THEGAYUK

Category: Comment

  • Drag Race Allstars 3, who could they be?

    Series 9 has now ended and I feel a hole in my gayness that needs filling (I genuinely didn’t intend to put a pun there, but I spotted it and decided to leave it in). Oh, the puns!

    It is widely expected that All Stars 3 is coming (not soon enough!) and fans are already talking about who could return. We already know that Willem is out (she said so herself via a post on Tumblr which was subsequently removed, oh the intrigue) so who do you want to see in the new all-stars? Here is my ideal lineup;

    BenDeLaCreme (Season 6)

    I liked Ms de le Creme, especially her Maggie Smith. She slayed the runway on a number of occasions and I think she would put up a good fight.

    Adore Delano (Season 6 & All Stars 2) 

    Now I wasn’t sure about this one as I didn’t agree with her decision to leave AS2. I could also see that she majorly went wrong in life. So I’m torn. I’d love the old Adore back, a little older a little more experienced I reckon she could easily get through to the final again.

    Courtney Act (Season 6) 

    Simply because I like nice boys to look at.

    Laganja Estranja  (Season 6)

    RuPaul’s drag race wouldn’t be the same without a shady queen to spice things up a little. And with this mix, it would get nice n spicy.

    Bianca Del Rio (Season 6 Winner)

     

     

    I’d bet money on her to win again. But these girls would give her a run for her money.

    Sharon Needles (Season 4 Winner)

    A little bit of the extraordinary is always a good thing.

    Latrice Royale (Season 4 / All Stars 1)

    This lady is my spiritual mother. The shade, the alcoholic pink lemonade and all that sass baby.

    Morgan McMichaels (Season 2)

    Another pretty one, and hopefully this time round she has some more tricks up her sleeve (if not it’ll just be fun to watch).

    Bebe Zahara Benet (Season 1 Winner)

    The first ever winner, remember her? She mastered it with low budget challenges and even worse prizes. I say give her a crack at some Series 9 level realness.

    Trixie Mattel (Season 7)

    Again the viewing value is worth its weight in pink lemonade. I doubt she would get through to the final but it would be one hell of a show.

    Chi Chi De Vayne (Season 8)

    She came 4th, that’s some serious ability (and I think she’s a dark horse, so it’ll make for good telly!).

    Kennedy Davenport (Season 7)

    Another girl that came 4th just missing the final post. She had some killer looks for the runway and again, she’d give the girls a run for their money.

    Milk (Season 6)

    I threw Milk into the mix because, well, I’m a little drunk. I wanted someone that didn’t do that well on their season (her Julia Child was just awful in Snatch Game) and that, given some time and gin, could come back and not fcuk it up.

     

    What do you think? Is that lineup shady enough do we think? Who would you like to see in the next All Stars series?

    There is currently no fixed date for an announcement on All Stars 3 we can likely expect something soon. A life without RuPaul’s Drag Race in it is a very bland one indeed. Watch this space!

  • THE UNDATEABLE GAY | It’s not me it’s them

    To quote a best friend:
    “You must be the unluckiest person I know when it comes to love and men.”

    I wouldn’t disagree with her, nor would the rest of my friends, families or readers of this column. But her pearls of wisdom got me thinking. And before anyone says anything, yes, I am capable of getting the old grey matter to work. I’m very intellectual. I’ve got a degree, you know. A line I often pull out the bag if anyone questions my intellect.

    But here I go, distracted and side tracked again. Back to what her pearls of wisdom got me thinking about. WHERE AM I GOING WRONG WITH MEN?! To be this undateable, I must be doing something not quite dateable. So I thought, let me retrace my steps. To my last two potential Mr Rights who added themselves to my long list of Mr Wrongs.

    Well, first up, there’s a man from Chiswick. I met him on Grindr. And f*ck me sideways, he actually wanted a date and not a quick bunk up on the high road. After the initial shock of being asked on a date (from Grindr), I accepted and we agreed to meet in a beautiful little pub on the river.

    As soon as I saw him, I noticed he had slightly BFG ears but this didn’t deter me. I thought, how handy they would be to hold onto when he drops to his knees. PMA. Every cloud has a silver lining. The conversation was quite pleasant and the wine flowed like the rivers of Babylon. Until we got onto the topic of Boy Scouts. I disclosed that my cub leader had been arrested for fiddling with some of my fellow Cubs.

    As I continued on in this fashion of unsuitable date conversation, I felt Joan Rivers and Pam Ann (and Sauvignon Blanc) taking over my body and my mouth,

    “I had to be questioned by the police. Luckily he didn’t touch me. I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

    I sat there, laughing and he looked at me,

    “That’s not funny!”

    “Oh”, my jaw dropped quicker than a gay boy in a football changing room. And before I knew it, he’d booked an Uber and left. Obviously didn’t appreciate my sense of humour. Oh well, at least he admitted it and for once, I had a reason for why a date had ditched me. Our sense of senses of humour were definitely not compatible.

    But as you know, you don’t keep me down for long. Not unless it involves a rugby squad and blow jobs. But that’s a story for another column. Anyway, stop the side tracking. I’m scattier than a March hare. Is that even scatty? I don’t know. I just remember my dear old Nan saying it from time to time. Oh no, it’s just hit me. It’s as mad as a March hare. Well, you get the drift!

    Back to my story of the second Mr Wrong, who once again, came from Grindr. I know you can see a pattern forming here. Well, we hit it off. We had a spark better than the new year fireworks on the Thames. Or so I thought. We were up until 4 in the morning on our first couple of times talking. And then suddenly, nothing. He did a quicker u-turn than Theresa May. But I thought, hang on a damn second. I ain’t having this so I thought, for once, I’m going to get to the bottom of this behaviour.

    So here is a transcript of a WhatsApp conversation:

    MARK: I’m really interested to know what changed for you. Because we were talking till late at night, so full on and then nothing!
    MR WRONG: I dunno. I just don’t chase people and doubt we’re compatible in the vanity sense, I don’t care about Botox and fake tan.
    MARK: But you knew about the fake tan and the Botox before you spoke to me.
    MR WRONG: Well it didn’t bother me but then it did. I can’t help it, I’m just insecure with guys.
    MARK: Well, if you’d have just given us a try, you might have had a great time. But now you’ll just carry on with your insecurity. I was there, I was willing…

    I do like having the last word. And I’ve never heard from either of these Grindr men ever again. Lesson one that I’ve learned, don’t expect anymore than a shag and an STD from Grindr. And lesson two, it’s not me, it’s them. I feel so liberated.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Do you know what a “Scally” is? Are you one?

    Here at THEGAYUK towers, among many important life and death gay related topics we discuss, it came out that one of our numbers didn’t know what the term scally was (they claim to be innocent, but I’m suspicious).

    What is a scally lad?

    So in my hunt for a decent explanation (other than just saying google it or search porn sites for it) I found that it was in the dictionary!! I did laugh at this…

    (in the North-West of England, especially Liverpool) a roguish self-assured young person, typically a man, who is boisterous, disruptive or irresponsible.

    I won’t even begin to tell you what Urban Dictionary one as and although the word is in the dictionary you only really ever see the term in gay porn (I couldn’t find any straight porn with it in).  “Gay scally gets f**ked in the changing rooms” and that sort of thing (I can assure you this was all for journalistic and research purposes).

    Does anyone remember the character of Carl Gallagher from the Channel 4 series Shameless? Basically, a scally is him. That look, that attitude, that general body shape and that fashion. You may have liked the scally look and never even noticed it. I’m glad that I can put a ‘thing’ on my mild fantasies over Carl from Shameless. Oh, the things you could do with him… ahem.

    So it got me thinking (again, some series and thought provoking stuff), are there other terms for things in the gay world that we have may have heard of but haven’t a clue what they actually are? Now as you know I’m sweet innocent little old me, so I went off with an innocent little spring in my step to do a little research. And boy what a rabbit hole I seem to have fallen down. Have you heard of any of these?

    Otter – a younger gay man with body hair with a slim body shape (that’s totally me once I’ve gotten back down the gym, said while eating sweets).
    Bear – an older gay man with (and without) body hair with a larger body shape (that’s me if I don’t back down the gym anytime soon, and yes I’m making this about me).
    Cub – a  younger gay man with (and without) hair with a larger body shape.
    Pup – a man (or woman) who, in behaviour and dress, takes on the role of a dog or puppy.
    Wolf – an older gay man with body hair with a slim body shape.
    Twink / Chicken – a young slim guy with no body hair.
    Chicken Hawk* – an older guy that ‘preys’ on Chickens / Twink.
    Snowball – to spit cum into the mouth of another.
    Daddy – an older man (or anyone over 30 according to 18-23 year-olds on Grindr).
    Gimp – a man (or woman) that has all limbs and sense restricted (can be in rubber, leather etc).

    Now, most of these I’d heard of in one form or another (I know, shocking right?). But there seems to be more and more appearing all the time.  It is almost like the more people campaign against ‘labels’ the more labels people seem to create. Others I’ve found include furries, kittens, alphas, pigs, switches etc. I could go into each detail for each one but that’s quite enough excitement for one day boys and girls.

    If someone was to call you one of these, how would you feel? I know it annoys the hell out of me when some 20 something calls me daddy on Grindr. I’m 30!! The cheek of it.

    But if someone calls you a twink, or even an otter, is that a good thing? Is it something to embrace and say “balls to it, if I’m going to be a bear I’m going to be a bear” (as an example)? I know we often don’t like labels, but are these ones just harmless fun in different communities? I say yes!

    So whatever you may or may not be (or even what you want to be), enjoy it; live it; and have fun.

    Now I’m off to do some more “research”…

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Why we should be ashamed of the intolerance and double standards of the left

    There’s much gnashing of teeth from leftists that the Conservatives are trying to hop into bed with the ‘homophobic’ DUP of Northern Ireland in order to prop up a crap minority Tory government.

    What short memories they have. Gordon Brown, the most recent Labour Prime Minister (the party has now lost three consecutive General Elections) tried and failed to strike up a deal with the socially conservative DUP during the last hung parliament of 2010. Were any leftists moaning about that at the time? The vitriol then was about Tory David Cameron entering No. 10. He brought us same-sex marriage. I married in 2015. Thank you, Dave.

    Predictably, social media provocateurs began to point out an inconsistency at play amongst the left and its relationship with socially conservative religious views. Journalist Brendan O’Neill wrote in a piece for The Spectator:

    “And all the while we have Labourites like Jeremy Corbyn mixing with Islamist groups that share all these same social views, except in an even more extreme form. Yet the people beating the streets over the DUP say nothing. What a double standard”.

    The point made is that the views of many British Muslims are socially conservative and what many would consider ‘homophobic’. It’s part of their religious tradition. Ditto the religiously-inspired views of the DUP. The left appears to find one socially acceptable but not the other. The left can rightly claim the DUP, as part of the establishment, has more political power and social influence within the UK than various Islamic groups such as the Muslim Brotherhood and the Muslim Council of Britain. But none of these groups is especially representative.

    In Northern Ireland, marriage equality, still not a reality, has overwhelming public support.

    The relationship between the hard left and hardline Islamists is not that difficult to explain. Far from being liberal, tolerant and peaceful, the supporters of the hard left, now emboldened by a Labour Party under the control of far-left extremists (who attract Communist followers who believe the wrong side lost the Cold War), have become utterly vicious towards anyone who doesn’t entirely fall into line with their ideology. Ditto the more extreme versions of Islam. Rather than focus on the DUP, we should find more concerning the British Government’s ties to Saudi Arabia, a country with a regressive regime and a Sunni majority that persecutes religious minorities, including minority Islamic sects such as the Ahmadiyya Muslims who campaign for peace and against extremism. This persecution led to UK shores, with the murder of much-loved shopkeeper Asad Shah by a Sunni extremist that shocked and appalled the nation.

    Neither the hard left nor hardline Islamist groups are all that keen on free speech. The left attempts to stifle the free press with campaigns like Stop Funding Hate, an attempt to prevent opinions they don’t like from being published. The first thing Communist countries always do is to bring the press under state control in order to police what other people think. In a similar fashion, an intolerant small minority on the fringes of Islam show a reluctance to allow any criticism of their faith; an intellectual right that ought to be taken for granted in a free society. This can be seen in, for example, the fatwa against Salman Rushdie for writing The Satanic Verses and the accompanying protests in the UK through to the protest in London organised by the Muslim Action Forum over Charlie Hebdo’s cartoons of Muhammad a month after the murder of Charlie Hebdo satirists.

    “Many of us in the gay community have been hoodwinked into thinking that the left is on our side and the right hates us; and some of us have even fallen for the idea that the political left is morally virtuous whilst the political right consists solely of bigots, racists and the intolerant. This is palpably untrue.”

    Many of us in the gay community have been hoodwinked into thinking that the left is on our side and the right hates us; and some of us have even fallen for the idea that the political left is morally virtuous whilst the political right consists solely of bigots, racists and the intolerant. This is palpably untrue. Let’s not forget that the Labour Party only last year mourned left-wing dictator Fidel Castro, who set up labour camps for his gay Cuban citizens. Jeremy Corbyn called Castro a “champion of social justice“. It’s hard to imagine many Cubans, least of all gay Cubans, agreeing with his sentiments. Cuban Gloria Estefan strongly disagreed.

    As a community, we should be more consistent in calling out political associations with homophobic regimes and ideologies both at home and abroad. There is an unhelpful tendency on the left to call out domestic homophobes, but generally only when they are white and Christian, and to turn a blind eye or fudge excuses for everything else. We should also strive to be better than illiberal far left. The ugly General Election brought up many statuses such as, “If you’re thinking of voting Tory, unfriend/unfollow me now,” on timelines. Such sentiments ought to send a shiver down the spine of someone who considers themselves “liberal”, because their views are actually those of the hard left. Anyone on the left should stop and think if they truly agree with Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell’s politics – a man who claims that the London Riots of 2010 represent “the best of our movement”.

    “We should not be unfriending or unfollowing people who have opinions we disagree with.”

    We should not be unfriending or unfollowing people who have opinions we disagree with. There are troubling moral issues with giving your vote to either Tories or Labour that must be faced with honesty. We should respect people’s rights to be free and make their own political choices, determined by their unique circumstances. Gay people come in all shapes, sizes, and political persuasions. Homophobia, alas, exists on every part of the political spectrum. Let’s at least be consistent and expect the same of our politicians, and rise above the intolerance and outrage culture the far left thrives in and perpetuates.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | They weren’t voting for a trans woman, they were voting for Sophie Cook

    As I stood on stage, a room full of expectant people looking up at me I was totally focused on the next words that I would hear.

    “Sophie Rose Cook, Labour Party, 20,882.”

    In the space of five short weeks, we’d achieved the seemingly impossible, taking a previously safe Tory seat and making it a marginal, increasing the Labour vote by 114% with one of the biggest swings in the country at 19.8 percent.

    At the start of the general election campaign, no one gave the Labour Party a chance, both nationally and here in East Worthing & Shoreham.

    The constituency had always been blue and the Tory incumbent, Tim Loughton, had been the MP for 20 years.

    He felt safe and secure that no one could ever challenge him, and I’m sure that the selection of a little-known transgender TV presenter as the Labour candidate only added to the feeling that he would increase his 15,000 majority.

    My selection caused a few waves, I was told that ‘this isn’t Brighton’ and that the people of the constituency wouldn’t warm to a transgender candidate.

    The press gave my campaign some coverage and despite being one of nine transgender candidates I was the one that got the most attention due to my profile from working in football and TV.

    “Labour candidate could become first transgender MP” said one headline whilst another mentioned the fight for LGBT rights, “Trans activist is fighting to oust anti-LGBT Conservative politician.”

    Being transgender and in the public eye, I was already used to abuse, both online and in the real world. I’d been trolled by various groups including receiving death threats on Twitter and as I stepped into the political arena I was bracing myself for a renewed onslaught of hatred.

    But then something unexpected happened.

    Instead of the abuse, I was greeted with love and support, sure there were still a few transphobic remarks online but nothing like I’d experienced previously.

    I’d heard first-hand accounts of trans people moving out of the constituency because of abuse and yet, when I started to talk to people, they responded with warmth and openness.

    My gender identity that had hit the headlines around the world seemed to mean nothing to the constituents that I met, it was never mentioned on the doorsteps, the street stalls or the hustings. The only people that made it an issue were the press, not the voters. They listened to the policies, my ideas, passion and belief and they embraced me.

    On June 8 nearly 21,000 of them chose to put their mark next to my name on the ballot paper.

    “They weren’t voting

    for a trans woman,

    they were voting

    for Sophie Cook”

    They weren’t voting for a trans woman, they were voting for Sophie Cook, they were voting for the Labour Party. They saw beyond the headlines and the things that made us different and in their way struck a massive blow for trans equality.

    We now have the most diverse parliament ever with 45 LGB MPs, I missed out on adding a T to that by 5000 votes. 

    We need transgender politicians, after all, everyone in society needs to feel represented. But the main reason why I believe that the time is right for a trans-MP has nothing to do with equality or diversity, it’s down to the constituents who put their faith in me to represent them, regardless of my gender identity.

    Since the election, I’ve spoken to hundreds of people who said that I’ve given them hope for the first time.

    That feeling goes both ways, they saw that there is more that unites us than separates us, they saw a person rather than a label, and they too gave me hope for a brighter tomorrow.

     

     

  • COMMENT | No, Tim Farron wasn’t persecuted for being Christian – he’s just a terrible politician

    Tim Farron has resigned, and he’s martyred himself in the process. Amidst a disappointing election result for the Liberal Democrats (in which they didn’t earn the dividends expected off their hardline opposition to Brexit) and questions about Farron’s ability to control the narrative around him and his party, he is stepping down.

    Farron, though, blames his departure not on any failure of his campaign but because of some imagined persecution. “The consequences of the focus on my faith is that I have found myself torn between living as a faithful Christian and serving as a political leader,” Farron said upon resignation. “To be a political leader – especially of a progressive, liberal party, in 2017 – and to live as a committed Christian, to hold faithfully to the Bible’s teaching, has felt impossible for me.” The kicker, though, was when he complained he was “the subject of suspicion because of what I believe and who my faith is in,” adding that “we are kidding ourselves if we think we yet live in a tolerant, liberal, society.”

    The sheer gall of this man.

    At the start of the general election, I wrote a piece for The Independent defending Tim Farron’s waffling on whether gay sex is a sin. While as a gay Christian I was annoyed he wouldn’t simply say “no” (though he eventually did), I pointed out that “Tim Farron isn’t standing to be Pope,” and that “if his religion stays out of his politics, which it largely does, it shouldn’t matter what he believes in church, only how he votes in the chamber.”

    “This self-pitying, self-indulgent statement from Farron proves not that Britain is some illiberal Christophobic hell, but that Tim Farron is a spineless, whinging loser”.

    I stand by this principle. But Farron wasn’t subjected to extra scrutiny because he is a Christian, nor are Christians persecuted in Britain. This self-pitying, self-indulgent statement from Farron proves not that Britain is some illiberal Christophobic hell, but that Tim Farron is a spineless, whinging loser.

    After spending the first week or two of the campaign dodging the question of whether gay sex is a sin, Farron finally came out and said that no, he doesn’t think it is. It’s reasonable to ask why, if Farron truly doesn’t believe gay sex to be sinful, that it took him so long to simply answer the damn question.

    Farron could have nipped the whole thing in the bud by answering no the first time. He didn’t. He answered “no” only after it became apparent that his campaign was in crisis. At the time I took him at his word, as did many LGBT people, including within his own party. But the persecution complex in his statement makes me wonder whether Farron ever truly believed gay sex wasn’t sinful, or whether he was himself sinning by lying to us all about that.

    Many, many Christians – myself included – do not think gay sex is at all sinful. We don’t need to waffle on about not being theologians to say so. The implication in Farron’s statement that he is being persecuted for his faith, because he wouldn’t answer about gay sex, is that the only way to be a “faithful” Christian is to follow some sexual orthodoxy that is not present in every denomination. Farron therefore insults millions of Christians who don’t subscribe to a medieval notion that same-sex sexual activity is innately sinful.

    That he seems to have lied is the only logical explanation for why he’s so hell-bent on playing the victim now and why he wouldn’t answer the question directly to begin with. Instead, Farron now pretends that he’s the victim of some anti-Christian witch hunt. But this ignores the fact that other politicians have faced scrutiny over how their faith impacted their stance on LGBT rights, too. The most famous example is probably Sayeeda Warsi, whose Muslim faith has been credited with her own spotty record on LGBT equality. In fact, the LGBT community is frequently used to pinkwash Islamophobia by the Christian right who themselves oppose advances in LGBT equality.

    It is insulting to those Muslims who actually face persecution in society to cry wolf here, and Farron should know better. Beyond this, though, it is absurd to insist that there is an anti-Christian prejudice in Britain. The state religion is Christianity, for God’s sake. The head of state is the head of that church. The BBC has a Christian programme – Songs of Praise – on every Sunday. There are Christian radio stations, Christian tv channels, Christian holidays legally celebrated (Christmas, anyone?), Christian names, Christian schools, and even Christian Bale. Hell, a Christian political party that refuses to work on Sunday is set to be the kingmaker for the next government. A country propped up by the DUP is not a Christophobic country.

    Other politicians haven’t had to explain themselves the way Farron has, despite their Christianity, and this is entirely down to him. Tim simply hasn’t handled this issue well. I’ve defended him on this before, because I don’t think he should have to answer for his private faith, but this is entirely a mess of his own creation.

    “People didn’t dislike Tim Farron because he is Christian. They disliked him because he’s a waffling, spineless elf of a man who even as he resigns cannot accept any responsibility for his party’s defeat”

    By refusing to take responsibility for it – and for the Lib Dems’ electoral disappointments – Farron is portraying himself as the victim of some imaginary puscht. It is insulting to the LGBT community, insulting to religious minorities who are persecuted, and mostly, it’s insulting to voters who rejected a frankly untalented, uninspiring politician who misjudged the nation’s political temperature. People didn’t dislike Tim Farron because he is Christian. They disliked him because he’s a waffling, spineless elf of a man who even as he resigns cannot accept any responsibility for his party’s defeat – or that maybe it wasn’t his God, but him, that voters couldn’t stand.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • What do LGBT Conservatives think of Theresa May’s deal with the DUP?

    Ahead of next Wednesday’s Queen Speech, Prime Minister Theresa May is still attempting to solidify a deal that will keep her in Number 10. It looks likely that a confidence-and-supply arrangement could be reached with the Democratic Unionist Party of Northern Ireland, but their stance against same-sex marriage and other issues have divided LGBT Tory activists.

    “There’s no point in denying that working with the DUP makes me personally uncomfortable,” said James Sean Dickson, a British-Irish dual citizen and Conservative Party Member. Dickson, however, has not resigned his membership and is a tad more optimistic about any deal struck between his party and the DUP. “It is quite clear that LGBT+ rights are not up for negotiation.” Former Conservative MP Ben Howlett – who lost his seat at the General Election – also made it clear that any deal needed to draw a hard line between the Tories and the DUP. “The message needs to be loud and clear that there will be no backtracking on LGBT issues in the UK.” He expressed an optimism that the deal could, in fact, give the government some leverage in pushing for further LGBT rights advances in the province. “I think this is a good opportunity for the UK government to negotiate a better deal for LGBT rights in Northern Ireland,” he said. “It is an opportunity the government should not pass up.”

    Chris Taylor, a party member since 1995 who served as a London Councillor from 2002 – 2014, was more unconcerned than some of his fellow party members. Taylor, who describes himself as “ideologically centrist,” says he feels, “completely comfortable in regards to any deal with the DUP.” “It is important to remember that although I do not share the social beliefs of the DUP, they are the democratically elected majority party of Northern Ireland, and were seen as perfectly legitimate prospective partners for the Labour Party back in 2010.” He pointed to Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn’s own support for Sinn Fien, the nationalist republican party in Northern Ireland, as well as Corbyn’s support for what he calls “some Islamic fundamentalist groups that advocate death to gays” as evidence of the hypocrisy around the deal.

    Dickson expressed a similar feeling on the perceived hypocrisy, saying that, “if Labour Party members are displeased by this election outcome they ought to ask themselves whether their leader should have utilised Press TV (the Iranian state-owned news channel) to air his views in the past, given the troubling Iranian LGBT* rights record.” Cautioning that, “we must not allow ourselves to be taken in by a bogeyman caricatures of the DUP,” Dickson told me that the party “is no longer the fire and brimstone expression” it once was.

    Still, the party’s record has many people nervous about what this means for the Tory brand and for LGBT rights. I reached out to LGBT+ Conservatives for comment, but they instead referred me to a HuffPost UK blog by their chairman, Matthew Green. (In the interest of disclosure, the author of this piece is also a HuffPost UK blogger.)   “Let me be clear from the outset,” Green wrote, “the DUP and some of its MLAs hold some pretty appalling views on LGBT rights.” However, he adds the caveat that “given the need for stability ahead of the Brexit negotiations,” he – and it is assumed LGBT+ Conservatives, endorse a “loose co-operation” with the DUP “to ensure that Britain is able to get the right deal as it prepares to leave the European Union.”

    Brexit was brought up by the individuals I spoke with, as well. “Even if [the DUP] wanted to, which they don’t, there is no time available to change equalities legislation given the timescale of Brexit,” Ben Howlett assured me. Chris Taylor agreed, saying that “we need to move forward, in a stable manner, [to] deliver a successful Brexit…” And James Sean Dickson also stressed that “with… days until Brexit negotiations begin, working with the DUP is the surest way to secure stability.”

    Not everyone within the party agrees, though. James Wharton, the openly gay ex-soldier and author of Out in the Army, resigned his membership from the Conservative Party last week. “I’ve left on a point of principle,” he told me. “I can’t happily continue to spend money on my membership and willingly support the party when it spends that support on partnerships with political organisations who make people’s lives less enjoyable than they might otherwise possibly be.”

    In a statement posted on Twitter and sent to his local Conservative Association, Wharton stated that, “as an active LGBT activist, proud of the direction our party has taken since 2010 where LGBT rights are concerned, I’m upset to see Theresa May establish this arrangement with an organisation so vehemently against gay and trans equality.”

    He accused Mrs May of “throwing thousands of LGBT party members under the bus.” “How am I supposed to convince gay and lesbian friends of mine to support a party so in-bed with homophobia, intolerance, and discrimination? The answer is, of course, that I cannot,” he adds.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Coming Out: I long for the day it is no longer necessary

    “I remember telling my friend Maz. Her reaction shocked me at the time. She shrugged her shoulders, said “and…”, and walked off. She didn’t care and was the first person to not make a big thing of it. I was upset at the time and wondered why she didn’t care. How dare she not make a big thing of her fabulous friend being gay”.

    Coming out appears to be a constant process. From coming out to friends and family, to coming out to every person who becomes part of my life, it seems never ending.

    I recently accepted a teaching job and as the first class approached, I began to feel nervous. Not because it was the first time I would be teaching, but because a key component of the teaching is that I am myself and open about who I am to a certain degree. That’s because the course I am teaching is helping people to train as therapists. As students, it’s important the class are open about who they are and their life experiences. It’s also important that as their tutor, I am also able to draw on my own life experiences and be open about who I am. It helps the learning process.

    As I was driving to Birmingham for that first class, I started to think about all of my coming out experiences. It started back in school with wanting to come out, but not feeling able to due to the homophobic bullying I suffered. Although I didn’t come out at school, I was perceived to be gay and therefore hounded every single day for years by bullies. It traumatised me. I felt that if I ever came out, I would be rejected and ridiculed by everyone. So I kept my sexuality a secret.

    Eventually, I did come out to some friends who didn’t go to the same school as me. They reacted positively but did make a big thing of it. Suddenly I wasn’t just a friend; I was their gay friend, much like an accessory.

    Years later, I plucked up the courage to tell my family and other friends. There was a dramatic reaction from most, and the majority seemed to want to make a big thing of it. Perhaps I wanted them to. I certainly started to look forward to people’s reactions.

    Although most people were accepting of my sexuality, there was some who could not accept it. I lost some friends and there were family members who I started to have less to do with as a result. Some of those relationships have never recovered.

    At 18 years old and coming out to everyone just for the reaction, I remember telling my friend Maz. Her reaction shocked me at the time. She shrugged her shoulders, said “and…”, and walked off. She didn’t care and was the first person to not make a big thing of it. I was upset at the time and wondered why she didn’t care. How dare she not make a big thing of her fabulous friend being gay.

    In hindsight, that was actually the best reaction I received. Maz didn’t care what I was. She cared about who I was as a whole person, and being gay wasn’t a big deal to her. I was still the same Dan that I was before.

    It was then that I began to consider my approach to coming out. The way I had been coming out to everyone I spoke to and seeking a strong reaction or some kind of validation from people was making me look like a joke. I didn’t particularly feel any better either. I was still traumatised from my experiences at school.

    Since that ridiculous coming out period, I have of course come out to many more people. Whether it’s work colleagues, new friends or women hitting on me in clubs (because I was a hotty in my younger days – a “stud muffin”, as my Dad used to say), coming out really is a constant process. I now don’t make a habit of telling everyone that I am gay, but if it comes up in conversation I casually mention it like it’s a tiny part of who I am. That’s because it is a small part of who I am, albeit an important part.

    As the first class got off to a start, my students were taking turns to introduce themselves. They had to say their name, where they are from, a bit about their life, and something interesting about themselves. Each person spoke about their partners and families. Once the students had finished introducing themselves, they looked in my direction as if to tell me it was my turn to talk about who I am. So I said: “I’m Dan, your tutor for this year’s studies. I’m 32 years old, I live with my partner, and he is called…”. I thought that if my students are going to be honest and open about who they are, the least I can do is take the lead on that.

    There wasn’t a reaction from the class. It was totally fine, at least publicly, and a non-issue. They’re there to learn, not to make judgements about their gay tutor. Again, it was the most perfect reaction. I’ve learnt over time that no reaction is the best reaction. Because being gay really shouldn’t be an issue. It should be the same as a heterosexual person talking openly about their husband or wife.

    I long for the day when coming out is no longer necessary; not that I’m sure it is necessary these days anyway. Straight people don’t come out as such, so why should gay people? Of course, we all know that life isn’t like that and we’ll spend the rest of our lives coming out to people time and time again.

    The reactions, or non-reactions, from people, have got better over time. I’m still affected to a degree by the homophobic bullying I was subjected to at school, but it’s not going to impact on me being my true authentic self. I’m Dan, I’m gay, and I don’t care what you think about that.

  • 10 Things You Know If You’re An LGBTQ+ From The ’10s

    Aah, the ’10s.

    Ofsted Adds Homophobic Bullying into Inspections

    This seemingly small act in 2012 ensured that schools took a stand against homophobia. A 2014 Stonewall teachers’ report found that “the proportion of teachers who say their school has a policy that explicitly addresses homophobic bullying has increased significantly: in primary schools from 19 percent in 2009 to 31 percent in 2014, in secondary schools from 30 percent in 2009 to 55 percent in 2014.” However, the report also states that most teachers believe there’s a lack of leadership standing to tackle homophobic bully and fewer than 1/5 teachers say their schools’ library has LGBTQ+ information books. Only 8% of primary school teachers and 16% of secondary school teachers say they’ve had specific training to deal with homophobic bullying, so while the 2012 act added homophobic bullying to Ofsted reports there’s a long way to go from there. But it’s a clear sign that times are changing to include LGBTQ+ students in governing reports and not just acknowledge the potential danger they may face but actually do something to change it.

    The Marriage Act (For Same-Sex Couples)

    Just one year later, this act was passed in England & Wales in 2013 and two years later in June in 2015 in the USA. Civil Partnerships were granted in 2004 giving essentially the same rights and responsibilities as heterosexual married couples – but why go above and beyond to instil and enforce the difference of same-sex relationships in a whole new act? Well, now gay couples can have the same legal standing of marriage as straight couples thanks to Maria Miller, the Chair of the Women and Equalities Select Committee who introduced the act. The first same-sex marriages in the UK took place on the 29th of March in 2014. Love wins!

    Ellen Page Coming Out

    Her speech in 2014 for the Human Rights Campaign was groundbreaking. It made global headlines and many praised Page for her bravery and honesty. Ellen Degeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, Adam Lambert and Ricky Martin paved the way for celebrities like Page to come out but Page’s speech covered the crushing standards of beauty the industry puts on everyone – not just young people – and how the ideology of being a certain way forces you to act a certain way. She discussed the bullying, the secrecy, the boxed-in claustrophobic feeling of being in the closet out of the toxic fear of being outed. She chastised the narrow views of femininity and masculinity and how they serve no purpose in contemporary society. She made you think and feel and cheer and cry and it was (and continues to be) one of the most empowering speeches for LGBTQ+ youth who feel oppressed by the norms and values of society. I will never forget how she talked so openly and honestly without painting everything black and white. But if you take just one thing away from her speech, let it be that you can make a difference by loving yourself. Because that’s where you start loving other people and that’s how you save lives. Not by being horrible to other people but by loving each other.

    Caitlyn Jenner’s Public Transition

    Love her or hate her, there’s no denying that the media’s attention was laser-focused on Cait after she came out as a transgender woman in April 2015. She’s not the best advocate for the LGBTQ+ community but the truth is she helped bring the limelight to transgender rights and the discrimination the marginalised group suffer daily. Many people didn’t even know what being transgender meant before Cait. Bruce Jenner, the Olympic gold medallist, showed the world anybody can feel like they don’t belong. Of course, let’s also not forget the important work of Laverne Cox, the Wachowskis and Aydian Dowling.

    The Explosion of Dating Apps

    A plethora of never-ending headless torsos at your beck and scroll. With such an endless selection of gay apps – from Grindr, BoyAhoy, SCRUFF, Adam4Adam, GuySpy, Hornet, Jack’d to GROWLr – there’s a noticeable lack of lesbian-centric dating apps. HER is essentially the only one tailored specifically for queer women. You could always just select a women-only feature on Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, etc. but why is there such a large dating market for queer men and not for queer women?

    Ginger Minj Losing RuPaul’s Drag Race to Violet Chachki

    Violet is a great queen (don’t come for me Violet stans) but Ginger, regardless of how many times she was in the bottom two compared to Violet’s safe streak, was undeniably the standout star of the season. To this day it irks me that the skinny queen with the snatched waist won over the most multi-talented comedy queen in RuPaul history. It seemed like Violet’s “redemption” arc was shoehorned in the last 3 episodes as a set-up to make her likeable. Ginger was consistently funny, heart-warming and bled her larger than life personality into every performance. I just think America’s Next Drag Superstar should be more than just a pretty face with a good aesthetic. Sue me.

    Stonewall Film

    Controversy controversy controversy. Definitely a lower point in the LGBTQ+ community. The white-washing and white saviour narrative depicted in the film, although tiresome and ignorant of real-life history, actually highlighted one of the biggest problems in our community: the glorification of white gay males. Now, Stonewall could have significantly played upon this trope in a satirical social commentary and made a point of casting mainly white, attractive males – even if it is a stretch to suppose the potential of a film that ignores a large portion of its real life history. Instead of addressing these issues, whatsoever, producer and director Roland Emmerich responded to the commentary saying, “I didn’t make this movie only for gay people, I made it also for straight people… As a director, you have to put yourself in your movies, and I’m white and gay.” There’s no logical response to the oblivious ignorance of this comment, but he didn’t stop there. He went on to claim the gargantuan failure of the box office on “one voice on the internet who saw a trailer and said, this is whitewashing Stonewall. Stonewall was a white event, let’s be honest. But nobody wanted to hear that any more.” Despite whatever twisted ethnocentric version of history Emmerich believes happened, people of colour, drag queens and lesbians (surprise, surprise, the film features one poorly portrayed openly lesbian character) all participated and played a huge role in the pivotal Stonewall Riots, don’t let this flop of a film tell you otherwise.

    The Pulse Massacre

    49 people were killed and 53 were injured in the Orlando nightclub shooting, one of the biggest mass shootings in American history. I guess it shouldn’t be this surprising that horrible, horrible occurrences like this still happen. We often take for granted how far the LGBTQ+ movement has come and all the sacrifices made to give us the (somewhat limited) freedom we have today. But it’s events like these that bring us closer together, in grief and in loss we remember and we reflect and we never let our voices go unheard. For the 49 people killed, for the 53 people injured, we must continue being unapologetically ourselves and demand the treatment every human being deserves – labels and categories and boxes be damned. In Trump’s America we can’t let anything divide us and we can never, ever forget.

    David Bowie, George Michael, Prince, Pete Burns, Alexis Arquette and Carrie Fisher

    All great LGBTQ+ icons. All taken too soon in the same year. There’s not much else to say but to remember their lives and their accomplishments with nothing but love in our hearts for each time they stood up for us.

    Moonlight first LGBT film to win Best Picture at the Oscars

    2015 may have flopped with Stonewall, but 2016 made up for it with Moonlight. Not only was it the first LGBT film to feature an all-black cast, it explored sexual identity and masculinity within the African-American community with a poignancy deserving of all its won awards. Critics and fans alike love it, which hopefully tells big execs what representation and what untold stories the worldwide audience is hungry for. Let’s continue to move forward, not backwards, and fill cinemas and awards lists with sensationally progressive films like Moonlight.

     

     

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  • COMMENT | Tory and DUP? Not so much a Coalition of Chaos but a Partnership of Peril

    Right now my eyes are tired and my heart is heavy. I stayed up all night Thursday, watching until the early hours as the results rolled in. The exit poll told us we’d get a hung Parliament but I was willing it not to be true. The votes rolled in and it all became clear; Theresa May had failed but so had Jeremy Corbyn. Let’s get this absolutely straight; Corbyn has revolutionised the Labour Party and has mobilised a generation, but he should not be taking this a win. Labour lost. Conservatives lost. Now Britain has lost.

    It’s probably easy for me to be accused of being dramatic but I had outlined clearly my views on why Labour were the right choice. But it needs to be unequivocally clear; what we’ve ended up with now is dangerous and terrifying for LGBT people. Theresa May has decided to get into bed with the DUP. This is not so much a Coalition of Chaos but a Partnership of Peril.

    But why? Let’s look at the anti-LGBT viewpoint of the DUP. In 2005, during a Hustings event, one of their candidates said “You don’t bring a child up in a homosexual relationship. That the child is far more likely to be abused and neglected.” The DUP at the time said that Jim Well’s views were not their policy but just look at First Minister and DUP leader Arlene Foster. The Irish Government were poised to lift, by a minority, the ban on Gay Marriage. Arlene Foster introduced a Petition of Concern. This is a controversial mechanism in the Irish Assembly which means that, if submitted, proposed legislation must receive at least 60% of the vote and 40% of Nationalists and Unionists must also be present to vote. Arlene Foster knew this would kill the Pro-Same Sex Marriage legislation out of the gate.

    That’s just their leader in Northern Ireland. Their representative in Westminster proposed an introduction of a “conscience clause” in the Equality Act 2010 to allow businesses to turn away LGBT people on religious grounds. This man is a Party hero.

    And what about Equality elsewhere? The DUP played a vital role in continuing to restrict Abortion Rights in Northern Ireland. The DUP are anti-abortion even if the woman has been raped, a victim of incest and even if the foetus won’t survive the birth. This is despite a Court ruling which said the ban was against Human Rights.

    So here we are now with Theresa May who has publicly declared she would “rip up” the Human Rights Act and increase surveillance on the Internet. Sure, I am all for doing our best to battle against Islamic Extremism and Radicalisation online but you know exactly what’s going to happen. They’ll start asking Internet Service Providers to keep a database of our search and browsing history. These databases will inevitably be the target for hackers resulting in millions of people’s private searches being released. What about those in the closet? And hell, what about those people that are into the kinky side of sex? I can see it now; teachers and doctors, Police and Fire Officers being struck off after their private and intimate lives are leaked online. LGBT people hiding in fear of being exposed. You only have to look at the recent TalkTalk hack to know how lax ISP security can be.

    This is why we need to get over our heartbreak and sadness about this election and actually do something. We need to mobilise even more. I do not want to hear nonsense about Jeremy Corbyn and his leadership dominating the Labour Party for the next ‘x’ amount of months. The Labour Party must now focus on strong opposition. And we must join them. I will be re-joining The Labour Party and their efforts to oppose our Government. I will sign every petition and participate in every march because now is not the time for complacency. As we head into the Pride months as we celebrate by waving our flags, kissing our partners and living our free lives we must remember the activists of our past. They did not lay down their lives for us to stay behind our keyboards and allow our Government to steamroll over years of progress. And it isn’t enough for us to only turn up to LGBT events. Our country’s women will need us too.

    So I beg of you. Take this weekend to grieve the loss. Cry to your friends, ponder the future and hashtag your anger. But when it comes to Monday, it is time to clock back in. Your country needs you, your Community needs you, this world NEEDS you. We. Will. Rise.

     

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  • What The 2017 General Election Result Could Mean For The LGBT Community

    What. A. Night.

    Defying all expectations, Jeremy Corbyn increased the number of Labour seats in the House of Commons as Prime Minister Theresa May lost her majority, leading to a hung parliament and casting doubt on Mrs May’s future as the Conservative Party leader. Right now she looks like she’s hanging on by the skin of her teeth, looking to do a deal with Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionist Party.

    This is bad news for the LGBT community. The DUP is promising to “make its influence felt” in Westminster. We should all be concerned.

    Back in 2015, I wrote about what a disaster a Tory-DUP coalition would mean for us. The DUP is deeply homophobic; they’ve blocked same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland at least four times and laid down as a “red line” marriage equality as a condition for forming a stable government at Stormont with Sinn Fien, the nationalist and pro-gay marriage party.

    That the DUP is so anti-gay that they’re willing to send Northern Ireland into political turmoil over the issue of marriage should concern everyone. Theresa May looks to form a government propped up by their 10 MPs, and this could mean a hard stop to any progress the LGBT community has made.

    The majority of Tory MPs voted against equalising marriage in England and Wales. When the Conservatives passed mandatory personal and sexual health education earlier this year, they omitted education about LGBT people and issues, despite the fact that Education Secretary Justine Greening is an out lesbian. The Tories themselves don’t have the best record of LGBT equality.

    So put them with the DUP, we can expect a real halt to any progress we’ve made over the past 20 years. Whilst education and marriage are devolved issues in Northern Ireland, the party is so deeply homophobic that it’s easy to imagine the Tories not bringing up equality votes for as long as the DUP is the linchpin in their government. Why risk losing your tenuous majority over an “identity politics” issue? Beyond that, though, the Tories are unlikely to push the DUP to enhance and equalise the rights of the LGBT community in Northern Ireland – the last legally homophobic holdout in the British Isles.

    This becomes even riskier considering Theresa May’s commitment (that wasn’t in the manifesto, by the way) to scrap human rights laws – notably the Human Rights Act – which protect LGBT rights. This is ostensibly to combat terrorism at home, but has implications for LGBT equality (for example, in the armed services). Whether the Tories would let the DUP dictate which LGBT rights protections are enshrined in UK law as we transfer EU law to our domestic books is an unknowable. But considering how much of a red line it is at Stormont (after all, they’re willing to jeopardise Northern Ireland peace to keep gay people from marrying), it’s deeply concerning.

    The Tories don’t have a good record on LGBT equality, no matter how you cut it. Yes, David Cameron introduced equal marriage, but it only passed because of Labour and Liberal Democrat votes. The Conservative Party has improved, but it’s not at the level of “ally” yet. That they’re considering going into coalition with the DUP jeopardises LGBT rights in Northern Ireland and, indeed, England and Wales as EU laws which protect us are written into British law.

    The news of the night isn’t all bad, though. Whilst some gay MPs – such as Tory Ben Howlett, who I interviewed last month – lost their seats, we look set to have at least 30 LGBT MPs in the next parliament. Gay candidates such as Wes Streeting and Peter Kyle increased their majorities, whilst Mhairi Black and Justine Greening clung on with reduced majorities – is welcome news for the community. I don’t have an exact count on how many LGBT candidates were elected, but I hope to do so by this evening.

    In the meantime, the LGBT community – like the rest of the country – waits with bated breath to find out what is going to happen to the country we love. No one knows the answer. If Theresa May does hang on, though, it is incumbent upon her to put the LGBT community’s welfare beyond her own desire for power and to make sure any deal, including with the DUP, does not sacrifice the progress we have made – or the victories we are yet to win.