A problem gay men face regularly is ‘coming out’. Now I’m not talking about the first time you decide to embrace your sexuality, build up the courage and let the world know you’re a Spice Girl loving, bum blasting bender.
I’m talking when you meet a new group of people, are in a new situation or start a new job and unless you’re sporting chaps with a vest or have a sign on your forehead, people generally assume you’re straight. This was the case two weeks ago when I started my summer course in preparation for Uni. This can be slightly awkward. Believe it or not, I didn’t wear chaps on my first day and decided not to make a Jack McFarland-style entrance into the classroom.
By lunchtime, I had made some new friends and the topic turned to why I moved back home from Sydney. I explained that my partner and I had broken up and when discussing the situation one guy insisted on using the term ‘she’.
The older I get the less I tend to give a shit so after 3 times of him saying it I decided to correct him and tell him she, was in fact, he. After a moment’s silence, he declared “I guess you were the woman then!” Well, the last time I checked we were both men with fully functioning penises and I don’t know about him but I’m still the same however to avoid any further awkwardness I decided to reply with a smile. A lot of people have perceptions about us gays, most of them being myths which I feel is my duty clear up!
No 1: Gay men act like girls in bed –
It’s true that when two men have sex, sometimes one can take on a more dominant role but I have personally never known any gay man to act like a girl in the bedroom, in fact, the complete opposite. Most guys tend to let their ‘manliness’ come out when it comes to having sex. There’s nothing like getting bitch slapped between the sheets, by a guy who was wearing denim hot pants and a sequined top twenty minutes prior on the dance floor to make for a great night of passion.
No 2: Gay men want to bed every straight man that breathes –
Come on really? Yeah when we talk to you, we may want to undress you but more than likely it’s to re-dress you in better clothes. Ladies, if your boyfriend approaches us or talks to us, it doesn’t make him gay! It simply means he is bi-curious.
No 3: Gay men have sex with children and dogs –
Now I’ve had my fair share of dogs but none of them had four legs and the last time I checked, people who have sex with children are called something and it isn’t homosexual.
No 4: You can ‘catch gay’ –
Unfortunately not, so really no need to cross the road/run the other way when you see us coming. It’s also over the top to go and say ten Hail Mary’s before dousing yourself in holy water if we happen to shake your hand. We are born fabulous, we didn’t catch it. Some have theories as to why, personally I feel it’s because Jesus hates us. So if you were born straight, you’re stuck being hetro I’m afraid.
No 5: All gay men have AIDS: –
No, we don’t all have AIDS or diseases for that matter, just most of us. Come on, it’s not the friggin 80s. That is why God invented condoms!
No 6: All gay men love Kylie/Cher/Madonna –
Now this one is indeed true.