Those very funny people over at BUZZFEED’s created a video is actually all about straight men, but we know that we also often want to ask most of these very same questions on our first dates.
That’s if we only had the balls too do so!
Category: Love And Sex
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10 Signs You’re Falling Out Of Love
For many, love is a fantastical thing that erupts sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach and more than a few uncomfortable boners. But
Falling in love can be magical. Falling out of love can suck.
Here are 10 telltale signs to look out for:
Cute Habits Turn Into Annoying Pet Peeves
All those sweet enamoured things they used to do, like holding open doors for you or putting their arm around your waist when you walk, slowly but surely become mind-numbingly infuriating. The little things that used to make you swoon now make you groan. More so, you find yourself actually looking out for these little ticks that fuel your anger and frustration rather than turning a blind eye.
You Seek Out Conflict
Picking fights used to be this grand, scary event that you’d mentally prep yourself up for beforehand. Now? Not so much. Bickering and arguing are practically the bread and butter of your relationship. The slightest of inconvenient occurrences can feel like the heaviest of set-backs. Did he forget to tell you he was seeing his friend tonight? Of course, he did, he’s so inconsiderate. Sound familiar?
Other Couples Highlight Your Insecurities
Double dates or group hangs just remind you of what’s missing in your relationship. You can feel the palpable envy in the air when a couple who can’t keep their hands off each other begin sucking face in front of you. It’s a gut-wrenching feeling to realise the infamous spark is gone and it feels better to stick your head in the sand than have your nose rubbed in it. Chances are if you’re jealous of another couple, it’s because they have something you don’t.
A Future With Them Is Unrealistic
Planning stuff together a week in advance makes you iffy. Thinking about a long-term future plan with a picket fence and kids makes you nauseous. It’s just not realistic to daydream about backpacking together or lounging on a matching set of towels together and still have it be fun. Or even tolerable. If that much time away, with only the two of you, makes you shiver then what’s the point in being with someone?
Saying Empty “I Love Yous”
Once more, with feeling. Three words that tingled your spine the first time you dared to whisper them into his ear. Your friends made such a big deal out of it. Truthfully, when you mumble them into the phone now it’s more out of habit or courtesy than love. They ring hollow, devoid of the fiery passion they once held. If they say it back in the same monotonous tone, odds are they’ve probably fallen out of love too.
A Relationship Just Isn’t What You Need Right Now
Perhaps other priorities have risen, be it a new career opportunity or needing to take care of a sick relative, and the sad yet honest answer is simply what’s written on the tin. A relationship isn’t your priority or necessarily even what you need. We all know how we love to think we know what’s best for ourselves. But it can be a bitter pill to swallow and admit. Maybe you rushed into things. Maybe you didn’t consider what you wanted out of the relationship. Maybe you don’t need to be in a relationship right now and that’s okay if you communicate it to your partner and not let it fester up and snowball.
You Care About Them… As A Friend
Attraction is important in a relationship. It’s not everything but it does play a pivotal role. If that attraction were to burn out, what’s supposed to be left is mutual respect and trust… right? So where do the distinct lines of friendship and relationship end? Attraction is a pretty good indicator. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner that ends up feeling like both a friend and a lover, congrats, but if it leans towards platonic (and let’s be honest, you know when it does) rather than romantic then that’s pretty self-explanatory.
The Thought Of Breaking-Up Isn’t Heart-Breaking
A long time ago, losing your significant other would absolutely crush you. Three to four months of mourning, minimum. Ice cream and tears galore. What springs to mind when you think about it nowadays is… meh. Not only do you find yourself caring less and less if you’re with them or not, seeing them doesn’t make your heart pitter-patter anymore. It wouldn’t shatter if he left for good, either, and if that’s the gospel truth well then that’s a pretty darn good sign.
He Doesn’t Satisfy You Anymore
There are plenty of things to do to spice up your sex life. Whole books are written on the topic. But if your relationship is suffering its very own mid-life crisis, it’s very likely that what used to be there isn’t anymore. Perhaps that’s where the jealousy of other couple stems from; sex is no longer pleasurable or as exciting or fun as it used to be. Tearing each other’s clothes off used to be common practice. If you’ve scheduled out a mandatory coitus sesh every Sunday night, and the thought of snacking afterwards is the only driving force to your climax, then it’s a pretty clear indication that the love part of your love-making is existentially dead.
You’ve Fallen For Someone Else
The ultimate sign that you’ve fallen out of love: being in love with someone else. Of course, this last sign only applies to monogamous couples. To have someone’s undivided devotion is wondrous. What can end up stinging the most, however, is finding out the hard way that’s not the case. People don’t like hearing it but there’s no easy way around telling someone you’re in love with someone else. Coming to terms with it yourself is a good starting point.
If any of these ten signs ring true, maybe you have a few things to consider. If not, cherish your love (or your singlehood!) and let’s all agree that love is simultaneously the biggest mystery and wonder of the world.
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Have you got a relationship dilemma that you’d like some advice on?
A problem shared is a problem halved, so they say…
We’ve a team of wonderful experts who can help you sort out some issues, whether they be sexual, emotional or just general life. So go on, ask away. There’s no judgement, you don’t have to give us your name and it can be completely anonymous.
You will be taken seriously and we will listen.
Maybe… your boyfriend has given you an ultimatum?
What about that weird discharge you’ve been getting?
Have you been feeling unlucky in love?
Is there something you’re afraid of about sex?
Use the form below to get some answers and keep an eye out for our articles.
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Want a Stronger Penis? Then drink more Coffee
Your daily cup of Joe could keep you up in more ways than one. A 2015 study from the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston suggests that caffeine could reduce your likelihood of having erectile dysfunction (ED)
Researchers found that guys over the age of 20 who consumed the caffeine equivalent of 2 to 3 cups of coffee a day were less likely to report ED issues than men who steered clear of the stimulant.
The connection was strongest in overweight guys, says study author David Lopez, Dr.P.H., M.P.H., but he plans to dive further into how the caffeine/ED link can affect different weight groups.
Co-author Dr Run Wang added,
“Caffeine has properties similar to ED drugs like Viagra. The stimulant triggers a series of effects that cause the arteries in your penis to relax and your blood flow to increase—both keys to a strong erection”.
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Watch these straight guys try to explain gay sex toys
Have you ever been in a sex store and seen an interesting looking toy and were too shy to ask the sales assistant what it was?
(We have!) Then you will like this video from funny gay vlogger Davey Wavey who asked a bunch of (hot) straight guys to try to explain what they thought of a whole selection of ‘toys’ that we gay men love to play with. The results are hilarious and quite illuminating.
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Davey finds his g-spot on camera
So have you found yours yet? The male G-Spot that is.
This is the question that internet legend Davey Wavey has been asking himself, so he enlisted the help of two friends, adult stars, Derek Maxum and Calvin Banks, to go on a search for his prostate.
Legs apart Davey delves in and quiet quickly finds it.
As Calvin explains it’s about two knuckles in and feels a little like a walnut. Want to know how to massage your prostate check out this video.
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Three things you need to do if you move in with your boyfriend
The concept of nesting with your long term boyf can be about as appealing as being stranded with Katie Hopkins in Halifax’s ASDA car park.
CREDIT: Wavebreak Media Ltd bigstock Sharing ya feng shui-ed, Versace Barocco gold leaf and Royal Blue wallpapered boudoir on a permanent basis. Coming home to that bouncy and easily excitable person every night. And of course dividing the responsibility for buying the loo-roll, Lurpack and lube. The colour can drain from a relationship quicker than a pair of over-washed Primark jeans.
Once you’ve stumbled across that compatible stud-muffin and Cupid’s arrow has been firmly wedged deep inside your person – living together is inevitable for most.
Here are three tips from an experienced nester six months in.
1) When your 70 squid pot of face firming cream gets mistaken for Anusol, look on the bright side. It’ll be a smoother ride for you in the long run.
2) Bottom burps can lift spirits at dawn’s crack. If your partner lets a cheeky one slip first thing, don’t curl your toes in repulsion. Embrace said puff and giggle away your morning blues.
3) Hire a cleaner.
Take these three gems onboard and look forward to a more harmonious, homo home life.
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10 of the worst AF pieces of relationship advice ever given
When it comes to love, lust and relationships of all forms, it can seem like you’re lost in a darkroom. We all need the occasional nudge, pull or poke in the right direction.
You might run a multi-billion pound conglomerate, command an army-like workforce, or parade your beautifully ripped, baby smooth torso behind a bar while pulling pints in Soho. But when it comes to matters of the heart or ya lunchbox, logic can dwindle away quicker than Nick Clegg’s popularity.
So, you turn to your fruit flies, closest gay chums and family members – your confidants for guidance.
But no one’s perfect, even your bestie can lean you towards a Roberto Cavalli, over-embellished multicoloured-silk shirt when all you really needed was a Tom Ford, classic-fit high-collar stand-barrel-cuffed.
THEGAYUK asked ten gay men and one lady – who says she’s practically a gay man – what’s the worst relationship advice they have ever received. Here’s what our boys, and girl, had to say:
Jack Rigby, 22, Junior Architect
ACT ELUSIVE“A hot guy who rode motorbikes asked me out in Uni. Being the blushing virgin I was, I hadn’t a clue how to play the situation. I asked my best girlfriend at the time for advice. She told me to tone it down and act mysterious. I never saw him again.”
Michael Bates, 46, Property Developer
FOLLOW THE RULES“My memory of the worst relationship advice relates back to a period in the late nineties. There was a book called The Rules, which my straight friends read to help with their relationships. The book gave a series of guidelines in creating a relationship. For example, if a potential partner rang you for a date, then the rule was that you only rang him back after 3 days to confirm. For me ‘The Rules’ was disastrous. Quite frankly, it was ‘a crock of shit’. It taught me that there are no rules. Just be you – just be yourself.”
Roy Hollywood, 53, Music Teacher
SHARE YOUR FANTASIES“My worst relationship advice: Share your secret fantasies with your partner. Dreadful advice – they’re secret for a reason – keep them bottled up.”
Marc Davies, 29, Advertising
BREAK IT OFF“Worst advice I ever had was from one of my best friends, who flat out said: ‘break up with him’. This was only a few months into the relationship. I didn’t, and we worked through it. Honesty, and speaking about your problems can fix a lot. Don’t run. We ended up together for over three years. The actual break-up is another story.“
Gregory Gerot, 37, COO Broad Group International Consulting
SEX IS NOT IMPORTANT“I was having a few issues with my partner. One night outside a nightclub my friend said ‘Darling, I know you love him but you need to have an open-relationship if you want it to work’. I didn’t take the advice. Five years later and we’re still together and happier then ever.”
Adrian Moore, 52, Funeral Director
PROPOSE DRUNK“The worst advice I received was a few years ago, from an extremely frustrated individual: sex is not that important”.
Steve Braganca, 38, Project Manager
WRITE A LIST OF PROS AND CONS“I was going out with a really nice guy, but there were a few issues. I was young (and stupid) and was advised to write a pro’s and con’s list about each other and discuss it over a drink. He stood me up and texted later saying the list showed all my negatives and couldn’t be arsed to see me again. Lesson, never write a pros and cons list.”“‘Also, with a different guy, I was advised to ‘play games’ and ignore his calls and texts to make myself appear less keen. It didn’t work, as he became less interested and accused me of playing games.”
Lee Brobson, 24, Optical Consultant
DRINK… LOTS“I didn’t know how to act around my new boyf. My close friend told me to become a drunken mess and go wild so he’ll know what to expect. It didn’t last long – funny that.”
Girish Divan, 39, London Fire Brigade
OPEN UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP“My boyfriend’s best friend convinced me to propose when I was drunk last year at his birthday.”
Michael Woodhead, 30, MI Web Developer
DATE LOTS OF PEOPLE“A friend told me to date lots of men at the same time, because it stops you from focusing on one person. If one goes quiet, you’ve got other options. For me, I found this didn’t work. I kept making comparisons, I stopped putting in any effort and never really got to know any of them.”
Nina Bass, 42, Healthcare PR – practically a gay man
ONLY MARRY THEM IF YOU WANT TO TEAR OFF THEIR CLOTHING EVERYDAY“As I stood meringue-clad facing my imminent husband-to-be at the altar, the kind, rather nasal vicar proffered his number one golden rule for any couple; ‘never go to sleep on an argument.’ Wise words but not what he should have said. He should have asked; are you madly, passionately in love with this man? Does the ground move when he walks into a room? Do you want to rip off all his clothes and run out the church together? Sadly, an acrimonious and lengthy divorce followed.”
We can all learn from the above. Trust your gut, and never propose after a skinful.
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Top 10 albums which are total sex albums
It’s the age old move to set the mood set for a bit of hot love making. The smooth movers amongst us, will already have a playlist on standby as soon as the bottle top has been popped and the lights have been set for the evening’s entertainment. Here are our TOP 10 albums to SEX to.
10. One of the sexiest albums around has to be JANET JACKSON’S VELVET ROPE:
Queen of sexy music takes us through a bump and grind of an album and at times it almost feels as though she’s in the room with you… Key tracks: ROPE BURN / TOGETHER AGAIN
9. SUFJAN STEVEN’S – ILLINOISE:
Make a welcome bed buddy, with a gentle vibey 70 minutes of music. Doesn’t have any major beats within the music, but it’s soft, lyrical and Sufjan’s voice is sexy – you almost wish he was singing to you.
8. ADELE 21:
Certainly makes an impact and sets the tone. Soft and easy on the ear – 21 certainly doesn’t distract from the mission at hand. KEY TRACK: SOMEONE LIKE YOU
7. QUEER AS FOLK – SEASON FOUR – VARIOUS ARTISTS:
Ever see the US version of QAF. If not you’ve missed out. The music from the series is outstanding and the compilation is flawless for a bit of pawness! (plus you can act out your favourite sex scene from QAF – are you into rimming???)
6. DAMIEN RICE – 0:
Is always a favourite artist choice. His music gently adds atmosphere without taking away from the moment. Like candles and incense. The man has a seriously sexy voice and the music drips emotion, perfect for a softly, softly love making session.
5. Can I hear you get DIRRTY? Oh yes, no Sexy Album List would be complete without our Dirrty mistress Christina’s STRIPPED.
This landmark album entered our CD collection in 2002 and is probably the most played. It superbly fits a sexy session, anytime, any day with enough beats and slow downs to keep you both going for the 70 minute length of the CD. (Oo er, a 70-minute session – we’re tired just at the thought!)
4. AIR – MOON SAFARI.
This is some seriously sexy music. The French duo takes the listener to a place that’s smooth, sexy and sublime. KEY TRACK: SEXY BOY (Obvs!)
3. ALICIA KEYS – AS I AM.
Turn the lights now and let this smooth voice take you away. This voice is like getting high on dope (not that we know) but we imagine that’s what it’s like. KEY TRACKS: LESSON LEARNED, LIKE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.
2. WEEDS SOUNDTRACK VOLUME 2 – VARIOUS ARTISTS:
This is an eclectic mix of songs from artists like Fern Jones (Strange Things Are Happening) To Regina Spektor (Ghost of Corporate Future) All together this album packs a nice, sexy smooth pace. KEY TRACKS: HOLLAND – SUFJAN STEVENS, JENNY OWENS YOUNGS: ***K, WAS I.
1. JAKE HOOK – SXY.
Believe it or not, this EP was written about sex and believe it or not it was written by our very own Editor and Chief, Jake Hook in 2007. It’s 31 minutes long and takes you on a journey from “Crave” (when you really want it) to masturbation (Satisfied?). All good stuff TBH and it’s free to listen to on Spotify. -
ADVICE | After a nonconsensual sexual act, I’m worried I might have an STI
After a nonconsensual sexual act, a reader is concerned that he might have an STI.
Doctor Nitin Shori, Medical Director of Pharmacy2U.co.uk, answers.
Dear Doctor,
A man recently put their mouth on my penis for a few seconds before I told them to get off. It was not exactly consensual. I have a boyfriend and I am very worried the guy could have passed on an STI to me. Are the chances of doing so very low seeing as it was only a second or two and it was receptive? Thanks
Thanks
First of all, it’s never OK for someone to engage in any sexual practice with you that you do not give your consent to. Forcing someone to engage in sexual activity without their consent is a crime – it’s sexual assault/rape.
If you have been a victim of a sexual attack and want to report it, call your local police or 999 if an emergency. You can also get support from organisations such as Victim Support or The Survivors Trust.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be passed on through oral sex. The STIs that are most commonly passed on through oral sex are gonorrhoea, genital herpes and syphilis. However, all STIs can be passed this way. Receiving oral sex is often safer than giving oral sex, as you are less likely to be exposed to genital fluids.
Many people do not get any signs or symptoms that they have been infected through oral sex, so if you are worried, it is always worth getting tested by your GP or local sexual health clinic. To protect yourself against infections during oral sex, use a condom or dental dam – a small square of very thin plastic or latex, which can be used to cover the genitals or anus.
Avoid oral sex if your partner has an STI, has blisters, cuts, rashes, sores or warts around the genitals, anus or mouth, has a throat infection or has any unhealed piercings in their mouth or genitals. Regular STI checks are a good idea, to ensure you have a healthy sex life.
Have you got a question?
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Ten Tips To Make A Flawless First Impression
First dates, they can be the makings of a fresh new romance or your very own horror movie. Okay, so that might be a bit of an overstatement, but they can certainly make or break the chances of a potential future with someone. As unfortunate as it might be, these scenarios – whether they play out good or bad for the individual – are one of the very few things that tie us all together.
https://giphy.com/gifs/fabulous-hair-flip-shrek-wMqzS9qqe6X2E
There’s a reason first dates are nerve-wracking but follow these ten steps and you’ll be sure to make a lasting – and outstanding – first impression.
(You can thank me after the third date.)
10 – Think Outside The Box
There’s no need for dinner and a movie to be the only potential first date option. Get out of your comfort zone and do something a little different to leave a lasting impression on that special guy.
9 – Dress To Impress
Put away that ancient Tee and actually button up to be remembered. The right guy’s going to be worth that extra effort. Iron that shirt, polish the shoes, and don’t forget to run a brush through that hair, it’ll be worth it in the long run.
8 – Have Fun – But Not Too Much Fun
There’s nothing wrong with a little Dutch courage, but make sure to remember where the line is. Much like you will want to remember the date, he probably doesn’t want to be babysitting a stumbling drunk so maybe keep it to a four-drink maximum.
7 – Don’t Do ALL Of The Talking
Dates have a way of including two people for a reason. Just try to remember that it’s not all about you, no one likes a loudmouth whose favourite topic is himself, so ask some questions, and make him feel like the center of attention every now and then.
6 – Find Some Common Ground
It doesn’t matter if it’s music, movies, or your mutual love for sausage … dogs. Once you find something you completely agree on the conversation will start flowing without any effort at all. It’ll always give you something to fall back on too.
5 – Cover The Fun Stuff – But Leave Out All The Rest
Unless it’s especially important to the both of you, it might be best to avoid anything political or even remotely controversial. You’ll have enough time to cover your stances on Brexit, Gay Rights, and the Pro-Life movement, so let’s not use up all the fun topics on the first date.
4 – Be Witty.
Think Tina Fey, not Chandler Bing. The class clown is all well and good in small doses, but no one wants to be stuck on a date full of constant one-liners and immature observations.
3 – Avoid All The BURNING Questions
Top or bottom? STD Free? Much like the politics, you have more than enough time to find out these things about one another. While the answers might sway you one way or another – I’m not going to judge what’s important to you – those issues can definitely wait a few dates.
2 – Leave It On A Good Note
Like Mama said, “No one’s gonna’ buy the cow if you give the milk away for free.” This one will change from date to date, and person to person, but judge the situation well and leave it in a way that both of you will be happy with.
Lips were made for more than talking, after all.
1 – Be Yourself
It’s cheesy and overused, but it really is the most important thing to remember. You need to find someone who likes the real you, and there’s only one way for them to get to know that awesome guy.
Remember, confidence is sexy.
