This week our medical expert answers a sexual health question on lesbian, bisexual women and people who have vaginas.
Dr Nitin Shori is Medical Director of Pharmacy2U.co.uk, which provides NHS repeat prescription and Online Doctor services, answers,
Dear Doctor,
I’m planning to have sex with someone else who has a vagina (like me) and I want to know more about how to stay safe.
Thank you
M
Dear M
Women can catch sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) through sex or any ‘one-on-one’ contact, such as oral sex or foreplay.
To make oral sex safer, use a dental dam – a small square of very thin plastic or latex, which can be used to cover the genitals or anus. It acts as a barrier and helps to prevent STIs being passed from person to person.
You should avoid receiving oral sex if you are on your period, as menstrual blood can carry HIV or hepatitis. You should also avoid oral sex if your partner has told you they have an STI, if they have a sore throat or if they have any blisters, cuts, rashes, sores or warts around the genitals, anus or mouth, or if they have unhealed piercings in their genitals or mouth.
Some infections can be passed by touching or vulval rubbing. Wash your hands before and after sex, and use latex gloves with plenty of water-based lubricants.
If you are using sex toys, use a condom to cover them. Change the condom for each partner or between penetration of different body openings. Sex toys should also be washed with soap and water between sessions.
If you have had unprotected sex, have any symptoms of STIs or think you may be at risk of catching one, speak to your GP or sexual health clinic. Regular STI tests are a good idea, to ensure you have a healthy sex life.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
A problem shared is a problem halved, so they say…
We’ve a team of wonderful experts who can help you sort out some issues, whether they be sexual, emotional or just general life. So go on, ask away. There’s no judgement, you don’t have to give us your name and it can be completely anonymous.
You will be taken seriously and we will listen.
Maybe… your boyfriend has given you an ultimatum?
What about that weird discharge you’ve been getting?
Have you been feeling unlucky in love?
Is there something you’re afraid of about sex?
Use the form below to get some answers and keep an eye out for our articles.
Your daily cup of Joe could keep you up in more ways than one. A 2015 study from the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston suggests that caffeine could reduce your likelihood of having erectile dysfunction (ED)
Researchers found that guys over the age of 20 who consumed the caffeine equivalent of 2 to 3 cups of coffee a day were less likely to report ED issues than men who steered clear of the stimulant.
The connection was strongest in overweight guys, says study author David Lopez, Dr.P.H., M.P.H., but he plans to dive further into how the caffeine/ED link can affect different weight groups.
Co-author Dr Run Wang added,
“Caffeine has properties similar to ED drugs like Viagra. The stimulant triggers a series of effects that cause the arteries in your penis to relax and your blood flow to increase—both keys to a strong erection”.
After a nonconsensual sexual act, a reader is concerned that he might have an STI.
Doctor Nitin Shori, Medical Director of Pharmacy2U.co.uk, answers.
Dear Doctor,
A man recently put their mouth on my penis for a few seconds before I told them to get off. It was not exactly consensual. I have a boyfriend and I am very worried the guy could have passed on an STI to me. Are the chances of doing so very low seeing as it was only a second or two and it was receptive? Thanks
Thanks
First of all, it’s never OK for someone to engage in any sexual practice with you that you do not give your consent to. Forcing someone to engage in sexual activity without their consent is a crime – it’s sexual assault/rape.
If you have been a victim of a sexual attack and want to report it, call your local police or 999 if an emergency. You can also get support from organisations such as Victim Support or The Survivors Trust.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be passed on through oral sex. The STIs that are most commonly passed on through oral sex are gonorrhoea, genital herpes and syphilis. However, all STIs can be passed this way. Receiving oral sex is often safer than giving oral sex, as you are less likely to be exposed to genital fluids.
Many people do not get any signs or symptoms that they have been infected through oral sex, so if you are worried, it is always worth getting tested by your GP or local sexual health clinic. To protect yourself against infections during oral sex, use a condom or dental dam – a small square of very thin plastic or latex, which can be used to cover the genitals or anus.
Avoid oral sex if your partner has an STI, has blisters, cuts, rashes, sores or warts around the genitals, anus or mouth, has a throat infection or has any unhealed piercings in their mouth or genitals. Regular STI checks are a good idea, to ensure you have a healthy sex life.
We have a lot of data about the size of men’s penises, thanks mainly to Grindr (that is research isn’t it?) however penis size from 60 years ago is near impossible to obtain, so finding out whether our penises are getting smaller as we age, is difficult to compare to previous generations of men.
However, it is suggested that perhaps because we are living longer up to 30 years longer, (one in three of us now lives past the age of 100), and are weighing a lot more than we used to, so we are carrying around the excesses of our lives for 30 years more. Meaning that as we get older, unless we retain good health and a flat tummy, our dicks could be shrouded in fat…
“A big belly makes your penis look smaller, and if you can’t see it at all when you look down you need to get a grip quickly. You’re at high risk of type two diabetes and arterial disease, which can also affect the frequency and firmness of your erections.
“The bottom line is that a good erection is a sign of good physical and mental health, but for most women, your smile and smell are far more important than actual size.”
NHS Scotland will become the first health service in the UK to prescribe PrEP after the Scottish Medicines Consortium (SMC) announced that PrEP, the HIV prevention drug, has been deemed a cost-effective treatment to prevent the transmission of HIV. This means that gay and bisexual men will be able to access the drugs, for free, on the Scottish NHS.
Ian Howley, CEO of GMFA – the gay men’s health charity said,
“GMFA welcomes the news that PrEP will become available to those who are most at risk on the NHS in Scotland. Over the past year we have seen statistics that proves PrEP works and is helping in the fight against HIV. In some cases, GUM clinics have seen a 40% drop in new HIV infections. PrEP is the tool that we have been waiting for and I am delighted that gay and bisexual men in Scotland can now access PrEP free on the NHS.”
Meanwhile, NHS England has decided on running a three-year trial following legal battles in 2016. GMFA today called upon NHS England is drop its trial and follow in the footsteps of its Scottish sister service.
Ian continues;
“This decision now calls into question as to why NHS England can not make PrEP available to all that need it and still insist on a three-year trial. We are now calling on NHS England to follow the footsteps of Scotland and provide PrEP to those who are at a higher risk.
“Every gay and bisexual man living in the entire UK deserves the right to access PrEP for free on the NHS. It’s time this became a reality. Too many gay and bisexual men are becoming HIV-positive and we now have a tool that can prevent new infections.”
“We congratulate the PrEP4Scotland Coalition, HIV Scotland, Terrence Higgins Trust Scotland, Waverley Care, and National AIDS Trust, on their hard work in getting PrEP available to all those who need it in Scotland.”
Far too often natural remedies burst onto the scene having been touted by celebrities as the next wonder supplement only to fade away again with little evidence of their efficiency.
Green tea has been an exception to this rule, however, with celebrities and nutritionists alike singing its praises and study after study highlighting its ability to aid weight loss. Off the back of green tea’s success, numerous ‘diet teas’ have emerged onto the market, but few have made an impact.
Natur Boutique’s new diet tea blend, however, has been put together by a team of expert blenders and nutritional experts to encapsulate both scientific evidence and taste and looks set to change the way we view ‘diet’ teas as it launches in Holland and Barrett stores nationwide this month.
The makers of the blend have chosen four teas that are known to help complement dieting, each thought to aid weight loss in a different way.
Green tea is the best known of the teas for its weight loss properties, with studies showing that it may work through a number of different mechanisms, ranging from decreasing hunger1 to increasing metabolism.
Pineapple tea is most commonly drunk for its taste, but the fruit is also packed with a natural substance called bromelain. Bromelain has been shown in studies to exhibit an apparent ability to slow down the growth and multiplication of fat cells.
Java tea isn’t normally associated with weight loss, but recent research is showing it appears to be able to help reduce body weight, appetite and fat levels; with researchers suggesting this is due to the plant enhancing the effects of leptin (a hormone associated with controlling appetite)in our bodies.
Finally, hibiscus tea is added for yet another potential weight loss mechanism and it is thought to help block the uptake of carbohydrate by the body.
The nutritionists haven’t had it all their own way though and the teas aren’t included in the blend purely for their physiological benefits. Like all the drinks in their unique range, Natur Boutique’s Diet Tea is registered organic. The company use only organic ingredients to produce their teas, not only because they believe it produces a fresh and more intense taste, but also because they care about the world around them and believe in the ethics of organic agriculture. The blend of organic teas creates a drink that is unique and refreshing and has a taste and aroma that will appeal to everyone, whether dieting or not.
Natur Boutique’s Organic Diet Tea is available in Holland and Barrett stores nationwide and costs just £3.49 for a box of twenty individually wrapped teabags.
Please note: pregnant or breastfeeding women should consult a doctor before use
Research by BRITA has revealed that we all feel an energy slump around 4pm, so we often reach for a sugary snack to keep us going until dinner. To encourage us to have healthier habits, BRITA has launched Pour O’Clock, suggesting that we pick up a glass of water mid-afternoon instead of snacking on something unhealthy.
Nutritionist Jo Travers shares her tips for making sure you don’t feel tempted to dip into the biscuit tin at 4 PM.
1. Eat three meals a day
Eating regularly will sure you get the necessary nutrients to keep your bodies running smoothly. It’ll also keep blood glucose levels even, so you don’t feel that slump in energy.
2. Don’t skip breakfast
Make sure you get a good breakfast, no matter how busy you are. This will make sure that your body isn’t craving nutrients throughout the day, making that afternoon snack attack less likely to occur.
3. Go for a stroll
Keeping active is great for muscle tone and heart health and will also help keep your weight in check. Go for a stroll to take your mind off unhealthy foods and you’ll also improve your circulation, making you feel healthier all round.
4. Get your five a day
Fibre, fluid and movement are all essential for a healthy digestive system. Vitamins and minerals from fruit and veg are needed for every process in the body so not getting at least five portions a day could be compromising your health.
7. Team up with a friend
Avoiding the biscuit tin can be hard if everyone else is tempting you towards it. Team up with a friend to support each other in staying healthy and happy.
5. Drink a glass of water
Hydration is important as it has an impact on our productivity and concentration. Getting thirsty is actually one of the very last physical effects dehydration has on the body so the damage may have already begun. Learning to identify the other signs of dehydration, like dry eyes or lack of concentration, will help avoid it.
6. Treat yourself
Give yourself a non-food related treat by doing something you enjoy for five minutes at 4pm. We often snack because we are bored, so listen to a song you like or read a few pages of a book to divert your attention from something sugary.
A reader is finding that their co-workers are misgendering them. The only problem is the reader hasn’t yet spoken up about it yet.
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I’m really upset. I’m finding it difficult to face work at the moment. My co-workers keep misgendering me and it’s really upping my anxiety. I would prefer people to refer to me as they, them or their. The only problem is I haven’t found the courage to tell them that’s what I want. I don’t think they’d understand if I tried to explain it. I really can’t face going to work anymore because of it.
Jay, Coventry
Dear Jay,
It’s understandable that you’re upset about your co-workers misgendering you, and of course, that is bound to cause anxiety levels to rise. On the other hand, unless your co-workers are told that you wish to be referred to as they, them or their, they’re not going to know that they are misgendering or upsetting you. Have you spoken to your manager at work?
If your manager is aware of the situation and how you are feeling, they may be able to explain to your colleagues on your behalf that you wish to be referred to as they, them or their. Your manager may also be able to assist you with explaining it to your colleagues yourself if you felt strong enough to do that with support. Either way, try speaking to your manager, or even a trusted colleague, to see what help is available.
A good manager will support you. If you feel unable to speak to anyone at your work, I’d advise contacting your local LGBT+ organisation, if there is one in your area, and finding out what support they’re able to offer. It’s important that you do not continue to suffer in silence if it’s having such a detrimental impact on you.
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Miles Hirson, writing on the forum said that they should wait until they are no longer financially dependent on them. This echoes the thoughts and advice of sex expert, Dan Savage, who often advises LGBT people on his weekly podcast to wait until they are able to afford their own rent, finish their education and fend for themselves without having to rely on their anti-gay parents.
Miles said,
“Don’t listen to what the liberal media tells you, use your head. Do you really need to tell your parents that you’re gay more than you need to finish school with a place to live and food to eat?
“The people on TV telling you to come out aren’t gonna be at your front door to take care of you when your family kicks you out. be rational and get real,”
It’s worth noting that in the UK, one-quarter of homeless people, on the street, are part of the LGBT+ community who have been chucked out by homophobic parents.
The mind may be willing but the equipment is taking some vacay,
At some point, most guys will suffer from erection problems (it even has a term erectile disfunction) and guys search the web high and low for advice on how to fix it but sometimes the penis just doesn’t want to play ball.
Well, there could be some lifestyle factors that are stopping you from getting a hard-on. Getting hard is all about blood flow, so if your erection problem is a physiological issue it could be something to do with your blood pressure. Time to see the doctor! However, there are loads of psychological issues that could affect your libido too. Read on to find out what things are a real erection killer.
You could be getting drinkers droop. Although alcohol can seemingly put you in the mood for some loving. Excessive drinking will affect your ability to get an erection and could stop you from finishing up too. So if you want a bigger boner then you’re going to have put down that pint.
Medication
Some prescribed meds like anti-depressants are known to cause impotence. Blood pressure pills and some allergy medications have also been linked to erectile problems. ED. If you suspect that you’ve been prescribed meds that are affecting your boner then get back in touch with your doc. Ask to try some different drugs. Illicit drugs will also affect your ability to have sex.
Tired
Sometimes you’re just too dog tired to perform. Get some ZZZs and try again in the morning when you’re more refreshed. However, there are a number of sleep disorders that could be affecting the quality of the sleep you’re getting. Issues such as sleep apnea or insomnia are problems that will drastically affect the quality of your rest. See your GP if you’re concerned. If you don’t have a GP, use the NHS website to find one.
Work Stress
Getting turned on whether you’ve got a hundred things on your mind is a near impossibility. Your inability to get hard might be because of your work stress, financial woes or even family issues. Working out, yoga, mindfulness and breathing exercises are brilliant ways to reduce your stress load. When your mental problems are being dealt with, so you are your erection problems. It’s all linked.
Yep, an expanding waistline is really unhelpful to your manhood. Obese guys have lower levels of testosterone which plays havoc with your sexual prowess. Being overweight is also linked to blood pressure issues and arteries hardening, which can lead to a reduction in the blood flow to your penis. Also, have you heard of the FUPA (Fat Upper Pubic Area)? Wondering if your penis is getting smaller with age… this might be the reason.
Make sure you keep within your healthy BMI for a body that’s in perfect working order.
Smoking
We all know it’s bad for you… it’s also bad for your penis and can cause havoc giving you erection problems. It damages the blood vessels which inhibits the blood flow. Worryingly smoking can also shrink your dick too. So quit today.
Getting enough Vitamin D?
If you’re not getting enough sunshine your body won’t be creating Vitamin D which can cause your testosterone levels to plummet and testosterone is very important in maintaining a healthy boner and ridding your life of erection problems. Without a healthy level of testosterone, you’re effectively killing off your love mood. Getting just 15 minutes of sunlight on your skin is all you need to keep your Vit D levels up.
Are your teeth clean?
Men were three times more likely to have ED if they had gum disease a Turkish study found. The British Dental Health Foundation found that 4 out of five guys who had “severe ED” also had gum disease. This is caused by the bacteria from your diseased gums seeping into your bloodstream which damages your blood vessels.
Stop your mid-day fumbles?
Are you getting off during the day? Maybe you need to get a check on that and save yourself for the big event later on. When we’re younger climaxing more than once a day (or five) was achievable, as you get older you might finder it harder to keep it… So save yourself.
Don’t do it last thing at night…
One of the biggest causes of erection problems is timing. Why wait until you’re about as tired as you’re going to get? F**K first – then dinner, then TV then bed. Get the good stuff while you still have the energy!
