Have you ever heard of anal botox?
It’s a thing and for the brave who undertake this procedure can expect results which make their buttholes look years younger than they actually are, by helping the muscles relax, but come on, who really who wants loosening up down there?
So what does Anal Botox do?
Just like facial Botox, muscles are frozen and relaxed – and effectively stop working – or have their function greatly reduced for a period of time, usually six months.
Some guys, who have had it, say that their holes look 20 years younger – but aren’t a-holes meant to look like a pair of pursed lips of a 40-a-day-Coronation-Street-extra?
But wait, there is a medical reason for injecting botulinum into your arsehole.
It can also be used to treat an anal fissure. Anal fissures are caused by trauma or injury to the anal canal. The fissure can cause bleeds, especially when you poop. It’s very uncomfortable. Fissures can usually heal on their own, however, if a fissure lasts longer than six weeks medicine or surgery may be needed. However, it’s been discovered that injecting botulinum toxin type A (Botox) directly into the sphincter will paralyse it temporarily, which will reduce pain and encourage healing.
And what of the incontinence?
We asked Doctor Rick Viney consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham, who told us that anal botox does indeed relax and loosen the sphincter, think Martini’s and a smooth chat up line for your butthole but using a needle and a medical profession on the other end of it.
He adds, “It’s not unsafe but if the dose is a little strong you can expect some faecal incontinence. It’s not permanent and will wear off after 4 to 9 months”.
However, the results aren’t immediate, Viney reveals,”Remember it takes a week or two to work so take things easy straight after treatment”.
Oh, and you may not be able to control your farts either.
Think we’ll pass on this one.