Use the form below to let us know the totally and utterly annoying bisexual myths that need to be dispelled. We’ll publish your answers in a forthcoming article, so watch out for it!
Apparently breadcrumbing is the new way of completely messing with people’s minds. Especially if they’re interested in dating you, but you’re just not so into them. Breadcrumbing is how you deal with guys that you’re not really interested in, but stringing along with flirty texts anyway.
So the definition offered by Urban Dictionary is “the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (ie “breadcrumbs”) in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort,” which is kinda leading people on, right?
It can also be used for someone you have broken up with but don’t quite want to let go… or keeping a guy on hold if you’re not quite ready to date him yet.
Mobile or tech dating is just a fact of life in 2017 and sometimes it just tough to get a straight answer from someone so, like Madonna sings, “Don’t go for second best baby… Put your love to the test”.
So what happened?
Go on spill the beans!
Getting married should be the happiest, most wonderful time of your life. Sadly, it’s often the most stressful time of one’s life. It doesn’t need to be that way, though. If you’re due to get married, I’m here to help with my top 10 tips for banishing pre-wedding stress.
If you’ve been busy with planning your wedding, take some time out for yourself and your fiancé. Put your phones out of sight, turn off the television and all other technology distractions. Put on some music, pour yourself a large glass of wine and enjoy some quiet time with your partner. Allowing yourself that time to switch off and relax will bring huge benefits to your life.
This isn’t as boring as it may sound. Try this… Sit quietly and take a deep breath in for a count of four. Then exhale for a count of four. Repeat this exercise for two minutes and take notice of how it begins to make you feel. I recommend making breathing exercises a part of your daily routine to keep stress at bay.
It’s something enjoyable and the release of endorphins when in the throes of passion will put a huge smile on your face. If you’re not really up for sex, try my first tip and see if that to set the scene for an explosive, stress busting bonk.
The previous tip may have covered that slightly, but sexercise isn’t the only stress busting activity you can indulge in. Getting regular exercise is key in reducing stress levels. Even just a twenty-minute walk each day can help, but if you’re feeling more energetic, get out there and pound the streets or join a gym class. You could even put on some music and dance like nobody is watching, which is surely one of the most fun things to do. If you’re not up for much exercise, make it a social occasion and exercise while catching up with friends. Which leads me to my next tip…
When planning a wedding, it can be too easy to fall out of the loop with those closest to you. So set aside some time and make an effort to catch up with family and friends. You could involve them in your wedding planning, but I suggest putting the planning to one side and having a proper catch up with people. It’s sure to be a boost to your mood and a massive stress reducer.
Sit back and relax. You deserve it. You could even invite your fiancé to join you.
It’s a good way of documenting your life and important events, but it can also help you to make sense of your thoughts and feelings. If you can understand your thoughts and the stress you feel, you can begin to work through it and come out the other side.
Making sure you get your eight hours of sleep each night will help you to feel energised for your wedding planning. It may be tempted to stay up until the early hours of the morning sorting things for your wedding, but that just results in you feeling awful the next day and not able to function properly. You must take care of yourself.
Wedding planning is exactly that; a plan. Be sure to schedule your time wisely in order to make sure you have time for all of the other tips in this guide. Set yourself targets and deadlines, and only spend so many hours each day on the wedding planning. There are only so many hours in a day and you don’t need to spend them all planning your wedding.
It’s ok to ask for help and to delegate certain tasks to other people. Yes, you’re fabulous and can take on the world if you put your mind to it, but organising a wedding takes a lot of time and effort. You’re not Superman and don’t need masses of stress at what is supposed to be the most amazing time of your life. Don’t be afraid to ask your support network for help.
The beauty of having sex with a stranger is that it can be completely anonymous, and string free. The best part of a relationship, with the added bonus, that it only lasts one night! For those of you that have never slept with a stranger, are you starting to see the appeal yet?
NOM DU PLUME
My advice is to completely invent yourself a pseudonym, build up a whole alter ego, do whatever you like, be whoever you like and do it with whoever you want to do it with! You have to make sure though, that when you’re building up your night-time image, that you have to remember your story! Stick to the lies, you’ll thank me in the morning – never let your secret slip!
TRY SOMETHING COMPLETELY NEW
Experiment, it’s always fun to try new things! If one nighters aren’t your thing, then honey, pick up your Bible and tighten up your chastity belt, 2017 isn’t the year for you! If you’re thinking of trying it out, then do it – don’t think too much, you might change your mind! If you’re a more seasoned bed hopper though, why not embrace your adventurous side – my motto – if it’s comfortable and slow – you just aren’t doing it right!
KEEP THE DEETS SECRET
In my experience, it’s for the best that you Never Swap Numbers, once you do, you run the risk of (a) if you rocked his world, gaining a stalker (b) having to admit you lied and (c) making awkward conversation because you’re too nice to tell him to leave you alone! If you don’t feel comfortable saying no to giving him your number, and can’t make one up off the top of your head – take his, tell him your phone is dead and discard on the way home!
DON’T BE A COMPLETE DRUNK
When sleeping with strangers, it’s a good idea to make sure you watch your level of Intoxication, you don’t want to be so drunk you end up waking up face down in a ditch, with your trousers around your ankles, and all of your possessions gone with the stars! I am going to say though you don’t want to be sober either; you just won’t enjoy yourself if you are! Get yourself to that merry state, and voilà, you’re in for a night filled with filth.
WRAP IT UP
And, as ever, we at THEGAYUK always promote Safer Sex, you can never be too careful! We know that in the heat of the moment, taking the time to roll down your condom is possibly the last thing on your list, but you have to be responsible!
I hope you enjoy your night, have fun, go wild but most importantly, think P.E.N.I.S. – Pseudonym, Experiment, Never Swap Numbers, Intoxication and Safer Sex.
As I always say, don’t be a fool – wrap that tool! If you need any advice, or for more information on sexual health visit: http://www.gmfa.org.uk/sex/ better to be safe, than sorry!
So we were reading Cosmo, as you do, and we found out about a new sex position and well we were naturally interested. It’s called the “68”.
It’s similar to its slightly older brother the very famous “69”, but instead of giving both of you pleasure it focuses more on just one of you. Brilliant!
So what do you need to do?
Well, apparently the “bottom” lies on their back with their legs slightly open with their knees bent and feet flat on the floor or bed. The “top” lies on top of the “bottom” facing up with their head on the “bottom’s” thighs. It’s like a natural resting place.
Your junk should be right in your partner’s face.
Now, this could be great as a rimming position or oral sex position… Although be careful as your penis might not bend fully that way… and you don’t want to break it.
Don’t forget if you’re the top to take some of the weight off your partner’s chest, by using your elbows to take some of the strain.
It could be a sexually transmitted infection, after all, there was so many of them floating about. Medical Director at Pharmacy 2U Dr Nitin Shori told us, “statistics from NHS England show that there were more than 435,000 STI diagnoses in 2015, we may have forgotten the safe sex message”.
However, it isn’t all bad news, Nitin continues, “There are different types of STIs and some, if caught early, are easy to treat with antibiotics. Chlamydia is the most common STI in England and can be treated with antibiotics.
So according to webmd.com stinging whilst you urinate could be caused by: genital herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhoea. But stinging could also be a symptom of other problems such as kidney stones, diabetes, having an enlarged prostate, or a Urinary Tract Infection UTI – which is caused by bacteria in the urinary tract.
Cystitis can also cause pain during urination although women are more likely to be affected by this than men. It’s caused by inflammation of the bladder caused by a bladder infection. Those infections are caused by certain bacteria – like those found in your poo.
The best thing to do is make an appointment where you can be tested for STIs. This can be done at a sexual health clinic, genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic or GP surgery. Some people prefer the privacy of buying a
Some people prefer the privacy of buying a reliable testing kit online from a reputable supplier, such as Pharmacy2U.co.uk.
We’re not going to take credit for this, Dan Savage talks about doing the deed before you go out on a romantic date! Yep, get the good stuff first. If you’re planning a night out with your man – sex first. That way, on your date, you can eat to your heart’s content – and not worry about stomach or gut-related issues later on.
This position is normally called the Cowboy. The best way to control how far your partner goes in is with you on top. With you, on top, you can also control the speed of the thrusts – or limit them altogether. You can be in complete control of the movement because your partner’s range of movement will be limited.
So if you’re tired of the cowboy position you can try all manner of other positions, but try this trick. If your partner is just too long for you, you can put your hand in the way. So imagine putting his penis through your fist and then into you. That eliminates around 3 inches of his actual length. The “top” partner shouldn’t really feel any less pleasure- especially if you lube up the inside of your palm.
As you get more accustomed you can change the fist into a V shape made from your index and middle finger in front of your butthole.
Another range limiting position is the spooning position, where you lie on your side and your partner comes in from behind also lying on his side. To limit the range of thrust close your legs – as you get used to the feeling of him inside you, you can start to open your legs more.
Spending some time by yourself – prepping can actually help loosen you up. If you’re comfortable douching that will definitely get your butt more relaxed. You can try with a showerhead, however, you must be careful of water pressure and the heat of the water – or with an actual douche.
Douches are relatively inexpensive and are an effective way of making sure you’re all flushed out. Our online store stocks a great range of douches, including shower douches, which offer a much deeper and extensive clean out.
Prep can also come in the guise of using a little dildo or vibrator that you can have some fun with before the main event. You could even have two one small and one larger for when you get a little more relaxed.
After prepping yourself, why not pre-lube yourself. Don’t just wait before you’re actually in the moment, you could try using a thicker lube like the FistIt range of lubes. Using your finger take a blob of the lube and put it right inside you.
Or you could even use a lube launcher or shooter. Insert the tube and squirt away! However, make sure if you’re using a lube which isn’t water-based that it might not be suitable to use with latex condoms – always check the packaging for instructions.
If you’re going to use condoms don’t use oil-based lube, instead you silicone or water-based lubes. You can find a range of lubes from our official store.
In the end, it’s your body and your butt. If you’re not happy TELL HIM. Or as we like to say… Slow The F*** DOWN. There’s no need to rush and you should take your time. Be sensitive to your body and let go at your pace.
Whether you were squiffed out of your brain and sucked faces with a hottie while throwing shapes at East Bloc and swapped numbers, or, you woke up to discover a mystery chap in ya boudoir after a Cinzano-fuelled bender and feel the need to meet again. Or a pal has the perfect match for you and sets up a blind date. And let’s not forget Grindr, Tinder, or Scruff to name but a few.
Never meet for dinner on the first date – drinks only. If you’re staring into the eyes of Ryan Gosling and your sides hurt from his witty repartee – great, go and fill ya Paul Smith dip-dyed black-leather Claude-boots. You don’t want to be stuck in a situation where your date is as scintillating as Lewis Hamilton and you have to painfully watch him devour a couple of courses before you can scarper. Buy a round each, then off you toddle.
Nowadays, with smartphones, everyone’s David Bailey. You can filter, crop and enhance any snap taken on your iPhone or Android. A lot of men seem to have mastered this art: you think you’re meeting David Gandy and you end up sitting opposite David Hasselhoff. So come prepared for such a situation. If you’re faced with the Hoff, drop into the conversation early on that you’ve an important dawn’s crack meeting, a 7 AM military-style personal training session or you’re having your genital warts removed first thing. The two-drink rule, then you’re out of there.
You’ve executed the two-drink rule, the blind date organised by your chum wasn’t your cup of Manuka honey and Rooibos, and said date has a twitch in is trousers every time he thinks about you. After the night in question arrives the text: “Great to meet you, let’s do it again.” If you’re not interested, don’t string him along with ambiguous messages – and certainly never ignore, that’s just rude. A simple few words: “Lovely to meet you, you’re a really nice guy, but for me, no chemistry – have fun at your second-cousin-twice-removed’s wedding x”.
Job done.
Follow these three and you’ll avoid long evenings better spent watching QVC, plucking your nose hair or texting guys you don’t really fancy because your Grindr’s gone quiet.
Dr Nitin Shori is Medical Director of Pharmacy2U.co.uk, which provides NHS repeat prescription and Online Doctor services, answers,
Dear Doctor,
I’m planning to have sex with someone else who has a vagina (like me) and I want to know more about how to stay safe.
Thank you
M
Dear M
Women can catch sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) through sex or any ‘one-on-one’ contact, such as oral sex or foreplay.
To make oral sex safer, use a dental dam – a small square of very thin plastic or latex, which can be used to cover the genitals or anus. It acts as a barrier and helps to prevent STIs being passed from person to person.
You should avoid receiving oral sex if you are on your period, as menstrual blood can carry HIV or hepatitis. You should also avoid oral sex if your partner has told you they have an STI, if they have a sore throat or if they have any blisters, cuts, rashes, sores or warts around the genitals, anus or mouth, or if they have unhealed piercings in their genitals or mouth.
Some infections can be passed by touching or vulval rubbing. Wash your hands before and after sex, and use latex gloves with plenty of water-based lubricants.
If you are using sex toys, use a condom to cover them. Change the condom for each partner or between penetration of different body openings. Sex toys should also be washed with soap and water between sessions.
If you have had unprotected sex, have any symptoms of STIs or think you may be at risk of catching one, speak to your GP or sexual health clinic. Regular STI tests are a good idea, to ensure you have a healthy sex life.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
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Personally, this excites me… as I am a vegetarian.
Yep, there are now vegan condoms. So now, if you’re of a veggie persuasion you’ll be protected should you wish you slap some vegan goodness on your meat (sorry) and confine your man mayo (sorry) to the tip of a rubber johnny.
The condoms have been created by Swiss entrepreneur and chemical engineer Gabrielle Lods who said,
“In 2017, everyone should know the components and how everything they consume is produced.
Awareness is rising for certain product categories such as food or cosmetics. For others, it takes longer, but eventually it will also happen.”
So what do we know about these condoms – well they are gluten free, have no casein, are paraben free and well, vegan. Apparently, they have no taste or smell and are CE certified.
So the next time you’re looking for a condom for your salami (sorry) then try the Green Condom Club