It’s none of your god-damn business.
On Valentine’s Day, Tom Daley and husband, Dustin Lance Black announced to the world that they were expecting a baby. The announcement from Dustin (on Instagram – how modern) simply said, “happy valentines, from ours to yours” and included an ultrasound picture of their child.
It wasn’t long before questions about the child’s mother were being raised, both on social and mainstream media. LBC Radio Tweeted a question on whether it was sinister, while one of its presenters Shelagh Fogarty wrote, “No mention of the womb and the woman or women making this possible. Nice.”
LBC ended up apologising for the tone of its question and deleting the Tweet.
Katie Hopkins suggested that the baby was “bought” to fix their marriage…
How sweet. He bought something special for his husband to fix their marriage woes. pic.twitter.com/skRf4FKMKB
— Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) February 15, 2018
No. They’re renting a woman’s body and ripping a newborn away from his/her birth mother without any regard for the needs of the child. It’s selfish. https://t.co/6mLT5A8C4A
— Kaeley Triller (@KaeleyT) February 15, 2018
Tom you and your husband are not having a baby…. one of you has been a sperm donor to a surrogate mother , one of you will be the childs biological father …. your husband will never be the childs father ….
— itegsy (@itegsy) February 14, 2018
Can I ask how this works? There’s a biological mother, but whose sperm is it?https://t.co/5xxbUBGQAY
— 2018. (@Coolio_Ash) February 14, 2018
Must confess that I find it difficult to come to terms with this news. If the married couple are not the actual birth parents of the baby – what do you tell the baby when their mother isn’t part of the family? Confusing or ? https://t.co/w12BoTQlqq
— Ian John (@inacentre) February 15, 2018
Even Richard Littlejohn, Daily Mail columnist whined, “We are not told her identity, where she lives, or even when the baby is due. She is merely the anonymous incubator.
What an incredibly creepy line of questioning Rich.
You know what Shelagh, Richard, Katie et al., it’s none of your business who the mother is or indeed whose sperm is used. And you know, it’s not that confusing. There are millions of children in the world without a mother, a father or either, but are raised in a variety of ways. As long as there is love, food, protection, warmth and education children will survive and grow up to be productive members of society.
Don’t let facts get in the way…
The simple truth is that we don’t know the facts. You don’t even know the first thing about their relationship. Only what they choose to share.
Let’s pause for a moment and think about the invasive questions or assumptions being made, especially because these two parents happen to be male. With an opposite-sex couple would you ever dream of asking the parents to be, the intimate conception details – like: Did you use a sperm donor? Did you use IVF? How long did you try?
Those questions are answers to be offered at the parents’ own will, not questions you have the right to ask.
You have to ask yourself why on earth do you want to know. How is it going to affect your life? I’d wager… not a dot.
For all we know, the mother didn’t want to be acknowledged. Maybe she wanted anonymity.
For all we know, Tom and Dustin aren’t using a surrogate. It could be that they adopted an yet unborn child.
Stop making your assumptions and just get on with your life.
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The editor and chief of THEGAYUK. All in a previous life wrote and produced songs on multi-platinum records.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.