THEGAYUK

Category: Wellness

  • Giving up on your resolutions? Ten ways to fight that festive flab

    Giving up on your resolutions? Ten ways to fight that festive flab

    Garry Kerr from British Military Fitness should know a thing or two about getting fit. He shared a few of his top tips to fight the Christmas Pudding bulge.

    how to get fit after Christmas
    CREDIT: curaphotography-bigstock

    Nom, nom, nom…extra eating: During the winter and especially over the festive season we typically eat more than we would normally and exercising is a great way to burn those extra calories and keep yourself in shape so when spring finally arrives you’re in tip-top shape! Here are some tips to help you beat the Christmas flab!

    1. Keep a fitness journal!
    A workout log can help keep your exercise routine on track when you’re struggling to stay motivated because it will show you how far you’ve come since you started, and therefore how worthwhile it is to keep going.

    2. Commit yourself.
    Get moving! Just do it! There is no time like the start of a New Year. You’ve got the indulgences of Christmas behind but it’s important you commit. Why not write all the classes you can attend in your diary so they are viewed as actual appointments and you’re less likely to cancel.

    3. Set short-term goals
    Having something specific to aim for, such as losing a certain amount of weight or entering a race / marathon, for example, the Major Series (www.majorseries.com) in the Spring will help you stick to your training plan. But make sure your goals are achievable. Setting and failing to reach outlandish targets will put you off.

    4. Find the fun in it
    Exercise should not feel like torture. After all, you have made a conscious decision to do it. You can take great pleasure in overcoming challenges and progressing with your fitness alongside other people.
    Does that mean that it will be easy? No. In order to change your body, you need to experience ‘overload’. This means that you need to keep challenging your body in order to increase your fitness levels. You will, however, improve your fitness levels if you rest and recover properly after each workout.

    5. Reward yourself
    Once you’ve hit one of your targets reward yourself. By training and committing to your training you’ve earned the right to spoil yourself. Whether it’s a new item of clothing or fitness-related gadgets or clothing – enjoy your achievements.

    6. Use visualisation
    If you don’t believe that you can do that final burpee or make it through those final reps, you certainly won’t be able to but by picturing yourself doing it before you try it, you’ll create a mental template that can translate into success.

    7. Eating right
    Food is 90% of the health and fitness battle. You can make great changes just by making small adjustments to your eating habits alone. While changing any habits may seem like a daunting task, there is a wealth of resources available to guide you. By eating a regular mix of proteins, fats and carbohydrates you will reap the benefits of your physical training routine. You will have both the energy to perform and the nutritional foundations needed for recovery. This exercise and nutrition relationship will help you to achieve your goals

    8. Be realistic
    Rome wasn’t built in a day. Unfortunately, while over-used, there is some truth in that saying.
    A healthy approach is to aim to improve on yesterday. By repeating this process you will start to feel like you have made great improvements over a course of weeks, months and years. It is also important to consider where you want to be.

    9. There is gain without pain!
    While exercise should be challenging in order to encourage the body to adapt and therefore improve, it should not lead to any injuries.
    Many people, particularly those new to exercise can become over-enthusiastic because of the physical changes that they experience. Our bodies can only truly complete exercises at 100% intensity for a number of seconds. Exercises completed over the course of an hour-long session are performed below maximum intensity. You should, therefore, focus more on your technique and try to work as hard as possible but not push yourself to the point of nausea.

    10. Abandon an all-or-nothing attitude
    Don’t think of exercise with an all-or-nothing approach. If you unexpectedly miss a session, don’t beat yourself up. Just get back on track tomorrow. Remember; exercise and fitness is a way of life, it’s not a destination.

    British Military Fitness (BMF) is the UK’s number one provider of outdoor fitness classes. BMF was the first, it’s the biggest and it’s the best. Come rain, shine or snow, BMF runs over 400 classes a week in over 120 parks and outdoor spaces across the UK. www.britishmilitaryfitness.com

  • These five foods will make you a god (sort of) in bed

    Adding food to the bedroom is a classic way to spice things up with a partner. But did you know that food can heighten libido and improve your performance between the sheets? We-Vibe has collated the best foodie tricks and tips for you to put to the (taste) test!

    – Figs: These small fruits pack some big benefits. They are bursting with calcium, iron, potassium, and more of that stimulating zinc. They are also packed with fibre, which boosts heart health and satisfies hunger without adding to your waistline.

    – Strawberries: Don’t forget to bring this mouth-watering dessert on your next picnic. Strawberries are an excellent source of vitamin B, which has been linked to high sperm counts in men. Go one step further and coat them in chocolate, as it is full of libido-boosting methylxanthines! (Why do you think it’s such a popular Valentine’s Day gift?!)

    -Almonds: These healthy nuts are said to act as a sexual stimulant and a fertility aid, so if you’re trying for a baby, start snacking! They are rich in nutrients and in several minerals that are important for sexual health and reproduction, including zinc, selenium, and vitamin E. Zinc can also help enhance sexual desire – added bonus!

    -Avocados: The name for this South American fruit derives from the Aztec language Nahuatl, in which it meant ‘testicle’ – a name chosen for the fruit’s unusual shape. It may seem like a bit of a stretch to us, but avocados do have some sexy benefits! They are rich in unsaturated fats, making them very heart-healthy. And a healthy heart keeps the blood flowing to all the right places! Men with underlying heart disease are twice as likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction, so feel free to add some extra avocado slices to your salads.

    -Eggs: Poached, scrambled or fried, eggs are sure to rev you up after a long day at work. They are full of protein, which keeps you going without packing on the calories. They’re also an excellent source of amino acids, which combat certain types of heart ailments as well as erectile dysfunction. There’s a reason Dean Martin likes his eggs with a kiss in the morning…

  • Five things you should know when using PrEP

    As more and more countries work to make PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylactic) available for an affordable price, we thought it would be a good time to look at the pros and cons of people taking PrEP. But first, let’s cover the basics for those who don’t already know what PrEP is.

    PrEP is a drug that people who are HIV- can take in order to prevent HIV infection. It is important to note that PrEP is not a vaccine against HIV, meaning that if you stop taking the pills they stop protecting your body. It is also not a cure for HIV. People who already have HIV use similar medication in order to keep the virus in check, or at an ‘undetectable’ level.

    There is a lot of recent research into the effectiveness of PrEP, mostly because each country’s government that has looked into the drug has run its own tests. In some cases, this has been the cheapest way for people to obtain PrEP, as study participants obtain the drug and associated tests free of charge. Below we’ll look at five things you should know about when using PrEP.

    You should get tested for HIV and other medical conditions before starting PrEP.

    It is also important to note that the required testing that should take place before and during the administration of PrEP are important. Firstly one should be tested for HIV to make sure that you are HIV negative. Taking PrEP while HIV+ may cause mutations of the virus that become resistant to PrEP. Markus Feser who works with Hamburg-based HIV community action group Hein & Fiete remarks that it is also important to have a general check-up before beginning prep, as it is possible that taking PrEP for extended lengths of time can lower your bone density. Other side effects may also include headache, abdominal pain, decreased weight, nausea, and diarrhea. Less common side effects include lactic acidosis, liver dysfunction, and worsening of Hepatitis B infection. Recent studies have shown that there is no issue taking PrEP in conjunction with Hep B medication, however.

    PrEP might not be your best solution.

    You might hear things like ‘everyone should be on PrEP’ but this might not actually be the case. Most community action groups, and the doctors at 56 Dean Street, advocate a more measured approach to the uptake of PrEP. While PrEP is the latest defence against the rising number of HIV infections, it is not the only defence. There are of course people who prefer to use condoms as their prophylactic of choice, and decide not to use PrEP. For others who are not yet sexually active, or are only sexually active with one committed partner, there is no need to take PrEP. Likewise, if you are only having sex with someone who already has HIV but is undetectable, there may also be no need for you to take PrEP. If you fall into the category of people who have sex with multiple partners, has sex in high-risk situations (chem-sex, bareback, darkrooms etc.) then you may want to take PrEP regularly.

    You don’t have to take it every day.

    Purchasing PrEP is often an expensive prospect – which is why participating in a study is the way that many people can afford to be on the drug. But recent studies presented at the European AIDS Clinical Society 2017 Conference in Milan that show that taking PrEP on an as-needed basis, two to twenty-four hours before sexual activity and daily until two days after the last contact, known as the ‘event-based method’, or taking the pill 4 days a week: on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday; known as T’s and S’s are also effective ways to protect yourself against HIV infection. This new information, along with grey-market ways to obtain the drug, have made taking PrEP a more affordable prospect. In the UK up to a 3-month supply can be ordered online without a prescription from various websites, for those in Continental Europe, many of these same websites deliver directly to a few countries. If your country isn’t in the delivery lists, some will deliver to a middle-man delivery company who will then deliver onward to you. These orders will often incur import/VAT duties when arriving in the UK, and middle-man companies will charge a fee to forward the delivery. From my own experience, this makes the pills about 50€ per month, if taken every day. Obviously, this cost can be brought down if using intermittent methods.

    There are good reasons to take it.

    If you’re like me, you think that sex without condoms feels better. I usually don’t enjoy sex with a condom – if I’m the top – and quickly lose my erection while putting a condom on (though I have other pills to help with that now too). I often have sex in club darkrooms, when I’m heavily under the influence of various things, and not asking about my partner’s sexual history, and I often don’t carry condoms at all, though I use them if I’m asked to by my partner and he has them. In these situations though, knowing that I am on PrEP means that I don’t have to be concerned about what I have done, or what I might have done that I have forgotten about during the party. The official line from most doctors and activists is that PrEP should be used in conjunction with condoms, as a safety-net in case the condom breaks or something else goes wrong. In these cases, PrEP provides a way of knowing for sure that you’ll be safe from HIV infection when having high-risk sex.

    It doesn’t protect against other STIs.

    An important thing to remember about PrEP is that it is only a preventative against HIV. It doesn’t offer any protection against other transmittable STIs. For this reason, many people choose to use condoms to prevent against other STIs when having sex. Whether you take PrEP as a preventative against HIV or not, if you are having sex in high-risk situations, you should make sure that you are being tested regularly. Since the introduction of PrEP around the world, many areas have reported that HIV infections have fallen, including London, New York, and New South Wales. While HIV tests have remained steady, new HIV infections have dropped in places where PrEP is readily available. This is not only attributable to PrEP, as better HIV medications mean that those living with HIV are undetectable and so cannot pass on the virus to sexual partners. Here’s a side benefit: because PrEP users are encouraged to get STI tests regularly – every three months – rates of other STIs, particularly gonorrhoea, are also falling as people are having them treated more quickly. This may also be due to better health information people who aren’t on PrEP are also getting tested more frequently.

    When you’re deciding whether PrEP is right for you, there are plenty of places to find more information. London clinic 56 Dean Street have a helpful series of YouTube videos which outline some of the points made above.

    If you want to get PrEP, and you’re in London, you can visit 56 Dean Street clinic, 10 Hammersmith Broadway, or Homerton clinics. The NHS Impact trial has participating clinics all over the UK. Click the link to search for a clinic near you where you can take part. Participating in the trial is free for those who are selected to take part. 10,000 participants are required for the trial, with clinics already open, and others opening intake soon.

    For those unable to participate in the trial, or who are able to pay for PrEP themselves, check I Want Prep Now.co.uk to find out where to purchase it online. If you’re in the Republic of Ireland, a website has been set up to help you obtain PrEP online.

    If you’re in mainland Europe, Dynamix can also provide tested and proven PrEP, delivered to the UK and Europe. If you live in a country where you cannot get PrEP delivered directly, such as Germany, Dynamix will deliver to a middle-man delivery company such as Borderlinx who will pass the delivery on to you for a fee. This is the process I use, and Dynamix and Borderlinx have not contributed to THEGAYUK.com for this referral.

    Readers in Barcelona can now contact the first European community PrEP centre to get advice and support while considering or taking PrEP.

    As with any medical treatment, you should always consult with your doctor, and make sure you make the right choices for yourself.

  • People are getting their penises whitened

    A hospital in Thailand is offering a penis whitening service.

    You can get your penis whitened for around £480  for 5 sessions, which will apparently, using lasers lighten the skin around your groin area – for reasons that, let’s be frank are a complete mystery.

    Now men who are afraid that their penises seem a little too dark can now get it lightened after the clinic in Thailand started offering the service.

    According to the Evening Standard, around 100 men have already sought out the help of the professionals.

    The Lelux Hospital started offering the treatment following requests from would-be patients who found out that the same clinic was offering vagina whitening. Speaking to the BBC, spokesperson Popol Tansakul said, “Patients started to ask about penis whitening, and so we started the treatment a month later

    “They are popular among gay men and transvestites who take good care of their private parts. They want to look good in all areas,” he added.

    The cost of the laser procedure is $650 (£480) for five sessions

    Of course, the treatment does come with a warning – that some may be left unable to have sex or father children after the procedure.

     

    Again… why?

  • You need these tips if you’re planning a boozy Christmas

    “I have never gone to bed with an ugly man, though I often woke up with one next to me.” This is the problem with having your ‘beer goggles’ on.

    At this time of year, it is essential to know your limits and understand how alcohol affects the body and mind. After a lifetime as a lush, I have a few tips.

    First don’t get drunk and then you won’t wake up next to ‘Ugly bugly.’ Christmas may be a time of charity, but you don’t have to give your body away in an alcoholic stupor.

    When drinking alcohol:

    1. Know the abv (alcohol by volume) of what you are drinking, to know what constitutes one unit or ask the bartender, they should know.
    2. Each unit of alcohol takes 20 to 30 minutes to have an effect. (If you have four shots quickly the full effect is not going to hit you for up to 2 hours)
    3. Pace yourself. Try to drink in line with the time each unit takes to get into your bloodstream and affect you. (This way you get to maintain being at an enjoyable level and stay in control)
    4. Drink water. Try to drink ½ pint of water with every unit of alcohol. (This aids the prevention of dehydration, and helps to stave off a hangover in the morning)
    5. Carbonated drinks such as Champagne get into the bloodstream quicker, as does alcohol with diet mixers.
    6. Sugary mixers slow down the rate of absorption of alcohol.

     

    Sobering up

    It takes the body approximately one hour to process each unit of alcohol after the first two hours from the start of consumption. If you go out drinking and have 8 pints at two units of alcohol each starting at 8 pm, this is the process:

    8 pints x 2 units each = 16 units

    No alcohol processed in first 2 hours. Drinking start time 8 pm

    Processing start time 10 pm at a rate of 1 unit per hour

    Sober 16 hours later at 2 pm the afternoon of the next day.

    This is only a guideline as the rate of alcohol processing by the body is dependent on many factors and so not the same for everyone. For instance, eating a large meal will slow down the processing time of alcohol.

    (2 units per pint is a weak beer. Strong and super lagers have more units per pint)

    Hangover hints

    It will go away on its own over time. Manage symptoms and feel better sooner by:

    1. Get some fresh air and be in a well-ventilated room. No one wants to smell your beer breathe, least of all you.
    2. Drink plenty of water.
    3. If you feel sick, reduce the body temperature by being in a cold room or turning down the heating.
    4. My personal hangover cure – Tinned plum tomatoes on burnt toast. (My rationale is that tomatoes are moist so can be consumed even when you are not producing a lot of saliva. They also contain vitamin C and sugar without the high acidity of orange juice. I have always thought the carbon of the burnt toast will help to keep the food down by absorbing bile and stomach acid.) It works for me; normally within 20 to 30 minutes, I can start to feel recovery kicking in.
    5. Again just purely personal – I believe if I have poisoned my body by getting drunk, painkillers are not the answer, they just add to the work the kidneys have to do so I avoid them

    If alcohol were a prescription medicine, the bottle would read ‘Do not drive or operate machinery while taking this medication’ In the list of common side effects such things as:

    1. May cause slurred speech
    2. May have an adverse effect on body coordination
    3. May affect balance
    4. Can cause loss of and damage to short-term memory
    5. May adversely affect control of bladder and bowel
    6. May cause the patient to be susceptible to suggestion
    7. Can cause disinhibited behaviour of poor moral choice
    8. Can induce some patients to have violent episodes

    I would have to be seriously ill to consider taking a medication that had such potential for harm, and yet we dress up, go out and pay for it and worse still we receive and buy it for our friends too.

    These days I am old, ugly and fat. Have a Merry Christmas and follow my guidelines, and you should be able to avoid waking up next to me boys. Remember I am out there looking for a good time.

     

  • Unhappy liver? Here’s 7 incredible foods you need this Christmas

    Let’s face it, Christmastime can be a real killer for your body.

    Foods really good for the liver

    No fear here are seven incredible foods to help boost your liver function.

    Come the New Year; everyone will be talking about detoxing. Bottles of wine that were stashed in the vegetable drawer of the fridge will be replaced with, well, vegetables! We’ll dust off our blenders, and we’ll be juicing anything green. But what does the term detoxing mean? And can we reverse the effects of our festive indulgences?

    The good news is that our liver, the second largest organ (the first being the skin) and the detoxification hub of our bodies, is busy detoxifying all of the time. Even in December! The liver metabolises everything that we eat and are exposed to and detoxifies the entire body’s system from all ingested toxins.

    Over the festive period, it is likely that our liver will have to work a little harder than usual, with over-consumption of alcohol, sugar and processed foods. But we can be motivated by the fact that the liver is amazingly regenerative, and through diet, there is a lot we can do to help it. This essentially is what we are aiming to do when we “detox”, and certain foods have powerful liver-boosting effects.

    Top 7 foods to boost liver function

    1) Cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and kale. These are all rich in sulphur-containing compounds, which help the liver to detoxify by boosting the production of high levels of detoxifying enzymes.

    2) Garlic is rich in sulphur-containing compounds, and also, contains selenium and allicin- two powerful nutrients that help protect the liver from toxic damage.

    3) Green tea is loaded with catechins, a type of antioxidant (compounds that help the body get rid of harmful free radicals) that have been shown in studies to promote liver function and prevent the accumulation of dangerous fat in the liver

    4) Turmeric, the key component is curcumin, a potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory that prevents the liver from damage and can help to regenerate new liver cells. Turmeric also helps to stimulate the production of bile, necessary for the breakdown and processing of fats and proteins from your food, and the removal of waste and toxins.

    5) Bitter greens, such as dandelion, chicory and rocket. The bitterness of these foods helps to stimulate bile flow. They are also high in chlorophyll which plays a role in cleansing the blood and ridding the body of ingested toxins.

    6) Beetroot is bursting with antioxidants and folic acid for detoxification. It also contains betaine, a compound which promotes the regeneration of liver cells.

    7) Avocados are rich in glutathione, the ultimate liver-boosting antioxidant which prevents damage to the liver and aids detoxification.

    It really cannot be emphasised enough; loving your liver is one of the most important things that you can do for your health this winter.

  • MASSAGE | How to give your boyfriend a massage he won’t forget

    You know that story of Aladdin? The one where he rubs his lamp and gets his wishes? Well, imagine your partner’s body is that lamp. A little bit of rubbing in the right places will have him granting your every desire.

    Massage is a feel-good indulgence, and it has real health benefits. It’ll improve circulation by encouraging the flow of blood to your body’s tissues and get rid of metabolites such as lactic acids. By stimulating the lymph nodes, you can improve the immune system, but best of all it stimulates the endorphins. You know, the body’s natural feel-good chemical.

    So get your hands busy on your man – don’t go straight for the genie (new penis euphemism) try and rub around elsewhere and you’ll have him granting at least three wishes.

    Preparation.

    Ask your gentleman to lie stomach down on the bed. Naked. Now, this is the tricky bit, because you’ll probably want to get right down to business, but hold out – it will be worth it.

    Put some pillows under his stomach to support the lower back. You – the masseur, should wear some loose fitting cotton, full-length joggers or pyjamas. If you don’t, the massage will feel quite prickly once you start using oils.

    Have the lights turned low, maybe some candles? Massage candles are incredible to use. After the fragrant candle is lit, its wax melts into a pleasantly warm massage oil. Just pour a little oil onto your partner for a pampering, indulging and nourishing massage. Available for £9.99 in two scents, A Trip To Athens and A Trip To Rome. Both smell absolutely divine.

    Let’s begin…

    Place a pillow under his head so he can rest his head on one side comfortably.

    Feet. Gently rotate each foot in circular motions three times clockwise and anticlockwise. Cup your hands around the ankles and rub downwards towards the toes. Work your thumbs into the sole of each foot and the arch of the foot. Feet carry a lot of tension, especially if your man spends a lot of time on his feet. Gently pull each toe to help release any tension in the toes. Sometimes you may hear them click as they release, this is fine and normal. Listen to his reaction. You soon learn what he loves and what he’s less keen on.

    Legs. Working upwards, warm some essential oil into the palm of your hands and work your palm upwards towards the heart. Use moderate strength. When you reach the calf area use your thumbs to massage into each of the calves. The calves are huge and strong muscles and may need extra attention. Keep the massage movement long and sweeping. The blood should really start pumping as you near the…

    Buttocks. As tempted as you might be to stop off here and end the massage tour of his body, don’t! It will be all worth the while when you’re done. The butt is the biggest muscle in the body; you can apply much greater pressure here to help release any tension that he may have. If your man is feeling a little self-conscious, then always massage from the outside edge of the buttock to the middle – if you work the other way round you will open the cheeks of the buttocks and expose him, which may make him feel uncomfortable.

    Back. Running your fingers up your partner’s back should have him squirming in pleasure. The back is a massive erogenous zone for many men – so he’ll enjoy a variety of different techniques here. Tracing his spine with your two thumbs run the entire length of the backbone, stretching out the top of the neck when you get there. The lower and middle back may be carrying a lot of stress, especially if he works in an office all day and sits for extended periods. Using some more oils and gauging your partner’s reactions start are the base of his back and work the muscly area either side of his spine. The shoulders may be tense so begin gently with your thumbs, progressively increasing the pressure to rub out those crunchy muscles.

    Shoulders. Work your thumbs in circular motions; gently apply pressure and kneading the muscles. Be careful not to place both hands on the neck as this will feel like you’re about to strangle him.

    Neck. It’s a susceptible area, so again be gentle. Gently stroke and work your thumbs and fingers into the sides of the neck. Work your way into the back of the head, and lightly knead the scalp.

    With long sweeping motions run your hands doing his neck to his coccyx (tailbone just above his asshole.) Do this a few times. This should really get him purring. Run your fingers down his crack to his scrotum – he’ll most naturally open his legs wider for you to gain access. Run your fingers around the area to really get his passion lit.

    Then let the passion commence. You can use the oils to have a slippery time together rubbing your bodies against each other – but it is best to rub away oils from the anus if you are going to penetrate. Essential and other massage oils will damage condoms and weaken condoms.

    Always use a water-based lube with condoms. Never use essential oils as a lubricant for sex. You don’t want to end up in A&E. 

  • How to talk about sex again after treatment for male cancer

    Being diagnosed with any kind of cancer can be a devastating experience, but can you start to think about sex again after treatment?

    For men, a testicular or prostate cancer diagnosis and the treatment of those cancers can lead to so many questions about their sex lives. We spoke to Dr Becky Spelman who is a relationship expert at We-Vibe who explained to us male cancers can be an emotional blow and can have a deep impact on the sex lives of survivors.

    She told us,

    “Engaging with our sex life after a serious illness is always a challenge—and it’s even trickier after treatment for a condition such as prostate or testicular cancer.  Survivors of prostate or testicular cancer may feel like they are “less of a man”, and this can pose a significant emotional blow, which can impact seriously on their sex life. They might feel unattractive, or that the illness was their fault, for some reason they don’t understand and can’t articulate. It’s important to understand that the illness is no one’s fault. Anyone can get sick. Take the time you need to engage with the emotional as well as the physical side of the healing process, and attend a professional therapist, or group therapy, if you feel it will help”.

    Things after cancer change

    Men who survive cancer can find problems with maintaining erections. Dr Becky explains,

    “Survivors of these kinds of cancer may have to live with the reality of a very different sex life than the one they had before. Many men will now be unable to maintain an erection. While this can mean the end of penetrative sex, it doesn’t have to mean the end of all sex, forever. Lots of sex acts don’t involve penetration—and, of course, there’s nothing to prevent a post-operative man from being the receptive partner in lovemaking. An open mind, and the willingness to experiment will open up possibilities that you might never have considered before.

    Men who have had prostate cancer, can continue to have anal sex, but the charity, Prostate Cancer UK warns, “Some men who receive anal sex find that after having their prostate removed their experience of sex changes.

    “Bowel problems and sensitivity in the anus after radiotherapy can also be an issue. It’s best to wait until your symptoms have settled before trying anal play or sex. If you’ve had permanent seed brachytherapy there is a risk in the first few months that your partner might be exposed to some radiation during sex. Talk to your doctor or nurse about when it’s safe to have sex.”

    Acceptance

    “People in recovery from serious illness can be horrified to find themselves struggling with negative emotions such as resentment. They may feel that it’s not fair that they got sick when others, who perhaps have less healthy lifestyles, are just fine. While these are not noble emotions, they are understandable.

    Rather than ignoring them or pushing them below the surface, you need to accept that they are there, and find a way to manage them. There’s lots of help out there for people recovering from serious illness. People can and do recover from the trauma of illness all the time—and rebuild healthy sex lives in the process”.

  • Four ways to strengthen your bromances and friendships

    Get by with a little help…

    The Spice Girls were all over this with their friendship never ends shenanigans… but having friends in your life is key to a healthy life and can, according to AXA PPP Healthcare even protect you from the common cold.

    They told us,

    Most of us, when asked to think of all the benefits of having friends, will come up with things like companionship, good laughs, support, conversation, sharing meals together and so on. But there’s one big perk that is often overlooked and worth considering: friends will increase your chances of living a longer and healthier life.

    It starts with the heart. It’s probably no accident that it is often referred to as more than a muscle pumping blood and as a source of love, friendship and soul. Research shows that social isolation or a lack of friends puts you at higher risk of cardiovascular disease, and will cut your life expectancy.

    Friendship is a protective barrier against minor illnesses too, including the common cold.

    Four tactics to make your friendships strong.

    Make friendship a priority. With our hectic lives it’s all too easy for ‘friend time’ to be squeezed out and pushed down your priority list. Don’t let it happen. Schedule time for friends in your diary just as you would a dental appointment or a date. Make the time sacred and don’t cancel unless there is a true emergency. If your friends are many and the time slots in your diary few, think about bringing some friends together!

    Brush up on your listening skills. There’s no greater gift you can give a friend than your undivided attention, lots of eye contact, and the time and space for them to talk about what’s on their mind, knowing you are going to support and not judge them.

    Friendships, like any relationship, can become stale if you’re not paying attention. Inject fresh life into them by doing something different and surprising. Change the place and frequency of meeting. Arrive with a bunch of flowers if you don’t normally, and do things on the spur of the moment!

    Shy at parties? Worried about how you’re coming across? It may be time to place your ego to the side and exercise your ‘curiosity muscle’, simply by taking a genuine interest in others. All the research shows that it is the art of being genuinely curious and attentive that makes someone come off as a brilliant conversationalist, rather than having lots of clever things to say!

  • DILEMMA | Could my bisexual partner cheat on me?

    DILEMMA | Could my bisexual partner cheat on me?

    Doctor Dannii Cohen answers reader’s questions. This week Dannii answers a question on whether a bisexual partner is twice as likely to cheat on you and leave?

    Not because they are bisexual, no. This is a common misconception. In fact, when we asked our bisexual readers what myths really bugged them – this was one of the ones that kept cropping up.

    Being bisexual does not mean twice as likely to cheat. A bisexual person falls in love the same way as anyone does. The only thing that is “different” is that they can fall in love with both genders.

    If you feel your partner may be cheating on you, do not raid their computer, mobile or whatever.

    A lot or relationships suffered not because of cheating but because the partner who is being spied upon feels hurt by the other’s secret snooping. Oddly the best thing to do is ask.

    Dr Dannii says that communication is the key. If you think your partner is cheating, whether they are gay or bisexual, you should start with asking them outright.

    Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.

    This does not mean that the partner will automatically blurt out the truth the first time around: but knowing the conversation is open they will feel more ready to talk and admit to problems.

     

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  • There’s been a massive fall in new HIV infections amongst gay and bi men

    New figures from Public Health England show that new HIV infections amongst gay and bisexual men dramatically fell from 2015 to 2016.

    Official figures published yesterday by PHE show there has been a significant decline in new diagnoses of HIV in the UK in gay and bisexual men. The statistics highlight the importance of frequent and regular testing to ensure that HIV is both diagnosed and treated much sooner: improving patient outcomes and reducing the spread of HIV.

    The decrease in HIV diagnoses in gay and bisexual men represents the most exciting development in the UK HIV epidemic in 20 years when effective treatment became widely available.

    High levels of condom use and increased testing

    Commenting on the figures, Dr Valerie Delpech, Head of HIV surveillance at Public Health England, said:

    “This is very good news. It is the first time since the beginning of the HIV epidemic in the 1980s that we have observed a decline in new HIV diagnoses among gay and bisexual men and is clear evidence that HIV prevention efforts are working in the United Kingdom.

    “Our success in reducing transmission is due to high levels of condom use among gay men, and a sharp rise in the number of men testing for HIV each year, with those at greatest risk testing more frequently. Early diagnosis is also key to making sure that people benefit from HIV treatments so they can live long and healthy lives and are protected from passing on the virus to others.”

    With continued investment in testing and diagnosis, the decline in HIV infection which has taken place for gay and bisexual men in London can be replicated in other parts of the country and in all those at higher risk of HIV. HIV testing enables diagnosis and the opportunity for treatment which not only means people can live long, healthy lives but also provides reassurance that the virus cannot be passed on.

    It is easy to get tested for HIV.  Testing is freely available through GP surgeries, local hospitals and sexual health clinics as well as on self-sampling and self-testing (see NHS Choices for further information).

    As well as getting tested, using a condom with new or casual partners protects against HIV and other STIs.