Lube is fundamental to having a good, satisfying time if you're having anal sex. And not all lubes are created equal.

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We shouldn’t be settling for those little sachets you get for free at your nearest gay bar.

Let me make it clear, I’m not knocking the free lube. I love a freebie and those packets with the condoms have probably saved countless guys from contracting one infection or another. But… while those little sachets are good for emergencies or a last-minute shag, they shouldn’t be your main go-to when it comes to your lube options.

First off they are all water-based, this is because it is the cheapest to create and all water-based lubes are condom safe. However away from water-based, there’s a treasure trove of options, from silicone to hybrid to oil-based and they all feel and act differently different from each other and you may find that one feels better on your sensitive parts than the others.

When it hurts and you have to stop, it might actually be your lube causing the issue

I recently found this out myself. I usually went with one very well known brand, but I noticed that it stung almost every time I had sex, to the point where I’d want to halt proceedings entirely after a few minutes. Annoying for my partner, annoying for me… Preparation is time-consuming and you want all that effort to be worth it, am I right?

So I moved to a lesser-known brand, which was still waterbased and that stinging wasn’t so bad… Which made me think that not all lubes are created equal.

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I decided to treat my booty and bought a bottle of silicone-based lube and the difference was astounding, something I found out in one particularly long session (with a couple of guys, I know I’m a minx, what can I say). The whole session felt great if I’m honest and because silicone-based lube is generally longer-lasting you actually don’t need too much.

Plus it tends to feel less tacky on your hands.

two men kissing
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on

Good lube is an investment

Of course, silicone isn’t going to be for everyone, but I really found that it worked for me. Lubes are a bit of trial and error. You need to take some time to find what works for you. The trouble is lube isn’t cheap. So I spoke to this with our partner shop THEGAYSHOP about putting together a trial bag that contains a number of different lubes, in smaller sizes, so you can try before investing in a larger bottle.

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There’s the mixed bag, which contains, water-based, silicone and hybrid lubes and there’s the silicone only the water-based only and the hybrid only bags.

We all deserve to have good sex and for us to feel comfortable as much as possible during it too and lube might just be the answer to enjoying sex without discomfort.

About the author: Agony Uncle
The resident Agony Uncle for with over seven years of counselling experience with the LGBT+ community.