THEGAYUK

Category: Comment

  • COMMENT | I’ve swung… From Conservatives to Labour

    Election 2017 – Good Luck… and Don’t F**k It Up

    This is the biggest election of my generation. We’ve heard this a lot and it’s mostly been attached to the Brexit negotiations coming up but that isn’t the only reason. Truth is, the country has never been more divided than ever.

    In the last election, much the chagrin of my friends, I voted Conservative. I had read every manifesto and watched every interview and debate. Far from feeling “Con-Demed” by the coalition, I was impressed with the Conservatives’ move to the middle. I am a young professional, not earning a massive amount and still renting without hope of getting on the property latter any time soon. It felt like Ed Miliband’s focus was only on those in poverty. It seems selfish, written down but that’s how I voted; on what party I felt would help me but also help the country. I voted believing the Conservatives would represent everybody.

    What ensued was austerity and deep cuts. These cuts have left open wounds for our country that continue to bleed. The Conservative plan to invest in the NHS at the rate of inflation, allowing the NHS to find its own cuts elsewhere, turned out a disaster. The mere £8 billion investment had not been and still hasn’t been enough to keep up with growing demand with the Guardian reporting in March that “the number of patients not receiving treatment within 18 weeks of referral has gone up by 100,000 since January 2016” leading to the NHS scrapping the 18 week target for 92% of all patients in England “who are waiting for a hip or knee replacement, cataract removal, hernia repair or other non-urgent operation.”

    Then there’s the cruelty of Conservative welfare reform. After the May 2015 election, Iain Duncan Smith told a victorious Conservative Party Conference it was time to end the “something for nothing culture” they blamed on Labour. The result? People have died whilst on sanction and 52% of appeals by people who have been declared “fit to work” and had benefits slashed have been approved, proving the unfairness of the system. Now, sanctions were prevalent before the 2015 election and I could be fairly accused of ignorance on the matter but now my eyes are wide open. Let’s not also forget that, due to inflation and poor wage growth, the cost of living has increased leaving us shorter each month. I do not believe that being on benefits should be a way of life. I agree that a Labour Government allowed not working to pay more than working but what we have now is a system that treats all claimant as second-class citizens and, in addition, allows them to go hungry. The Trussell Trust’s recent end of year report was damning “Between 1st April 2016 and 31st March 2017, The Trussell Trust’s Foodbank Network provided 1,182,954 three day emergency food supplies to people in crisis compared to 1,109,309 in 2015-16. Of this number, 436,938 went to children.”

    If the NHS and the Welfare State don’t bother you, just look at the manifestos when it comes to equal/LGBT rights. Labour has an entire section dedicated to LGBT equality. The Conservative Manifesto doesn’t mention it once yet Theresa May felt it important to acknowledge her support of Fox Hunting. Whilst LGBT rights and influence has improved, no thanks to the Prime Minister’s poor voting record, we still have a long, long way to go. The Home Office reported in January of this year that there are 20 reported homophobic hate crimes a day in England and Wales. That’s only the ones that are reported. Yet the Conservatives feel no need to pledge support?

    I could go on and on about failings of our current Government and I am sure you’re saying “but what about Labour?!” The UK political system is sometimes frustrating. We are, realistically, a 2-party nation. I do not, in any way, agree with everything Corbyn believes. His party’s policies, in places, are much too liberal. His lack of charisma frustrating. And trust me, anyone like Diane Abbott (or, indeed, Diane herself if she returns from her period of ill health) as Home Secretary will be devastating to our international reputation. But I believe a Conservative Government will be more damaging. We cannot go on as we are with a Government whose focus is on the people who need them the least, at the expense of those who need them the most.

    Every election I have ever voted in, who/whatever I’ve voted for has won. I back winners because I back what I believe the country I dearly love needs. This Thursday, I back Labour.

    If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. In this trying times, it is important to show the strength of our democracy. But there is no doubt that this election could be transformative no matter which Party you support. So please get out there, come rain or shine, and vote.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

     

  • THE BIG GAY ELECTION | Week in review, we’re in the home stretch!

    With only two days before the nation votes, we again stand in the shadows of tragedy. The terrorist attacks at London Bridge and Borough Market on Saturday have proven another unexpected development, changing the narrative of an already convoluted election. What Theresa May billed as the Brexit election when she announced it back in April has quickly become the security election. Both the Prime Minister and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn have faced criticism over their records on terror and security – Mrs May for cuts to policing and intelligence failures on her watch, and Mr Corbyn for his links to the IRA and other terrorist organisations.

    It’s easy to look at what happened over the weekend – and in Manchester last month – and lose sight of other issues as they pale in comparison. But alas, there are stories worth bringing your attention to as we enter the home stretch of election 2017 – which has proven to be gayer than we ever thought possible.

    That could be down to something in the water. That is, at least according to Susan King, the Liberal Democrat candidate for Telford. In a web chat with the Shropshire Star last week, Ms King – a former anti-fluoride campaigner – claimed “there are a lot of feminising hormones getting into the environment and that has to be taken into consideration.” As if that weren’t a peculiar enough statement for a parliamentary candidate to make, Ms King continued by adding that “it’s affecting people’s sexuality basically,” whilst insisting that “people are at liberty to interpret how they want to live themselves.”

    The notion that British water is making people gay has attracted a lot of criticism, not only because many people think it’s borderline homophobic but because it’s also just quite daft. In a way, though, I kind of wish our water were making people gay. Maybe then I could marry Prince Harry.

    Of course, then Caroline Ansell might try to cure us both. Ansell, the incumbent Conservative candidate in Eastbourne, accepted funding for an intern from the homophobic and transphobic Christian Action Research and Education (CARE) charity. According to the Metro, CARE funded a conference on conversion therapy back in 2009. It shouldn’t be so surprising that Ansell would take money from CARE,  as she is also a member of the Kings Church Eastbourne, which the Metro reports is a part of anti-LGBT churches that preach gay people can be “cured.”

    Another church that allegedly believes gay people can be “exorcised” of the demons of same-sex attractions is Jesus House, a fast growing church in London. Last week, Theresa May stopped by to worship with its controversial and anti-gay marriage pastor, Agu Irukwu. Pink News reports that Pastor Irukwu wrote in 2006 that the Sexual Orientation Regulations was “the latest discrimination against Christians” and that it would “force Christians… to accept and even promote the idea that homosexuality is equal to heterosexuality.” (Spoilers: it didn’t.)

    If it seems I’m beating up on the Tories and Liberal Democrats here, it’s because they’ve given me the most fodder over the past several weeks. I’ve been keeping a keen eye out for any interesting gay gaffes, and other than Kezia Dugdale telling people to vote for the Tories (seriously, that’s a really bad electoral strategy, Kezia), Labour has been fairly gaffe-free on issues of equality. The Tories, with their notoriously checkered history on issues of equality, are continuing to experience growing pains as they try to balance their conservative base with their more progressive front bench (and a more enlightened electorate). The Liberal Democrats, meanwhile, literally started and ended this campaign talking about gay sex.

    When we wake up on Friday morning we could have the gayest parliament in history. The last parliament already saw a world record number of gay MPs. Yet in a report for Pink News, Professor Andrew Reynolds of The LGBT Representation and Rights Research Initiative at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill predicts that “the gains made by LGBTQ candidates in June 2017 will outweigh any losses.” According to Professor Reynolds, there could be as many as 24 new LGBT MPs elected of the 147 openly LGBT candidates standing this year.

    So all and all, not a bad gay election. Of course, I don’t know who is going to win on Friday (the polls show Labour pulling close, but it’s still likely to be a Tory majority), but I do know that this election has been more of a whirlwind than any in my lifetime. I’m kind of glad it’s almost over, and I live for politics, so I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Just hang in there and know that no matter who emerges as Prime Minister at the end of the week, THEGAYUK Magazine will be there to bring you all the details.

    [os-widget path=”/thegayuk/who-should-i-vote-for” of=”thegayuk” comments=”false”]

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Are you suffering from “straight jealously”?

    I wanna hold your hand (and other straight jealousy)

    As the title says, it’s a simple request; all I want to do is hold a hand, specifically my partner’s hand. We’ve been together for 8 years and I’ve never openly held his hand or been overly affectionate in public, and a video posted recently of two men in Russia just walking down the street holding hands painfully illustrates the kind of reactions that we would get. Obviously, the UK is far more liberal than Russia when it comes to gay rights, but I would still feel nervous about what could potentially happen.

    I consider myself a strong guy mentally, and if someone is openly homophobic I will stand up for myself, but it’s the subtle type of reactions that bother me more. The whispers and stares from people we would get for doing something so benign that straight people don’t even have to think about it. I do feel a pang of sadness and jealousy when I’m walking along with my partner and see couples holding hands or being affectionate, completely oblivious to the world around them, thinking of nothing more than their eventual destination or what’s for dinner that night.

    Straight people take for granted how easy it is for them to display affection towards their significant other, and while there may be a very small minority of people who might stare at a straight couple, if they are of, say different races or different physicality, it is nowhere near the level of hostility a gay couple would endure.

    I also very rarely visit “straight” nightclubs on a Friday or Saturday because it only takes one person saying something to ruin a night out. I feel constantly on edge, always wary of the kind of people who are about and how they might react to me, and obviously, with alcohol involved, this becomes more of a minefield. Most straight people can go to a nightclub and have a great night out without the fear of either having something said or worse, being attacked. Yes, it can happen that anyone can get into an incident in a nightclub, but as a gay person, the odds are stacked far more against me.

    I’m lucky in the fact that I’ve only ever experienced a few incidences of outright homophobic verbal abuse, and I’ve never been physically attacked and I consider myself fortuitous that the most I’ll get from friends and work colleagues would be considered nothing more than friendly banter and natural curiosity to me. However, what is friendly banter to me, could be incredibly hurtful to someone else and in the younger LGBT population especially, who may still be struggling with their identity this can be potentially dangerous.

    To some straight people reading this, they may question why I would be jealous of them, and this is where the problem lies, they don’t see a problem. They don’t have the need to see an issue, something I and the LGBT community don’t have the luxury of.

    The reason we have Pride events is so that as a community we can feel safe enough to be ourselves, where the worst we’ll get is from a few sad people in anoraks quoting bible verses at us, who are easily ignored. I’ve had it asked to me and others many times “Why do you have pride marches?” And my usual reaction is “be thankful you don’t need one”. The fact we have had to fight to be given basic rights, and it took until the 21st century to even be allowed to have a civil partnership shows there it still a long way to go to change people’s attitudes. We simply haven’t come far enough to stop the fight for our right to exist and to be recognised.

    But what can be done, should all gay couples just hold hands and sod the reactions? Sadly this isn’t as easy as it sounds. In some places in the UK, this could potentially result in a violent reaction. LGBT people have been attacked and or killed, and over 35,000 incidences of homophobic hate crimes go unreported every year. Does this illustrate that the LGBT community are so used to these kind of reactions that they consider it pointless to report it anymore, or is there something of a more deeply disturbing trend when it comes to homophobic abuse, in that LGBT people don’t feel anything would be done even if it was reported and would that then result in worse treatment from the perpetrator after they got their slap on the wrist. Statistics show that fewer than 1 in 10 homophobic hate crimes that are actually reported lead to a conviction.

    Times they are a changing though, and the general overall attitude towards gay people is positive and accepting, and as people become more educated about the LGBT community the more people will not think twice about seeing two men holding hands.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • THE UNDATEABLE GAY | On a detox

    COLUMN | The Undateable Gay

    Now, I’m not talking a man/dating detox. Oh god, no. I couldn’t do that. It’d be like depriving Dot Cotton of her cigarettes. No, I’m talking a lifestyle detox.

    When I stepped on the scales the other morning, they spoke to me, “one at a time please!” For any of you less intellectually-minded people out there, the scales didn’t actually talk. But you get the idea. I’m carrying quite a bit more weight around with me than a few months ago.

    So I decided it was time to take action before I become any more undateable than I already appear to be. My lifestyle detox consists of making sure I get eight hours sleep a night, protein shakes, a healthy meal a day, no alcohol (God help me) and definitely no cakes or crap! Wish me luck.

    DAY ONE: I strongly advise anyone partaking in a protein shake diet to carry a packet of extra strong mints with you at all times. Oh my god. The breath. I could have woken the dead with my breath today. The hardest part of my day was on my way home from work. I was filled with sheer excitement at the prospect of a glass of wine and Holby City. And then the reality of my detox hit me like a double decker bus. No wine! I could have cried. So, I got into bed with the hump. Oh well, at least that’s my eight hours sorted.

    DAY TWO: I decided I should go for a little swim today. I thought perving on the men in speedos might cheer me up and take my mind off my wine withdrawal. My god, I went dizzier than a fat chav whose been plonked smack bang in the middle of a circular McDonald’s. Note to self; avoid exercise until the lifestyle detox is over.

    DAY THREE: I feel an over share coming on. My stomach is more blown up than a balloon arch. I am more constipated than a person whose taken an overdose of Imodium. But on the plus side, I have been waking up with a much clearer head. It must be the enormous amount of sleep I’m getting and the lack of wine consumption.

    DAY FOUR: It’s only been three days I know but this morning, I decided to weigh myself. I was feeling that I surely must have shed a few pounds. As I stepped on, the scales told me I was exactly the same weight. Not a single bloody ounce had shed from my body. Oh well, I guess it was a bit soon to be expecting any weight loss. But it didn’t stop me wanting to lob the scales out of the bathroom window. Not that I’m an aggressive gay, you understand.

    DAY FIVE: I kid you not, I am actually feeling so much purer inside. (My body, not my mind.) I doubt that’ll ever be pure. Especially after my visit to the sauna. But I feel I may need some anger management sessions soon. You see, Saturday’s are normally my cake and wine day. (Well, that has actually been most days recently but Saturday’s especially.) so there I was getting really excited about the Belgian bun and bottle of Sauvignon I was going to consume when it hit me. Like a ruddy great lightning bolt. I’m on a detox.

    DAY SIX: After an awfully stressful day at work, I made a conscious decision. I need a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. No, not a glass. A whole bottle. So I popped into my little Tesco Express and picked up a bottle. I lashed myself on my faux leather sofa, put on my Prisoner: Cell Block H DVD (so gay, I know) and drank the whole bottle. I’m clearly as successful with detoxing and as I am dating.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • THE BIG GAY ELECTION | Week in review, manifestos and more

    After a few sombre days of mourning the victims of the Manchester attack, the Conservative and Labour are back on the campaign trail

    With less than two weeks until the country votes on the 8th of June, you can bet they’re ready to make up for lost time and make their final pitches to the public.

    The biggest political story of the past two weeks is undoubtedly the release of the party manifestos. Labour, the Liberal Democrats, and the Conservatives all released their manifestos last week. I blogged about what they pledged to the LGBT community for HuffPost UK, while THEGAYUK’s editor-in-chief, Jake Hook, put together a quick guide for your easy reference.

    Labour and the Lib Dems specifically made pledges to the LGBT community, but the Tories didn’t mention us once. This is, to put it bluntly, unacceptable. Regardless of political position, that one of the major parties—never mind the Prime Minister’s party—would neglect to mention the LGBT community or make any specific pledges to us seems almost unfathomable. It is yet another gaffe in an already controversial Tory manifesto, which has seen the Prime Minister U-turn on her plans for a so-called “dementia tax” (which would use the homes of deceased dementia sufferers to subsidise the care they received whilst alive).

    Why the Conservatives didn’t think to include us in their vision for the country is beyond me, but it’s nothing short of an astonishing. This is all the more galling when you consider that UKIP, of all parties, managed to remember us when they controversially released their manifesto yesterday, ahead of the resumption of campaigning by the other parties. Granted, they only mentioned the LGBT+ community in a pledge to “test the social attitudes of migration applicants” towards women and gay people.

    Whilst this sounds nice on the surface – nobody wants a bunch of raging homophobes coming into the country – many on social media have pointed out that a lot of UKIP’s own members wouldn’t pass this test. In the last week alone it was revealed that Iain Kealey, the UKIP candidate for Bristol South, once compared gay people marching against Islamophobia as “Jews for Hitler,” whilst their candidate in Witney has a penchant for referring to our community as the “gaystapo” and allegedly has ties to those who practice gay conversion therapy. Oh, and he’d like to repeal gay marriage.

    UKIP wasn’t the only party with a gay cure controversy though. The conservative candidate in Brighton and Hove, Kirsty Adams, is reported to have links to a church that believes LGBT people are possessed by demons, which they then try to cast out. Ms Adams, who is standing against openly gay incumbent Labour candidate Peter Kyle, refused to say she doesn’t believe in the practice of casting out demons, but did say she has “never been homophobic” and supported equal marriage. “I am committed to all forms of equality,” she said in a statement.

    Never mind casting out demons, though. Some trans people won’t even be able to cast a vote. The deadline to register to vote was Monday night, but as Pink News reported, several trans people were having issues registering after they legally changed their names or had protected National Insurance numbers (which some trans people opt for so their gender identity is less likely to be revealed).

    If they do manage to vote and live north of the border, Kezia Dugdale – the out leader of Scottish Labour – has a novel suggestion for how they should vote, and it isn’t for her party. Ms Dugdale came under fire from many on the left when she seemingly encouraged some constituencies to vote Conservative in an effort to defeat the Scottish National Party. “The reality is the vast majority of seats across Scotland, it’s only the Labour party that can beat the SNP,” she told Sky News, before adding “there are a few differences in the Borders and the Highlands where the Tories might be better placed…” Suggesting people vote for your opponents is a novel way to win seats, but takes all sorts, I suppose.

    Meanwhile, another out lesbian north of the border – the leader of the Scottish Conservatives, Ruth Davidson – has made the exact same pitch. That is, she’s asking Labour voters to support the Tories to oust the SNP. Of course, the SNP holds all but one of the constituencies in Scotland, so they’re unlikely to be completely wiped out. But Davidson’s Scottish Tories are doing remarkably well, currently polling in second place – their best showing in decades. They look poised to pick up at least one or two Scottish constituencies.

    Meanwhile, back in England, the Liberal Democrats faced a backlash from their own members for an allegedly transphobic poster. “Vote her, get him,” says an image depicting Nigel Farage’s face imposed upon Theresa May’s body. According to the Telegraph, the chair of LGBT Lib Dems, Jennie Rigg, tweeted that the sign is “bordering on transphobia” and that the press team was “making her life difficult.” This is on top of the brouhaha that erupted earlier in the campaign when Lib Dem leader Tim Farron took weeks to publicly say that no, gay sex is not a sin. Judge for yourselves whether the image is transphobic:

    In yet another bit of bad news for the Lib Dems, former Lib Dem MP Simon Hughes – who is openly bisexual – was reported to the police by his Labour opponent, the incumbent MP Neil Coyle who defeated Mr Hughes in their Bermondsey constituency in 2015. In leaflets which allegedly looked like newspapers, Mr Hughes claimed Mr Coyle was being investigated for abusing members of his party’s staff, which Mr Coyle categorically denies.

    Despite his sexual orientation, Mr Hughes has a spotty history when it comes to LGBT+ rights. He led a notoriously homophobic campaign against gay rights activist Peter Tatchell to win his constituency in 1983. More recently, he refused to vote for same-sex marriage, instead abstaining from the vote whilst outlining his opposition to same-sex marriage in a 2013 blog for the Liberal Democrat Voice. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

    On that note, I’m off to make some enemies of my own by knocking back a few pints and challenging my local bartender to an ABBA sing-off. Blame the demon homosexuals in me, I guess. Until then, stay strong and stay fabulous.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • THE BIG GAY ELECTION | F**k politics … We are all Mancunians this week

    THE BIG GAY ELECTION | F**k politics … We are all Mancunians this week

    This week in review is coming to you later than last week’s, which was two days late.

    timajo / Pixabay

    Originally I thought this was an ingenious idea. I was going to push each column back a day until we reached Thursday, 8 June – election day. So this one was meant to be sent to my editor on Monday night, for publication on Tuesday.

    And then Manchester happened.

    I can’t put into words how utterly devastated I am – how utterly devastated all of us at THEGAYUK are – about what happened at Manchester Evening News Arena on Monday night. 22 beautiful, young lights were snuffed out far too early by a hateful “loser,” as US President Donald Trump rightly called him. Twenty-two young girls and boys, women and men, lost their lives because some twisted soul bought into an ideology of hate.

    Speaking only for myself, I have wept uncontrollably for those we lost in Manchester – those beautiful, precious children and their equally precious parents who just wanted to see a pop idol sing. I pray to God that anyone and everyone responsible is brought not only to justice, but to His wrath. I hope they burn in Hell.

    In the wake of the horrific attack in Manchester, the parties have halted campaigning until at least the weekend. Some have criticised this decision, but I think it wholly right. At the end of the day, we’re all British (except me; I’m American – but I desperately wish I were British). This is a national tragedy, the likes of which we haven’t seen in twelve years, since the 7/7 attacks in 2005. Politics suddenly seems much less important when our children are being killed by terrorist thugs as end leave what was meant to be one of the happiest nights of their lives.

    As the contributing political editor for THEGAYUK, I had a decision to make: do I write in defiance of the terrorists, or do I follow suit with our political parties and cease political coverage for the next few days? I’ve grappled with this question all day, and I don’t know that I have the right answer. But I arrived at my answer.

    I’m not going to write about politics today.

    Instead, I’m going to talk about the victims who have been publicly identified, talk about their lives, and talk about what it is I think makes Britain so goddamn special.

    I hope you’ll understand.

    Saffie-Rose Roussos was 8. She became separated from her sister and mum – who at the time I’m writing this is still in hospital and unaware her daughter has died – and was killed in the terrorist attack. According to the Telegraph, her headteacher, Chris Upton said “Saffie was simply a beautiful little girl in every aspect of the word. She was loved by everyone.” She was “unassuming, with a creative flair,” he said, and “she was loved by everyone and her warmth and kindness will be remembered fondly.”

    Georgina Callander was 18. Her mother, Leslie, was the first to lay a flower at Tuesday’s vigil in Manchester’s Albert Square. A self-proclaimed “Arianator” (the nickname for those in the Ariana Grande fandom), Georgina was seeing her idol for at least the second time. She was also an avid fan of Once Upon a Time, a television show about fairy tale characters. Several of the cast members, including Rebecca Mader (who played the Wicked Witch of the West) and Emelie de Ravin (who played Belle) tweeted condolences, remembering Georgina. (As a fellow Oncer, Georgina holds a special place in my heart, and I tweeted at series creator Adam Horowitz asking that, as another fan requested, the first episode of series 7 be dedicated in her honour.)

    Kelly Brewster was 32. She had just put the deposit on a house with her partner, intent on building a life with him and his daughter. According to the Daily Mail, she shielded her young niece, Hollie, from the shrapnel coming from the nail bomb. Hollie survived thanks to her aunt’s courage, as did Kelly’s sister – Hollie’s mum. The Daily Mail spoke to the father of Kelly’s partner, Ian, who said he is ‘absolutely distraught.’

    Alison Howe and Leslie Lees were waiting for their daughters to come out of the concert when they were killed. Both were from Royton, Oldham according to the Mirror. “They took a caring beautiful mum and step mother away from us all she was amazing to us x love you loads Alison Howe xx,” her stepson Jordan Howe posted on Facebook – again, according to the Mirror, who also reports that around the same time Leslie’s brother said she was “gone, but never ever forgotten.” These two mums were trying to collect their daughters from a pop concert. That’s it.

    These are the victims, as of 3:33 GMT on 24 May, I know of. More will surely be made known by the time this is published. (ed note: RIP to Martyn Hett)

    Their stories are equally worth telling. All 22 (and, God forbid, counting) souls’ stories are worth telling. It would be my honour to write them all.

    I may never get that chance, but what I have now is a chance to use my platform as a contributing editor of this magazine and a writer for other British outlets to say this: they will not have died in vain. Their stories will be told, and their loss will redouble our efforts to confront the scourge of extremism within our own borders and abroad – that evil ideology, irrespective of religion, that seeks to divide us. The terrorists won a battle; they will not win the war.

    Britain is at its best when it is united. It is what I love most about this country – a country that, no matter who you are or where you’re from can come together over a cup of tea. If that sounds quaint, it is, but it’s also honest – as the assassinated Labour MP Jo Cox said, we have more that unites us than divides us.

    Britain is a beautiful, resilient country that will not be cowed by terrorists. No matter our sexuality, our race, our religion – no matter anything – we will always come together. The Mancunians showed us that last night, offering their houses to strangers and their taxi rides free of charge. They took the stranger in. Why? Because they’re British, and their neighbours were in need. That’s what we do in this country.

    And though I’m American, I know a thing or two about the British spirit. I know how unbreakable it is. Times are scary, and times are tough. We’ve suffered devastating losses. But as long as we stand together, united, we cannot be defeated.

    I’ll get back to politics later this week. I have an interview with Labour MP Peter Kyle that’s not to be missed and my usual witty observations. In the meantime, I ask that you pray for Manchester – or, if you’re of no faith, keep them in your thoughts. After all…

    We are all Mancunians this week.

  • THE BIG GAY ELECTION | Weekly Roundup, A Brexit from Eurovision?

    You’ll have noticed that this week’s column is coming a little later than usual. There’s a reason for that. Whilst those ensconced in the Westminster bubble are feverishly obsessed with Brexit and winning the election, those of us who prefer Soho were busy celebrating “gay Christmas.” Yes, it was Eurovision weekend, and like any good gay, I was busy rooting for my favourite camp act (the poor sods from Spain, whom apparently I alone liked) and cheering on the fabulous Lucie Jones.

    I took my union flag to a skyscraper overlooking Lake Michigan here in Chicago, joining a British ex-pat and Polish immigrant – meaning thankfully, politics was not a topic of conversation. Judging from Twitter, though, I imagine your Eurovision party might not have been so relaxing. It seems everyone was interested to see how Brexit would affect the Eurovision voting. The Prime Minister warned ahead of Saturday’s final that we shouldn’t get our hopes up. In an interview with the BBC’s The One Show, she promised we wouldn’t Brexit from Eurovision (thank God!), but that “…in the current circumstances, I’m not sure how many votes we’ll get.” Whilst we didn’t do well among EU heavyweights France and Germany, Lucie was able to garner 111 votes, finishing better than any British entrant in several years.

    Lucie herself was a bit more confused about the role Brexit played in her showing. She told ITV’s Lorraine earlier today that “Nobody actually talked about Brexit [in Kiev]. It wasn’t a thing. I wasn’t ‘Brexit Girl,’ which was really nice.” This contradicts what she told the Sun following Saturday night’s show. “I did notice lots of Brexit comments,” she said, noting that she voted Remain, which surely made this even more annoying. “I did vote to remain in the EU,” she said, “but hey, not much we can do about it now. Lots of people voted to leave and we’re a democracy and that’s the way of the world. Sh*t happens.”

    It most certainly does, Lucie, and loads of it happened this week other than Eurovision. So let’s put on our Wellies and wade into some of it.

    The biggest news of the week was undoubtedly the leak of Labour’s draft manifesto – the most radical in a generation, since Michael Foot’s famed “longest suicide note in history” way back in 1983 – before I, and I reckon many of you, were even born. The Daily Mail and the Tories jumped on this, accusing Labour of trying to take the country back to the 1970s (whilst at the same time lauding Theresa May’s admission she and husband Philip have “boy jobs and girl jobs” at home – because that’s not antiquated).

    But should we all be busting out bellbottoms and disco balls just yet? Labour contends we shouldn’t, labelling it a “forward thinking” manifesto that will be deeply popular with voters. The polling backs them up on this. As the Independent reported, around half of people support Labour’s proposals to renationalise the railways, Royal Mail, and the energy market. Meanwhile, policies such as higher taxes on higher earners and building more houses have also gone down extremely well with voters.

    People want to know where the money is coming from. Labour promises that its official manifesto will be fully costed. Until then, we can but speculate on how Corbyn plans to find the funds to pay for his proposals. It should also be noted that the leaked draft manifesto contains other policies sure to be popular with the electorate, including raising the minimum wage and keeping Trident – despite Jeremy Corbyn’s own distaste for the country’s nuclear deterrent.

    Labour can take some solace in the fact that these proposals poll so well, but they certainly can’t rest on their laurels. A recent Survation poll shows the Tories hold an 18 point lead over Labour. It seems that much of this is down to how the leaders are perceived. In another piece, the Independent reports that more people disapprove of the Tories than support them, but that voters still seem to approve of Theresa May’s performance as Prime Minister than disapprove.

    This may be why Ms May’s name is splashed on the side of the Tory battlebus, and why the Conservatives are so keen to make this election a choice between her and Mr Corbyn. The Conservatives more than any party are making this an election about personalities, which makes it strange that she is so reticent to show one. She is refusing to take impromptu questions from reporters (something I criticised her for last week in a HuffPost blog last week) and is still refusing to take part in televised debates. Mrs May is playing her cards close to her chest, running one of the most stage-managed campaigns in living memory. It’s understandable why, but there may come a point where voters demand greater access to the woman who wants to lead the UK out of the EU.

    Some other things that have piqued my interest this week and you lot should be watching out for:

    • The Tories have expressed a desire to repeal the ban on fox hunting; considering how unpopular this is with the electorate, it demonstrates Theresa May’s confidence in winning a majority on 8th June
    • Still, Jeremy Corbyn is climbing in the polls – but can he catch up to Ms May in a short time?
    • Corbyn told Buzzfeed he wouldn’t step down as Labour leader should he lose the election, so if that comes to pass, be ready for yet another bloody battle for the soul of the Labour Party
    • The Trade Union and Socialist Coalition – a Labour splinter group who challenged Labour from the left in the past two elections – has decided not to stand this go-round, citing Labour’s left wing manifesto.
    • And because I know you’re all keen to know, former One Directioner Harry Styles has said he’ll vote for whoever is against Brexit – an endorsement the Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron has surely welcomed. If only sixteen-year-olds (or, you know, I) could vote.

    Keep watching this space as we continue to bring you the biggest and gayest election coverage anywhere on the internet. In the meantime, whilst you’re out on the doorsteps, keep your eyes peeled for someone who can win us Eurovision next year. After this election and the coming Brexit negotiations, we deserve a win.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | 13 Reasons Why, we need more Saved By The Bell for our mental health

    As I write this I have just realised how long it has been since I have written an article or a proper story. How long it has been since I felt really okay and that I might have suffered a PTSD related setback. Why has this happened I wonder: I felt so good a few weeks ago. Then I realise it started with watching a new Netflix series called 13 Reasons Why.

    Revolving around a young girl’s suicide the series claims to be a show to get people talking about teen suicide, bullying, sexual assault and a  cautionary tale about the signs of suicidal behaviour and how much a person can handle.

    I watched it out of curiosity and in my capacity as a psychologist. Immediately after the first episode, I started feeling a bit odd. You see, I suffered from bullying, mental health issues and sexual abuse, so the series hit an immediate trigger. I should have stopped there and then, but for some reason, the series had taken hold of me, even if I could bear no more than one episode a day.

    Soon I was triggered to the point of thinking over past events and painful memories for several hours a day. I couldn’t really work or concentrate, I was just thinking about myself, my traumas the lost years, the bullying. I began doubting any accomplishments I had made and mentally started dragging myself down. It was as if Hannah was taking me with her in her fall.

    By the end of the series I was relieved it was over, and the documentary with warnings and support did little to alleviate the turmoil I was suffering.

    I am not the only one, one journalist said,

    “I can’t stop thinking about it and I really don’t want to. Because what I saw was more disturbing than any horror film imaginable.”

    It is sad that something starting out as wanting to help teens suffering has got it so wrong and might cause more suffering in the end.

    Having undergone the experience I applaud everyone who warns kids against watching it. I am a grown woman reliving trauma because of a story created for teens. This show had me out of kilter for weeks on end. How must it be to watch this when you are still living it? Dangerous, that is all I can say. It is bizarre that this show was created to warn against suicide when at the same time making it seem as the only option. The fact that it was announced that there is a second season.

    The show shows extreme victim blaming and suicide as a payback, as finally taking control, not as the end result of months of mental pain. Suicide is not about control, not about revenge: it is someone thinking everyone’s life will be better without them. It is usually done as a spur of the moment decision to end the pain, not a planned out ritual.

    Aside from the traumas 13 Reasons Why evoked and the glorifying of suicide and self-harm, the one that galled me the most was the character of Courtney and storyline in the show. As someone who has struggled with their sexuality for a very long time, seeing the lesbian character portrayed the way she was on this show was upsetting by itself. Compared to the male gay characters (one is a sweet good guy, the other has flaws but tries to do right near the end) she has no redeeming features at all. She was not even granted a scene of remorse at the end. Being a lesbian seems to be so bad that she prefers to protect a known rapist rather than face being outed. With such a lack of young lesbian role models on TV and in movies is this really what should be presented? For some reason being a lesbian is seen as problematic for many young women and girls these days and the impact this show has right now can only make this worse. Having Courtney show regret and sharing in her coming out would have lifted at least some of the problematic content displayed in this storyline.

    Mental health officials and many celebrities have now warned against the show and I agree with them. It is triggering and can cause many mental problems.

    Paris Jackson, who tried to take her own life in 2013, has also spoken out, calling the show ‘extremely triggering’ for young people ‘in a dark place’.

    While actress Shannon Purser says: “I would advise against watching 13 Reasons Why if you currently struggle with suicidal thoughts or self-harm/have undergone sexual assault.”

    Meanwhile, the National Association of School Psychologists took a clear stance, insisting the show is dangerous for young people.

    “We do not recommend that vulnerable youth, especially those who have any degree of suicidal ideation, watch this series,” the board said in a statement.

    At the same time, several Canadian schools have sent out warnings about 13 Reasons Why and one is telling students to not talk about it at all while at school.

    I, on the whole, agree with this message. If you are open to it, the show can do strange things to your mental well-being. Teenagers are very susceptible and besides the fact that young people are suffering bullying and abuse on an extremely large and dangerous scale these days, there is also the internet. Online teens can both wallow in dark places where suicide, pain, mental health issues and self-harm are seen as glamorous and also experience more bullying. If this series is added to this never ending tsunami of darkness the suicide can all to easily be copied.

    What teens need, now more than ever, is soothing storytelling. ’90’s TV shows like Blossom and Full House and Saved By The Bell might often be berated as soft and fluffy but series like those are what got me through the darkness in my childhood. When I was at my lowest these series were like a warm embrace, telling me things would be all right even if something went wrong. (In fact, marathoning both Full and Fuller House are what are getting me out of my depression now.) I know all too well how a young mind can be influenced by dark and tragic tales and had a series like 13 Reasons Why existed when I was young things might not have worked out so well for me. I hope that we will soon see an end to all the dark and “realistic” shows teenagers and young adults are fed these days.

    Now more than ever we need “soft and fluffy”, we need to be told that “it will be alright” as our reality is dark enough as it is.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • THE BIG GAY ELECTION | Weekly Roundup, Gay sex abound

    I know this was meant to be the “Brexit election,” but there have been more politicians talking about gay sex over the past two weeks than on Westminster Grindr.

    This election is quickly shaping up to be the gayest election in living memory – the Big Gay Election if you will. My goal over the coming weeks is, to sum up, the electoral week in gay, highlighting stories and candidates pertinent to the LGBT community with insight, clarity, and hopefully a little humour.

    Jumping right in, the major story of the week was, of course, Tim Farron – the inexplicable Leader of the Liberal Democrats – refusing to answer unequivocally that gay sex isn’t a sin. Whilst this may seem odd for someone who was in a failed 1980s version of Steps, Farron is a committed evangelical Christian whose nuanced views on faith and sexuality have widely (though many would argue unfairly) raised eyebrows about his commitment to equality. Appearing on ITV’s Peston on Sunday on 23 April, Farron doubled-down on his whole “we’re all sinners” spiel – which, while from a Christian perspective, is technically true, didn’t really answer the question. 

No worries, though. Sensing the political storm wasn’t about to abate anytime soon – and, I imagine, that he’d never again be able to attend “Kylie: A Celebration” at the Strangers’ Bar – last Tuesday he finally cleared the air. In an interview with the BBC’s Eleanor Garnier, Farron stated unequivocally “I don’t believe gay sex is a sin.” It took him, like, some two weeks to figure out how to string those words into a cohesive sentence, but he got there in the end. It took Prime Minister Theresa May, another committed Christian, decidedly less time. She was asked by Andrew Marr on Sunday whether she thought gay sex is a sin. “No,” she simply responded. Simple and concise, unlike her Brexit plan.

    But hey, you there, the bloke reading from LGBT Tory – wipe that smug smile off your face. It wasn’t exactly a banner week for your party either. Isle of Wight Conservative MP Andrew Turner resigned – according to PinkNews “before he was pushed” – after allegedly telling a group of teenage LGBT activists that he wouldn’t be going to Pride because he thinks homosexuality is “wrong” and “dangerous to society,” apparently missing the irony that as a Tory those are the exact words Momentum would use about him. The teens posted on Facebook, the story went viral, and by the end of the week, Turner was gone. 

I don’t know if he was about to be asked to sashay away, though I imagine he was. Theresa May runs a ship tighter than Sam Callahan’s… abs. But this shines a light on something the Conservative Party would rather you forget – that their backbenchers are, by and large, no allies of ours. Never forget that the majority of Tory backbenchers voted against equal marriage and that the Prime Minister herself, back when she was Home Secretary, wanted to repeal the Human Rights Act. The extreme Eurosceptic wing of the Conservatives would take Britain out of the European Convention on Human Rights, which has underpinned much of the equality victories British gays have won over the past 25 years.

    As for Labour, well, they’ve been largely silent on gay issues this week (unless lambasting Tim Farron for his no-gay-sex scandal). Jeremy Corbyn did read a letter from a gay couple at the last Prime Minister’s Questions of this Parliament on Wednesday, though. Christopher, Corbyn says, wrote that “for the last five years, my husband has had only a one percent increase in his wages. The cost of living has risen each year. We now have at least 15 percent less buying power than then.” 

The thing about Corbyn’s letters from constituents (a hallmark of his at PMQs) is that they’re impossible to corroborate, so I don’t know any specifics about Christopher’s and his Mister’s circumstances. However, it does raise one thing that we should keep in mind: gay and bisexual men are more likely to experience poverty than straight men, and lesbians are at least as likely to experience poverty as women. Economic inequality is linked to LGBT inequality, so as you cast your ballots next month, bear in mind who is going to do the best to raise the community out of poverty. After all, being fabulous ain’t cheap.

    There’s one more issue we should all remember throughout the election cycle, and which deserves no snark: Chechnya. Gay men are being rounded up, tortured, and killed throughout the Russian province. Whoever the next Prime Minister is, we owe it to our Chechen brothers (and indeed, our LGBT siblings throughout the world) to make sure the government is doing everything they can to advocate for and protect the human rights of LGBT people the world over.

    We’ve got five weeks left before the vote, so undoubtedly there’s going to be quite a bit more to roll our eyes, scoff, and groan at. In the meantime, watch this space. THEGAYUK has some great election coverage coming up.
    Until next week – happy campaigning!

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Northern Ireland: Wedged between equality

    As Northern Ireland continues to reel from the recent collapse of Stormont and consequent election, many others quietly anticipate what possible changes will come should a new power-sharing executive be formed or get pushed through by Westminster should the current stalemate persist and direct rule be reinstated, one example being marriage equality.

    While MLAs voted for marriage equality by a majority in the most recent motion it was blocked by NIs largest political party, theDemocratic Unionist Party (DUP), who used a petition of concern to effectively veto the vote. Petitions of concern were incorporated into The Good Friday Agreement, which ended years of bloodshed in the province, as a mechanism to prevent disagreement if the vote would be on a cross-community basis, rather than a simple majority. This petition requires the signature of 30 executive members which previously the DUP had but with the loss of 10 seats in election 2017 comes the loss of their ability to use it if or when a new government is formed meaning the next motion put forward would almost definitely pass. If direct rule should be reinstated the DUP will no longer have a choice in the matter of marriage equality as well as the many other issues they continue to oppose, in spite of public opinions, such as reform on abortion laws.

    “Living in Northern Ireland as a gay person can be a surreal experience, the civilisation of same-sex marriage has already been introduced just a few miles down the road in Southern Ireland as well as a few miles across the sea in Scotland, England and Wales, while we remain oppressed by a so called democratic party, it’s rather like being an outdated sandwich filling wedged between two slices of fresh modern bread”

    However optimistic, most of the LGBT community in Northern Ireland remain reserved, fearful that hopes of achieving the equality we are wedged between will once again be dashed. Living in Northern Ireland as a gay person can be a surreal experience, the civilisation of same-sex marriage has already been introduced just a few miles down the road in Southern Ireland as well as a few miles across the sea in Scotland, England and Wales, while we remain oppressed by a so called democratic party, it’s rather like being an outdated sandwich filling wedged between two slices of fresh modern bread. On occasion I have felt like there is no place for me as a gay man in this society and considered leaving Belfast for pastures new where bigotry is not so engrained in politics, just like gay people have had to do for decades, when it occurs to me that this is not the 1960s or 70s anymore, this is 2017 and the majority of people in Northern Ireland along with politicians are in support of equality, understanding and humanity towards the LGBT so why should I leave?

    There is a place in society for the LGBT community whether it’s in Belfast or Baghdad, Grozny or Moscow, there is no place for the oppression inflicted on so many people around the world purely based on their sexual orientation.

    With bars, support services and the gay scene as we know it gradually disappearing it’s more important than ever that we stand together as an international community offering support to our fellow brothers and sisters. This is not just a fight for equality or for us to feel accepted by society, it’s a fight to belong and for us to accept society instead of rejecting it as being incomprehensible and lacking in compassion.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | When will the mainstream media ask Theresa May if she thinks gay sex is a sin?

    Yesterday the media was awash with gay sex. In fact, I’ve never heard so much said about gay sex by the UK’s media (well not since Queer As Folk in 1999).

     

    Tim Farron has had a weekend of it.

    Probably never in the history of the world has one straight-identified man had to think about the sex that goes on between two people of the same sex than Tim Farron after the endless barrage of questioning, from the media, on the sinfulness of gay sex.

    And as though Farron is the authority of sin anyway and his say is final.

    Over the weekend, one interviewer asked him, it seems proudly, 11 times in an interview to clarify whether he actually thought “gay sex” was a sin, the interviewer even brought up Leviticus, shellfish (Tim’s a Vegetarian) and mixed fabrics.

    Listening to the questioning, exactly what do they mean when they say “gay sex”? Do they mean anal? Because actually isn’t the question then: do you think anal sex is sinful – because guess what heterosexuals have anal sex too.

    What does the mainstream media mean when they say “gay sex”? Do they mean anal? Because actually isn’t the question then: do you think anal sex is sinful? Because guess what, heterosexuals have anal sex too.

    Channel 4’s Cathy Newman asked him four times, Preston on Sunday morning (on a Sunday morning of all times) also asked him…

    Don’t we have an answer? He spelt it out loud and proud in Parliment no less. “I do not” he answered with conviction.

    He doesn’t think being gay is a sin. With “gay sex” being part of being gay doesn’t that technically answer it?

    Aren’t there more pressing questions of Farron that should be asked?

    The mainstream media’s fascination with this line of question is mindboggling. I also had no idea that the mainstream media could talk and question, at length, with authority, on this subject.

    When it comes to other matters concerning the LGBT community more often than not, it’s all quiet. For instance, how long did it take for the Chechnya gay detention, torture and killing story to break through? Some parts of the media haven’t even yet reported on it.

    Well, I’ll tell you what I want, the same media now needs to ask the same questions to Theresa May. She’s a committed Christian, just like Farron. She’s also used her Christianity to justify decisions more openly than any other politician has done of late. So shouldn’t we be asking her what she thinks of a bit of bum fun?

    I think that questions about her decisions on LGBT equality prior to 2004 should be probed.

    Whilst Farron’s record on voting on LGBT rights is good, granted not perfect, his party’s stance is exceptional. If you want to read Lord Paddick’s explanation on Farron’s abstention of same-sex marriage 3rd reading click here)

    Ms May’s not so much and as for the Tories, well, history speaks for itself.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.