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  • FILM REVIEW | Their Finest

    FILM REVIEW | Their Finest

    ★★★ | Their Finest


    A film about London in 1940 during The Blitz is finally being released in theatres – Their Finest – a year and a half after principal photography began and 6 months after it had its European premiere at the London Film Festival in October 2016.

    I’m not entirely sure why it has taken this long for the film to finally make it into the cinemas – it’s not a bad movie, but it’s also not a great movie.

    Their Finest details a motley crew of screenwriters tasked with writing a script for a film that would hopefully lift up Britain’s flagging spirits during WWII as well as inspire America to enter the war. That’s a lot of responsibility for three people to take on, in a film based on the 2009 novel by Lissa Evans. Gemma Arterton’s character Catrin Cole (based on a real woman, Diana Morgan, who wrote for Ealing Studios) actually has no screenwriting experience, but she’s basically just looking for a paycheck to help her artist husband Ellis (Jack Huston) pay the bills. But she gets more than what she bargained for when she’s hired by the British Ministry of Information to assist Tom Buckley (a very good Sam Claflin) on a film script. Winston Churchill tells them that they need to write a story that will inspire the nation, and so they write a propaganda film amidst all that is happening in Europe. But it’s Bill Nighy as the leading man of their film (playing Ambrose Hillard) who steals the movie. He’s wonderful and witty and oh so debonair when he’s on set in the making of the movie within the movie, and he’s wonderful off the set when he’s telling jokes to the rest of the cast and crew, and tender and fatherly when he is giving advice to Catrin. But all is not ok in her life, she catches her husband cheating on her on one of her few visits she makes to their home, and her and Buckley realize they have more in common with each other than just putting words to paper. Set this all against the backdrop of WWII and what you’ve got is a classic in the making.

    But Their Finest is not quite a classic. Some of the scenes look a bit staged, not very realistic for a film that relies on the portrayal of London during the Bliz. Arterton is fine and lights up the screen with her beautiful face, and Claflin is very handsome as her mentor, but director Lone Scherfing (who directed the wonderful An Education with Carey Mulligan) along with a script by Gaby Chiappe, don’t quite make it 100% believable. Production values are fine, costumes wonderful and the score very dramatic when it needs to be, but it’s Nighy that you will remember – he’s deserving of nominations for this film – but the film itself not so much.

  • UKIP candidate: “I don’t want any LGBT community”

    Ever heard of Gisela Allen? Probably not. This morning, however, she became a viral internet sensation after a weird diatribe of what she wants and doesn’t want for her country, appeared in her local paper.

    clydebank-post-ukip-1492857413

    Gisela Allen is a UKIP candidate for a council seat in Garscadden/Scotstounhill, Scotland. After being asked by a reporter, “Why do you want to be a councillor?” for the Clydebank Post  Allen laid out her wishes.

    So what’s the take out from her wish list? She wants:

    The death penalty, specifically the guillotine, (not hanging),

    Mums to stay at home to look after their children,

    The reopening of public toilets,

    To close golf courses (they’re an environmental threat),

    Children on horses,

    No plastic bags, they’re threats to dolphins and animals…

    Classrooms for classes,

    No sex ed,

    People to work until they’re 70,

    No buses passes for older people,

    Oh, and “I do not want any LGBT community”.

     

    Yep.

     

  • TIMELINE: What is happening to gay men in Chechnya?

    The world was alerted to a horrifying assault on gay men in Chechnya in April 2017. This is how the story unfolded.

    where is Chechnya?

    The story of the abduction, torture and killing of gay men in Chechnya, was reported thanks to the fearless investigations by Russian News outlet Novaya Gazeta. A journalist by the name of Elena Milashina broke the story that 100 men, suspected of being gay had been “rounded up”. The initial article, which was called, “Honor Killings”, suggested that some had been tortured and at least three had been killed.

    The genesis

    9th March

    According to Milashina, the systematic roundup of gay men (or those suspected of being gay) began after an LGBT rights group in Russia, GayRussia, sought permission to run LGBT prides across the country. Permission was denied on the basis that the parades would go against Russia’s anti-LGBT law, which bans the “propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations” to anyone under the age of 18.

    The justification for seeking official approval for Pride has been reported as a strategy to collate evidence for a case against Russia in the European Court of Human Rights.


    The roundup

    1st April

    On  and before April the 1st, men were rounded up, it was coined a ‘prophylactic sweep’ in Chechnya. At first, the region’s officials denied that any such roundup and detention was “lies and misinformation”. A spokesman for the leader of Chechnya, said to the Interfax news agency,

    “You cannot detain and persecute people who simply do not exist in the republic,

    “If there were such people in Chechnya, the law-enforcement organs wouldn’t need to have anything to do with them because their relatives would send them somewhere from which there is no returning.”

    It was even suggested that the story was an April Fool’s joke.


    Use of mobile phone to catch more gay men

    Pexels / Pixabay

    It was reported that officials rounding up suspected gay men were using their victim’s mobile phones to trace and catch other men. Their phones were reportedly monitored for contact information. One man spoke about how a gay friend called him suggesting a meeting. The call was calm and didn’t arouse any suspicion. When he arrived it became clear that the call had been a setup. Six people were in waiting.


    Mass Meeting

    3rd April

    A mass, televised meeting in Grozny, the capital of Chechnya, showed over 15,000 people gather to protest the article in Novaya Gazeta. In a speech to the crowd, an advisor to Kadyrov called the newspaper “enemies of our faith and of our motherland.” The crowd, according to Human Right’s Watch, “adopted a resolution threatened retribution against the journalist”.


    Concentration Camps

    Chechyan-gay-concentration-camp

    10th April 

    As news grew of the mass detention of these, news-outlets across the UK started to label the detention centres as “concentration camps”. Horrific details of abuse began to surface. Information about the abuse was coming in through second-hand and third sources because of the extreme taboo nature of being homosexual in Chechnya.

    Ekaterina Sokirianskaia, Russia project director for the International Crisis Group, told the Guardian, “I have heard about it happening in Grozny [the Chechen capital], outside Grozny, and among people of very different ages and professions.”

    Details have emerged of the conditions that those detained have faced. Reports of beatings, electrocution and placing the men into humiliating positions have all been revealed.


    Protests

    11th April

    In the UK, the news was finally becoming mainstream. On the 11th April, it was announced that a protest would take place near to the Russian Embassy in London. The protest was backed by Pride In London. Around the UK, several other protests have taken place to show solidarity.


    Muslim Charity Imaan LGBTQ reacts

    11th April

    Imaan LGBTQ strongly condemned the actions of officials in Chechnya on the 11th April. Taking to Twitter the group said that they, “condemn the reported actions of the Chechen authorities against its LGBT population”.

    The group then called upon fellow Muslims everywhere to do the same.

    Chechnya is a Muslim-majority country.


    UK Government reacts

    12th April

    On the 12th April, the UK’s Government finally reacted to the story. The UK’s Foreign office called on Russia to investigate the mass detention of gay men.

    In a statement Baroness Anelay said:

    “The detention and ill-treatment of over 100 gay men in Chechnya is extremely concerning. Reports have also suggested that at least three of these men have been killed. The statement by the regional Government, implying that such treatment towards LGBT people is acceptable, is particularly abhorrent. We condemn any and all persecution, and call on the authorities to promptly investigate and ensure that perpetrators of human rights abuses are brought to justice.

    “The human rights situation for LGBT people in Russia has deteriorated significantly in recent years and we continue to voice our serious concern with Russian authorities at all levels. Russia’s international human rights obligations require them to protect citizens who may be at risk of persecution.

    “We expect the Russian government to fulfill its obligations to this end, and to uphold the rule of law.’


    Electrocution

    13th April 

    News of the devastating abuse that some had experienced inside the camp started to be published. According to the Guardian, and one man they managed to interview about his treatment, it emerged that they were being beaten with wooden sticks, metal poles. The verbal abuse for being gay was endless. Some had metal clamps attached to their bodies and were given electric shocks.


    Journalists fear for their lives

    14th April

    During an interview on the Victoria Derbyshire show on the BBC, it was revealed that the journalist who broke the story was in hiding and the management team of Novaya Gazeta feared for the safety of their staff.

    Elena Milashina said that a ‘jihad’ had been declared on her and the staff at her outlet after 15,000 people met in the biggest mosque in Chechnya and denounced the paper and journalists who published the original story.

    Milashina said,

    “They reacted [to the story] in a terrifying manner… on April 3, in the biggest mosque in Grozny, 15,000 religious and various types of people came together and announced a Jihad on us… not just me personally, but all journalists at Novaya Gazeta.

    “They said the people at the newspaper who raised this question have damaged the honour of Chechen nation and should be prosecuted.”

    There is a precedent for their fears. In 2006 a journalist for Novaya Gazeta, Anna Politkovskaya was shot dead in her home. Another, Natlaya Estemirova was murdered in 2009.


    Kadyrov denies detention and torture reports.
    Putin and Kadrov

    19th April

    In a meeting with President Putin, Kadyrov denied the republic was rounding up gay men. The Russian State Prosecutor’s Office opened an investigation into the reported abuse, but a spokesman, Dmitry Peskov said that investigators had not found any evidence of abductions, killings, or torture.


     

    Elimination of all gay men

    21st April

    On the 21st April, it emerged that the leader of Chechnya had called for the “elimination” of gay men by the beginning of Ramadan.

    Speaking in Parliament, Sir Alan Duncan, Minister of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, said,

    “Human rights groups report that these anti-gay campaigns and killings are orchestrated by the head of the Chechen republic, Ramzan Kadyrov.

    “He has carried out other violent campaigns in the past, and this time he is directing his efforts at the LGBT community.

    “Sources have said that he wants the community eliminated by the start of Ramadan.”

    The minister added, “Such comments, attitudes and actions are absolutely beyond contemptible.”


    1st May 2017

    LGBT Protesters arrested in Russia

    LGBT activists have been round up by Russian police after they demonstrated against the persecution of gay and bisexual men Chechnya.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Whisper House, The Other Palace, London

    ★★ | Whisper House
    whisper-house review

    The Whisper House is a 2009 musical with music and lyrics by Duncan Sheik, writer of the multi-award winning rock musical Spring Awakening. Never performed before in the UK, this felt like it could be an exciting possibility for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s new venue. The bar has been set high with recent jazz musical The Wild Party and the raucous studio hit This Joint is Jumpin’. Sadly, this ghost story felt more soulless than spooky. It was more of a stifled yawn than a sneaky whisper. In spite of a great cast, clever use of lighting and an evocative set, it’s a musical with a dreary book and songs that seem to merge into one anther.

    In wartime America, pre-pubescent Christopher is sent to his aunt’s eerie old lighthouse following the death of his father and his mother’s subsequent admission to a psychiatric hospital. Aunt Lily is a mournful woman, encumbered by a club foot and haunted by a past event. Oh, there’s also two convenient singing ghosts who waft about the stage making dramatic hand movements around people’s faces and pulling quaint horror film faces. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds. There’s also a flimsy plot involving a Japanese man who works for her and the xenophobia of the times. There are storms, of course, and water swishing about. It’s a weak storyline and an inadequate framework for the equally dull songs. There’s something strangely hypnotic about the whole thing and not in a good way. I came away unsure how long I’d been in the theatre, whether there was a storyline and without any ability to recall the songs.

    If you’re a die-hard musical theatre fan and love Spring Awakening then you might enjoy this as a rare chance to see a musical that unsurprisingly failed to hit London before. You’ll definitely enjoy the cast and their fine voices. My general advice, though, would be hollered loudly rather than whispered: stay away.

     

    Whisper House plays at The Other Palace until 27th May 2017

  • Policeman killed in Paris “terror” attack was “proud gay man”

    The policeman who was shot and killed in what is being called a suspected terror attack in the French capital was a “proud gay man” committed to the LGBT cause.

     

    Xavier Jugelé was killed when he was shot in the head in a suspected terror attack in Paris, last night. It has been revealed that he leaves behind his partner, who he was civilly wed to. He was a member of Flag!, a group that represents LGBT police officers.

    Mr Jugelé was described by the New York Times as a “proud gay man”. He had been a serving officer since 2010.

    The 37-year-old officer was shot by a gunman who was later killed by French security forces as he tried to flee the scene.

    Mr Jugelé was sitting in a police vehicle near the world-famous Champs-Élysées when the gunman opened fire.

    The shooter, 39-year-old Karim Cheurfi, was apparently known to security services had been a list of suspected terrorists. He lived in the city’s suburbs. ISIS have claimed responsibility for the attack.

    Mr Jugelé had been one of the first responders during the 2015 Paris terror attacks in which 130 people were killed.

    Mickaël Bucheron, president of Flag said,

    “He was a simple man who loved his job, and he was really committed to the LGBT cause,

    “He joined the association a few years ago, and he protested with us when there was the homosexual propaganda ban at the Sochi Olympic Games.”

    Two other officers and a civilian were wounded during the shooting.

  • Chechen President: Eliminate All Gay Men By Ramadan

    The President of Chechnya has vowed to eliminate the LGBT community, by the end of May.

    Following the horrific details of gay men being detained, tortured and even killed, in the region, the head of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov has said that he wants to eliminate gay men by the start of Ramadan. Up to a hundred men, suspected of being gay are being held, against their wills in what some media outlets have called “concentration camps”.

    Ramadan is a holy month in the Islamic faith and begins on the 26th May. Chechnya is a Muslim-majority country.

    According to a Russian newspaper, Novaya Gazeta,  men, suspected of being gay, disappeared overnight in the Russian Republic of Chechnya. Previously a spokesperson for the leader of the Republic denied the reports and claimed that gay people did not exist in the region.

     Speaking in Parliament, Sir Alan Duncan, Minister of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, said,

    “Human rights groups report that these anti-gay campaigns and killings are orchestrated by the head of the Chechen republic, Ramzan Kadyrov.

    “He has carried out other violent campaigns in the past, and this time he is directing his efforts at the LGBT community.

    “Sources have said that he wants the community eliminated by the start of Ramadan.”

    The minister added, “Such comments, attitudes and actions are absolutely beyond contemptible.”

    Ramzan Kadyrov allegedly made the threats on Russian media.

    Sir Alan, continued,

    “Credible reports suggesting that at least four people have been killed and many have been tortured are particularly shocking,

    ‘”Statements by the regional government in Chechnya which appear to condone and incite violence against LGBT people are utterly despicable.”

    FEARING FOR LIFE

    Last week, the journalist who broke the news about Chechyna’s purge on gay men revealed she was in hiding after the news reverberates across the globe. Speaking on the Victoria Derbyshire show, Novaya Gazeta journalist Elena Milashina said that a “jihad” had been declared on her and the staff at her outlet after 15,000 people met in the biggest mosque in Chechnya and denounced the paper and journalists who published the original story.

  • OPINION | Religion Can Have A Place In Politics

    “Tim Farron is a homophobe”. At least, that’s what has been blowing up Twitter the past few days.

    This is due, more recently, to him again dodging a question about homosexuality from Cathy Newman on Channel 4 News and whether or not Mr Farron believed it was a sin. His response was about as reassuring as your one night stand telling you it’s “probably not chlamydia”. He paused, grimaced and managed simply to say that he wouldn’t make theological pronouncements. Cathy Newman was asking him because, after asking the same question in 2015, he responded: “in Christianity, we’re all sinners”. Bravo. This doubling-down on avoiding the question led to a big debate about the importance of one’s religion when you’re running for office.

    But what’s the precedent on this? Well, Prime Ministers have always discussed their faith. Britain, by tradition, is a Christian country so it was always a political point to be scored. Tony Blair was famously religious and even admitted, during an interview with Michael Parkinson, that he prayed to God over the Iraq War. Yet, Blair is considered a Gay Icon and even won an award from Gay Times. Blair, as Prime Minister, ushered in a raft of LGBT-positive legislation such as civil partnerships, the right to adopt, the equal age of consent, the repeal of section 28, ending the LGBT Armed Forces ban as well as stringent hate crime laws and the Gender Recognition Act. Never once did the public consider his religious beliefs to be in the way of his progressive ideals.

    So let’s look at Tim Farron again. What is different between his awkward response to the gay question to that of Corbyn’s homosexuality-as-a-choice gaffe? Farron did an interview with GQ in 2015 where he asserted his viewpoint, despite his religion “I’m not a religious leader; I’m a political leader. I think that everybody is utterly equal. People should be free to love who they want and marry who they want. But I don’t go making theological pronouncements.”

    These days, we are all so quick to judge but it’s understandable. Heinous crimes have been committed throughout history against LGBT people on the basis of religion. We’ve seen in America the debate about same-sex marriage and how it’s not ‘what God intended’. Homosexuality as a sin is something that seems to be the only thing most religions agree on. Therefore, I feel like LGBT people almost have a Pavlovian reaction to religion – where we hear the word God, we assume hate will follow. But that isn’t fair. We have to accept that, sometimes, our politicians are allowed to change their minds.

    Look at Hillary Clinton who in 2000 commented that “marriage has got historic, religious and moral content that goes back to the beginning of time, and I think a marriage is as a marriage has always been, between a man and a woman.” Sure, she continued by saying that same-sex partnerships should enjoy the same rights but it still wasn’t out-and-out support that we saw from her during her 2008 Democratic nomination campaign and subsequent 2016 Presidential campaign. Tim Farron’s record is admittedly sketchy. He voted in favour of same-sex marriage but in 2007 voted against the Equality Act and in 2013 abstained from a third reading of the same-sex marriage bill. Also in 2007, he gave an interview to the Salvation Army’s War Cry magazine about abortion stating he felt, “abortion is wrong. Society has to climb down from the position that says there is nothing morally objectionable about abortion before a certain time. If abortion is wrong, it is wrong at any time.” However, he then said that, “the standards that define my personal morality as a Christian are not the standards of public morality”.

    This again raises an interesting question of how genuine someone’s belief in something needs to be. Tim Farron might be anti-abortion or even anti-LGBT rights but his party supports choice and supports LGBT equality. Should we trust somebody who only believes in something politically and not personally? Does it matter? Essentially, it all comes down to trust. Tim Farron’s personal beliefs right now have not dictated his political beliefs but, if he were Prime Minister, would that change? He would have to make big decisions where he would likely turn to his religion and to God, as Tony Blair did, for the right answer. Tony Blair always made it clear that he believed in equality. Tim Farron seemingly believes it’s the right thing to believe politically. There’s a difference.

    Well, it’s always going to be tough for LGBT people to believe a religious candidate is a candidate that would represent them. Yet, at the same time, it would be equally discriminatory for us to judge people solely on their religion.

    But what about religious politicians in general? Well, it’s always going to be tough for LGBT people to believe a religious candidate is a candidate that would represent them. Yet, at the same time, it would be equally discriminatory for us to judge people solely on their religion. Religion in the modern day is becoming flexible. The Pope himself has stated that ‘God is not afraid of new things’ and continues to try to modernise the Church’s views on homosexuality and divorce (despite hesitation of the Synod). We cannot put all religious people in a box but at the same time, we’re right to be vigilant. Decades of persecution on religious grounds has taught us to be hesitant when it comes to politics and religion.

    Tim Farron’s gaffe is no worse than Corbyn’s, personally, but the difference is that Corbyn has a strong track record of voting for equal rights. I strongly believe we must judge our politicians on how they vote more than what they say. I understand, it’s not nice to hear a politician to even hint that homosexuality is a sin, especially when you think about the effect it has on younger LGBT people. But the lip service politicians give for votes (where being ambiguous means they can play both sides) is different completely to how they ultimately vote in Parliament. When it comes to politics, actions always speak louder than words and it is vital that everybody research candidates and their voting stances because, ultimately, the biggest God any MP prays to is their electorate.

    If you want to see how your MP has voted on a wide range of issues, check out www.theyworkforyou.com.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Cast of Drag Race season 9 pay homage to George Michael video – WATCH

    The contestants from RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9 paid tribute to the late George Michael in a reworking of his hit ‘Too Funky’.

    NYC drag queen Peppermint and singer-songwriter Ari Gold covered Michael’s song as a duet that also features the CuCu loving Cynthia Lee Fontaine.

    British singer George Michael died at the age of 53 on Christmas day. He was found dead in his Oxfordshire home in Goring from natural causes.

    His iconic ‘Too Funky’ video was released in 1992 as part of the Red Hot + Dance album which raised money and awareness to fight HIV and AIDS.

    Peppermint’s video starts with Cynthia Lee Fontaine asking the question, “would you like me to seduce you?” in Spanish followed by Sasha Velour, Alexis Michelle, Valentina, Shea Couleé, Charlie Hides, Kimora Blac, Trinity Taylor, Eureka, Farrah Moan, Jaymes Mansfield, Aja and Peppermint walk down the run was just like Linda Evangelista, Tyra Banks and Julie Newmar did in George’s original video.

    Speaking to Billboard Peppermint said that George Michael was an “absolute inspiration to me and many queer people during a time when being openly gay was a career killer.”

    She went on to say: “It’s likely the public would have rejected him had he come out in the ’80s and instead he had them dancing, celebrating, and even singing along to lyrics about the life & love of a queer man. I think it just shows that we are all more alike than different. We really wanted the chance to pay proper tribute to George Michael.”

    Watch the video here:

  • COMMENT | Does the gay community have an issue with ageism?

    COMMENT | Does the gay community have an issue with ageism?

    We’ll have a gay old timer…

    stevepb / Pixabay

    So here is some background to the idea for these articles… I’m over 50 and no longer feel part of a community like I used to in my 20s or 30s. On the rare occasion, I venture into the Manchester Gay Village or Soho in London, it doesn’t feel right as if I don’t belong anymore as if there’s nothing in those communities for me.

    Next time you’re out and about, take a look around at the bars and clubs on offer, who are they aimed at? Check out their clientele – you have my permission to do that and please, take your time. That cute blonde? Under 30. That red head? Under 40. Where are the LGBTQ people in their 50s or 60s and over?

    Where do we go if you simply want a drink, a dance or a hook-up?  It used to be so easy – find a bar, flirt… job done! After around 40, suddenly, you’re a “daddy” like it or not. There seems to be little else on offer.

    I know, I know, I’m generalising but you get my drift. The majority of venues cater for a younger client group and simply mirror something I’ve been feeling for a while about our inclusive LGBTQ community.

    We’re ageist, like it or not, we are.  I think it could be tracked back to a wider, societal issue.

    We don’t embrace older people and tend to forget that we all age, even the ones who use pig placenta nightly or plump and primp for days. We all age and at some point, we reach that point where we don’t fit into our younger lives, we change but does the community we were once an active part of change with us?  Is it them or us that needs to alter our perceptions and attitudes?

    So, my aim is to write about some of those issues we face as we age, from a gay point of view. Really serious issues like; Can you wear super skinny jeans after 50? Velcro shoes – friend or foe?

    Sorry, couldn’t resist! I mean things like where do you find love after 50?  The complete head f**k of dressing too young and what does age appropriate mean?  The whole thing can be a minefield but we’re here to help or irritate… or both.

    I’ve gotten together a group of t’interweb friends to help by giving the benefit of their advice and experience and who are also willing for me to pester them for straw polls and ideas of what bothers them.

    Watch this space for my first piece, based around finding love after a certain age…

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Dear Unloved Me … What Advice Would You Give The Pre-First-Love You?

    If you could go back before you fell in love for the first time, what would you tell yourself?

    Dear Unloved Me,

    This is a difficult one to cover. Ideally, I want to reveal what I wish I’d known before I fell in love for the very first time. I guess if that love had have lasted this wouldn’t be difficult to write at all. We’ve all heard it before; it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. You might not believe this yet, but it is true – well kind of, at least.

    You’re going to learn a lot from that first love, kiddo. First of all, you’re going to realise quite suddenly how quickly you can fall, and it’s a hard fall. (The landing isn’t what we’re concentrating on here – that’s a letter all of its own, unfortunately.) But the fall, oh the fall, it’s terrifying and exciting all at once. Prepare yourself to feel an entire rollercoaster of emotions on an almost daily basis.

    This love itself isn’t going to start in the traditional fairy tale manner you’re expecting, so there will be little warning before it hits you like a wall. Really, my only advice for you while you’re at this stage, is to enjoy it. Go with the flow and roll with the punches. It’s the first time so it’s not going to be the smoothest for you, but that’s okay because you’re learning.

    Another thing you’ll learn over time is that the amount of love you give out isn’t always the same as the amount you receive back. It’s not got its own patented return system, sadly. This is made all the worse due to the amount of time you considered yourself unworthy of love. It was a ridiculous belief – of course – but it still plagued you for a solid twenty years of your life, so you’re going to have to expect some repercussions from that. You’re going to lose it a little bit, terrified that if you don’t convince someone you love them just enough they’ll turn and leave with no warning.

    Because of this, you’re also going to lose a little self-worth. Far too quickly your own happiness will rely on the actions of another. Here’s some advice on that matter – and I mean this with the most sincerity – stop. You can’t place all of your chips on one bet – well you can, but it’s a foolish decision with so many variables. What I mean is that it’s not fair on you, and it’s not fair to him to expect him alone to make you happy. You can’t fall for someone and live as though they’re the only thing in the world – or even the only thing in your world – that really matters. Don’t lose yourself for someone else, because that isn’t love at all. Love would never require you to do such a thing – it makes you more of a person, not less.

    You’ve spent a solid chunk of your life watching romantic comedies that have convinced you that a mid-story struggle is to be expected. This is the part where you have to prove your love with a ten-minute monologue, a bare-knuckle fight, or perhaps a church hall dance off. In your own version of events, this is going to be a prolonged up and down of emotions, a hell of a lot of radio silence, and a handful of broken promises. It’s not romantic. It’s not sweet. It’s not fair. Erase these movie scenes from your mind, and ignore every Taylor Swift lyric that works to convince you that anything worthwhile is worth a fight. While my advice for the first stage of this love was to go with the flow, this is where you really need to wake up and pay attention.

    This love is going to royally throw you in the deep end. As I mentioned, you’ll fall fast and hard, and hopefully, that will never be a part of how you love that changes. It’s the middle and the end of this love that you really have to learn from. Giving someone your everything doesn’t guarantee that you’ll receive this back. You don’t have to fight to feel worthy of someone’s love. And perhaps most importantly, a love should never destroy you more than it can rebuild you.

    Don’t lose yourself in love – not in this one, or any other – so much that you’ll struggle to find yourself again. It’s an interesting one that’s coming up, so enjoy the ride for as long as you can, but make sure you know when to get off.

    Kind Regards,

    The Loved, Unloved, and Loved Again You

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • 7 things you probably didn’t know about Ted Reilly

    He’s the actor who plays the openly gay character Johnny Carter in EastEnders, but what do we know about Ted Reilly?

    Johnny Carter actor gay?
    CREDIT: (C) BBC – Photographer: Kieron McCarron

    Is Ted Reilly gay?

    No, as far as we know Ted Reilly doesn’t identify as gay and is straight. He’s managed to keep his private life private except when he was spotted getting up close and personal with an unnamed woman at the National Television Awards in January! They were so into each other they were, eventually, allegedly told to move on because they were blocking an exit!

    He’s not the first Johnny Carter

    Ted is actually the second actor to play Johnny Carter after the original actor Sam Strike decided to quit the soap in 2014. Johnny Carter is not the first EastEnders’ character to be played by more than one person. In the past characters Lucy Beale, Martin Fowler and Sam Mitchell have all had actor changes. When he joined the cast he said,

    “I’m truly delighted to be joining such an iconic show. The Carters are a fantastic family and I can’t wait to get started!”

    How old is Ted Reilly?

    Ted was born on  14, 1994, which makes him 22 in 2017. His birthday makes him a Virgo.

    What was Ted Reilly doing before EastEnders?

    Before EastEnders Ted starred in Casualty, Law and Order and a number of other TV shows. He was in Call The Midwife months before landing the role as Johnny Carter.

    Is he political?

    Ted looks like he’s got a strong social conscious. He has tweeted and retweeted about a variety of issues including the minimum wage, Brexit, child safety on the internet and tax. Although he’s not overtly political he does retweet some interesting commentators and from some left-leaning news outlets.

    He’s an avid fan of EastEnders

    When Ted first took the role he revealed that he had been watching the show for the whole of his life. On his first day on set, he said,

    “My first day on set was very surreal and very strange being here, having growing up watching the show all my life,” he said in a Twitter video.

    “But probably one of the best moments of my life.”

    He added: “I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say. It was so many emotions all at once.”

    He has a brother and sister…

    They both feature quite regularly on his social feed.