THEGAYUK

Category: Love And Sex

  • How To Make The Perfect Proposal To Your Boyfriend

    How To Make The Perfect Proposal To Your Boyfriend

    Proposing to a loved one is possibly the single most nerve-wracking aspect of a person’s life. Whether or not you’ve discussed marriage, the pressure to get that special moment just right is enormous. With that in mind, celebrity jeweller and founder of Vashi.com, Vashi Dominguez has provided his most valuable tips for planning the perfect marriage proposal.

    gay men getting married
    CREDIT: dolgachov bigstock

    In public (a grand gesture)

    Proposing in public echoes great romantic comedies and if done right could be the most passionate moment of a couple’s relationship. Whether it’s a family occasion or using flash mobs, skywriting, theatrics, a homemade movie screened whilst at the cinema or a treasure hunt – these are just a few showstopping ways to show your spouse-to-be just how special they are in front of many and/or just in the presence of the two of you.

    Don’t: The key thing to remember is to match your moment with your loved one’s personality. There is nothing worse than surprising your partner with a grand public proposal if they’re naturally shy and/or a private person. Not only will it be an overwhelming experience for them but it also highlights that you haven’t understood their likes and dislikes.

    At Home

    Proposing in the comfort of your own home can be a wonderfully understated and intimate way to ask your partner to spend the rest of your life with you. It will take a lot of the pressure off the situation, and can be very touching especially if it’s a home you share together. If your partner is particularly shy, a proposal in a comfortable and familiar environment will have far better results than a very public display. A heartfelt speech and a home cooked meal prepared by yourself or perhaps a meal organised by a private catering and dining company for two are just a few great ideas to personalise your proposal.

    Don’t: Turn a cherished moment sour by just handing over the ring without a meaningful or romantic gesture behind it. A significant moment deserves some fanfare.

    At a special occasion

    Make a special occasion even more special by popping the question during a memorable time. Popular times to propose are birthdays, holidays, Christmases, Valentine’s Day and so on, however, nothing beats a more thoughtful and unique day experienced exclusively by the two of you. Think of unique and treasurable moments such as the day you shared your first kiss or the exact day when you realised you’d fallen in love as a perfect setting to mark such a special occasion. The more creative and sentimental – the better.

    Don’t: Never hijack somebody else’s big day like a wedding or another family event with your own proposal. You could be accused of stealing someone else’s thunder|

  • Top 5 condom brands for more pleasurable sex

    Condoms have had a lot of negativity thrown at them, for destroying the moment of passion whilst you fiddle around with lubed fingers trying to put one on, to wondering why you bothered getting excited in the first place because it now feels like you’re wearing a mini Michelin Man down there.

    Sponsored by THEGAYSHOP

    what is the best condom out there?

    However, condoms are still one of the most effective ways of preventing STI infections spreading and the makers themselves have researched and invested in new technologies to make you get the most out of your sexual experiences whilst still being protected. We’ve taken a look at 5 of the newest brands out there to make you fall in love with the condom again without losing that moment of passion.

    No.1 – The Handy One – Wingman Condoms

    We all love a helping hand in the bedroom and these Wingman condoms feature a clever plastic handle so you can slip it on with just one hand, perfectly, every time. This leaves the other hand free to continue the action whilst you seamlessly protect yourself ready for the main event. Available Here – £9.99 (12 pack)

    No.2 – The Thin One – Durex Invisible 

    Durex is one of the most well-known brands out there and their new Invisible Extra Thin condoms are both strong and offer a feeling of wearing nothing at all, letting you get as close as possible to your partner whilst still being protected. Available Here – £14.99 (12 pack)

    No.3 – Bee Inspired – LELO Hex Condoms

    Drop everything… literally. The condom really has been re-invented here by the clever team behind LELO Hex. Made up of 350 connecting hexagons, the structure gives a more sensitive and intimate sensation with a secure grip. Smooth on the outside and textured on the inside for an enhanced pleasure.

    No.4 – Fancy A Snack? – Skins Flavoured condoms

    Skins flavoured condoms are here for those who like a nibble in the bedroom. This multi-pack comes with Banana, Strawberry, Bubblegum, and Mint flavoured condoms for those who enjoy a fruity mouthful. Available Here – RRP £8.99 (12 pack)

    No.5 – Size Queen – My.Size Condoms

    If you’ve had problems fitting in then it may be because you’re using the wrong size condom. My.Size condoms are available in 7 sizes depending on the girth of your member.  Simply measure your width in centimetres, or get someone else to, and find your perfect fit. No more squeezing into a regular for you! RRP £8.99 (10 pack)

    Available Here: 47 – (9.5-10cm) 49 – (10-11cm) 53 – (11-11.5cm) 57 – (11.5-12cm) 60 – (12-13cm) 64 – (13-14cm)

  • Which country’s men lied most about their penis size

    Which country’s men lied most about their penis size

    Apparently, if you want a man to lie ask him the length of his penis.

    which men are most likely to lie about their penis size

    SaucyDates have conducted a survey to find out which country’s men are most likely to exaggerate the size of their manhoods. The site asked men their penis sizes and then asked women, “what was the size of the penis of the last man you had sex with”.

    It’s all very sciency – and of course, we’re riveted.

    So men in the United States were most likely to lie about the length – saying that their penises were 7.2 inches long – when in actuality, the women they slept with said the penises were only 6.6 inches long.

    However, the most exaggerated claims came from Austrailian men, who said their manhoods were 7.09 inches long. The women weren’t having any of it and said that the dicks were only 5.58 inches. Making them, apparently, the least honest about their size.

    ALSO READ:

     

    Only 3.6% of British men lied about their size in which they claimed that their size was 6.89 inches when in reality women thought they were more like 6.64 inches.

    It’s all very precise and we’re wondering how these women measured and what technique they busted out mid-sex in order to get an accurate measurement.

    Indian men were the most likely to undersell their penis size by nearly 4 per cent.

  • 7 fruits for a stronger penis

    7 fruits for a stronger penis

    If you’re looking for natural ways to give yourself a powerful boner you may not need to look further than your kitchen’s fruit bowl.

    fruits that are really good for sex drive

    Fruit is cheap. Cheaper than meds and far healthier for your body. Getting your five or ten portions of fruit and veg is tough, but knowing that some of these natural beauts are actually penis builders we’re suddenly interested!

     

    Watermelon

    Watermelon is packed with Vitamin C – and Vitamin C can improve your sperm count but it’s also packed with phytonutrients lycopene, beta-carotene, and, the big one, citrulline. Citrulline is particularly good at getting your blood vessels to relax, so could be fantastic for erectile dysfunction.

    Strawberries

    Strawberries are an excellent source of vitamin B, which has been linked to high sperm counts in men. Go one step further and coat them in chocolate, as it is full of libido-boosting methylxanthines! (Why do you think it’s such a popular Valentine’s Day gift?!)

    Figs

    These small fruits pack some big benefits. They are bursting with calcium, iron, potassium, and more of that stimulating zinc. They are also packed with fibre, which boosts heart health and satisfies hunger without adding to your waistline. Check out our Figgy Lavender Pudding recipe.

    Pineapple

    Pineapple contains the enzyme Bromelain, which can improve libido in men, plus if you eat plenty of this tropical fruit it will also make your climax taste better too! Find out what else can make your man mayo taste better.

    Pomegranate

    A study from the University of California found that one glass of Pomegranate juice every day could help manage erectile dysfunction. Nearly 50 per cent of those tested reported improvements with their erections.

    Banana

    Bananas are packed with potassium, great for heart and circulation + a great way to manage and control your blood pressure naturally.

    Blueberries

    THEGAYUK’s food editor Jordan Lohan calls blueberries nature’s very own little blue bill. He says, “literally little blue “pills”! Lowering cholesterol improving blood flow & circulation, leading to harder erections”. Check out Jordan’s ultimate Romance Rescue Remedy recipe.

  • Five totally rubbish ways to end things with your boyfriend

    Exit Strategies (…or rubbish my ex-partners have told me)

    Extricating yourself from a relationship isn’t easy. We’ve all been there; watching a once-promising union limping sadly towards the end, trying to fan the fire of a lukewarm love life or just living through that daily battle of trying not to slip a pinch of Arsenic into his latte. I’ve been through a few relationship breakdowns and my behaviour can be charted somewhere on a continuum that ranges from psychopathic maniac to saintly martyr. One thing I wish though is that my ex-partners had sometimes been more truthful.

    Here are my top 5 pieces of crap which have been uttered to me over the past 20 years:

    1) It’s not you, it’s me: This one is a total classic and is invariably nonsense. Of course, it was me too. I made that remark about your mother, didn’t put out as often as you wanted and was often snippy and critical. Yes, you were pretty dire at times and those nasty clothes and the penchant for 80s soft rock was hard to tolerate but let’s be honest. We both played a part in causing this once quite promising future to turn post-apocalyptic.

    2) I need to find myself: Seriously? How careless to mislay something so important. In my experience, this one always means ‘I need to spend time on Grindr and see what I can find within a 3-mile radius that is willing to take his pants down and lube up for me.”

    3) I want an open relationship: See above. This is also often the cowardly way of saying: “I want an affair or ten and you to stay at home, ask no questions but remain totally faithful to me. If you so much as brush up against another man on the tube I’ll get all psycho on you but please don’t complain when I bring home pubic lice and my phone buzzes with texts from morning till night.”

    4) I’m not sure that I’m really gay: This one was uttered by a very plausible and slightly mixed up man and got my sympathy (albeit in a puzzled way). I felt sorry for his messed up emotions. This sympathy lasted until I spotted his new Gaydar profile two weeks later in which he was seeking: ‘Young good looking versatile men who want to be pounded and give some cock back”. That’s not normally the request of someone who is feeling all hetero all of a sudden. Don’t they like fishing, football and tits? I’m not sure they’re always so keen on hard anal with another man. That desire implies leanings, to me.

    5) I love you but you’re impossible to be around: If you love someone then surely being around him or her is easy or something you’ll work to be able to do. You love them and that involves you wanting to be with them however difficult they can be. This actually translates as: “I’ve finally woken up to what a nightmare you can be and realised we’re not compatible. Don’t feel bad but I now regard you in the same light as an episode of Friends. It was once endearing, funny and I kind of liked it but now it makes me wince and wonder what the hell I was thinking.”

    I accept that honesty isn’t always good. We all need some sugaring of the pills from time to time but there’s dishonesty and there’s downright ridiculousness. Sometimes a pinch of honesty peppered with a smidgeon of tact is really the best policy of all.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • ADVICE | It really hurts after I get fingered

    ADVICE | It really hurts after I get fingered

    Dear TGUK

    Well, every time I have anal sex or am fingered it’s really fun at the time but really hurts after. Is there something I’m doing wrong or what can I do to make it pleasurable?

    Simon

    why does it hurt after I get fingered?

    Hello Simon,

    The ass is pretty darn resilient and there’s a pleasure to be had from anal sex, but there are a few golden rules to make sure you keep safe and reduce pain.

    1. It can’t be stressed enough lube is your friend. Use a good amount – and have a towel handy that you can wipe your hands, as it can get quite messy. **That** scene in Brokeback Mountain – as hot as it looks, is just not that realistic. A bit of spit and shove isn’t going to cut it. Use a good lube – and there are loads of lubes to choose from on the market. You might find that you get on with some better than others. Try the trial sizes until you find the perfect lube.
    2. Take your time. One of the most misleading things about porn is that you can’t just stick it in – and that includes fingers. You need to take it gradually. You could start off with a bit of rimming and then move on to a finger – then if that feels good maybe two. Don’t just go for it. You will cause yourself a lot of pain.
    3. Warm yourself up. You could do a bit of prep yourself before sex. Perhaps while you’re in the shower – or if you douche you could get your butt used to the feeling of a finger or two up there before you get down with your partner. Using warm water to douche could help you relax as well.
    4. Anal Training. Why not try a set of dilating anal training toys. The toys vary in size and girth. You start small and gradually get bigger as you become accustomed to the size.
    5. Finger maintenance. You say that it hurts after fingering, are your boyfriend’s fingernails ragged? If he’s got claws that a Gruffalo would be proud of it’s time to invest in some nail clippers for him. He may be, unknowingly tearing your insides – which will make the whole experience uncomfortable.
    6. Keep the action smooth. Keep the fingering motion smooth and long and thin (goes right in). He shouldn’t curl up his fingers inside you – this is going to cause discomfort. No vigorous finger jamming like he’s Donald Trump giving a speech.
    7. You could always try a desensitising spray or lube.

    So to recap: take time and use lube.

    If you’re really concerned that there’s something wrong book an appointment to see your GP.

    Have you got a sexual health or dilemma you want answered by our team of experts? Click here to let us know.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    Picture by SeanCody.com get your subscription here

  • What you need to do to score a second date with your dream man

    So you’ve met this man, you really like him and you want to score yourself a second date. Well, you’re going to have to impress him.

    CREDIT: © actualtime Depositphotos

    Here are some ways to impress a man:

    Time keeper

    On the first date, let’s start with common curtsy: be on time. He’s not going to be impressed if you’re half an hour late because you were doing your hair or choosing what to wear. Leave yourself enough time to get ready and travel to the venue of the date.

    Make an effort

    Make an effort with your appearance. Looking smart will impress a man far more than looking like you fell out of a skip. Make sure what you wear is appropriate to the venue of your first date. So there’s no need to wear a suit if you’re going to the cinema, but still, make an effort to look your best.

    Compliments

    When your date arrives, give him a genuine compliment. We all like receiving a compliment, especially if we’ve made a particular effort to look good. So your date will like this and you are likely to be rewarded by a smile and positive regard.

    Confidence is king

    Be confident, but not arrogant or cocky. Watch what you say and do. Are you talking about yourself negatively? What does your body language say about you? You need to like yourself and show that you do, before you can expect your date to appreciate, like and fall for you. Remember: you are wonderful and unique. There’s no one else in the world that’s you.

    Single focus

    While we’re talking about body language, keep your eyes off other guys. Looking at other men will tell your date that you’re not interested in him. Your date should be your focus, so keep your attention focused on him and show this by making regular eye contact.

    Have fun

    Don’t forget that you’re on a date. It’s supposed to be fun, so have fun, smile often and make him laugh.

    Give And Take

    In conversation, you should talk about 50% of the time and listen 50% of the time. Ask your date open questions to discover his interests and passions. Keep conversation light. Avoid emotive topics such as ex-boyfriends and politics.

    Be Honest

    Always be honest with you date. Trust is built on honesty. If your not honest and things go well, sooner or later he’s going to find out. This doesn’t mean you have to tell him your deepest and darkest secrets on the first date. Save intimate secrets for later on when the relationship has developed. It’s OK to tell him you don’t want do discuss certain subjects until you get to know him better.

    Be You

    Being yourself is perhaps the most important advice in this article. Don’t try to be something you’re not. It’s exhausting and won’t lead to you being happy. Any gay man who has tried to play it straight will know this.

    Expectations

    Have no expectations about how the date will go or what will happen. That way you won’t disappointed if the spark isn’t there or you don’t get on. But you will be pleasantly surprised if things go well. There are no rules, so just do what feels right.

  • These guys share what they like to compare their peens with

    These guys share what they like to compare their peens with

    Having a huge peen tends to make the owner want to compare it to things…

    CREDIT: Feel Photo Art / Big Stock Photos

    We’ve all seen those pics – probably shared over Grindr – the dick alongside the remote, the dick alongside the can of Coke etc. Well there is an entire thread on Reddit solely devoted to what guys with big dicks like to compare their equipment to. It’s quite enlighting.

    These guys share their favourite things:

    A can of Redbull

    Lining it up with what you’re about to penetrate – to see how far it will go in.

    A can of Glade

    The TV remote

    ALSO READ:

  • The dirtiest things you shouldn’t touch in a hotel room
  • 7 reasons your penis does not smell so good
  • 5 hilarious budget “Penis Enlargement” gadgets sold on Amazon

    • Subway Sandwiches

    A soda can

    and our favourite, a suntan lotion…

    Another Redditor explained that a long-distance crush sent a picture comparing his penis to a can of sunscreen and then sent a follow-up apologising for not sending one with a banana for scale. Firstly you have to commend his commitment to slip slop slap. Better to be safe than sorry.

  • COMMENT | So… when it comes to gay sex, are you top, middle or bottom?

    Top, Bottom or Versatile: Are tops lazy, do versatile guys have more fun and what is bottom shaming?

    Gay Couple
    CREDIT ©-dnf-style-Depositphotos

    So recently I have been asking a series of questions ‘for a friend’ about anal sex and being a top, bottom or versatile.

    For those that may no know, a top is someone that inserts their penis into another man’s butt, a bottom is someone who has another man’s penis inserted into his butt and a versatile, as you can imagine, does both.

    I’ve always been a top but I have experimented being a bottom in the past. But before we go on can I just have a moan to tops out there. YOU WILL NOT BE THE ONE TO CONVERT ME. The number of times a top responds with “well I’ll do it with you and I’ll do it right” when I say I’ve tried and didn’t like it. Every top seems to think they are god’s gift to bottoming and I’m sorry boys but you are not. No one knows my butt better than I and believe you me, if it’s not going in, it’s not going in (protest all you like).

    Now, where was I? Ah yes, are all tops lazy? Do versatile guys have more fun? Why do bottoms bottom?

    Before I begin may I just say that this is in no way scientific. This is just a social media poll, on a whim, usually while bored on the train to London. I asked Twitter a series of questions and mine and THEGAYUK’s followers were kind enough to respond. In the first question, 88 people responded to the question ‘Why are you a top?’

    Of those 88, 41% said it was because they liked a sense of dominance it gives them, 25% simply found bottoming too painful, 20% were fearful of an accident and 14% just saw bottoming as too much effort.

    A little bit of a mixed bag there but 45% highlight issues with going down there (pain/potential for the mess). A couple of guys even messaged me directly sharing that concern about accidents down there and even just a lack of wiring for it. And I have to admit as a top I share some of that concern. Who teaches someone how to bottom successfully? Is there a class on how to douche? Certainly, no one has ever shown me so you either google it, use your imagination or go on what friends tell you (for douching at least). That be why, as a top, myself and a few of the other guys that responded, all shared a sense of patience and understanding for bottoms (especially if an ‘accident’ was to occur).

    ALSO READ: I’m thinking about bottoming for the first time, how can I make sure I’m clean?

    As for how to bottom, everyone’s advice is just to grin and go with it. But what does that actually mean? So, again on my way into work one day, I decided to follow that up by asking twitter the question “why are you a bottom?”

    69 people replied and 54% said it was because it felt good, followed by 30% saying that they enjoyed a feeling of submission (and 14% said size concerns (too small) and 2% thought it was expected of them).

    54% said that it felt good.

    54%! As a top that has only every gotten pain from the whole experience (even after various methods) you do start to wonder if you’ve been wired incorrectly. I’ve seen partner’s eyes roll over in pleasure and that just baffles me. You clearly have something that I (and indeed 88 others) simply do not have.

    Now for others that it also baffles they seem to get jealous and a little nasty about it.

    ALSO READ: 13 myths about gay sex

    And this is where bottom shaming comes it. Almost turning the term ‘power bottom’ into a negative thing that the person should be ashamed of. Well to those people I say bugger off. As a top that knows how painful it is, if you can get pleasure from that then you crack on my sweet and be proud. I’m mildly jealous and will give you my number.

    ;o)

    We cannot all be blessed with the ‘g-spot’ it seems, and maybe that’s a good thing for world balance? If were all bottoms how would we get anything done?

    But then that brings me to my next question that I decided to inflict on the good people of twitter. I asked people “do versatile guys have more fun?”

    145 people came back to me on that one (so clearly they do). The majority 69% (teehee) said that yes they did.

    And you can see the appeal. You can insert and be inserted into and get pleasure from both. It adds variety and spice to your sex life and means you can experience a wider range of feelings.

    As for me, my mind is very much in the versatile space. In my head, I like the thought of a nice rogering as much as the next man but in reality, it just doesn’t happen. To tops (and indeed bottoms) out there that connect with this feeling in any way, I would say don’t feel like you need to be both. Enjoy what you enjoy and experiment if and when you want to experiment. Sex has always got to feel right and comfortable for you. If it
    doesn’t don’t do it.

  • How do I clean my FleshLight or FleshJack

    How do I clean my FleshLight or FleshJack

    If you’ve bought a FleshJack it’s probably become one of your favourite bedroom toys – of all time, but exactly how should you clean it and look after it?

    how to clean your fleshjack or fleshlight

    If you want your FleshJack to be ready for action for a long time to come you’ll need to make sure you clean it and maintain it properly. So how exactly should you care for and clean your FleshJack? Getting your cleaning regime right will mean that you’ll get a lifetime of enjoyment out of your toy. It’s really quite easy, so here are the top 3 ways to care for your FleshJack or FleshLight.

    1) Warm water. Once you’ve climaxed inside the toy, remove the inner sleeve and run it under warm water. Use only clean fresh water. The material will not react very well with most cleaning products. However there is a specific FleshWash made for the toy called FleshWash.

    If you need a tough clean, then you could use isopropyl alcohol. Give it a good clean through.

    NEXT: DRAIN IT

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  • Have you found love at work?

    Apparently a third of all Brits have had a relationship with a work colleague at some point in their working life. Are you one of them?

    finding gay love at work
    CREDIT: ©-londondeposit-Depositphotos

    Falling in love in the workplace can often bring with it a number of unforeseen problems, such as how the relationship works when one gets promoted and becomes a manager for their new love? If the relationship ends badly, how do you manage to focus on work or do you leave your job? What personal secrets may get spilled over the coffee machine that you didn’t want out there?

    A recent survey by Perkbox found that out of 8.85 million relationships, only 17% go on to marry or have a civil partnership whilst 1 in 7 people had to leave their jobs because of a messy break-up.

    With more of us spending longer hours at work and often socialising with work colleagues as well, it’s no surprise that love is bound to blossom at times. However, it may be worth a thought as to whether you announce your new love or not at work as 38% of bosses said they may have a problem with workers getting together and a quarter of workplaces actively said they had policy in place to discourage romantic relationships at work.

    ALSO READ: What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever been given at work?

    One thing that most agreed on is that any love life shouldn’t interfere with your work, which can often be difficult when that new love is sat opposite you giving you that cute little smile all day lo… sorry distracted there, what was I writing?