THEGAYUK

Category: Wellness

  • DILEMMA | I’m bisexual, 18 and haven’t had sex yet, I’m worried about not losing my virginity

    DILEMMA | I’m bisexual, 18 and haven’t had sex yet, I’m worried about not losing my virginity

    This week a reader is concerned that he hasn’t yet lost his virgin. Doctor Dannii Cohen gives advice.

    Free-Photos / Pixabay

    Dear TGUK

    I have never had sex in my life and I think it is important to have sex all the time. What should I do? I’m 18 and worried that I’m not going to lose my virginity.

    Ian*, 18

     

    Dear Ian

    My message to you is short: it is NOT important to have sex all the time. If you don’t want it or don’t feel ready you don’t have to. Even if you do want it you should wait until you find the right person. Don’t think you should just throw yourself at someone because you feel you HAVE to have sex or because you think it’s “normal”.

    At your age not having had sex is certainly nothing weird or abnormal.

    You will never have a first time again and you should hold out until it feels right for you. Don’t force yourself for anyone, this is about you and your body.

     

    *name changed

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  • Ten stress busting life hacks

    Top 10 stress busting ideas to get you feeling on top of the world and ready to take on any situation.

    1) Breathing.

    via GIPHY

    It sounds silly as we do it automatically every few seconds of every day. I guess because if we didn’t then we wouldn’t have any stresses at all to worry about! Though I still often hear the phrase, “don’t forget to breathe” and why because when we panic we take short little breaths which can make us feel tight and agitated. So when you find yourself in a stressful situation do two things for me. One – Close your eyes. Two – Take in a deep breath to at least the count of six or seven, then control your out breath to a count of ten or eleven. Then repeat. IF YOU START TO FEEL DIZZY STOP! The closed eyes will allow you to focus on your breath and your breathing will help slow and calm the body allowing you to regroup to tackle any problems.

    2) Go for a walk.

    via GIPHY

    If you’re in the office then leave your desk and take a walk around the office, be it to the coffee machine or to the toilets. If you’re on a lunch break then try to leave the building. Fresh air and a different surrounding will really help to take away any work related stresses. Even if you have a deadline approaching a quick five mins walk can help save more time in the long run when you come back refreshed.

    3) Eating.

    via GIPHY

    What are you eating and when? Try not to skip meals like breakfast or lunch. Starving the body means it will fight for you attention and when you have a boss fighting for your attention also you don’t need the extra stress of a flagging body! When you do eat try to have something balanced. A good bowl of fruit and cereal for breakfast then a pasta lunch will do you wonders. Don’t replace meals with fizzy drinks or chocolate snacks as they’ll give you a five minute rush then you’ll feel more tired than you started.

    4) Ditch the phone.

    Having yourself available for contact 24hrs a day is not good for your health. You need ‘you time’. Switch off the phone for an hour in the evenings and treat yourself to spending some time with yourself or a loved one. When a phone is switched off you don’t have to worry about life outside of you. If it’s important they can leave a message. I also urge to ditch the phone whilst sleeping. Turn it off and leave in another room, or if it’s your alarm clock then put it as far away from you in the room. Give the brain some time to relax from the positive energies of the phone that still engulf a room when not in use.

    5) Drink.

    Most of us like a good drink now and then. If anything we all think we may drink a bit too much. I know I do, yet I try to convince myself it’s to help me unwind, to help me relax. True, in moderation! If you’re drinking a bottle of wine a night then it’s likely you won’t be getting a good nights sleep and feel groggy in the morning. Tonight why not ditch the bottle and have a peppermint tea instead? It has no caffeine so won’t keep you awake!

    6) Sex.

    Yes, it can be a great relaxant. A good steamy session or even some quality alone time can help muscles to relax and relieve some tension from the body. However please be careful as sex can also cause a lot of stress to your life if you’re having it unprotected and with people you don’t know. A trip to the GUM clinic is not going to help you achieve a more relaxed you!

    7) Chocolate.

    via GIPHY

    Yes I know I said chocolate and fizzy drinks are bad, but only if they are replacements for your main meals. A little nibble of chocolate (though for me if it’s open, it’s gone!) can give you a little life buzz. It’s these little buzzes that help us to enjoy life.

    8) Smiling.

    via GIPHY

    It’s true! If you smile you instantly feel better. Go on try it now and prove me wrong. Think of anything that makes you smile. For me there’s a whole bank of ‘smile moments’ in my life, mostly at the expense of family members, sometimes at myself, such as the time I walked into a glass door whilst trying to enter a bar in NY. I may have had a bit to drink and missed the sign that said push but nose first I left an imprint like an owl does when it’s hit a window at night. My eyes were certainly as wide!

    9) Massage.

    via GIPHY

    Having someone else rub oils all over your body and rub all the built up tension dirt from inside your muscles away is fantastic. I love it. Then again I just like being touched and It can sometimes be a great lead up to tension busting tip number 6. However not everyone is as free with their bodies, so if you hate the idea of someone else’s sweaty palms prodding you all over then try this. Take a tennis ball and place it on the back of a chair and roll your back over it. This also works for rolling your feet over it to relieve any foot stresses.

    10) Hot Bath & Candles.

    via GIPHY

    Sounds like a cliché but really can do the trick. I love a hot bath filled with fiery spices, light a couple of tee lights and turn the lights off. No phone nearby, no glass of wine, no partner wanting to get frisky, just you, the bath, and your deep thoughts. Breath in for six and out for ten, let your mind be free to wander. Breathing. In and out. Stresses of work, relationships, family will try to take over your clearing head as you breath in and out. In and out. The best advice I was ever given was when a thought enters you head don’t worry about it appearing, just let it drift away as it drifted in. Breath in and out. Let you thoughts evaporate into the steam of the bath. In and out. You have no worries. You have no stresses. You are enjoying the simplicity of life. Enjoy…

  • ADVICE | I’ve got lopsided balls, is this normal?

    Have you ever wondered if one ball hanging lower than the other way normal? Or why one is bigger than the other? Medical Director from Pharmacy2U, Dr Nitin Shori, answers your questions.

     

    Dear TGUK
    I’ve got one ball hanging lower than the other – I’ve not noticed whether other guys are the same because our school has separate shower cubicles – so I don’t know – and I’m still a virgin.  Is there something wrong with me? Should one ball hang lower than the other, I’m quite worried about it.

    John, 15, Glasgow

     

    Dear John,

    It’s quite common for one testicle to be bigger than the other and also for one testicle to hang lower than the other one.

    You’re 15 as well and males go through puberty between 12 and 16, reaching full physical maturity at around 18, so it may also be that you’re still developing.

    In any case, it’s normal to feel a bit anxious and unsure of what is and isn’t ‘normal’ while you’re growing and your body is changing.

    Testicles should feel smooth, without any lumps or bumps, and firm but not hard. You may feel a soft tube at the back of each testicle, which is called the epididymis.

    What we advise men to look out for is changes in their testicles such as swellings, lumps or bumps that weren’t there before as this can be a sign of testicular cancer and this is why doctors advise you to check your testicles regularly.

    If you’re still concerned and want to talk to someone confidentially, then your GP is a good starting point.

    We’ve teamed up with the UK’s leading online pharmacy, Pharmacy2U, to answer all your health and sexual questions.

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to ask your question.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

  • ADVICE | I had sex a couple of years ago and now I keep on getting ill. Do I have HIV?

    A reader tells the doctor that he’s been feeling unwell 3 years after having a sexual encounter with two guys. Doctor Nitin Shori Medical Director of Pharmacy2U.co.uk answers his concerns.

    I always feel ill do I have HIV

    Dear Doctor

    I had sex with 2 guys about 3.5 years ago. Different times just once each both times with latex condom. I have looked up HIV symptoms and I am freaking out. At some point (I can’t remember how close to these events) I had a bad case of tonsillitis with tiredness and fever and I also suffer from seborrheic dermatitis, which is at least 3 years old (although a shampoo called Nizoral controls it).

    How likely is it that I got HIV from these encounters? I have taken a test recently but the wait is damaging my mental health. I can’t eat or sleep and I see symptoms in everything, especially as I get more tired. I even felt I had aids related dementia as my alertness deteriorated.

    Alex, Plymouth

     

    Dear Alex

    HIV is mainly transmitted through unprotected sex (without a condom) and the sharing of contaminated injecting equipment (eg. needles to inject drugs with).

    As you used protection, there is a low risk that you could have contracted HIV from the sex you had. However, you have done the correct thing and got yourself tested. If you have unprotected sex or think you could have been exposed to HIV through penetrative or oral sex, or drug use, it is always worth getting checked out.

    Although there is no cure for HIV, new treatments mean those with the disease can live long, normal and healthy lives.

    If you are anxious about the wait for your results, speak to your GP, who will be able to offer support and advice

    To help prevent HIV, always use a condom when having sex and never share needles or other injecting equipment (spoons, swabs or syringes).

    Stress can cause you to forget things or become tired quickly, so your symptoms could be a reaction to your wait for your results. If your tiredness and forgetfulness continues, speak to your GP who will be able to arrange some simple tests for conditions such as anaemia or a vitamin deficiency.

    Pharmacy2U Online Doctor

     

  • ADVICE | I have genital warts… Can I get rid of them with a cream?

    This week a reader asks how he might get rid of genital warts, Dr Nitin Shori answers the question.

    I have genital warts... Can I get rid of them with a cream?

    Dear Doctor

    I have genital warts and don’t want to get them frozen off again. Can I get a cream buy one or get one without the doctor having to look?

    Liam

    Hello Liam

    Genital warts are very common in England – second only among sexually transmitted infections (STIs) after chlamydia.

    They often appear as small fleshy growths or lumps in the genital or anal areas and are caused by a viral skin infection related to the human papillomavirus (HPV).

    While they can look unsightly and can sometimes bleed, they don’t usually cause any real threat to your health.

    However, they are a reminder of the need to take adequate precautions against STIs, many of which have very serious health consequences.

    As well as being passed on during sexual intercourse, genital warts can also be spread via skin-to-skin contact.

    It’s important to understand that a condom won’t always protect you and that it is possible for HPV to be transferred from apparently healthy skin.

    As you know, genital warts can be frozen off the skin using a technique called cryotherapy. Medical professionals can also use laser treatments, surgery or trichloroacetic acid (TCA) to remove genital warts.

    You’d prefer not to have to see a doctor to have your genital warts removed and you’ll be pleased to learn that prescription liquids and creams could be available for you to use at home if you have been previously diagnosed with genital warts by a doctor.

    Following an online consultation, the Pharmacy2U Online Doctor Service could prescribe you with one of a number of creams and liquids used to remove genital warts.

    Some work by stimulating the body’s immune system against HPV, while others have a directly toxic effect on the wart itself.

    Whatever you choose to do, it’s important to get yourself checked for other STIs if you think there’s a risk that you might have been infected.

  • ADVICE | Can I get HIV from oral sex?

    ADVICE | Can I get HIV from oral sex?

    A reader asks our sexual health experts on how easy it is to get HIV from unprotected oral sex.

    can you get HIV from oral sex
    BIGSTOCK

    Dear TGUK
    Me and a former boyfriend had partial sex several months ago. We performed hand jobs on one another and he gave me a blowjob. The blowjob wasn’t long (only four sucks) and I didn’t cum. However, as a hypochondriac, I’m concerned about HIV. Prior to sex, I asked him if he had sex before. He had sex only once in the past and it was only mutual masturbation and fellatio. My parents won’t let me take a test because it would worsen my health anxiety. But should I be worried?

    Joe 16,

    Hello Joe

    Thank you for writing to us with your worries, it sounds as though you had a very low-risk encounter with your ex. Oral sex is considered a low-risk activity for catching HIV, especially if you’re on the receiving end of the BJ. However, it’s not just HIV that you have to consider here. Other nasties like Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be passed on by both receiver and giver, and might not even show symptoms, however, all these infections can be treated effectively if caught soon enough.

    If you are worried you should make an appointment to go to a clinic, or just pop along to a walk-in clinic. There are some amazing services – and now, there’s even an online clinic called S24, where you can take tests at home and have the results sent to your mobile phone, Google it.

    If your parents are standing in your way of getting a health check maybe you need to have a conversation with them about your worries, however at 16 you can go to a clinic by yourself you have the right to be treated confidentially.

    Hand-jobs and mutual masturbation are very safe activities, as long as you keep bodily fluids such as semen away from open cuts or sores. If you’re worried in future you can use condoms during oral, and there are even flavoured ones to try.

    Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life, taking responsibility for your health and for others you’re having sex with. Making regular visits every six months to once a year is suggested if you’re sexually active.

    So don’t delay and more importantly try not to worry yourself too much.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one (AMAZON)

    ** Advice given here is for guidance only. You should always seek to obtain your own medical advice from your own GP or doctor **

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Use the form below to get in touch

  • Syphilis is on the rise – up 97 percent from 2012

    Gay and bisexual men are being warned to take extra precautions as official figures show that syphilis infections are on the increase.

    Data released by NHS England has shown that new syphilis infections have increased dramatically over the last five years. Stats show that in the last year alone there has been a 12 percent rise, but there has been an overall increase of 97 percent from 2012.

    NHS England noted that most cases were associated with gay and bisexual men. In 2015 there were 5281 new cases reported, this rose to 5920 in 2016.

    What is syphilis?

    Syphilis is a bacterial infection and is usually spread through having sex with someone who is infected (including sharing sex toys.) Treatment usually involves antibiotics but the infection can cause serious health problems if left untreated long-term.

    Speaking about the new data, Dr Patrick French, CNWL Consultant in Sexual Health and HIV, said,

    “There is some room for optimism in today’s release of the 2016 Sexually Transmitted Infection and HIV figures from Public Health England. The dramatic reduction in the number of new HIV infections among gay men shows that HIV testing, HIV treatment and Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis are paying dividends and the reduction in genital warts in heterosexual women and men indicate that HPV vaccination for girls in the UK is working well.

    “On the other hand a further rise in syphilis rates is deeply disappointing. An infection which had been eradicated in the UK in the 1980s and 1990s has now returned and is at its highest levels since 1949. Syphilis increases the risk of transmitting HIV, can cause life-threatening heart and brain conditions and serious problems in pregnancy. This increase in syphilis shows that there is still a lot to be done and sexual health promotion and easy access to high quality testing and treatment services for people at risk of STIs remain a public health priority.

    “People with STIs and HIV often have no symptoms so it’s important to have a check-up if you think you may be at risk. Having the tests is very straightforward and you can make find out about where our clinics are and how to make an appointment at www.sexualhewalth.cnwl.nhs.uk. “

  • Five ways to protect your ears this pride season

    Damaged hearing is a real issue with one in ten of us suffering from tinnitus so make sure you protect your ears this pride season.

    National charity Action on Hearing Loss is urging Pride-goers this summer to consider their hearing before attending large events. Six million people in the UK – that’s one in ten – are affected by tinnitus

    Gemma Twitchen, senior audiologist at Action on Hearing loss explained,

    “We don’t want people to stop going to music events – that’s not what this is about. However, people may not be aware that there is a risk of damaging your hearing if you expose yourself to too much loud noise. The good news is that if you aware of the risks and take the simple steps to protect yourself, you can still enjoy the music.

    “You can help ensure both you and your hearing survives the Pride season by investing in ear plugs. There is a misconception that if you wear them you can’t hear or enjoy the music, but this is simply not true. Ear plugs will block out the dangerous sound frequencies, still allowing you to listen to the music and enjoy it”.

    So make sure you follow these find tips to make sure you don’t become a sufferer.

    1. Don’t stand too near the speakers for a prolonged amount of time

    2. Take breaks away from loud music

    3. Make sure you keep your body hydrated to increase blood circulation and keep your body and ears healthy

    4. Wear ear plugs

    5. Make sure your children are wearing ear defenders

     

    If the ringing in your ears does not go away after a 24-hour period, the charity recommends people visit their local GP.

  • Here’s what a stinging sensation when you go to the toilet could mean

    If you’ve ever experienced a stinging sensation down below whenever you’ve urinated, you’ll know it really isn’t a great feeling and it can be a worry too. So what could it be?

    stinging sensation when you go to the toilet meaning

     

    It could be a sexually transmitted infection, after all, there was so many of them floating about. Medical Director at Pharmacy 2U Dr Nitin Shori told us, “statistics from NHS England show that there were more than 435,000 STI diagnoses in 2015, we may have forgotten the safe sex message”.

    However, it isn’t all bad news, Nitin continues, “There are different types of STIs and some, if caught early, are easy to treat with antibiotics. Chlamydia is the most common STI in England and can be treated with antibiotics.

    What are the infections that cause stinging whilst peeing?

    So according to webmd.com stinging whilst you urinate could be caused by: genital herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhoea. But stinging could also be a symptom of other problems such as kidney stones, diabetes, having an enlarged prostate, or a Urinary Tract Infection UTI – which is caused by bacteria in the urinary tract.

    Cystitis can also cause pain during urination although women are more likely to be affected by this than men. It’s caused by inflammation of the bladder caused by a bladder infection. Those infections are caused by certain bacteria – like those found in your poo.

    What should I do if it burns when I pee?

    The best thing to do is make an appointment where you can be tested for STIs. This can be done at a sexual health clinic, genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic or GP surgery. Some people prefer the privacy of buying a

    Some people prefer the privacy of buying a reliable testing kit online from a reputable supplier, such as Pharmacy2U.co.uk.

  • These tips will help you sleep through the heatwave

    These tips will help you sleep through the heatwave

    Officially the UK is in meltdown – and let’s face it we’re not coping very well.

    Bru-nO / Pixabay

    They’ll talk about it always, the summer of 2017 – well that is until the next freak weatherwave happens… Anyone looking forward to this winter’s Snowmageddon?

    Are you having trouble sleeping during the heatwave? Well, Max Wiseberg of HayMax has come up with these five tips to help you drift off to a restful sleep regardless of the heat outside and the pollen count.

    Max comments, “Staying cool is the key to a good night’s sleep and if you’re a hay fever sufferer like me, avoiding the pollen too.

     

    And freeze

    Try putting your pillowcase in the fridge so that it’s cool! Some people swear by chilling all of their sheets, but that sounds extreme…

    Get wet

    Shower before bed. A cool shower will help to cool you down from a day in the sun. And it will help to remove pollen from your hair and body.

    Jug it

    Keep a jug of cool water next to the bed.

    Breezy does it

    Opening a window at the front and back of the house can provide a cooling breeze. Be sure not to do this until late evening though, because early evening brings high pollen counts as the atmosphere begins to cool and pollen settles back down to the ground.

    The nose have it…

    Apply an organic, drug-free allergen barrier balm, such as HayMax, to the nostrils and around the bones of the eyes before you go to bed, to block pollen before it enters the body. HayMax has been proven to trap over one-third of pollen grains before they enter the body.”

     

  • 10 signs of depression you should look out for

    Depression and mental health have been hot topic subjects of late and sometimes spotting the signs can be difficult.

    We spoke to psychotherapist Andrew Smith clinical director of TherAppUK Ltd who gave us 10 pointers to look out for.

    1. Social Withdrawal.

    This is when someone may become more withdrawn from social activities, and not be as interested in going out and socialising. However, more importantly, they may not be doing anything else as an alternative. Give them an invite to something and mean it. As a therapist, we often use the boundary of a session to gently challenge clients who would wish to withdraw.

    2. Being Less communicative.

    Has the talking stopped? Keep the conversation going. It can really help if the person opposite really feels like you care about what they are saying.

    Most people who are struggling with difficult feelings and experiences often lose an ability to engage in dialogue with their loved ones. This happens over time and is a gradual response to depressive feelings. Keep talking, even if it feels like drivel, and really listen to what people are saying. It is very difficult to push away someone who is genuinely interested in you.

    3. Isolation.

    This is the effect, not always the cause. Pop around to see them, offer to help out, and persevere. Often, the message that someone is not going away, no matter how hard they are going to be pushed, is so important. Therapy is a further way of helping this, in a far less pressured way.

    4. Health.

    As we descend into the spiral of depression and anxiety, we often lose sight of how taking care of ourselves (better things to worry about), and gradually this can lead to poorer choices in food, sexual health, financial matters, and exercise. Ironically, good choices in all of these can help immensely in our recovery. So ‘encourage’ someone to take up a new activity with you (yoga can be amazing), try a meditation class, and cook some healthy food together.

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