Category: Love And Sex

Here’s what you could be doing wrong on dating apps

It’s a fact of life. If you’re single, you’re probably on a dating app, and if you’re not getting the dates you want, you could be asking the wrong questions…

If you’re looking for love on a dating app and you’re not getting the results you want you could be doing something crucially wrong, and it could be the questions you’re asking.

Obviously, the most used word on Grindr is “Hey” or even “Sup” but the next following convo is important if you’re looking for love rather than just a hookup.

CREDIT: GaudiLab/bigstock

So what is this cardinal sin we’re all committing?

You shouldn’t be asking what they do for a living as it seems too “opportunistic”. According to Cosmopolitan, Myka Meier, who created an etiquette app, called, Beaumont Etiquette, bringing up someone’s career (or lack thereof) can feel like you’re asking, “‘so how much money do you make?’ or “So how well educated are you?”

So what topics does Meier suggest you stick with if you want to take the relationship further?

Well, there’s a person’s background, interests and where they were raised or where they live now.

Also, you could be on the wrong app. Check out our gay dating app review for the best dating app experience.

13th November 2016
How not to be a douche when you have to dump your boyfriend

It’s a sad fact of life that all good things must come to an end and that includes relationships.
CREDIT: (C) Lopolo Depositphotos

So if you’ve decided that time is up on your relationship we’ve got some suggestions on how not to make a pig’s ear out of the breakup process. Yes, it’s likely to hurt, and it’s probably going to get messy. So here’s ten tips on how not to be a douche when you dump someone.

1) Is it really over?

Are you sure? Can it be fixed or perhaps, more importantly, is it worth fixing? If it is then maybe, you need to hash it out with your partner. Have an honest discussion about your feelings.

2) Give an actual reason.

Don’t trot out that clichéd line, “It’s not you, it’s me”. Do you know how annoying that is? It means nothing and doesn’t help the other side have some closure. If there’s no other reason apart from the fact that you’ve fallen out of love, then say that. It can be harsh to say, but the reality of those words should hit home.

3) Quit it and don’t go back.

ARRRRGHHH. Stop playing with my heart. If the relationship is over, make sure it’s over. Don’t give the impression that things could be fixed if they can’t be.

4) Speak to a friend.

Chat with your friends about your plans before you make that break. They may have some insight or advice for you. Ultimately it’s your choice, but it doesn’t hurt to communicate what you’re feeling.

5) Think about you, but also think about him.

Remember you did once love or intensely like this guy, so be nice. Be honest and be firm. THEGAYUK’s very own Jordan Lohan suggests: “Honour the love you once had for each other by being respectful to one another during the breakup process. Break ups don’t need to be messy if you choose for them not to be.”

6) Don’t procrastinate.

If you’ve made your decision don’t hold off until the “right moment”. Even if that means you’re going to lose money, because you’ve got a holiday coming up or theatre tickets or whatever. If you own a house together or have a huge financial commitment together, then you might need to stay together for a bit longer, once you’ve broken up, until you can sort and separate your finances.

7) Don’t feel sorry for him.

He’s not a child, and he doesn’t need your pity. Try not to feel guilty for your actions. You’re doing this for a reason, hopefully, to make you both better people! Keep focused.

8) Set out some post-bofxit (post boyfriend) rules.

Set out some simple communication rules. Only texts, only emails – or whatever works for you. Don’t get drawn into long, complicated conversations. Keep it polite and professional.

9) Let him blow.

He might have a few words to say after you tell him you’re done. If he gets angry, just listen. Don’t retaliate and don’t goad. If you feel physically threatened leave. It’s only natural that if the breakup comes as a shock that he might react in an angry way.

10) Plan your exit.

Don’t rely on him to drive you home or lend you cash for a cab after breaking it off. Make sure you know what your exit plan is.

8th November 2016
ADVICE| Is my depression medication keeping me from getting an erection?

This week’s sexual health column focuses on the possibility that depression medications cause erectile dysfunction. Pharmacy2U’s Medical Director Dr Nitin Shori takes a closer look.

Dear TGUK,

I’m in my 30s and I’ve been having trouble getting it up. I’m currently on medication for depression so I’m wondering if that’s what’s causing it. I don’t want to come off the depression meds, but my failure at not being able to keep an erection is causing a few issues in the bedroom.

Paul

Dear Paul,

A low sex drive and inability to maintain an erection can be a side effect of many antidepressants. However, depression itself can also cause these same problems.

It’s important that you treat your depression and tackle the underlying factors that might be causing it. If you speak to your GP they may be able to change your medication to one that has less of an affect on your libido or consider whether your depression itself is the cause.

There are also other factors that can affect your sex drive and it may be worth considering them.

Erectile dysfunction, or impotence, is a very common condition, particularly among older men.

Stress, anxiety, fatigue and certain health conditions are also common factors in causing impotence, while excessive drug or alcohol miss-use can also affect sexual performance.

Another factor could be age. Testosterone levels naturally start to fall for most men from the age of about 30 or 40.

While many automatically associate testosterone with sexual performance, this powerful hormone has a much wider influence and can often impact on energy levels and motivation, as well as loss of strength and muscle mass.

If the above is ringing bells you can test for testosterone and consider gels or supplements which will boost your levels. You can get testosterone testing kits and prescriptions online if you’re pressed for time to see your doctor and want to rule this out.

There’s also a range of products that can help with erectile dysfunction available online if you want to be discreet, including Viagra.

Given your circumstances, you should discuss your antidepressant medication with your GP before you start exploring other potential causes of impotence.

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2nd November 2016
So who burns more calories during sex, top or bottom?

So it’s well a known fact that sex is an amazing way to keep fit. A good session can burn hundreds of calories, but who burns the most, the top or bottom?

CREDIT: ©-Lopolo-Depositphotos

So health experts suggest that we need at least 30 minutes of exercise 4 times a week and sex, yes sexy time, can count towards your fitness goal.

But which partner will burn the most calories? Does it matter whether you’re topping or bottoming?

Well, Superdrug has a website that can calculate how many calories you and your partner will burn during your session – whether you’re giving or receiving. It also helps you choose the positions which will work you out even harder – yes squatting as a bottom will burn you some serious calories… feel the burn.

So let’s say that your session last 40 minutes – and you do a bit of: 69ing, doggying, cowboying and finishing up with some missionary… who do you think will burn more, top or bottom?

If you’re the bottom you will have burnt a rather safe 151 calories, however, if you’re topping you’ll be burning a whopping 162 calories.

ALSO READ: How to make 4 everyday sex position into AMAZING sex positions

ALSO READ: Five things you need to do to turn SNOOZE sex into WOOOO sex

That’s the equivalent of running for at least a mile, 34 minutes of yoga, or over 2 miles of biking. We know which we’d rather do!

However, the bottom doesn’t always burn less calories, the following positions could see you burn through a mountain of calories: The cowboy, the reverse cowboy, a lapdance and the wheelbarrow, you could burn 230 calories- whilst your top would burn just 93!

26th October 2016
Gay Guys: 11 things you should definitely say during sex

Are you a sexy-time talker? Chances are you’re staying stone-cold silence during the deed. Here’s why talking during sex is a good thing to do.

CREDIT: ©-dnf-style-Depositphotos

They say communication is the key to successful relationships and there’s no reason why this shouldn’t happen in the bedroom to bring you a successful sex life. So here’s 11 things you should definitely say or do in bed if you’re looking for better sex.

Are you close?

It’s okay to ask, but as always it’s in the tone of your voice. Ask in a bored tone or a voice that is dripping with sarcasm might just ruin the flow… Asking whether your guy is getting close to coming could mean that you can climax together. Bonus

I like it when you…

“Blow me”, “lick my balls”, “rim” or “just stick it in”. Guys, we’re not mind readers and unless you voice what it is you want to happen next the likelihood is that it won’t happen and life is too short for crappy unfulfilling sex.

I’ll give it ago

Has your partner just suggested doing something a bit left-field? Instead of saying, “no” why not, unless it literally makes you sick to your core, try it out. You never know, it could be the best thing you’ve ever done. As I like to say, “don’t say no, till you give it ago”.

I need a moment…

If, for whatever reason you need to take some time out, just say so. Don’t worry about disappearing erections and the mood flying out the window, those things will always come back…

I love your body

Is your partner a little body conscious? Telling him that you love his body could really help the barriers come down and the sex to become wild. By communicating that you’re really enjoying his body will ramp up the moment.

No!

If something is not your cup-of-tea then you have the right to say, “no”. If you’re getting involved with some kinky play then you and your partner should agree on a safe word which is absolute. If things get a little hairy the safe word must mean an absolute end to the activity at hand.

You taste so good.

Some men are worried about the taste of their goodies. Especially if the sex you’re having is a bit unplanned. So feed his penis or ass some encouragement.

Moan and then moan some more.

If you’re a little weirded out by using actual words use moans and groans to communicate your pleasure! The louder and more insistent the moan the more obvious it should be to how much you’re enjoying the play.

You look amazing in that position…

The problem with sex, sometimes, is that some positions can feel a little compromising and a little exposed. Some encouragement could do your partner wonders in the confidence arena, plus if the view is spectacular you should mention it. You wouldn’t climb Everest without commenting on the vista!

I Love You

If it’s appropriate and you are in love, saying, “I love you” during sex could be a real bonding moment. However, it’s probably best not to say it for the first time during your session. Feel the moment, if it feels right to, do it.

Thank you

Manners cost nothing and mean everything.

25th October 2016
10 things you’re doing wrong if your sex life has died

It’s completely normal if after a while the excitement in your sex life dies a little.

They say, don’t they, that the 7-year-inch is real. It’s apparently the time where, if you’re in a long-term relationship you start, maybe, to look around at what you’re missing, while totally forgetting that everything you need is standing right in front of you.

So what can you do to ensure all your cylinders are firing? We spoke to Rachael McCoy, an award winning sex and relationship coach about the simple things that we can do to make sure you’re getting amazing sex, even if you’re 7 years deep into your relationship

So what can you do to ensure all your cylinders are firing? We spoke to Rachael McCoy, an award winning sex and relationship coach about the simple things that we can do to make sure you’re getting amazing sex, even if you’re 7 years deep into your relationship

Turn off your technology

Have at least one night a month where you promise to turn all tech and outside distractions off and just spend time together. In this modern day, we all have tablets, phones and other forms of gadgets that distract us away from quality time together.

Buy a gift

Aim to take it in turns to surprise the other person with a gift or experience that they really enjoy. A great tip on how to do this is to listen when your partner says things they like. Make a note on your phone and when they are least expecting it, spring it on them. They’ll be so grateful that you remembered.

Massage your way to climax

Erotic massage is a great treat that never gets old. When you know your husband/ wife has been having a stressful time, greet them one day after work with some massage oil, a candle lit (warm) room and work your magic to massage their stress away.

ALSO READ: Five things you need to do to turn snooze sex in PHWOAR sex

Chow down

Taking the time to cook your partner a nice meal is a lovely gesture as it shows your spending time and energy to do something thoughtful for them. Actually sitting down and eating together (not in front of the TV) is becoming less common these days too so make sure the table is set and you can both talk about your day/ week or life in general.

Roxanne, you don’t have to turn on that red light – ‘cept you should.

Get a red light bulb and swap it with your normal bulb. It completely changes the look and atmosphere in the room, instantly making it feel very seductive and naughty.

Get some friends

Going out with friends may not seem romantic at the time but socialising and ‘representing’ as a couple with friends is a really fun thing to do. In other people’s presence, we tend to be more playful. It will give you lots of things to talk about and it’s something you can both enjoy together.

ALSO READ: 13 myths about gay sex

Oral

Some spontaneous oral sex is always a pleasurable treat for a loved one. Catch them when they are nice and clean but not expecting your sexy treat. Make the effort to spend a decent amount of time working their ‘goodies’ with your lips and tongue.

Be sentimental

For an incredibly sentimental gift idea, how about putting together a collage of images. It will be even more romantic if you do it for no apparent reason, just to make them happy. There are plenty of apps that do this now or you could print off your favourite picture memories and cut them to fit nicely in a frame. It proudly shows your declaration of love and will definitely show your partner you care.

Separate

Doing things separately may seem the opposite of romantic but actually it’s a very healthy thing to do in marriages (and relationships in general). As much as you love each other, living in each other’s pockets can become suffocating and predictable. Doing hobbies separately creates desire and interest into the other person, giving you both some great conversation too.

Show gratitude

Remember to show gratitude. In long term relationships it’s easy to forget to say the little things like ‘Thank you’ ‘I love this about you’ or ‘I’m so grateful for’. This mainly happens because we’ve said it so many times before and we just expect the other person to know. But it is imperative that you always remember to tell your husband/ wife these things regularly. It will make all the difference to your marriage and help ensure that it’s a long and happy one.

20th October 2016
10 things you need to stay clear of to make your climax taste better

Have you been noticing your partner’s face turning a deep shade of green after you’ve deposited your spooge in his mouth?

If you’re getting a yucky response to your jerk sauce then maybe it’s time to take a look at what you’re ingesting – as some of what you’re eating can affect the taste of your cum.

So here’s the 10 things you need to stay clear of.

1) Dairy

Too many dairy products can make your love milk taste salty, so is best to keep consumption of cheese and milk to a minimum.

2) Being dehydrated

Drinking more water helps wash out pollutants from your body. Most of your climax is actually water, so making sure you’re well-hydrated means that you could have more volume which will dilute the natural taste of your load.

3) Asparagus

It makes your pee smell and your man mayo taste awful. So if you’re out on a hot date make sure you stay away from the grilled asparagus.

4) Coffee

It’s a good job to cut down on all pollutants including caffeine. Too much coffee could actually change the taste of your baby batter and make it much more bitter. It’s best to limit your coffee intake to around 4 cups a day.

5) Meat

Red meats have to go, I’m sorry, but if you want to keep your boy smiling, then it’s out with meats, like beef, lamb and pork. Swap with good quality, high protein cuts of chicken and turkey.

6) Onions

Your two little love-juice making chums do not like onions. Neither do they like garlic because of their high sulphur content! It all makes for a nasty tasting load.

7) No chlorophyll in your diet

High chlorophyll is good for tasty cupid’s toothpaste. You can find chlorophyll in parsley, wheatgrass, and celery. Go for it chow down on those sticks of celery.

8) Alcohol

Alcohol is known to make your jizz taste bitter, it can also play havoc with your sexual performance so keep yourself in tip top shape and cut back on the lagers.

9) Ciggies

If you’ve ever blown a guy who smokes you’ll know that his man muck is pretty rank.

10) Want super tasting cum?

The following foods are super good for tastier sperm: Pineapples, papayas, cranberries, melons, mangos, apples, grapes and lemons are all good choices. Fruits that are high in natural sugars help offset the bitter taste of your man chowder.

ALSO READ: 7 things you probably shouldn’t use strawberry lube for

ALSO READ: Why does my boyfriend’s penis smell so much

ALSO READ: 6 tips for easier bottoming

Changes to your food intake will start to have an effect on your Love Liquor in around 12 to 24 hours, so keep this in mind; it’s best to have a day of clean livin’ for the rampant dirty night after.

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19th October 2016
7 things you should seriously not do with Strawberry lube

Chances are if you’ve used Strawberry Lube you’ve probably been using it properly. You know for sex. However, these hilarious Amazoners have been using their lube for different purposes – some of the crafty buggers have used the sticky lube as a breakfast spread.

As yummy as strawberry lube can be, you probably shouldn’t be using it as a spread for your / your Mother-in-Law’s sandwiches (although it is totally non-toxic).

Durex’s sex and relationships expert Alix Fox said,

“It’s lovely to see people having a laugh – after all, a sense of humour is one of the best accessories you can bring into the bedroom – but obviously I advise that folks should follow the usage instructions supplied with sexual wellbeing products, which means sticking to what they’re designed for.
“Durex flavoured lubes are completely safe to consume, so popping them on puddings shouldn’t do you any harm, but there are better ways to use them. They’re for bodies, not breakfasts, and although they’re brilliant whether you’re a top or a bottom, they’re not intended for topping toast!”

Ice cream van owner’s customers are mad for the red stuff…

“I’ve owned an ice cream van for nearly 30 years and I can’t tell you enough how wonderful this product is. Basically a lot of my customers ask for Red Sauce when purchasing a 99 with flake. I have found it hard to keep up with demand as well as soaring strawberry prices. So in order to keep my customers happy I tried Durex Play Sweet Strawberry and have never looked back. My customers now think I only serve organic free-range strawberry sauce because it tastes so dam good. Also, you should see their children’s glistening smile after one of my 99’s it really gives me a sense of purpose and knowing I am top of my game in the world of mobile frozen dairy goodness. A****”

Sam found himself using it when he ran out of Jam!

“I used it on my toast when I run out of strawberry jam. Tasted wonderful”

One user seemed to have trouble keeping it in the zone

” GF says its gets in her hair and is sticky!!”

Corey’s Mother-In-Law apparently lives for it

“Execellent sandwich spread mother in law loves it”

Dad’s Jam

“I ran out of strawberry jam and so I used this to put in the kids rice pudding. They couldn’t tell the difference and they’re pretty intelligent”

Mr. Maker needs his morning fix

“I love the taste of this stuff, you can even put it on your corn flakes! ?”

Replacing Mayo???

“me and the misses usually [sic] use yoghurt or mayo. this is nice olternative [sic] lol tasty the misses as a mouth full”

Fancy doing something weird and wonderful with your lube, Alix suggests,

“If you’re determined to get creative with ’em, try making your own frozen flavoured ‘Lube Cubes’. Pour some of the gel into an ice cube tray, pop it in the freezer for a few hours to set, then when it’s ready, trail a cube over your lover’s skin during an intimate massage. Let it melt on their body for a thrilling, chilling sensation, then warm them up by following the trail of juicy flavour with your hot tongue.”

Want some strawberry jam lube to try for yourself – head on over to THEGAYSHOP.co.uk store and check out the range of flavoured lubes.

14th October 2016
6 tips for easier bottoming

So if you’re new to bottoming or you’re just looking some tips on to how to make it easier, here’s some tips

You on top.

This position is normally called the Cowboy. The best way to control how far your partner goes in is with you on top. With you on top you can also control the speed of the thrusts – or limit them altogether. You can be in complete control of the movement, because your partner’s range of movement will be limited.

Your hand in the way.

So if you’re tired with the cowboy position you can try all manner of other positions, but try this trick. If your partner is just too long for you, you can put your hand in the way. So imagine putting his penis through your fist and then into you. That eliminates around 3 inches of his actual length. The “top” partner shouldn’t really feel any less pleasure- especially if you lube up the inside of your palm.

As you get more accustomed you can change the fist into a V shape made from your index and middle finger in front of your butthole.

ALSO READ: How to make ordinary sexual positions even more exciting

Spooning position.

Another range limiting position is the spooning position, where you lie on your side and your partner comes in from behind also lying on his side. To limit the range of thrust close your legs – as you get used to the feeling of him inside you, you can start to open your legs more.

ALSO READ: How to bottom like a pro – porn star Kit Wilde explains how to shag like a pro

It’s all in the Prep.

Spending some time by yourself – prepping can actually help loosen you up. If you’re comfortable douching that will definitely get your butt more relaxed. You can try with a shower head, however, you must be careful of water pressure and the heat of the water – or with an actual douche.

Douches are relatively inexpensive, you can even order them through Amazon.

Prep can also come in the guise of using a little dildo or vibrator that you can have some fun with before the main event. You could even have two one small and one larger for when you get a little more relaxed.

Prelube yourself.

After prepping yourself, why not pre-lube yourself. Don’t just wait before you’re actually in the moment, you could try using a thicker butter lube like the Male Cobeco Butter lube or even Crisco. Using your finger take a blob of the butter and put it right inside you. However using a butter lube might not be suitable to use with latex condoms – always check the packaging for instructions.

Tell Him STFD

In the end it’s your body and your butt. If you’re not happy TELL HIM. Or as we like to say… Slow The F*** DOWN. There’s no need to rush and you should take your time. Be sensitive to your body and let go at your pace.

As always lots of lube… and condoms!

Have you got tips – put them in the comments below!

Want some further reading trying this book How to Bottom Without Pain

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7th October 2016
What was you scariest Grindr, Jack’d or Scuff meet up?

Ah, the world the of Internet and app dating.

Dick pix, location requests and way too much information.

Tell us about your scariest hook ups.

I’m closer than you think…

Was it so bad that you had to talk to someone about it?

What it racist, homophobic, total asshole?

Use the comments below to let us know and you could feature in a future article!

*T&C apply.

5th October 2016
Why does my boyfriend’s penis smell so much?

So if you like peen – and we’re assuming you do – what happens if your boyfriend has a stinky pinky what can you do about it?

Well one concerned Reddit user asked the internet what could be done about the boyfriend’s stinky junk. The internet was well versed on this problem and wisdom leaked from every pore. Here’s 9 thing you could do…

1) He needs to do more than just wash while showering.

“The cause of the odor is in the skin so just washing off the goop isn’t going to completely eliminate the smell. He has to keep himself clean enough so that it doesn’t build up in the first place.”

2) Proper cleaning.

“Foreskin should be pulled back completely. He should rinse every part of the glans with his fingers and water. Rub away the smegma/residue.” salem2474

3) Stop using soap

“This part will be controversial, but….I stopped using soap. Like, nowhere on my body. And my odour improved. Other people who have tried no soap have reported the same thing.” salem2474

4) Sugar monster

Could sugar be your problem?

“I neglected to add diet. I mostly cut out sugar. I’ve noticed if I ever go on a binge, there will be a temporary increase in odour/smegma just afterwards.”

5) Get hard in the shower

“I also know how easy it is to fix. tell him he needs to get hard in the shower, and once his forskin [sic] is stretching back, rub it with his fingers, he’ll be able to see how much white film is caked there (You really cant clean it soft) sugarantssuck

6) Are you able to retract?

“Is it difficult for you to pull back when soft? That could actually indicate something like phimosis. You’re supposed to be able to fully retract it while soft.”

7) Save water and co-shower

©-Dmyrto_Z-Depositphotos

“Make it sexy by co-showering pre-sexy time.” IamtheBiscuit

8) Rubber duckie

“Rather than showers, take a long warm bath with lots of water and add some baking soda to the water.”Not_Reddit

9) Dry it off

“drying it properly also as a wet willy is perfect for bacteria to grow in under foreskin”judochop1

OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

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25th September 2016