THEGAYUK

Category: Love And Sex

  • The five types of person we become after a month on a gay dating app

    The five types of person we become after a month on a gay dating app

    Dating apps taboos: the other side of the coin

    gay dating apps
    ©-Maridav-Depositphotos

    If, like me, you’ve been single for more than 1 month of your life then you have, at some point, used online dating apps (or a website). You would have definitely experienced at least one of the following;

     

    • Catfish (people using other people’s pictures deliberately to be someone they are not).
    • A Dorian Grey (someone who ages in real life but doesn’t seem to online until their online picture is wildly different).
    • Time wasters (all chat and no trousers (sometimes literally))
    • Hot ’n’ colders (interested one day then cold the next)
    • Droughts (weeks if not months of nothing)

     

    To name just a few!

    Now these are all very annoying but generally go with the territory, But, why do they? I was sat chatting to a group of friends and were talking about in one form or another we had been one of these things. So, does that mean that we are all one of these at some point?

    All of us in the group said that we had never been a catfish BUT had considered it. And you can see why there is a certain appeal, especially if there is a really really hot guy that does not have you on their radar. You’d never do it, but the mind does fantasise about pretending to be someone equally as fit and flirting with them. No? Just me? Oh, well pours another gin.

    What about a Dorian Grey? This is something I believe I’ve named myself (and a quick search online didn’t seem to find anything). I’ve noticed that as gay men approach key milestones they tend to fog the lines around a set age. I’ve seen a few friends do it, they extend being 30/31 (or even in their 20s) when in fact they are a little older than that. And we all do it. I’ve recently turned 30 and while I proudly put my age on my profile I did often refer to myself as a late 20s guy (more for a joke but nothing is ever done without meaning). At least half of the friends in the group admitted to doing it, having done it in the past or were considering it.

    ALSO READ: Ten things gay men love to hate about dating apps.

    Time wasters are the most common and the easiest for ‘your average guy’ to fall in to. Picture it, you’re all set for a ‘meet’ but as the day approaches things come up, stuff happens, and suddenly it’s 19:30 on a Friday night and the prospect of going out just seems a mission. So, they get a politely worded “sorry I can’t make it’, I’ve got this thing’ or ‘I forgot I had to do X’. We’ve all done it at some point and don’t you dare try and claim that you haven’t!

    Now hot n colders are definitely people we have all been and they are very literally people that blow hot and cold. A flurry of interest one day then naff all the next. I know that I do this. But not always through choice, sometimes life just takes over and responding to that text works its way down the list of things to do. There, in most cases, isn’t any malice in it but as the person on the other side waiting for that text the only way to really take a lack of response is badly. It is a sure-fire way of harming your ‘dating chances’ and yes you can argue that maybe you shouldn’t be online if you can’t handle online but when has anything ever been that simple?

    ALSO READ: 12 mistakes gay guys are making on their dating profiles.

    Finally, droughts aren’t something you can be but they can push a person in need into being one of the above. No ‘booty’ equals a horny moment, an approach to a fellow app user for a ‘meet’ which then loses its appeal after a ‘self-release’. Hence, time waster. Droughts come to us all and they can have the ability to make us to things that we wouldn’t consider doing. I do have a story about a guy that didn’t get any action for 4 weeks, but that’s for another time.

    So, while I don’t look to excuse or validate such things, as they are annoying, instead aren’t we all guilty of being one of these at one point or another? Maybe with a little more acceptance of that when it does happen we can just accept it as a fact of life and move on. If ‘online behaviour’ really is an extension of ‘physical behaviour’ then just as we do silly things when nervous in real life maybe, we do silly things in our electronic one.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • We’re too busy sleeping with our phones to say good night to our partners

    We’re too busy sleeping with our phones to say good night to our partners

    Six million Brits admit they sleep with their mobile phone, a new study has revealed. Research suggests that one fifth of the nation keep their phone in their bed, or even under their pillow, every single night to ensure they don’t miss a single text message or email.

    CREDIT: monkeybusinessimages-bigstock

    Such is the nation’s obsession with their smartphone that half of the 2,000 adults questioned in 2013 admit that looking at their phone is the very last thing they do in the evening, and the first thing they do when they wake.

    The mobile phone has now become such a regular fixture in our bedtime routine that it takes until 10:58pm for the average Brit to relinquish their device.

    Mark Fells Director of Digital at Premier Inn, who conducted the survey of 2,000 adults, said,

    “In the last five years owning a smartphone has become common place for most adults, and we all love the freedom and accessibility that technology allows us to have.

    “However, with almost half of those surveyed struggling to take their mind off what they have read on their mobile, and a huge 69% receiving late night e-mails and text messages from work colleagues and their boss, it appears we need to learn to ‘switch off’ when it comes to our bedtime routines.”

    Worryingly, one in five admit to regularly waking in the morning with their smartphone still glued to their hand, and a third claim they have ditched reading books in bed in favour of browsing the internet, social networking and catching up on work emails instead.

    ALSO READ: Six ways to get a better night’s sleep

    A social media savvy 20% bid a virtual ‘goodnight’ to their friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter when tucked up in bed, with a further 8% acknowledging they are more likely to say goodnight to their online pals than their own partners that sleep by their side.

    Although the nation may be smitten with their smartphones, the addiction to mobile technology appears to be having an adverse effect on love lives, with one in five Brits admitting they frequently row with their partner over how much time they spend on their phone while in bed.

    Almost one in three deemed using a mobile in bed anti-social.

  • Best and worst places to pop the question to your man this Valentine’s

    A new survey of nearly 3,000 Brits said the location to pop the question was more important than the ring itself and that your words of love spoken during the proposal would make or break the deal for a third of them.

    CREDIT: © focuspocusltd Depositphotos

    The survey compiled by AttractionTix.co.uk revealed the following best and worst places to propose this Valentine’s, unless you’re part of the 40% who said Valentine’s was a bad day to propose, but overall February was a good month to say ‘Will you marry me?’

    CREDIT: ©-daboost-Depositphotos

     

    THE TOP FIVE LOCATIONS TO PROPOSE

    A sentimental location

    A famous landmark

    A theme park

    A beach

    A sporting event

     

    CREDIT: ©-everett225-Depositphotos

     

    TOP FIVE WORST LOCATIONS TO PROPOSE

    At a surprise engagement party

    At home

    At work

    At a family event

    At a restaurant

     

    So there you have it. If the mood does take you to propose to a loved one (hopefully!) this Valentine’s, then try to avoid holding a surprise party in the local chippy with the family and friends, but instead get yourself some tickets for Alton Towers, then at least if he says no you can leave him on the Oblivion rollercoaster so he can also get that heart sinking feeling.

  • 7 reasons your penis does not smell so good

    Is your manhood smelling less than rosy? There might be a number of reasons for that hideous cheesy aroma that’s making all the lads faint…

    why does my penis smell so bad
    CREDIT: Depositphotos

    No one wants a smelly penis. So if you’re wondering why yours is smelling so bad, here are some reasons, as always if you’re really concerned about your health then book yourself an appointment with your doctor.

    Just general sweat and dirt…

    Are you cleaning down there enough? Guys who tend to do a lot of sport might be getting smelly in their private parts. Make sure after each workout or run that you wash your genitals using fresh, clean warm water. Your groin could be causing the smell rather than your penis. It’s a brilliant place for bacteria to multiply by their millions. It’s dark, damp and warm – the perfect environment.

    Crotch rot

    Yep, as nasty as that sounds – some sports fanatics will know about crotch rot, it’s caused by wearing dirty underwear or jocks for a prolonged period. Make sure after exercising that you wash your undies, in a hot wash to get rid of any bacteria. BTW it does have a proper name, it’s called Tinea cruris. It causes itching or burning in the groin area and near the anus. It can be caused by athlete’s foot and can be transferred through your clothing. So be careful when putting your trousers on!

    Smegma

    Smegma is a cheesy, white looking substance that you’re more likely to have if you’re uncut (have a foreskin), although cut guys produce it too. It’s a natural lubricant for the penis, but it does start to smell if you don’t wash it. It’s basically made up of dead skin cells, fatty oils and other debris from penis secretions. That cheesy smell? Well, that’s bacterial breakdown my friends. So give it a wash.

    Balanitis

    Poor hygiene will cause Balanitis, an inflammation of the head of the dick. The foreskin can also be infected. It can also be created by a thrush infection or other skin condition. See your doctor if this happens.

    STIs

    Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia can both cause your cock to smell. You might not even know you have either of these infections, but it’s wise to look out for these symptoms:

    • White discharge from your penis – when you’re not peeing or cumming
    • A painful, burning when you pee
    • Penis irritation and needing to pee frequently.

    Go see your docs and do not delay.

    You’re not washing it properly

    If you give your penis the showerhead but not giving it a good old rub, you might not be getting all the smeg off. So as well as the shower head get your fingers over that helmet and give it a good rub!

    No roll back…

    If you can’t roll back your foreskin or your foreskin is really tight around the head of your penis there might be a build up of dirt and bacteria which you’re not able to wash away. You should probably try and get an appointment with your GP to discuss what you can do about it…

     

  • ADVICE | I have genital herpes and it’s cleared up… Can I have unprotected sex?

    This week Dr Nitin Shori answers a question from a reader who is concerned that they might pass on herpes, even though the outbreak has cleared up.

    I have genital herpes and it's cleared up... Can I have unprotected sex?

    Dear Doctor
    I was diagnosed with genital herpes 1, 6 months ago and have recently started to use Valtrex treatment. Is it possible to have unprotected sex with someone not infected? Or is there still a chance they can contract it even if there are no outbreaks?

    Thank you

     

    Once you have been infected with the herpes simplex virus, it will remain in your body and can lead to occasional outbreaks.

    Unfortunately, it is possible for you to pass the virus that causes genital herpes to a sexual partner at any time – even if you are not experiencing an outbreak and have no symptoms.

    Transmission is even more likely during an outbreak. Condoms are proven to reduce transmission.

    Even if you do not have symptoms, people at risk of passing on herpes should always use an effective barrier method of practising safe sex, such as a condom or dental dam. The same virus causes cold sores and genital herpes and can be passed from one area of the body to the other during oral sex if protection is not used.

    ALSO READ: Ask the doctor…. Did I catch herpes?

    Valtrex helps the body to fight the herpes simplex virus but is not effective in preventing it from being passed from one person to another.

     The symptoms of a genital herpes episode can include small blisters in the anal or genital area, which burst to leave small red sores which can be painful; pain when urinating; stinging, tingling, or itching in the genital area; and a general feeling of malaise, or a flu-like symptom. Prescription treatments are available that shorten the duration and severity of an outbreak.

    Dr Nitin Shori is the Medical Director of the Pharmacy2U Online Doctor service,

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

  • You won’t believe the cost to find that someone special

    So, dating is expensive, right? Do you have any clue how much it costs to find that special person nowadays?

    CREDIT: Yastremska-bigstock

    According to a new poll, it takes Americans over five years of dating before they decided to tie-the-knot. Over the course of those years, the average person spends $20,276 (£16,320) on dating.

    The new survey of 1,000 married people across the country conducted by art event planners Paint Nite also found that Americans spend, on average, nearly five and a half years out on the dating scene before getting hitched – shelling out an average of $43.50 per date.

    The most common dating activity is going to dinner, which 88 percent of 1,000 Americans named as one of their top picks, followed by going to the movies (63 percent), lunch (39 percent), taking a walk (38 percent) and making a meal and spending time at home (38 percent).

    As for the ideal date, dinner and movies topped the list once again, followed by taking a walk, travelling and sightseeing. Three out of four people would rather enjoy a sedentary date such as dinner and movies over active/interactive or outdoor dates – with only 10 percent saying they like to play sports while out with their other half or a new love prospect.

    When it comes to landing dates, a quarter have picked up a prospect in a bar or a nightclub, one in five have used online dating sites, and 35 percent have been set up by friends and colleagues.

    Sixty-five percent of respondents think the best way to greet a date is with a simple hi or hello, while almost two in five advocate a hug and 30 percent recommend a handshake.

    “Making a great impression on a first date, whether that means covering the bill, a warm greeting or simply picking an interesting activity, can make all the difference in the early days of a relationship,’ explains Courtney Osgood of Paint Nite, a company that arranges art-themed nights at pubs and wine bars. ‘Mixing it up, and trying something new can also keep the spark alive between a seasoned couple.”

    As for who should shell out on the first date, more than half think that the man should cover the bill, while just one percent of respondents thought the woman should pay the tab. Twenty-three percent of respondents said it should actually be the person who asked for the date who should pay.

    More than 40 percent of respondents say that they decide who will pay before the date even happens, while 24 percent say they figure things out when the bill comes.
    One in five men admits to pulling the pretending-to-stretch trick on a date, while 22 percent of both men and women admit to touching an arm or a knee of their date to make a move.

    Top keys to the best first impression on a date
    1.    Good manners
    2.    An attractive appearance
    3.    A smile
    4.    Great personality
    5.    A sense of humour

    Top date turn-offs
    1.    Bad manners/Offensive/Rude
    2.    Bad breath
    3.    Too negative
    4.    Burping out loud/other bodily noises
    5.    Unattractive physical appearance
    6.    Inappropriate/tight clothing
    7.    Talks too much
    8.    Indecisiveness
    9.    Too much make-up
    10.    Lack of confidence

  • 5 chat up lines you should NEVER use

    Some chat-up lines work and others really don’t. Here are 5 chat-up lines you should NEVER Use!

    CREDIT: ©-studiostoks-Depositphotos

    1. You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

    It’s crude and it’s not even clever.

    2. I’m calling the police because you stole my heart.

    Really cheesy, to the point of being cringeworthy.

    3. Are your pants a bit tight or are you just happy to see me?

    Confidence is good, but cockiness (no pun intended) is not. The not-so-subtle subtext implies you’re just after one thing, which you probably won’t get using this line.

    4. You know what would look good on you? Me.

    Nobody wants to go out with somebody who has a bigger ego than themselves. This line screams that they are egotistical.

    5. Do you come here often?

    This line is too ambiguous. Depending upon where you meet, this could have all sorts of subtext. I once had a guy say this to me in the waiting room of a sexual health clinic. I walked on by and thankfully never saw him again.

    My advice would be to avoid the one-liners altogether. Start the conversation with a simple ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ and stick to genuine compliments.

    What’s the worst chat-up line anybody has ever said to you? Leave a comment below or on our Facebook page to let us know.

  • One guy asked whether size matters…

    One guy asked whether size matters…

    A journalism student asked members of Reddit about their thoughts on penis size. He asked women and gay men to comment on their thoughts of small penis size, how they react to them and how they get frisky with one.

    The man was deluged by responses. In fact, he got over 6152 comments.

    So what were some of the most surprising responses?

    1. Considering my ridiculously sensitive gag reflex I wouldn’t mind a smaller one now and then.

    2. I’m a gay guy and I actually prefer smaller penises. I’m a top for one thing, so maybe that skews my preference. I feel like I can give more pleasure to a guy with a smaller penis simply because I can get a hold of more of it at a time. More fun to play with maybe? I’d much rather be with someone who is less than say, 5-6″ (average). The massive ones you see in porn, no thanks.

    3. Don’t worry about dick sizes. I’ve been with 8 guys and ventured to a bath-house once (no, didn’t get with all 8 guys there!). Most guys do NOT have anything to be proud of. Porn dicks are the equivalent of a model’s weight to females: very few actually “have the goods” yet everyone worries about it.

    4. Bottom/vers here. There is a definite “golden zone” in terms of length/girth. Too small and you don’t feel anything, too big and it hurts like hell. That isn’t really a “getting used to it” thing, either – unless you specifically go out to train yourself to take big dicks or fists (which I haven’t, because you run a real risk of prolapse) there’s a hard limit at around 9-10″ where it hits the top of your colon and around 2.5″ diameter where it hits your pubic bone (I think. Something hard, anyway.)

    5. The first guy I dated was smaller than average, but it was no big deal. A guy I went on a couple dates with a few years ago had what may be considered a micro penis …When erect he couldn’t get a condom on it because it just rolled back off and there was no actual penetration despite the effort. It made me extremely uncomfortable and because I’d never experienced anything like it, I panicked and broke up with him not long after. I realize that he couldn’t help it, but I had only had sex with one guy before him and it kind of freaked me out. Looking at it now, I feel bad for the guy, but he’s engaged to somebody so it obviously didn’t hurt him too much.

    6. This may sound very mean but I hope they’re not “waiting for marriage” to have sex. Having a dick that small is something both partners need to be comfortable with to make it work.

    7. My first guyI was with had a very large penis. So large I could not enjoy sex, it hurt to bad. The next guy was average and sex was good. The next guy was so small, I am grateful he could not see my face when I pulled it out. I was actually disgusted at that moment. But it turned out he knew how to use it! Two years together and not once did I give that tiny dick a second thought. I am now married and my husband is a perfect size.

    8. Gay guy here. Prefer 3-4 inches. Anything upwards of 6 inches hurts my ass and I hate it more than anything else. Also, I don’t see the point of choking on a dick. It’s not fun, you cough and mucus comes out of your nose while you’re trying to look sexy sucking a dick. So yeah, small penises ftw.

    9. I think the size you have is perfect. Mine is about 5.5 and my partner is the same as yours. (gay obviously) I like it because it’s not intimidating, I can get it all in my mouth, and he really knows how to work it. I honestly don’t like big penises. They’re scary and painful.

    In summary, he said,

    “I came to the conclusion I had before even posting, 1. Whether or not your penis is too big or too small, it’s dependent on your partner. 2. Size matters to a very minimal extent, what really matters is how you perform and make up for it. 3. There is still faith in humanity.

    “Thank you for being so open and sharing your personal stories”.

  • 13 things you think when a dude sends you his peen pic

    It’s almost as common as a handshake these days…

    what you're thinking when a guy sends you his dick pic
    CREDIT: ©-feelphotoartz-Depositphotos

    1) Obviously… That’s long/ short/ thick/ pink/ brown/ purple/ green?/ spotty/ bent/ angled/ veiny

    It’s pretty much all good – except the green. It should never be green.

    2) Will it fit?

    I mean anywhere. I’m accommodating… so let’s give it ago.

    3) I hope he washes that remote/can of coke/hairbrush/lynx can that he’s posing it with…

    But we’re glad you gave us perspective.

    4) Do I really want to know him if he uses Lynx?

    No judgement. Okay, yes there is.

    5) Does he name it?

    Because I’m tempted… Malfoy.

    6) How many other people has he sent this out to?

    I mean how special am I?

    7) When was the last time he got checked out?

    …and I don’t mean In a “how-you-doin’” kinda way. I mean sexual-health baby.

    8) How dirty is his floor…

    Sometimes it’s the things you see in the background of pictures that speak the most words.

    9) What a bush…

    Some guys just don’t know how to manscape. Get a strimmer for crying out loud.

    10) What no bush?

    Some guys just go too far with the razor…

    11) What the penis’s story is…

    I mean how many people has it met… What’s the history, what’s the journey?

    12) How many photos did he take before he sent it?

    Angles, lighting…

     

    13) Will it be compatible with mine?

  • ADVICE | Why does it sting whenever I pee?

    So a reader asked our sexual health experts about a stinging pain whenever he pees. What could it be?

    ADVICE | Why does it sting whenever I pee?

    If you’ve ever experienced a stinging sensation down below whenever you’ve peed, you’ll know it really isn’t a great feeling and it can be a worry too. So what could it be?

    It could be a sexually transmitted infection, after all, there was so many of them floating about. Medical Director at Pharmacy 2U Dr Nitin Shori told us, “statistics from NHS England show that there were more than 435,000 STI diagnoses in 2015, we may have forgotten the safe sex message”.

    However, it isn’t all bad news, Nitin continues, “There are different types of STIs and some, if caught early, are easy to treat with antibiotics. Chlamydia is the most common STI in England and can be treated with antibiotics.

    What are the infections that cause stinging whilst peeing?

    So according to webmd.com stinging whilst you urinate could be caused by: genital herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhoea. But stinging could also be a symptom of other problems such as kidney stones, diabetes, having an enlarged prostate, or a Urinary Tract Infection UTI – which is caused by bacteria in the urinary tract.

    Cystitis can also cause pain during urination although women are more likely to be affected by this than men. It’s caused by inflammation of the bladder caused by a bladder infection. Those infections are caused by certain bacteria – like those found in your poo.

    What should I do if it burns when I pee?

    The best thing to do is make an appointment where you can be tested for STIs. This can be done at a sexual health clinic, genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic or GP surgery. Some people prefer the privacy of buying a

    Some people prefer the privacy of buying a reliable testing kit online from a reputable supplier, such as Pharmacy2U.co.uk.

     

  • And the horniest / loneliest day of 2016 was…

    And the horniest / loneliest day of 2016 was…

    THEGAYUK has managed to pinpoint the loneliest or in fact the horniest day of 2016.

    which was the horniest day in 2016
    CREDIT: ©-Maridav-Depositphotos

    Thanks to our analytics we’ve managed to pinpoint the day which we received the most traffic for guys looking to download new dating apps.

    So which day was it?

    Sunday the 16th October was apparently the horniest or loneliest day of 2016 (depending on how you look at it) with scores of people looking for new dating apps to try out.

    Most people landed on our gay dating app review page at 9 AM (9.73%) in the morning followed by another search surge at 6 PM (7.9%).

    Interestingly every Sunday THEGAYUK.com sees a surge for dating app reviews or news. Searches for our gay app review page peaked in the Summer (June) but the lowest search was the first week of April.

    THEGAYUK’s editor Jake Hook said,

    “It’s clear that app dating is here to stay for a while longer yet. We saw a brief dip in online searches during November, but by December searches had climbed another 6 percent.

    “People are obviously searching for love on the internet and we’ve found that early Sunday mornings and again in the evening are key times to search for and create new accounts on dating apps.”

    Since the article went live in February, the growth of the page has soared by 22 per cent, showing online dating is here to stay for the forseeable. Don’t forget you can sign up to our very own free gay chat page and start chatting with guys across the UK.