THEGAYUK

Category: Love And Sex

  • 10 ways to banish pre-wedding stress

    10 ways to banish pre-wedding stress

    Getting married should be the happiest, most wonderful time of your life. Sadly, it’s often the most stressful time of one’s life. It doesn’t need to be that way, though. If you’re due to get married, I’m here to help with my top 10 tips for banishing pre-wedding stress.

    Indulge in a technology detox.

    If you’ve been busy with planning your wedding, take some time out for yourself and your fiancé. Put your phones out of sight, turn off the television and all other technology distractions. Put on some music, pour yourself a large glass of wine and enjoy some quiet time with your partner. Allowing yourself that time to switch off and relax will bring huge benefits to your life.

    Take up breathing exercises.

    This isn’t as boring as it may sound. Try this… Sit quietly and take a deep breath in for a count of four. Then exhale for a count of four. Repeat this exercise for two minutes and take notice of how it begins to make you feel. I recommend making breathing exercises a part of your daily routine to keep stress at bay.

     Have sex.

    It’s something enjoyable and the release of endorphins when in the throes of passion will put a huge smile on your face. If you’re not really up for sex, try my first tip and see if that to set the scene for an explosive, stress busting bonk.

    Exercise.

    The previous tip may have covered that slightly, but sexercise isn’t the only stress busting activity you can indulge in. Getting regular exercise is key in reducing stress levels. Even just a twenty-minute walk each day can help, but if you’re feeling more energetic, get out there and pound the streets or join a gym class. You could even put on some music and dance like nobody is watching, which is surely one of the most fun things to do. If you’re not up for much exercise, make it a social occasion and exercise while catching up with friends. Which leads me to my next tip…

     Make sure you keep in touch with family and friends.

    When planning a wedding, it can be too easy to fall out of the loop with those closest to you. So set aside some time and make an effort to catch up with family and friends. You could involve them in your wedding planning, but I suggest putting the planning to one side and having a proper catch up with people. It’s sure to be a boost to your mood and a massive stress reducer.

    NEXT PAGE | 2/2

  • ADVICE | Does PrEP stop you getting HIV? Where can I get it from?

    This week a reader asks about PrEP, what it does, where to get it and if it’s available on the NHS.

    Does PrEP stop you getting HIV? Where can I get it from?

    Pharmacy2U’s Clinical Governance Pharmacist Phil Day answers the PrEP question.

     

    Dear TGUK

    I’ve heard that there’s a drug that can stop me from getting HIV – Where can I get this? Is it available on the NHS?
     
    I’ve been using condoms but sometimes it can really kill the moment. I wanted to know if there’s an easier way to protect myself.

    Tom

     

    Dear Tom,

    While advances in medicine mean that most people living with HIV are now unlikely to contract AIDS, you should still always wear a condom. They also provide protection against a number of other Sexually Transmitted Diseases, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis.

    In fact, there’s been a rise in sexually transmitted diseases for the first time in decades because many people are ignoring advice on wearing a condom.

    Have you tried experimenting with some different rubbers and lubes? There’s a vast choice and manufacturers have invested millions into making condoms that can actually enhance your fun as well as protect you.  If you’re shy, there’s a great range online as well as in the shops.

    You can always put a condom on in advance if you think you’re going to have sex so that it doesn’t interrupt proceedings, or make it part of the sex session by putting them on each other. It’s also wise to use them if you’re just sticking to oral sex.

    But to answer your question on Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, it is a drug treatment protocol using a prescription medicine called Truvada, and has been shown in a recent trial to be highly effective in preventing HIV in gay and bisexual men, when taken daily and used in combination with other infection prevention measures.

    Truvada contains two medicines (tenofovir and emtricitabine) and is already routinely used in combination with other medicines to treat existing HIV infection.

    The US Food and Drug Administration has approved Truvada’s use by people at very high risk of HIV infection. Despite trials of Truvada in a number of cities, the NHS is not currently planning to make PrEP available on prescription in the UK, leading to anger and frustration among campaigners.

    Truvada is available from a small number of private clinics in the UK and is expensive. People should only ever take medicines prescribed by a UK-registered GP and dispensed by a UK-registered pharmacy.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online?  Click here to buy one

     

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I’m cumming too quickly what can I do?

    This week a reader asks what he can do to stop ejaculating too quickly. Pharmacy2U’s Clinical Governance Pharmacist Phil Day answers his question.

    I'm cumming too quickly what can I do?

     

    Dear Phil,

    I’ve a bit of an embarrassing question. I cum way too quickly. I’ve been with my boyfriend now for six months and we’ve got a great sex life, in fact it’s a bit too good.  I just can’t last.
     
    Literally I last two minutes tops. We have a fair bit of foreplay and I do get a bit close, but always stop, before I climax – however when it comes to the penetration bit I can’t last at all.
     
    Is there a way I can make myself last longer?

    John, Hull

     

    Dear John,

    This really isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. In fact, one in three men say they have suffered from premature ejaculation at some point.

    Despite what blokes say in the pub, the average length of time from the moment of penetration to orgasm is shorter than you might think. We all need to be a bit more realistic about how long we can keep going.

    One of the key things to understand when finding the fix for you is whether this is a temporary problem or something you have suffered from with other partners as well

    There can be underlying physical problems, as well as mental health issues such as anxiety and stress, that can cause it. Some doctors also reckon there are men who have unusually sensitive penises.

    There are a few things you can try, such as masturbating an hour or two before you think you’re going to have sex.

    Also, try taking deep breaths when you’re on the verge of ejaculating as that briefly shuts down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs).

    Use positions where you or your partner can pull out easily and quickly if the act of penetration is too stimulating.

    Many sex therapists recommend adopting a ‘stop-start’ technique entailing taking breaks during sex and thinking about something bland and boring.

    Pharmacies also stock a number of over the counter and prescription-only products that could help you too, including thick condoms and desensitising sprays.

    Medication in the form of tablets is also available to treat premature ejaculation in men who experience this regularly and where it causes distress, and is usually taken one to three hours before having sex. You will need a prescription, which can be obtained from your own doctor or through a private consultation with an online GP.

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | Will They Stick Things Down My Pee Hole?

    This week a reader is considering going to his first sexual health check up and is concerned they’ll put something down his urethra.

    Will They Stick Things Down My Pee Hole?

    Dear Team

    I’m thinking about going for a check up but I’m worried about things being stuck down my dick, I’ve heard that sometimes you use like an umbrella type device to check for infections… Is that right?

    John

     

    Dear John,
    Thanks for your question. The good news is that you won’t find the umbrella swab in a sexual health clinic…
    If you have no symptoms it’s just a urine test (throat and rectal swabs also for gay men). If you have symptoms we may need to take a tiny swab for the urethra.

    This isn’t painful just uncomfortable. But if you’ve got no symptoms then we just need a sample of pee.
    The staff are super friendly too so if there is anything you don’t want or are worried about just say.

    Jake + Jenna from 56 Dean Street

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • Five Things You Need To Do To Turn Snooze Sex Into Amazing Sex

    Forget the steak and chips and a night out with the Mr… Go straight to the bedroom…

    Sex expert Susan Quilliam gives her top advice for couples who want to spice up their bedroom habits.

     

    Anticipation:

    CREDIT: © Lopolo Depositphotos

    Wake each other with erotic whispers, by tongue-kissing goodbye as you set off for work, and send sexy emails and texts all day. When you get together in the evening, firstly talk in detail about exactly what you’re going to do to each other.

    Loving Touch:

    CREDIT: ©-dnf-style-Depositphotos

    CREDIT: ©-dnf-style-Depositphotos

    Sensual stroking doesn’t just arouse you but releases hormones that make skin and nerves more sensitive. Plus, it brings you emotionally closer, which in itself makes the experience more powerful. Use Durex Embrace pleasure gels separately or together, to create a magic massage experience that makes you want to go on and on…

    Take It In Turns:

    It can be amazing to concentrate on one’s own sensations without needing to return the favour.  So let the ‘giver’ fondle, kiss, lick while the ‘receiver’ just lies back and enjoys.

    For added impact, try blindfolding the receiver so they can’t see what’s going to happen next.

     

    ALSO READ: 17 Confessions From First Time Gay Sex

    ALSO READ: What is a white glove bottom?

    Exchange Control:

    Set the timer for 15 minutes and during that time let your partner dictate all the moves, positions, speed, pace and rhythm. Then set the timer again and you take charge, saying precisely what you’re going to do. Add extra erotic charge by specifying that neither of you can orgasm until the ‘controller’ of that time period gives permission.

    Hold back:

    CREDIT: kirza-bigstock

    Introducing pauses in to the love act means passion builds physiologically higher, emotions zoom upwards – and the climax is stronger. Don’t rush on to the end, instead create hesitations of a few heartbeats between touches, kisses and thrusts. And only allow yourselves to tip over the edge when you’re both begging for release.

     

    This article was taken from Issue 2 of THEGAYUK. Subscribe now to never miss another article.

    Have you got a sex question? Worried about something in the bedroom? Submit your questions to us.

  • Are You A Robosexual?

    Are You A Robosexual?

    A quarter of people would happily date a robot!

    A survey has found that a quarter of people (aged 18-34) would be happy to date a robot. A New ComRes research published by FutureFest asked the public to imagine the world in 20 years in time – and apparently dating robots was on the cards.

    Recent films depicting human-machine romances may soon become a reality; a quarter (26 per cent) of people in the UK said that they would happily date a robot – provided their android beau looked just like a real-life human being.

    Meanwhile, half (50 per cent) of Brits who already use contactless bank cards say that they would be happy to have microchips implanted under their skin to open doors or log on at work, and a third (32 per cent) of all British adults believe that in fifty years’ time the sale of fizzy drinks to under-16s will be as tightly controlled as tobacco is today.

    So who’s the hottest robot?

    This world will be brought to life and explored at FutureFest 2016. Taking place at London’s Tobacco Dock, 17-18 September 2016, this year’s event is programmed around four themes – Love, Play, Work and Thrive – with each curated by a specialist in the field.

    Lead curator of FutureFest 2013/2015 and curator of the Play theme at this year’s event, musician and writer Pat Kane (pictured), said:

    “As humans, we are all born with our own in-built crystal ball about the future. It’s in our nature to have dreams and schemes about better and more exciting worlds to come. At this third FutureFest, alongside my new fellow curators, we’re exploring playful, sensual, emotional and working futures – using our usual mix of world-class speakers, startling new commissions and installations, and a whole range of opportunities for our super-smart audiences to get involved.”

  • ADVICE | I Have Found Lumps And Bumps On My Balls

    This week a reader is worried about some lumps and bumps he’s found on his testicles.

    I Have Found Lumps And Bumps On My Balls

    DEAR TGUK,

    I have a cyst on my testicle, I’ve had it a couple of years, it doesn’t really bother me much, should I do anything about it?

    Pat, Manchester

     

    If you have had the lump on your testicle checked and have been told it is a cyst, then as long as it doesn’t change you do not need to do anything. Often if a lump is found a doctor will order an ultrasound scan to confirm it is just a cyst. The tubes which are attached to your testicles can feel lumpy or a bit like spaghetti and this is usually normal, but if in doubt get it checked.

    If you are unsure it is definitely worthwhile visiting your GP or a sexual health clinic. Men should check their testicles once a month (ideally after a bath or shower) rotate them between your index finger and thumb to feel the surface to check there aren’t any new lumps. If you do this you will get to know them well. If anything changes you are then more likely to spot it quickly.

    Here’s a great video on how to check;

    For any lumps and bumps on your genitals which you are concerned about, just book in or if you can walk-in to a sexual health clinic. Try not to feel embarrassed as lumps and bumps are very common and the staff are experienced and used to seeing many people with similar problems each day.

     

    by Jake and Jenna at 56 Dean Street

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I’m Finding It Hard To Get A Hard On

    This week a reader confides that he finds it hard to get a hard on.

    I'm Finding It Hard To Get A Hard On

    Dear TGUK
    I’m finding it hard to get a hard on, what can I do?
    Jeff

     

    Dear Jeff
    First of all, don’t give yourself a hard time about not being able to get a hard on. It happens to the best of us at the worst of times – and stressing about it can actually make the situation worse. So take a moment and breathe.

    It sounds as though you’re suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED). Lots of things can cause ED; from being too stressed out at work to money worries. Even lifestyle choices such as too much alcohol or drug taking can hinder a strong erection.

    Also, you don’t say, but if you’re on any kind of prescribed medication you might want to check and see if any side effects listed by the meds, include ED. Do not come off any prescribed meds with out talking to your GP first.

    There are a variety of things you can do to try to get your little Mr back up and working again, but first of all, see whether you can get an erection when you’re by yourself – or during your sleep.

    There’s a very simple test to see whether you get erections during your sleep. One of the tests is the famous stamp test. If you can still get a row of stamps that are joined by a perforated edge you can perform this in the comfort of your own home.

    Before you go to bed put a row of four or five joined stamps around the shaft of your flaccid penis and seal by moistening the two ends together. If any of the perforations between the stamps is broken in the morning you’ll know that you are getting nocturnal erections, because your enlarged penis will naturally break the perforations between the stamps. This test can help you rule out a more serious erectile dysfunction, because you know that you can physically have an erection.

    If this is the case take a look at external factors such as your work load or your alcohol consumption. As frustrated as you might be, you just might need to take your time with this.

    If you don’t break the perforations, then you might consider getting an appointment with your GP, who should be able to help you find a medical solution.

    There are a number of other at home tests you can do like the Rigiscan and The Penile Plethysmograph.

    You could try Viagra or a herbal supplement available in Holland and Barratt called Horny Goatweed.

    If your problem is being caused by wearing condoms then you can get in touch with the Terrence Higgins Trust. They can actually send you a variety, for free, to check out which ones work for you.

    If you would like condoms then contact Joe Perez at THT, jose.perezdelacruz@tht.org.uk

    It’s important not to let this ruin your sex life – there are many options available to you – and you can even have sex without having a full erection or taking the pressure off yourself by focusing on your partner rather than your erection.

    Talking your issues over with your partner may also help as well. It’s important to keep communication open between partners if you’re going through a tough time.

    Wish you will Jeff and keep in touch to let us know how you’re getting on.

     

    ALSO READ: How to last longer in bed. 10 tips for you to try and extend your staying power.

    ALSO READ: Why does my foreskin smell?

    ALSO READ: Feed Your Penis – some power packed recipes to help your stamina and erections strength!

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • Government U Turns On Banning Poppers

    Government U Turns On Banning Poppers

    The Government has confirmed that it will not press ahead with plans to ban poppers through its psychoactive substance bill due to go live on the 6th April.

    (more…)

  • 13 Myths About Gay Sex

    13 Myths About Gay Sex

    Who’s the woman? Doesn’t it hurt? Why do you wear jockstraps? So many many questions…

     

    That it ends up with penetration.

    In this penetration obsessed world we forget that not every sexual encounter has to end up with a game of toss the hoop. Nope there’s a ton of things you can do without going there. Frottage, mutual masturbation, oral and perhaps a bit of light cuddling?

    That there are very limited positions

    One evening a girl friend of mine asked didn’t I get bored because I couldn’t face my partner during sex. I was like “WTF?” She was like “you’re your butt hole is at the back…”

    Listen… our joints can move… and our hips can tilt! We’re not fused into position. Anything you can do I can do better. Basically anything the straights can do in bed, the gays can compete just as well.

    That it looks like this: Westboro Baptist Churchmopedmamas

    Westboro Baptist church would have you believe that gay men only have sex standing up facing away of each other. Such a warped view… Although that position is a goodun.

    That only one of you is the top and only one of you is the bottom.

    We can both top and bottom and all in one session. Crazy that. You don’t have to be limited to just one set of roles.

    That you both have to cum

    Where are all these rules coming from? It’s sex. Do what makes you happy. If you don’t want or can’t cum in the moment, don’t stress about it. Keep calm and try later! It’s not a race or a competition.

     

    ADVERT

    [adinserter block=”1″]

    That you have to have 7/8/9/19 inch penises

    Regardless of what you may see in gay porn, men come in all shapes, sizes, colours and girths – and what makes one person’s perfect penis may be somebody else’s vanilla hell.

    That you have to look like porn stars

    CREDIT: © dnf style| Depositphotos
    CREDIT: © dnf style| Depositphotos

    Just because your body doesn’t look like some Adonis it doesn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful. Enjoy your body and your partner’s

     

    ALSO READ: 17 Confessions From First Time Gay Sex

    ALSO READ: What is A White Glove Bottom?

    It will hurt

    It might… but then again it might not.

    It won’t hurt

    We aren’t all one shape fits all. Each person is different but if it does hurt. Stop, relax and try more lube and try again – if you want to.

    That gay men end up having to use sanitary towels.

    We’re convinced this is an urban legend. If you keep yourself safe and aren’t swallowing up whole traffic cones with your butthole , you’ll be just fine.

    If you feel like you’re getting loose down there, try some PC muscle exercises… You know the muscles that you use to stop and start the flow of pee? Yes those babies… Work em out.

    It’s just dirty.

    Dirty good? Dirty bad?

    Dirty bad? If you know your body and know how to prepare yourself it won’t be… Read our guide on how to have sex like a porn star to find out more.

    That one of you has to be “the man” and the other “the woman”

    Stop with the roles already. We’re both men here!

    It’s how you get HIV

    Where to go with this. HIV is a virus that knows no sexuality, race, colour creed or gender. You can be infected from all different types of sex. As with everything in life use your head not your cock to make wise decisions about your health. Use a condom, use lots of lube and look out for one another.

  • 7 Things A Gay Boy Should Not Do On A First Date

    CREDIT: © oneinchpunch Depositphotos
    CREDIT: © oneinchpunch Depositphotos

    Dates can be really awkward, so next time you’re on one, do yourself a favour and leave these little gems out of the conversation.

    (more…)