Has your penis started to bend or curve at a strange angle? Is intercourse getting painful?
A small percentage of men find that their penises will start to bend or curve, Jackie Hall, Health at Hand operations manager at AXA PPP healthcare gives us some insight into the condition known as Peyronie’s disease.
About 5 percent of men over the age of 50 will develop a condition of the penis called Peyronie’s disease. This is a benign but potentially emotionally upsetting condition in which scar tissue develops on the shaft of the penis sometimes resulting in a penile bend noticeable with erections.
This can lead to sexual dysfunction with in some cases the affected man avoiding a sexual relationship altogether.
A proportion of affected men will find erections and intercourse too painful although others will simply notice a lump on the shaft of the penis or a minor painless penile bend which does not cause too much trouble.
Unfortunately there are no really effective cures for this condition, however, we recommend visiting a GP for a more detailed assessment.
Millions of Brits would happily celebrate a big windfall – by ditching their other half, a study has revealed.
Researchers who carried out a detailed study found more than one in four would leave their partner, with some blokes admitting as little as £100k would be enough for them to walk away.
One in 50 would even be willing to cut ties with their SO for less than £50,000.
It also emerged men would be more likely to be tempted to run back to an ex once they strike gold, while women would prefer to elope with someone superior to their current squeeze.
The Lottoland study explored the effects a big cash prize has on the morality of coupling Brits, ahead of this Friday’s £116 million EuroMillions Superdraw.
A Lottoland spokesman said, “Everyone has their price, and it’s something that most couples will have at least considered in jest – ‘What would it take to break us up?’
“In that sense our findings are quite reassuring.
“However, dealing with huge sums of money like this week’s EuroMillions jackpot, Brits will apparently be tempted by the dark side.”
Return to ex
Happiness with an ex? One in eight would return to an ex if they were to come into a windfall the study found. The research seemed to suggest that men thought that a cash injection would help the relationship second time around.
The study also found one in eight theoretical winners would consider returning to an ex-partner with their prize money. Their reasoning was that a huge wad of cash could help the relationship run more smoothly the second time around.
Rather than trading in their lover for loot, one in ten would use the money instead to improve their partner in some way.
Of those who said they would dedicate funds to bettering their beloved, 31 percent said they would pay for plastic surgery to make them more attractive.
Easier on the eye? A massive one-third would buy their SO a new wardbrobe if they were to come into a lot of cash…
And one-third would buy them a new wardrobe so they are ‘easier on the eye’.
One in four would shell out on a premium gym membership to buff up their betrothed.
And one in ten would check their spouse into counselling to tune up their personality.
One-third said they believed a large windfall would actually improve them as people, but one in eight felt a financial injection would ‘corrupt’ their partner.
The study also pinpointed the exact amount of money it would take for good-natured Brits to start turning to the dark side: £31.5 million.
However, when putting a price on true happiness, loved-up Brits came up with a lower figure to bring them contentment: £22.3 million.
Around one in ten would trade it all in for a £1 million wad.
Ever wondered why it hurts when you’re having sex?
Partner not being patient
There’s no rush and it’s not a race, so STFD (slow the F down). It can take time to the receptive partner ready – regardless what you see in porn, or that infamous spit and shove scene in Brokeback Mountain – you shouldn’t really just start ploughing – you could cause damage. The more effort you put in at the beginning will pay dividends for the long play.
Piles
You might have them not even know about it. Some piles are inside you – and you won’t even know that they are there until – pop! People who have piles complain that they are itchy and stinging. If you have that sensation it might be worth getting some medical advice – and lay off the anal sex for a few weeks.
If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.
You have a sexual health issue
STIs can play havoc with your private parts causing untold itches, stinging and throbbings. If you’re sexually active go get checked out at your nearest sexual health clinic.
You’re not relaxed
Again take it slow. The anus is not self-lubricating and needs a little attention before your partner can go full steam ahead. Make sure you spend a little time on foreplay. And make sure there’s lube – plenty of it.
A lot goes into that 2-minute clip you watch on Twitter!
Doesn’t it all just seem a bit too easy?
Ramming it in
Okay, whoah there cowboy – unlike in porn, you can’t just ram it in – unless you want a bitch slap that would make a Dynasty diva look like a Carebear. Tops – be kind to your bottom. Warm that lad up. Ways to get the fires burning include: fingering, rimming or what we call the Push N Pop are all good ways to get started… oh if you’re wondering a Push N Pop is where you put a little bit in and then taking it out again.
Oh all of the groaning
So much groaning – all the groaning… It’s like the less relaxing, hornier version of Whale song. Okay here’s the thing, some guys aren’t moaners and groaners. Some find it embarrassing – but you can do a bit of dirty talking. If you’re wondering what to say, check out some of our tips on what to say during sex.
Going at it for hours and hours
Some porn scene seems to go on for ages, which they actually do. Remember you’re seeing edited highlights. The actual scene probably lasted hours but these guys take a long time to warm up – and use a tonne of lube… which takes us on to the next point?
Where’s the lube?
So sometimes you see a top giving a quick dash of lube on the end of his Johnson – and maybe the bottom gives his ass a sniff of ID – but wait – you need waaaaay more than that. Get yourself a big old bottle of lube and keep it handy – next to the bed so you can keep on going.
Tired tops
It seems as those these tops can keep on going for hours. You definitely need to build up your stamina if you’re going to be a top that can fulfil a Power Bottom‘s needs.
Abtastics
How is it that almost every guy in porn is white, hairless, slim and or muscled? It’s such a narrow view of the world. In life such conformity doesn’t exist – we are all shapes and sizes, colours and some are actually hairy AF – which is cool.
Rarely do you see mess (and by that we mean poop) in porn – and probably, that’s a good thing. Actually, that’s a really good thing, unless of course scat is your thing. The body has a habit of doing things – and making sounds at the most inopportune times. Such is life. You can laugh it off – or go grab a shower if things get a little too messy.
Window shenanigans…
There’s a lot of porn going on in windows – which is fine if you’re on the 38th floor looking down 5th Avenue – not so good when your outlook is poor old Mrs Greeves from number 46 – doing her knitting. Won’t somebody think of her cats.
Everyone’s so big…
It seems as though you can’t work in porn unless your penis is big enough to give you a mild fainting feeling every time you get an erection due to substantial blood loss. What is with that – what about the normal size… you know this one…
It’s so easy isn’t it… being totally basic on a dating app – we’ll here are five tips on how not to come across a complete pratt on Grindr.
Do… Use your best pic
Dig deep into your Facebook tagged photos and find a nice when in the sun with a cocktail and a decent backdrop. If you’re stuck for choice, perhaps do what every other Grindr user does and take a selfie in the mirror of your local gym changing room. That way, at least everyone knows you keep fit.
Don’t…immediately send a dick pic.
Striking up a conversation via a picture of your penis is like Victoria Beckham singing – sin against nature. Sending a blurry photo of your willy is not going to make anyone think “Let’s go Prezzo”. If you, for whatever reason, have an urgent need to send one, do it after at least a day of conversation and, as with your profile picture, make sure it is the best it could be. I’m talking about the right angle and the right filter – no one wants a photo with dodgy lighting.
Do…be grammatically correct.
“Hello, how are you?” sounds far better than “hey, u alrite?” so make sure to use your best grammar when trying to secure a date or even a bit of fun. No one is going to be enticed to have sex with you when you chat like a 14-year-old on MSN.
Don’t…slate gays in your bio.
“I like my men to be men”; “straight acting guys only; “if I can’t see your eyebrows then I don’t want to see you”. When devising your bio, try not to come across as a wanker. Some gay men decide to be their own enemy and it doesn’t exactly scream, “date me”.
Do…wear a condom.
Let’s be honest – most gay dating apps amount to anonymous sex with someone you’ve never met before and don’t really know much about except for the size of their penis so, let’s be clear, condoms are absolutely essential.
So studies have found that British willies are average. Just average guys!
Now according to Mandatory.com average erect penis sizes have been collected and collated from 80 countries across the world and a table of length has been drawn up. Someone clearly had a very productive day in the graphics department. So where was the UK’s placement? Well, it’s exactly average. You see that orange column – yep we’re in there. Not even in the yellow… and you can forget the green column.
The longest average erect penises are apparently in the African country of the Democratic Republic of the Congo (7.1 inches) and the smallest are in North Korea with 3.8 inches.
The average of the averages is 5.5 inches and that’s exactly where the UK is, beating the likes of the US (5.1 inches) and China (4.3 inches) but drawing with New Zealand, Ukraine and Canada.
According to Mandatory.com the correct way to measure the penis is from the tip of the penis to the very bottom of the pubic bone and apparently, only 3% of the world’s men have a dick over 8 inches. You can watch David Wavey just proper instructions here.
We can’t actually believe someone was paid to measure all those dongs…
This week a reader asks whether urine can stop an STI infection.
Dear Team
I was having a chat with a friend who told me that you could stop an STI like Chlamydia, by using your own urine. He suggested that after having sex, you try to pee but block the end of your penis with your foreskin or just block the hole and it will stop Chlamydia.
Is this true?
Tom, Deeside
Dear Tom,
This is not true and please don’t try it. It’s a bit like the myth that says if you pee immediately after sex you’ll not catch or be infected with an STI – such as Chlamydia. It has not been medically proven to work.
Not only will this not stop an infection, but you could cause real troubles for your penis (and cause irreparable damage) if you block the entrance to the urethra – the tube where the pee comes out of. Think about what happens to a balloon if you overfill it… now think about the tube in your penis… Yep.
The only thing that is going to stop the spread of any infection is a good safer sex plan! As Pam Ann told us, “if it’s not on… it’s not on… Condoms and regular testing at your nearest sexual health clinic. Some clinics offer at home testing kits so make sure you get yourself booked in.
Have you got a question you’d like to ask our experts?
Want to give your lover some truly unforgettable bodywork?
Many couples enjoy the pleasure and intimacy of erotic massages as foreplay. As well as relaxing the recipient, a strong, explorative, erotic massage can also have real, noticeable benefits for the giver and for the couple as a whole.
Four reasons to start sex with a massage
• It strips away boundaries in a natural, unhurried way, building a real connection and singularity between both lovers.
• It brings the recipient’s senses to life, as they begin to react and respond to the touch of the masseuse.
• It gives the masseuse a better understanding of their lover’s pleasure zones, allowing them to see what they do and do not respond to. This will later inform love-making techniques, rhythms and positions.
• The recipient’s whole body loosens up, with different parts connecting in ways that are not always possible. This builds towards stronger, longer orgasms.
Five steps to the perfect erotic massage
• Before
It is vital that you create the best possible atmosphere for your love-making. Be sure you are in a
quiet space that will be yours and yours alone for at least two hours. Switch off all phones and
minimise overhead light, using candles if possible. Incense and low music are also helpful additions.
• To begin
Ask your lover to lay face-down on the bed, table, couch or whatever comfortable platform you have setup for their massage. Check that they are relaxed and not strained in their position. Then place your hands on the centre of their back and feel their breathing pattern. Take a moment to acclimatise yours with theirs, until you are both breathing in and out at the same pace.
• Gentle touches and slow strokes
Your first strokes should be tender, using only your fingertips to allow your lover’s senses to know that pleasure is coming. Next, place some warmed massage oil on your hand and slowly rub it all over their body, from the top of their back to the heels of their feet. Tell your lover that they can move and express themselves however they like, to guide you and to give them a sense of both pleasure and mutual control.
• Roll over
When you have rubbed the oil sensually and slowly all over your lover, ask them to roll over. Now apply the oil to their front in the same measured strokes. Once they are fully relaxed, move your hands softly to their genitalia. Rub the oil around the outskirts of their sexual organ, teasing it into life, slow and sure, before moving into the centre. Their arousal should be visible and audible, showing you when the time is right to move on to sex.
• After sex
When both lovers have climaxed, spoon together for a long moment, allowing your heartbeats and breathing to connect and synchronise once again. This will give a complete wholeness to your lovemaking.
An erotic massage is a powerful, beautiful and, most of all, pleasurable way to begin sex. Try this technique for yourself.
Okay, regardless of what any survey says – guys masturbate. Most of them. And, apparently it’s good for you to, studies have shown that. It won’t make you go blind – unless you pull a Coco Peru in Trick.
When is too much… too much?
So some guys wank once a week, some one a day, some are completely fanatical about it and spend all day at it – no joke. A stay-at-home-house-husband friend of mine is basically at it ALL DAY. Lucky sod.
So how much is too much?
Nurse specialists, Jake and Jenna from the sexual health clinic at 56 Dean Street told us,
“We should start by saying that masturbation is perfectly normal and almost everyone has had a go at some point. How often you decide to “wax your dolphin” is completely up to you and you shouldn’t feel you need to try and stop. There isn’t a limit to how frequently you masturbate, other than how often you feel like doing it or want to do it.
“Overall there are no adverse affects from masturbating and if it’s something you enjoy then I think you should go for it”.
So basically as long as you’re having fun… keep on, keeping on…
You wouldn’t think that in 2018 myths about bisexuality would still exist… but oh boy do they! We asked readers who identify as bisexual what comments gave them complete attacks of the eye roll and oh boy did the myths come rolling in… So listen up peeps – take note – these are the myths that we need to destroy in 2017!
Why do gay men take the attitude that bi is just a transitional sexual status … the whole “bi now; gay later” attitude?
Patrick
That I want to have sex with everyone. Yikes, and ick NO. We’re not sexual Velociraptors FFS.
Maggie
That bisexuals only like cis men and women. I’m a bi and trans man, and that tells me is that the speaker doesn’t view me as an actual man, or sees bisexuals as inherently genital focused, or both.
Cato
That we get laid than more people.
Sam
The idea that we will eventually “pick a side” and become either straight or gay.
ANON
That bisexuals are oversexed and can not have a monogamous relationship.
Dave
We’re not a god-damned trend. This is our life, respect that.
Jenny
You can still be bi- even if you’re in a hetero or gay relationship
AJ
We don’t have to 50/50 either way. It’s cool to be 70 more attracted to the same and 30 & the other way… Still bisexual!
Myths persist – but here’s what you need to know if you’re bleeding after anal sex.
(C) BIGSTOCK / Depositphotos
Anal sex can be an integral part of a sexual relationship, but not all couples do it – however, there’s a lot of wrong information out there about bottoming.
Bleeding after anal sex can be just ‘one of those things’ and can happen on your first go round or your 100th – so to put your mind and butt at rest, here’s why it happens.
Tiny rips happen
Your rectum is not self-lubricating, so unless you’re using lube, you’re going to be creating a lot of friction, which can cause the lining of the rectum to tear or rip a little, if this sounds hideous, it might be worth noting that most of these rips are tiny – and can actually happen outside of sex as well. These rips can cause bleeds – and most probably you’ve had bleeds but never realised it.
It happens because the lining of your rectum is not as strong as your normal skin.
Also, anal sex could also be causing what is known as an anal fissure. Anal fissures are tiny rips that can happen both on the inside and on and around your actual hole – especially if you’re not relaxed or have not loosened yourself up before the main event. These can heal all by themselves within a few weeks.
The P Word…
Another issue is the dreaded P word – yes piles.
Bleeds may be caused by popping a pile or if we’re going to be medical about it, haemorrhoids. Piles are completely normal and are the enlargement of a blood vessel that already exists inside your butt. You might not even know you have one until it pops during sex.
Some people have visible piles on the outside of the anus, whilst some have them on the inside.
There’s no evidence to show that having anal sex causes piles but it can inflame the issue.
Jose Perez de la Cruz from THT told us, “So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.
“So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which is exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.
If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.
When should I seek help?
If you are experiencing a lot of pain or prolonged aching after sex you might need to seek medical help. It is normal for there to be some discomfort for a day after, especially after your first time. However, if pain continues you should go and see your GP or book yourself into a sexual health clinic.
If there is a lot of blood (think steady drip rather than a bit of spotting on your toilet paper) you should go and see your doc ASAP.
Dr Shawn Khodadadian, a board-certified gastroenterologist in Manhattan, is cautioning people against ignoring rectal bleeding. He warns that rectal bleeding could be a sign of other, far more serious illness such as colorectal or colon cancer. He said,
“as there are many possible causes and getting an early diagnosis is particularly important. This is because although rectal bleeding can be a symptom of haemorrhoids, colitis or anal fissures, it can also be a sign of a far more serious illness for example colorectal or colon cancer. These types of cancers can often be completely cured when detected early.”
You’re gonna need lube and lots of it
So the best way to stop the friction is to use lube a lot of it. You can find out about the different types of lube here. If you’re having a long session – they don’t forget to keep reapplying the lube or use a silicone-based lube, which should last a lot longer.
Remember, despite what you see in gay porn, you can just ram it in. You need to take your time, use lube and go an inch at a time!
