I’ve never been a massive fan of dates let alone online dating.

I normally prefer to meet guys at the end of the night in a club, when I’m a walking disaster, hair all over the place and if I try and eat the face off them like it’s my first meal since fasting for lent and they respond, at least I know they have seen me at my worst and it can only get better! None the less I still have Grindr and log on everyday although more through boredom than a longing for love.

When discussing me getting back in the dating game a wise friend gave me some wise words – “be brave”, easy for him to say his last date was with a Terry’s chocolate orange and The Million Pound Drop. A few weeks ago I decided to follow his advice and go on a date with a guy who asked me from Grindr!

We arranged to meet in Glasgow on the Sunday afternoon for coffee and naturally the night before I decided to prepare with two good pals and 6 bottles of wine. After spending most of Sunday morning hugging the toilet pan, I decided to re-arrange to meet in Wishaw’s prime dating venue for homosexuals, Wetherspoons, at 9pm.

When I arrived 15 mins late him waiting outside looking less than amused he looked exactly like the pictures he had sent and had quite large hands. Great. We go inside he orders a soft drink and I order cider. The conversation is awkward, he tells me the first Canadian he ever met gave him maple syrup and it sticks in his mind, I try and inject some humour and reply “oh the first Canadian I ever met gave me herpes”. Silence, pan face, I smile, more silence until I declare I was joking. He nods his head. I decided since I was off the next day, I was going to make the most of the situation and order another drink. He watches BBC news on the TV as I play on Facebook. He did give me a lift home at the end of the night which saved me £4.25 on a taxi. Every cloud has a silver lining.

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Needless to say we won’t be seeing each other again and to be honest I should have known it wouldn’t work when he told me he had never seen Dirty Dancing. At least I’m back on the wagon and in the dating game again. Next time I will however have a check list — Sense of humour a must;big hands a bonus.

I am forever hopeful.

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Be Brave!

About the author: Kevin Banks
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