THEGAYUK

Search results for: “ ”

  • 6 stupid things straight people mistake about gay men

    6 stupid things straight people mistake about gay men

    A problem gay men face regularly is ‘coming out’. Now I’m not talking about the first time you decide to embrace your sexuality, build up the courage and let the world know you’re a Spice Girl loving, bum blasting bender.

    CREDIT ©-s_bukleyDepositphotos
    CREDIT ©-s_bukleyDepositphotos

    I’m talking when you meet a new group of people, are in a new situation or start a new job and unless you’re sporting chaps with a vest or have a sign on your forehead, people generally assume you’re straight. This was the case two weeks ago when I started my summer course in preparation for Uni. This can be slightly awkward. Believe it or not, I didn’t wear chaps on my first day and decided not to make a Jack McFarland-style entrance into the classroom.

    By lunchtime, I had made some new friends and the topic turned to why I moved back home from Sydney. I explained that my partner and I had broken up and when discussing the situation one guy insisted on using the term ‘she’.

    The older I get the less I tend to give a shit so after 3 times of him saying it I decided to correct him and tell him she, was in fact, he. After a moment’s silence, he declared “I guess you were the woman then!” Well, the last time I checked we were both men with fully functioning penises and I don’t know about him but I’m still the same however to avoid any further awkwardness I decided to reply with a smile. A lot of people have perceptions about us gays, most of them being myths which I feel is my duty clear up!

    No 1: Gay men act like girls in bed –

    It’s true that when two men have sex, sometimes one can take on a more dominant role but I have personally never known any gay man to act like a girl in the bedroom, in fact, the complete opposite. Most guys tend to let their ‘manliness’ come out when it comes to having sex. There’s nothing like getting bitch slapped between the sheets, by a guy who was wearing denim hot pants and a sequined top twenty minutes prior on the dance floor to make for a great night of passion.

    No 2: Gay men want to bed every straight man that breathes –

    Come on really? Yeah when we talk to you, we may want to undress you but more than likely it’s to re-dress you in better clothes. Ladies, if your boyfriend approaches us or talks to us, it doesn’t make him gay! It simply means he is bi-curious.

    No 3: Gay men have sex with children and dogs –

    Now I’ve had my fair share of dogs but none of them had four legs and the last time I checked, people who have sex with children are called something and it isn’t homosexual.

    No 4: You can ‘catch gay’ –

    Unfortunately not, so really no need to cross the road/run the other way when you see us coming. It’s also over the top to go and say ten Hail Mary’s before dousing yourself in holy water if we happen to shake your hand. We are born fabulous, we didn’t catch it. Some have theories as to why, personally I feel it’s because Jesus hates us. So if you were born straight, you’re stuck being hetro I’m afraid.

    No 5: All gay men have AIDS: –

    No, we don’t all have AIDS or diseases for that matter, just most of us. Come on, it’s not the friggin 80s. That is why God invented condoms!

    No 6: All gay men love Kylie/Cher/Madonna –

    Now this one is indeed true.

  • Anger As Two Men Handed ‘Gay Guys’ Receipt At North Yorkshire Pub

    Two men in North Yorkshire were accidentally handed a receipt that described the two as ‘Gay Guys’.

    A pub in North Yorkshire has had to apologise to Al Butler, 26, and a old school friend who were handed a receipt that described the two as ‘Gay Guys’ on stools – to indicate where the men were sitting, even though the two are straight.

    Judson’s Bar has apologised ‘unreservedly’ to the two men and the waitress who wrote the receipt has been ‘disciplined’.

    The two men went to Judson’s Bar for lunch. It was only after the food had been delivered that Mr Butler’s friend noticed the note.

    Speaking to the Daily Mail, Mr. Butler said:

    ‘My friend spotted it first and said, “I think the manager’s misconstrued our lunch”
    ‘I obviously thought it was inappropriate. It took a while for it sink in. It was not insulting, it was just a shock.
    ‘I was surprised. I would not expect it anywhere else. It’s as equally unacceptable as racism.
    ‘It’s not a bad thing to be called gay – although I’m not and neither is my friend – but I think it’s prejudiced. It’s jumping to a conclusion without the need to do so.’

     

    The bar’s owner Peter Ward told The Press, Yorkshire,

    ‘We have apologised unreservedly. While it was completely wrong, I don’t feel it was prejudiced.
    ‘It was completely unprofessional and it is not what our business is about.

    ‘We understand why the two gentlemen concerned were offended and we have apologised to them unreservedly.

    ‘We have also disciplined the waitress concerned and put in place a procedure so it will not happen again. I would add that everyone is welcome at Judson’s.’

    A spokesperson from Stonewall said,

    ‘Incidents like this highlight the importance of staff training. Identifying customers by their perceived sexual orientation is unnecessary and could cause offence. It’s right that the bar should apologise to the customers for this inappropriate behaviour.’

  • THEATRE REVIEW | The Picture of Dorian Gray at Dorian Gray’s Townhouse

    ★★★★ | The Picture of Dorian Gray at Dorian Gray’s Townhouse

    Staged in a Georgian townhouse in Greenwich “modernised” to suit a wealthy Victorian resident, The Alchemist Order have presented an exciting and innovative production of this classic Oscar Wilde play.

    For those that don’t know the story, The Picture of Dorian Gray is the tale of a young man who trades his soul for eternal youth and beauty. As he lives a life of hedonism and decadence, a portrait painted of him as a young man ages in his place. Often cited as one of the finest examples of Gothic literature, The Picture of Dorian Gray is exquisitely dark but peppered with Wilde’s trademark wit.

    Dorian, played by the brilliant Mia Hawk, is both innocent and debauched, and Hawk conveys both with conviction. Although momentarily distracting that he is played by a female, the combination of great acting, inventive staging and clever writing soon forgives this. Chatting to the cast after the performance, I learned that Mia had less than a week to rehearse this role following an injury to the original actor, which makes her portrayal of this complex character all the more impressive.

    Samuel Orange, Creative Director of The Alchemist Order, plays Lord Henry Wotton utterly convincingly and has a natural ability to hold a stage, in even the most intimate of spaces. The interplay between Lord Henry and Dorian strikes just the right balance of tension and allure. Similarly notable is Jonathan Redfern, playing Basil Hallward, who brings a somewhat mesmerising flair to his role and is completely believable as the tortured artist.

    An outstanding highlight for me, though, is the fantastic Louise Larchbourne, whose Mrs Leaf is thoroughly engaging, and carries just the right balance of servitude and mastery appropriate for her role. From the moment one steps through the door into Mr Gray’s salon, all through the interval and right through to the time you leave, Larchbourne remains perfectly in character, entertaining and serving guests with a respectful wit.

    This is the inaugural production of The Alchemic Order, and if it is any indication of what is to come, the future of creative and imaginative theatre is very, very secure.

    THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY plays at Dorian Gray’s Townhouse, 2 minutes’ walk from Greenwich station (exact address revealed upon booking) Tues – Sat until 28 September. Tickets are £35 (£25 on Tues) from www.thealchemicorder.com

  • OPINION | Is there a need to come out?

    Coming out as gay can be an apprehensive time of life. I’m sure most of you will be aware of that feeling of dread that becomes all-consuming when considering revealing your sexuality.

    What if people don’t accept it and your family disown you? What if you end up with no friends? Such questions spark a panic within, but then we take the plunge anyway with something along the lines of “Mum, Dad, I’m gay”. Should we have to come out though?

    My coming out was in a far less civilised manner than quietly announcing to my parents that I am gay. During an argument, my Dad asked me if I’m a queer. I shouted, “yes I f***ing am actually”. Drama ensued, but I won’t go into that right now for this is about the need to come out.

    The first time I began to debate this topic with myself was when I had not long come out. I spent weeks telling everyone I knew that I was gay and began to thrive on people’s reactions. But then one day one of my friends said “and…” when I excitedly told her I am gay. She could not care less. I was offended at the time as this was the first instance I had come across someone who didn’t react with excitement or horror to my big news. How dare she not be bothered, I thought. However, as it began to sink in I slowly realised that I actually appreciated her response. Being gay was not an issue to this person. She only cared about the person within; the heart and soul. I guess that is why I was her friend.

    From that moment I held back on telling people about my sexuality. I didn’t begin to hide it, but I would only talk about it if it was part of a conversation that involved discussing personal stuff. I considered the fact that I had not changed as a person and therefore it shouldn’t matter. Why should I be defined by my sexuality?

    That is how I carried on living my life until recently I began to change my opinion again. I have received a lot of press coverage recently due to organising my county’s first ever Pride event. I didn’t consider it at first, but the media coverage has been effectively outing me to the public. It made me feel slightly uncomfortable until I realised that it is probably a good thing for people to see a positive visible representation of a gay man in the paper or hear that on the radio, which brings me to answering the question; is there a need to come out?

    While not a profound need to reveal one’s sexuality, I do feel it is important to be visible. I am all for people having the right to keep their sexuality to themselves. That should be respected. But I do think it is important for people to open about their sexuality. It is only with increased visibility and openness that society and the world around us becomes a more tolerant place.

    If we didn’t have so many out people, would we be living in a generally tolerant society? I’m not sure that we would. With people remaining in the closet there would be no visibility. How can a society progress when it comes to something that can’t be seen? Of course, I’m looking at the bigger picture, but I see it as vital to always consider the bigger picture. To bring it down to a basic level and look at whether there is a need to come out to friends and family, then I think there is… for now.

    We still live in a world where everyone is assumed to be straight unless informed otherwise. Personally, I feel there is a need to come out if you are to have an open relationship with those close to you. How can there be a fruitful family relationship or friendship if a significant part of your being is kept a secret?

    Ultimately I believe in individual choice and people having the freedom to come out or not come out on their own terms. Surely the world would be a better place if everyone was out, though.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Ride Out for Human Rights

    Mystery bicycle ride to landmarks of famous humanitarians & LGBTs

    If you enjoy cycling, join us for our Ride Out for Human Rights around London on Sunday 6 October, starting at 10.30am in central London – at Gays The Word 66 Marchmont Street, WC1n 1AB

    We’re inviting you to join our fun bike ride to 11 mystery landmarks associated with famous LGBTs and humanitarians.
    It’s not a race. The ride is not timed, so you can ride as fast or as slow as you wish.

    If you haven’t got your own bike, consider hiring one from the London blue bike hire scheme.
    Spread the word. Bring your friends and family.
    The Ride Out for Human Rights is a fundraiser for the for Peter Tatchell Foundation. The registration fee is £20. Find out more and register via our website.

    If you can’t join us, please consider a donation.

    We receive no government funding and rely entirely on your generous donations. Your support makes a big difference. It enables us to continue speaking out for human rights.

    Please feel free to forward this invitation to your friends. Ask them to join us.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | A Life Backwards (The Crucible Theatre, Sheffield)

    ★★★★★ | A Life Backwards (The Crucible Theatre, Sheffield)

    After meeting at a protest to support two homeless charity workers, Alexander (played by Will Adamsdale) and Stuart (played by Fraser Ayres) develop an unlikely bond. Stuart becomes intrinsic in the organisation of Alexander’s public campaign and the two men find they have much more in common than they ever thought they would. But for Stuart, who suffers from muscular dystrophy, the reality of life on the streets is never far away and his psychological problems gradually get the better of him as his physical and mental health start to deteriorate. Alexander, who had promised Stuart that he would write a biography that Stuart’s son would want to read, starts to speak to those who knew Stuart growing up. He uncovers a troubled past for Stuart, and starts to understand the impact and implications of Stuart’s family, schooling and disability.

    Based on the biography of the same name, which chronicles the true life story of Stuart Shorter, this play was an outstanding piece of theatre. The intelligent writing of the piece shone through, having the audience laughing out loud one moment and sitting with teary eyes hanging on every word uttered the next. The unravelling of Stuart’s life was beautifully written; with the latter half of the play deconstructing the complex character it had so carefully crafted in the first half. Stuart is portrayed as likeable, funny, resilient and sensitive, yet at the same time violent, volatile, unpredictable and unstable. The script itself was, in equal parts, genuinely funny, moving, warm, touching and upsetting as you learn who Stuart really is and you are left wondering whether you should or shouldn’t actually like him.

    The acting in the play was of a very high standard all round with the minimal cast drawing in the audience with their performances, meaning that you could feel definite shifts in the atmosphere of the studio theatre as everyone became absorbed in the story.

    But undoubtedly, the primary focus was on Fraser Ayres, who gave one of the best performances I have seen in the theatre for many years with his exceptional portrayal of Stuart. His convincing, sensitive and genuine performance of a man tormented by his inner demons and his failing body was quite frankly brilliant, moving, accurate and wholly believable.

    The setting of the Studio Theatre, an intimate performance space at Sheffield Theatres, only added to the total immersion in the play. The production values were basic with a very simple, but astutely utilised, scaffolding set, but the real draw here is the story, performances and emotions of the piece.

    This extraordinary play, produced by Sheffield Theatres and High Tide Festival Theatre is an outstanding piece of work. It was wholly engrossing in terms of its performance, writing and characters and left the audience feeling as though they had been through the full spectrum of emotions with the characters on stage. The thought provoking nature of the play was perfectly balanced with the soul, warmth and humour that punctuates it and provided an incredible opening to Sheffield Theatre’s autumn season. A must see.

    Stuart – A Life backwards is currently playing at the Crucible Theatre, Sheffield until the 28th September 2013. Details can be found at http://www.sheffieldtheatres.co.uk

  • COLUMN | Coming Out of the Broom Closest

    I’ve come out of two closets in my life. First through the rainbow-coloured door – coming out as gay. Then out of the broom closet – coming out as pagan.

    Every time I’ve come out as pagan, I get asked the same sort of questions. Here are some of those questions and my responses:

    What is it all about?
    Paganism is a nature-based religion, so as a pagan I have a reverence for nature. Paganism has a dual aspect of divinity – meaning we have both a god and goddess.

    This god and goddess duality symbolises balance that can be seen in all aspects of the world and universe. We cannot have life without death, happy times without sad times, etc.

    Unlike most other religions we don’t have a bible or other book that tells us what to believe. What pagans believe is much more individual to them. But the two big focuses in paganism are nature and individual responsibility for our own actions and omissions.

    Paganism has values that encourage equality, respect for all living beings and empathy for others, so generally pagans are very accepting of gay people. Acts of love, pleasure and beauty are important to pagans regardless of the sexuality or gender of those involved.

    Do you worship the devil?
    No…we actually don’t believe in a devil.

    Do you have a Church?
    Nature is our church. Some of us like to worship, celebrate and practice on our own; whereas others like to get together with other pagans.

    Covens are closed groups of pagans usually consisting of a maximum of thirteen people. They have a High Priestess and a High Priest as leaders of their group, kind of like priests/vicars. Coven members will teach one another what they know, including the initiates (those new to paganism). Rituals, rites, magic, music and dance will all be taught within the closed coven circle.

    Pagan moots are much more open. They are open to anyone and usually held at local cafes or pubs. Some moot organisers will arrange for talks on a range of pagan topics such as: herbs, crystals, healing, ghosts/other spirits, etc. Organisers usually ask for a donation or minimal charge to attend these fascinating talks.

    Is magic like that on Charmed? Or like Willow on Buffy The Vampire Slayer does?
    No…sorry. But it can be equally effective – it just works in a different way.

    Imagine I cast a Spell for money. Money won’t magically appear. But I might see a job that I can apply for that’s better paid than the one I’m doing.

    Just because I’ve cast the Spell, doesn’t mean the job is automatically mine! I still have to apply for the job, go to the interview and WOW the interviewers. I have to work hard to achieve my goals – like everyone else.

    What’s the difference between a Pagan, a Wiccan and a Druid?
    Paganism is a broad term to describe lots of different paths that have the same principle beliefs. Wicca, Druidism and others paths may have slightly different practices but share the same principle beliefs and are therefore are all encompassed under the term paganism.

    Think of it in terms of Christianity. Christianity is the over-arching term, but within that you have the Church of England, the Roman Catholic Church and many others all with the same principle beliefs but with slightly different practices.

    So you don’t celebrate Christmas?
    We have our own holidays, many of which coincide with Christian holidays. But our big celebration is Samhain or Halloween, which to pagans is like Christmas and New Year rolled into one.

    We are all individuals. Personally I celebrate Christmas with my family, because they do and because it’s a positive time for all. It’s the one time of year my family takes the time out to spend precious time together, to eat, drink and be merry – oh and of course there’s the presents!

    Where can I learn more?
    The best gay pagan book I’ve come across is Gay Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak. Christopher Penczak is a pagan gay man who wrote this for gay men. It even has a section on gay deities.

    Other non-gay books I’ve learned a lot about paganism from are: The Real Witches’ Handbook by Kate West, Elements of Witchcraft by Ellen Dugan,Witchcraft: Theory and Practice by Le De Angeles and Everyday Magic by Dorothy Morrison. There’s also a myriad of information on the internet –just do a Google search.

  • ‘AIDS Ring’ Video By Pat Robertson Reinstated by YouTube

    Stonewall Bigot Nominee Pat Robertson has lost his battle to have a controversial AIDS remark removed from YouTube.

    The 83 year-old televangelist has lost his fight with YouTube to have a comment he made about gay men spreading AIDS with a ring which could cut and infect those who shook hands with someone wearing the ring in San Francisco, removed after the Google owned service re-instated the video.

    Robertson claimed the gay community had also passed several ‘draconian laws’ which prohibited people from discussing this particular affliction.’

    The video’s copyright owner the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) initially had the video removed, stating copyright infringement but when the clip reemerged with Robertson’s outrageous remarks removed Right Wing Watch (RRW) wrote,

    ‘…The episode reveals the lengths CBN will go to hide and censor the statements made by its own leader,’

    The video has now been reinstated after RWW said that the clip fell under a fair use clause – and seemingly YouTube agrees.

    Last week Stonewall released a list of nominees for its 8th Annual Awards, Pat Robertson has been nominated for a Bigot Of The Year Award.

  • Stephen Crohn Who Helped With AIDS Study Dies At 66.

    The man who’s natural resistance to AIDS helped further the study of the disease has died aged 66.

    Stephen Crohn has died aged 66 in New York City, the cause is being reported as suicide by his sister Amy Crohn Santagata who confirmed that he died on the 23rd August.

    In 1978 his boyfriend Jerry Greenwood was dying of a disease which hadn’t yet been named – and would eventually be one of the first gay men in the US to die of what would be later be named as AIDS.

    Mr. Crohn watched as dozens of his friends succumbed to this new disease which ravaged the gay community in the late 70s and well into the 80s. Yet, Mr. Crohn said that he had been as sexually active as his friends and had taken no special precautions.

    However, Mr. Crohn had a natural resistance to the disease and this led to deeper comprehension and learning about HIV – the virus which causes AIDS.

    He worked throughout his life to help doctors and scientists understand the virus and disease better.

    His resistance to AIDS made him somewhat of a celebrity, with the Independent naming him “The Man Who Can’t Catch AIDS” in an article in March 1996. His story was told in documentaries and interviews around the world.

    He was a freelance editor for Fodor’s Travel and an artist.

    Speaking to the New York Times Ms. Santagata said,

    “My brother saw all his friends around him dying, and he didn’t die,

    “He went through a tremendous amount of survivor guilt about that and said to himself, ‘There’s got to be a reason.’

    “He was quite extraordinary, and then also quite ordinary,” she said.

    To read more about Stephen Crohn life click here

  • COLUMN | Auto Outed

    When it comes to being gay or straight acting, I definitely sit somewhere towards the more fabulous end of the continuum. Not that I approve of that whole gay/straight acting thing. However good you are at DIY or playing football; you’re not that straight acting with a cock in your mouth. Although, thinking about some of the straight men I’ve met over the years…

    I was a slightly effeminate child. When I say slightly effeminate, I mean that my idol was Wonder Woman and there was always ‘Girls’ World Styling Head’ written at the top of my Christmas wish list in pink glitter pen. I’m sure that I was auto outing myself with every sissy boy lisp and mince. This wasn’t a problem in infant and junior school but once I hit secondary school, I was the target of a fair bit of attention. It was usually the wrong sort of attention (the hostile kind), but I didn’t have to identify myself to any of the other children as being gay. They worked it out all on their own.

    There are pluses and minuses in every situation. As a teenager, I wished that I was less conspicuous and that people couldn’t tell so easily that I was gay. Now, I don’t care at all. I see positives. At least I don’t have to constantly come out to every new person I meet. They seem to work it out for themselves somehow. Maybe had I been able to hide the fact that I’m gay from the rest of the world then I’d be closeted and miserable somewhere; one of the legions of married men sating their desires in grubby public lavs. I’m thankful for small mercies.

  • Cher turned down Russian Olympics Sochi appearance

    The American superstar and gay icon has turned down opportunities linked with the Sochi Winter Olympics.

    In an interview with Macleans.ca the Believe singer said that she had been asked by an unnamed Russian oligarch to be an ambassador for the Olympics.”I can’t name names but my friend called who is a big oligarch over.

    “I can’t name names but my friend called who is a big oligarch over there, and asked me if I’d like to be an ambassador for the Olympics and open the show. I immediately said no. I want to know why all of this gay hate just exploded over there. He said the Russian people don’t feel the way the government does.”

    Cher’s new album ‘Closer To The Truth’ is due to be released on October 14th 2013

More posts