we have to find ways to do this while sticking to the advice to stay at home. This isn’t just to protect ourselves against the coronavirus but also to protect the most vulnerable in our society.
“You are your safest sexual partner”
Dr Brady finished up by adding that during this time, that instead of seeking sexual contact with other people, take we take matters in our own hands.
He said,
“I never thought I’d say this but the reality is that, for the time being, you are your safest sexual partner. It’s time to stay at home, stop close contact with people outside our household and to be creative about how we manage our sex lives”.
Well, it could mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the guy who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub within sex.
So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox, have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.
Otherwise, you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher or just their names… (no labels!)
If you’re in your twenties then you might not remember a time when we used to have to use a dialup modem to get onto the internet, use the house phone line, and the only way to really get photos online was to scan actual photos – yep, printed pieces of paper, which used to always scan upside down for some reason.
It was a ball ache and took ages – and that’s if the website you were using accepted photos. So most people didn’t bother.
Therefore it was very common to start a chat conversation, with a random person, with the acronym “ASL”, which simply means Age, Sex Location. A super-quick way to discover if the person you were talking to was your vibe.
Thanks to smartphones and gay dating apps, like Grindr location and sex are pretty much taken care of, however, you might still need to ask his age, if that kind of thing is important to you.
ASL can also stand for American Sign Language, so it could also mean that, particularly if you’re in the US, that the person you’re messaging can sign.
Florist gives away tens of thousands of flowers, which otherwise would have had to be burned as the country goes into lockdown
A luxury florist in London has delivered some 500 posy bouquets to NHS staff at six hospitals, including St. Thomas’s, Chelsea and Westminster, and Lambeth Hospital, as a thank you for all the hard work during the Coronavirus outbreak.
Wildabout’s team have created these signature posies to bring a moment of joy to our invaluable NHS employees, it has also meant that they have been able to prevent tonnes of flowers being burnt at local farms across Holland.
The managing director, Leanne Roberts-Hewitt said,
“As our industry comes to a standstill for the foreseeable future and we close our doors, we wanted to make sure we spread some joy through these difficult times to our amazing NHS workers … And nothing does that better than flowers!!
“It has been heartbreaking watching the huge amount of flowers in Holland being burnt due to the quick reduction in supply; so we have been working with our Dutch supplier and the growers to put these flowers to good use.
“We have a huge selection of flowers including 50,000 stems of Roses, 20,000 Tulips and 5,000 hydrangeas, that we are proud to have saved to be used for such an incredible cause. We hope they shine some light during the most incredibly difficult circumstances.”
Opening Doors charity calls for support to help isolated older people from LGBT+ communities during COVID-19 outbreak
Opening Doors launches crowdfunding page to help to keep essential telefriending service running to support those most in need
Telefriending provides a critical lifeline to those who feel most vulnerable by providing reducing isolation, signposting to urgent services and providing valuable information
£15,000 is needed to help train volunteers to reach older LGBTQ+ communities during this crisis.
Opening Doors London, the biggest UK charity providing support services for the over 50’s LGBT+ communities, has launched an urgent crowdfunding campaign in a bid to secure £15,000 of funding to help train volunteers use their telefriending service to reach those who need care the most and support telephone services.
The recent COVID-19 outbreak has resulted in the charity having to halt hundreds of face-to-face services to prevent any risk to their older members and volunteer supporters, so there’s a real issue with reaching lonely and socially isolated members of LGBTQ communities, many having no access to digital services.
As a result, they are asking for donations so that they can train current volunteers in telephone befriending and increase staff capacity to support more of the community, so as many LGBTQ+ people over 50 who are at risk of isolation have someone to speak to if needed.
One such member of the community benefitting from this is Mike, a retired doctor, who says: “I don’t have anyone else to talk to. I am self-isolating and so I won’t even get to talk to the shopkeeper. It is a great relief to know that I will actually have someone to speak to.”
Meghan Herring, Befriending Coordinator at Opening Doors London says, “As the COVID-19 outbreak affects all members of society we are working hard to protect those most a risk of being overlooked – the elderly, lonely and most isolated groups. We urgently need support crowdfunding so we can help train our volunteers in telefriending so they can continue to provide those small services, which make a big difference.
Telefriending is a lifeline. Our volunteers check in with clients at least once a week, identifying if they have enough food, determine any possible concerns that need to be escalated but most importantly talk to them about how they are feeling. It is an essential service to help address truly urgent needs during this crisis. Therefore, any donations will be appreciated and will make a huge impact as Opening Doors work to support those who are most isolated.”
Age play is all about guys who like to age up or age down – outside of their biological ages. This isn’t about daddies or twinks. It’s all to do with creating a fantasy where a couple (or more) roleplay another age group altogether.
That means that certain guys might be into wearing diapers and nappies and being changed.
Others might be into older age play, which means they’re likely to want to get kinky with equipment most commonly used with older people, like Zimmer frames and commodes.
The BFI Flare film festival, the annual LGBT+ BFI film festival in London has released lots of free archive content from the BFI National Archive, giving viewers an unprecedented view into the history of LGBT+ life in Britain from the early 20th century onwards. It will be available to watch until the 30th March 2020.
The line up of over 40 films includes news coverage of the AIDS epidemic, the politics surrounding gay and lesbian people as well as documentaries of celebrities such as Larry Grayson and Quentin Crisp.
BFI Flare at Homewill sit alongside great short work from BFI Flare Five Films For Freedom short films, made available in partnership with the British Council to roll out over 10 days from Friday 20th March. The BFI’s existing collection of favourites from previous BFI Flare Festivals, much loved queer film classics, and the free BFI National Archive curated LGBT Britain on Film Collection, will also be available, giving access to over 230 films in total.
The new BFI Flare at Home programme will be available to be enjoyed in the safety of homes around the UK via BFI Player, the BFI’s VOD service. A special offer for BFI Player’s subscription service will be offered to audiences who had booked for BFI Flare, with general audiences invited to sign up for a free two week trial of BFI Player as well as existing BFI Player subscribers to take advantage of the enhanced BFI Flare collection. Most content will be available as part of the SVOD collection, with some additional titles available for rental/TVOD.
A petition has gone live asking for occupations, like adult entertainment to be added to protected characteristics, like sexuality, race and gender identity.
The petition which has been created by the ManyVids platform which aims to provide “an oasis for sex workers to thrive independently” has been launched to ask the government to make changes to the Equality Act 2010.
The organisation has said it would like to “challenge the UK government to protect and safeguard the rights of adult entertainers, who make a legal income just like other workers in many industries across the UK”.
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A worker, Epiphany Jones (link NSFW), uses the platform, and said that she is “repulsed by how much hate and discrimination there still is against sex workers, especially in this day in age”.
Explaining some of the issues she faced working within the adult industry, she wrote,
“When I first started camming on a few different sites, I offered PayPal as another way for my customers to safely and securely buy content from me. Unfortunately, a customer reported me to PayPal for using their service for sex work and my account was banned, deleted and the money was given back to the purchaser.
“As I had already delivered the video in question (which was delivered on time and without any issues), I can only assume the customer did this vindictively, knowing they would get a free video out of it. As you can imagine I was furious that this had been allowed to happen, and that I wasn’t given any chance to explain my situation
She continued, “What upset me most is the fact that prejudices surrounding my occupation stopped a thorough investigation from taking place. If I was selling craft videos on how to make daisy chains and a customer had complained, PayPal would have fairly investigated both sides of the argument and helped to resolve the situation, as opposed to banning the account out of hand and penalizing the creator”.
Jones says the incident has left her feeling “ostracized and alone”.
“No right-minded person would ever “lend a stripper money to do better shows.”
Speaking about her experience of getting a bank loan is even more depressing, she said,
“A couple of years ago I wanted to improve my business by upgrading my software and equipment. As I’m a registered business I decided to do what anyone else would do and met with the bank to discuss business loans. When I explained to the manager what my business was and why I needed the money I was practically laughed out of the office and told that no right-minded person would ever “lend a stripper money to do better shows.”
“Putting aside the fact that I earn consistently more via camming than I did in my previous job, this completely demoralized me and belittled my worth. The fact that a bank manager felt justified in demeaning me, just because of my occupation was sickening. All the money I’d earned and the profile I’d worked hard to build up meant nothing, he couldn’t see past my job title.
Just because I’m in the adult industry doesn’t mean I’m any less of a human being.
“Just because I’m in the adult industry doesn’t mean I’m any less of a human being. Having my hard-earned money taken from me being banished from sites is so demoralizing, especially since it’s nothing to do with me as a person – it’s just because of the prejudice surrounding my job.
People say the world will never change, but it can happen, and since I’ve been a ManyVids member I’ve seen such a positive improvement, especially within the LGBTQ community. I’d encourage all sex workers to keep being resilient and to have the courage to speak up and stand for what is right”.
