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  • LOOK AT ME | Jodie Marsh: “Gay Porn Gets Me Off”

    LOOK AT ME | Jodie Marsh: “Gay Porn Gets Me Off”

    Jodie Marsh is known for her reserved and placid personality, her ability to blend into any situation and to carefully consider her words. All this have made her a national treasure. Oh no wait. Sorry… Jodie Marsh is loud, unafraid to say what she feels and takes no prisoners. We catch up with her to chat gay BFFs, Kim Kardashian, shagging Jeremy Kyle and her obsession with gay porn.

    Jodie Marsh

    Which you do you prefer:
    Gay Paris?
    Brighton?

    The sounds of a hot, toned, naked man being whipped?

    Well, it would probably be the third one because I’m actually celibate. But I have found that lately, don’t ask me why, but all that seems to turn me on is gay porn. By that I mean two men together or two women together. I don’t know why. I don’t want sex for myself but if I want to get in the mood, you know, on my own, kind of thing, all I want to look at is two men together or two women together (laughing) I think women have found man on man action hot for years, I know I have. I knew it turned me on when I watched Brokeback Mountain. I don’t know if that means I’m gay or whether it means I’m bisexual… That’s all that excites me these days.

    11/10 Give this woman a gift certificate for Cockyboys. STAT! We like a woman who gets off on gay porn. We’ve known for years that women like a bit of bum fun.

    We hear you’ve been celibate for four years, what are you waiting for?

    I just got to a point where I didn’t trust anyone, so I’m waiting for The One, whoever that might be. I got burned a lot of times, by people who tricked me or lied to me. In fact one, who was a gay guy, for reasons unknown he pretended to be straight and tried to date me. It was only when I trawled through his Facebook (as far as I possibly could) I found pictures of him snogging his ex-boyfriend. I was like, “what the f***!”, because he wasn’t even bi, he was fully gay, when I confronted him, he had no answer. I just haven’t found anyone worthy of shagging The Marsh.

    15/10 For your self worth… And for dating a gay guy. We’re pesky things you know… Always turning up where we’re not expected! 5 for branding yourself as The Marsh. Got to be done.

    What are your thoughts on C**k rings?

    Oh… I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen one used properly. When I was having sex years ago, it was generally me taking control and it would be me giving them a good seeing too. We might have involved sex toys and stuff, but I only ever mildly dabbled really… Only because it’s kind of an outrageous shag anyways with me…

    9/10 Wham Bam thank you Mr…

    Which is your favourite Kardashian?

    What’s that… sorry? (Explain the Kardashians) I’ve never watched the show, but my best friend, who is a gay guy, is obsessed with them. Obsessed. This is so funny, it’s going to sound awful, please do not think I’m being a bitch, I’m not, but I’m telling you factually what happened. We were at my house, and I’ve got this f***ng 80-inch, it’s the biggest telly you’ve ever seen; it’s HD, 3D and all that. I was like, ok, let’s put this shit on, let me see what all the fuss is all about… My friend’s gone a bit quiet and I’m like, ‘I don’t get it, I don’t get what all the fuss is about!’ He said, ‘right, can I be honest with you, cause your telly’s so big, you can see that actually they’re not that hot, because this HD shit. They look amazing on my telly, but my telly’s really small…’

    So you’re ruining the Kardashians, one gay man at a time?

    Yeah, I can assure you that on my telly they look like normal girls from Romford.

    9/10 for being such a size queen about the size of your telly.

    What’s the gayest thing about you
    A wedding dress that would make most Gypsy weddings pale in comparison?
    Your gym obsession?
    Your very own drag queen?

    I think it’s my very own Drag Queen, because I do know I have my very own drag queen in the form of Jodie Harsh, but I also do have my very own gay best friend Dave, who is more than happy for me to put a full face of make up on him and dress him up in silly things. That’s another added bonus because come fancy dress parties and Halloween I literally make him up in full drag and I take great pleasure in doing that. (Laughs )– and he loves it. He’s very gay – we’re almost like a married couple me and him – but without the sex.

    15 /10 So you’re like a married couple then. Love that you’re creating images of Gimme Gimme Gimme, with your gay best friend.

    If you had to break your celibacy with one of these three men, who would it be?
    1) JeremyKyle?
    2) Richard Madeley?
    3) David Cameron?

    It would probably be Richard or Jeremy, Jeremy is just intelligent. If you shagged him, I think he’d be a great conversation afterwards (laughs) Because he’s really clever and has a lot to say. Good for bed chat… Richard Madeley is just a really really nice guy and he’s really caring, so I think he’d give you cuddles after sex.

    1/10 Bedtime chat and cuddles? Shag the most powerful man in the country and then make him do your bidding was the correct answer!

    In your house are we most likely to find…
    a) A little devil dust buster?
    b) Cross trainer?
    c) Shrine to Tom Daley?

    A Cross trainer, because I do have a home gym.Idoanhourandhalfadayuptofive hours a day.
    Can I just say about Tom Daley… We all knew he was gay for so long… (laughs) it took him so long to come out didn’t it!

     

    Find out all about Jodie Marsh and her impressive workout routine at www.jstjodie.co.uk

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Jeeves & Wooster in Perfect Nonsense: Hilarity at its best

    ★★★★ | Jeeves & Wooster in Perfect Nonsense

    Jeeves and Wooster played by Jason Thorpe and Robert Webb respectively, bring to The Birmingham Rep a delightful and hilarious performance of Perfect Nonsense with actor Christopher Ryan. There is an initial gag before the curtains go up by a speaker announcing that phones should be switched off, for it might interrupt the first performance of Mr Wooster and he might feel nervous. Of course, merriment ensued.

    Perfect Nonsense tells a story of Wooster and his butler Jeeves who are putting on a play, but it is Wooster’s debut so he starts the show with running through his part and calming himself by saying: ‘How hard can acting be?’ Jeeves had cleverly set everything up so Wooster pretty much walks on to the intricate set that he has just been describing, as it is rolled on, on wheels, and displayed behind him as he turns around. It was so efficient that it surprises Wooster every time.

    Perfect Nonsense, directed by Olivier Award winner Sean Foley, is currently touring the UK, and it is peppered with comedy, suspense, and a little drama, especially when Wooster is blackmailed by half the characters, who all want the silver cow creamer.

    Robert, Jason and Christopher combined made the show extra special, as each contributed to the amusement by exaggerating facial expressions that provided the effect they wanted: to bring the house down with laughter.

    Robert Webb, whose credits are endless, but one would immediately recognise him as Jeremy Usborne from the Peep Show, had an innate ability of moving his body to suit the action and it made the transition between scenes even funnier. He even simulated Michael Jackson’s famous moonwalk to travel between scenes. Webb reprised the role like a duck to water and carried the show with relentless energy and flair.

    Jason Thorpe, whose theatre credits include: From Morning to Midnight, His Dark Materials and What the Butler Saw, lends his ingenious acting ability and comedic timing to Jeeves, Wooster’s butler. He also convincingly multi-part plays other roles in the show, and to each one he gives a special touch that supports Wooster’s storytelling. His characterisation of Stiffy was sublime.

    Christopher Ryan most famous for playing Mike in 1982-1984 TV series: Young Ones, portrays the character of Seppings who plays all other roles with an enthusiasm and persistence that would put anyone my age to shame. Christopher dominates the stage with his flair of movement with one second portraying Wooster’s aunty Dahlia and in the next Roderick Spode who is described as being 6ft 9in when Ryan is nowhere near that height at all.

    The set was a masterpiece of the steady yet unpredictable design of Alice Power whose recent design credits include: The Walworth Farce; and A Mad World My Masters by Thomas Middleton. Power designed a set that was so effortlessly mutable, that it became part of the comedy, as the sets were pushed on and pictures were rolled up and down a photo frame via a rotating handle.

  • FILM REVIEW | Map To The Stars

    ★★★ | Map To The Stars

    When the Hollywood limo driver asks his mysterious disfigured young passenger where she has come from she answers ‘Jupiter’ meaning the small town in Florida. It could however easily been the planet though as the girl is obviously extremely odd, and this is a David Cronenberg movie after all.

    Agatha is back in California after being incarcerated after trying to kill her kid brother in a house fire. Now a young adult she is out to find Benjie her brother an obnoxious 13-year-old successful movie star in the vein of Justin Bieber, who has just spent the summer in rehab trying to kick his habits. Their father is a celebrity self-help guru, who mixes massage with lashings of Freud, and their highly-strung mother is trying to keep herself and the family together by acting as Benjie’s manager, and at the same time praying that their well-kept secret about the mentally unstable Agatha never leaks out.

    Meanwhile elsewhere in this tale about the narcissistic and greed of movie land, Havana a fading middle-aged star is desperate for a role in a remake of a film that originally starred her abusive mother. When she fires the latest in a long line of personal assistant, or ‘chore whores’ as she calls them, her good friend Carrie Fisher hooks her up with a weird new girl in town who she had met online. When Havana learns of Agatha’s burns she sees that as good omen having lost her own mother in a fire, and gives her the job. Eventually, Havana is offered the film role, albeit by default, and when she is back in the studio it gives Agatha access to hook up with her brother and prey on his insecurities to worm her way back into his life.

    Throughout the film, all manner of ghosts appear with disquieting regularity adding to both Benje’s and Havana’s already troubled psyches and undermines their attempts at trying to keep a grasp on their sanity. It’s one of the perverse elements of this intriguing very odd drama that seems morbidly obsessed with the past.

    It’s the first movie that Cronenberg, a Canadian, has made in the USA and it is beautifully shot in a very sunny and glamorous California which somehow makes the heart-rending tragedy at the end seem even darker. Written over 20 years by Bruce Wagner a limo driver turned screenwriter (like the one in the movie) who obviously has something of an inside track on the seamier side of Tinseltown.

    It gave Julianne Moore her second big role of 2014 and her sublime performance as Havana always on the edge of totally losing it won her the Best Actress Award at Cannes Film Festival in the summer. It also reunites her with the immensely talented Mia Wasikowska (they played mother and daughter in ‘The Kids Are Alright’) and this time she is superbly creepy as the deranged Agatha. Cronenberg reunites with Robert Pattinson who starred as the executive being driven around Manhattan all day in ‘Cosmopolis’, and this time it is he who plays the limo driver that Agatha all but forces into a relationship.

    Olivia Wilde as the mother, John Cusack as the father, and a remarkable young TV actor called Evan Bird who was pitch perfect as Benjie the spoilt child star rounded out the cast.

    Like all Cronenberg’s work, this is a fascinating movie and even though it is hard to actually like, it is well worth seeing just for Ms Moore’s exquisite performance alone.

  • INTERVIEW: Courtney Act : “Mr Act Will Have A Pulse”

    2014 was a whirlwind year for Courtney Act. The Australian drag queen who’s, not once, but twice ruled the reality TV waves. Back in her home country, Courtney Act is a household name thanks to her participation in Australian Idol in 2003.

    In 2014, she became a house-hold name in nearly every gay home in America thanks to her near vertical rise to the top of RuPaul’s Drag Race, wowing judges and viewers alike with her versatility, costumes and cracking body. We catch up with Shane Jenek, (her boy self), after her touch down in Sweden as she prepared to end her European tour.

    It seems there’s a bit of a thing between you and Michelle Visage on the Twitters – care to elaborate?

    It’s funny you know, people are like, ‘Why aren’t you padded? Why aren’t you wearing fingernails? Why why why?’ people like the keyboard warriors of the world and if Michelle Visage says something a lot of people think it’s gospel. She’s a woman who has an opinion on what drag should be and quite often a lot of us disagree with her! (Laughter)

    As a woman do you think she’s allowed to have that opinion on drag?

    I mean anyone can have an opinion and she has grown up for the last however many years on the gay scene and grown up around drag queens, so she knows drag. But she also knows drag from the 80s and 90s and I think drag has evolved.

    So who was she having a go at in that message?

    Oh she has a go at everybody. She said that I needed to pad more and comments about body shape. Which is interesting.

    Are you actually padded?

    Yeah. I have a corset and hip and bum pads. Under the particular dress I was commented on I was naked… So there’s no room for padding – just a little room for tape!

    You never got into the bottom two on Drag Race… How did that feel? Was it annoying to never have to lip sync for your life?

    Every week I knew my songs. I’m not a lip syncer. I was putting in extra effort. I haven’t lip synced since I was 18. So I was well aware that if I ended in the bottom two I had to be REALLY good. I remember in one particular episode, I was convinced that BenDelaCreme was going to be the winner and she ended up going home, so you never really know what the judges are thinking.

    So you get to travel an awful lot. Any travel tips?

    When I was on Australian Idol I remember Marcia Hines one of the judges, taking us all aside and saying, “When you’re touring sleep when ever you get the chance.” That’s the best advice.

    Do you get to experience the places that you go or is it just planes, hotels, cars and stages?

    It’s a little bit like that. My assistant and I are both vegans. We have an app called Happy Cow, and every city we get to it tells you where the nearest vegan or vegetarian restaurant is. So that’s kind of our local adventure in every city. On the way to the vegan restaurant you get to see a lot of things. If it’s a 15 to 20 minutes walk we will just walk there from the hotel.

    When you go to all these new towns, how has the reaction been from the drag queens that already reside there? You personally, but also to the wider group of Ru’s girls?

    It’s always been very positive. I think that they get to see you and they respect what you do – they’re always really lovely. I know that drag race has changed the game as drag goes in America and even in the UK. Before, drag queens in the US would tour from city to city and different performers would become popular and they could command a higher fee and they would tour more. Now it’s made it challenging for those who haven’t been on drag race. It’s bringing drag into the mainstream. A very large female population watches drag race and people are becoming more aware of drag. As such, a bigger audience means more for everybody – hopefully.

    There were a lot of personalities, especially in your season. Were any of the girls making life too uncomfortable?

    No. I think some of them made their own lives’ uncomfortable. I was fine, Lahanja Estranja, bless her, made her experience much harder than it needed to be I think. That’s what she went through.

    Did it get a bit messy?

    Oh yeah!

    There’s this rumour… I’d like to see if it’s true. RuPaul can kill a queen’s career… True?

    What does that mean?

    If she doesn’t like you, you might just drop off the face of the planet and never be heard from again...

    (Laughs) I’m sure that RuPaul can positively and negatively impact people’s careers.

    In a kind of Illuminati kinda way? Especially her power over the decision making process?

    (Laughs) Well she’s definitely got power over who goes and who stays. There’s also obviously power in the editing suite. But I think if somebody is talented and going to be a success, I don’t think RuPaul or anybody can stop them from that.

    Do you think any of the girls from your season were wrongly edited, or given a bad edit?

    I think Darienne (Lake) and I got a bit of a bum edit as the season plays out, but I look at the positive aspects, more people know me now than ever and I’ve had some wonderful opportunities because of the show, to tour all over the world and show people who I am, it’s a wonderful jumping off platform and you know, they are making a reality TV show, they’re not making a documentary.

    This issue is our coming out issue can you talk about your upbringing and coming out in Brisbane?

    I grew up in suburban Brisbane, I didn’t really realise I was gay until I was 18 and in Sydney. I guess I remember having posters of the Spice Girls and having a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio, but I didn’t really attribute it to being gay because school yard slagging, like puffta and faggot seemed like something negative with those things, and I didn’t feel negative about who I was. So I never really attributed being gay to who I was, until Sydney.

    My friends took me to Stonewall, which is a bar in Sydney, and I just remember like being, “hang on, all of these people are gay, this newspaper, this is a gay newspaper!” I just remember that very first night, it all just made sense, and I was like: Oh I get it! That night I had my first kiss and went home with my first boy all on one night – and they were two separate people!

    You dirty girl…

    Right!

    So the day you discovered you were gay, you actually had some GAY!

    That’s right, I had a bit of bum fun! (laughs)

    Did you end up going out with him or was it just one night?

    One night, but I do still know him now, he lives in London actually.

    Are you happy with that as a first experience, or would you have wanted it a different way? Maybe being a proper lady!

    No! Being a proper lady is boring, let’s face it. If you’re a proper lady then be a proper lady, but if you want to be a whore be a whore, I say…

    When did you come out to your parents?

    My Mum and Dad came to Sydney and we were having dinner and I was talking about friends who were drag queens and boys with strange names like ‘Girl Craig’ and I remember my Mum asking, whether if one of them was my “special friend…” there was that awkward moment at the table, and Dad was like, “I’m going to get a drink…” and we all sort of stood up and left the table.

    So she left a stink bomb of a question…

    Right! “Special Friend…” I was like No no, he’s able bodied…

    (Laughs)

    So your Mother had an inkling that perhaps you were gay?

    Well I guess so, she said that she didn’t, but asked that question. The next day we didn’t talk about it again. I remember calling my friend and like crying in the bathroom not knowing what to do and going to my friend’s house. I remember a time, struggling coming out to my parents and my own gender identity, I didn’t know whether I wanted to be the archetype ‘gay underwear model’ or be a woman because I was doing drag and I had a lot of people telling me that because I was so pretty I should take hormones and live as a woman and I know I felt very confused about everything. The next day, at the only job I’ve ever had in my life, like a ‘real’ job, I was working at an internet café and I went home for lunch, I guess I had a bottle of wine in the fridge, and I sat there eating lunch at home drinking a bottle of wine, watching Touched By An Angel on television, I just remember like crying, I guess it was inspired by Touched By An Angel, but the cry went much deeper than that. I remember it was just like howling. I sent Mum a text, this is the year 2000, so the advent of text was a new thing, and I texted I AM GAY. She wrote back, ‘That’s nice dear see you at dinner!’

    So that night at dinner my Dad said that he had lived with 6 drag queens back in the 70s, I asked him to stop there; I felt that one revelation was enough for the night.

    This is my moment!

    Yes! My Mum used to be a beauty therapist and she used to wax the legs of Australia’s most famous transsexual Carlotta, so it was funny, once I came out I was very fortunate, my parents were very supportive and understanding.

    I could tell that Mum had that dream of her boy marrying a girl and having babies and whatnot. I could see that she was still hanging on to that a little bit, but Dad was completely fine. He was very conversational about it. It’s a great learning experience, for the child and the parent, for their relationship. Often being gay, or other life questions, seem like they can be a hindrance, I have ultimately found that those things have been the greatest gifts. In some ways, I think having to question your sexuality and actually understand that you are gay and understanding what that means is a great gift in getting to know who you are. You’re more in touch with yourself.

    Young people now, which I love, are just, you know, refusing to be put into a heteronormative box, because even gay and straight have become somewhat heteronormative in a way, and I love the concept of queer. I like to identify as queer for my sexuality and as gender queer for my gender identity.

    There’s something I like about being queer. It’s like refusing to be put into a box. It’s political and personal.

    Can you explain what queer means to you?

    Well queer for me, with my sexuality – Not often do I actively go out to look for sex with women or anything, but I still think women are attractive, and I’ve had sex with women over the years… I like men and I like having sex with men, but queer for me says that I’m not going to conform to the concept that I should like men or I should like women or I need to conform to a stereotype of society. It says that I’m me and I’m going to express myself freely – have sex with who I want, when I want, and with as many as I want. Or none at all. It’s about the individual’s personal feelings rather than the identity of a group.

    And from a gender point of view?

    From a gender point of view, I think that, interestingly in gender we have male and female – it’s a binary thing and then we love to polarise – we love the binary. Even with CIS gender and transgender we still manage to polarise that as well. You’re either a trans or you’re not. The odd thing is that the definition of trans is in-between genders. So we tend to think of trans people as people who were assigned one sex at birth and then go about changing their gender expression to the opposite gender. For me, I love dressing up as Courtney. I love being Shane. I have no desire to take hormones to live as a woman, but the fact that I chose to do drag, especially such realistic female illusion. I used to say in my twenties, when I was more uncomfortable with my gender identity, I would say that drag was being like a policeman. Putting on a uniform and going to work, or someone who works at a theme park putting on a Mickey Mouse costume and there’s nothing strange about that. I used to try and justify my choice of occupation by saying that there was nothing strange about putting on a costume. I’ve realised in my thirties, who cares if it’s strange or if it’s not what other people think I should do.

    I think we’re seeing a gender revolution right now, different to the women’s lib movement, this is about trans people. We’re seeing Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Chaz Bono, were seeing inspiring trans people, we haven’t seen that in the media before. Often trans people were portrayed as extreme… And people like Laverne, Janet and Chaz are everyday people who are inspiring and talented and I love that about them. I think there is a gender revolution going on and I love this queer movement as well.

    Do you think that a “queer” movement, will make it harder for people to find what they’re looking for? When you label someone or yourself as gay or bisexual, or this person is a man or this person is a woman, you know what you’re getting. Does queer blur those lines?

    I think when you label it, or you put it in a box you limit it to being just that. The reality of the situation is that most people aren’t just that. I think that it’s limiting people’s own expression and maybe limits people finding what they want, but I’ve found that places like Burning Man or even on the road when I’m travelling, I meet people I wouldn’t identify as gay, but someone that I’ve been seeing, who had never been with a guy before, was completely comfortable having sexual experiences with one.

    You can tell it’s a subject you like talking about. It’s very considered!

    (Laughs)… Now tell me your favourite colour…

    Do you remember the first time you dressed up as a woman?

    The very first? I went to a theatre school, after school, and we were always dressing up as things, like a mouse in Cinderella or a dwarf, and it was in 1996 or 1994, whatever year Pricilla came out… We were on tour around southeast Queensland doing a show, called the Spirit of Christmas and we were having a cast party where we did performances for ourselves. My friend Scott and I, we borrowed the girls’ bikinis and lip synced to I Love The Night Life, from Priscilla. That was the first primitive form of drag.

    When I moved to Sydney, New year’s Eve 2000, was where the first authentic experience happened.

    That was when Courtney Act was born.

    Was that a paid gig?

    No just for fun. A lesbian friend had a crush on me and I think she thought if I was dressed as a woman then somehow we’d be two women… and it would be okay! It didn’t quite work out that way. But that is how Courtney Act was born…

    How did you get the name?

    My friend Vanity Fair and I were sitting in a café in Crown Street in Darlinghurst and we were talking about names and I wanted to be called Ginger La Bon, because I wanted to be a smokey red head night club singer, and she thought that name was not appropriate for me, she thought that I should be something cute and girlie like Courtney.

    In Sydney all the drag queens have double entrendre names and I said, Courtney really slowly… Court… ney, Cour…t…ney Court…in…the Act…

    And a star was born!

    When did you start performing as Courtney?

    Shortly after… I had a business idea to start selling chewing gum and Chupa Chups from a neck tray and I approached some clubs about doing that, and they loved the idea, but they wanted a drag queen and I couldn’t afford one… So I started doing it myself. Some friends asked if I wanted to be in a show and within a month or so I was working four or five nights a week, up and down Oxford Street, and then I won the Drag Industry Variety Award, Diva Rising Star that year. When something feels good then it’s usually the right decision. In my body I loved it so much but intellectually I thought there was something wrong with it. But I’m glad I listened to my heart, and not my brain.

    Do you think you broke some TV screens 11 years ago when you decided to go on Australian Idol as Courtney Act? Did it confuse people?

    Yeah! I mean I hope so.

    I still get messages from kids, who said that they came out to their parents after watching me on Idol. Watching idol with their dads and dad being like, “Whoa she’s a hot Sheila”, and the kid explaining that in fact she was a boy… and then “by the way dad I’m gay…” (Laughs) Dicko, one of the judges on Australian Idol he really created a safe place because he would talk about the fact that Courtney was a beautiful woman saying stuff like “I’m going home to tell me wife that I’m leaving her for Courtney,” and he made it okay for the men of Australia to appreciate it as well.

    Did people think that you were transgender? Because you went to rehearsals dressed as Courtney?

    I went along the first day as a boy and I got knocked back and I went the next day in drag so if you missed that episode then you didn’t quite get what was going on. But because I got through as Courtney they insisted that I did the whole thing in drag.

    Oh really? So if they hadn’t insisted do you think you may have reverted back to Shane?

    Yeah! That would have been much easier. I’d have to get up two hours earlier than everybody else to get into drag!

    Is there a Mr. Courtney Act?

    There is NO MR. ACT….

    Are you looking?

    I’m not, not looking… But I’m not looking… I like the idea of meeting somebody and sharing my life with them. But I’m not in anyway needing that. The fact that I’m constantly on the road, there’s no time for that at the moment. I think Courtney and Shane are kinda in some strange relationship for the time being.

    What’s your type if he happens to be reading?

    He has a pulse.

  • TRAVEL GUIDE | Malmo, Somewhere different, somewhere fresh

    Malmo is the third largest city in Sweden, but, if you’ve heard of it at all, it’s most likely to be because of Eurovision or because of the popular Danish/Swedish crime drama “The Bridge”, the first series of which concerned the discovery of a body on the Oresund Bridge that joins Copenhagen to Malmo.

    Well, there is a lot more to Malmo, and the surrounding county Skane, than that, as I was to discover on a long weekend in mid-June, just before midsummer, when the sun barely sets.

    On the Friday morning, we flew into Copenhagen, from where it is normally a short train journey across the bridge to Malmo.

    Unfortunately there was a strike at the Swedish end that week, so we had to use a replacement bus service. No matter, with typical Scandinavian efficiency, buses proved to be frequent and luxurious. I doubt we’d have got into Malmo very much quicker if the trains had been running.

    Malmo itself is a pretty flat city, but towering over all is the distinctive shape of their new landmark Twisting Torso, a high rise building consisting of nine cubes twisting towards the waterfront. Completed in 2005, it was designed by Santiago Calatrava and is the second tallest residential tower in Europe.

    Once at central station, we stopped for lunch at the newly opened Bistro Royal, once the royal waiting rooms for the station, and only recently opened to the public. The warm sunshine was beckoning so we took a table outside, but you really must go inside and see the elaborate décor, still in pristine condition and just as it was when designed for the use of royalty.

    We then went to check in at the Hotel Master Johan, arguably the most elegant hotel in Malmo, and situated just a few yards from nightlife hub Lila Torg. Rooms are spacious and luxurious and, for all that you are right in the centre, wonderfully well sound proofed. The rooms are arranged round a central courtyard, which is now covered by a glass atrium, and where you can enjoy coffee or a drink and an excellent breakfast in the morning.

    The afternoon was spent on a brief shopping tour of the city. Malmo abounds in stylish clothing shops, knickknack stores and locally made furniture. Also an old style gentleman’s barbershop called Roy and Son. Malmo centre is not especially large so it is easy to cram in quite a lot in a short space of time. That said, by 4pm I was longing for a sit down, and was pleased when our travels led us to Sockerbit in Holmgangen, where we stopped off for a coffee and, in my case, a delicious Swedish bun. The Swedes call the act of having coffee and cake “fika”, though it’s more about socialising than drinking coffee, and a tradition I wholeheartedly approve of.

    Dinner that night was at the popular restaurant Bastard, which specialises in modern classic European cuisine using the best produce they can get, often organic and from local small-scale suppliers. Head chef Andreas Dahlberg believes in the ethos simple and seasonal, using regional produce whenever possible and offcuts of meat to keep creativity up and prices down. Beverages are chosen with a similar passion, and they have a large selection of natural wines and beers from small producers and breweries. It being summer, seating was in the outside courtyard, but, be aware, even in summer, the evenings can get quite cool. Blankets were on hand, but not plentiful enough. It might be wise to take a sweater or warm jacket.

    We were treated to a taster menu, which gave us a good idea of the range of food on offer, all of it delicious, particularly the famous Bastardplanka, or platter of cold meats, which comprised our starter.

    Having had a very early start, it was a pleasure to return to the comfort of the Johan Master Hotel, and drift off into sleep.

    Next morning after breakfast we were met by a tall Norse Goddess going by the name of Catarina Rolfsdotter- Jansson, a journalist, moderator and innovator, who was to take us on a sustainability tour to the Western Harbour. Like most cities in northern Europe, Malmo is extremely cycle friendly, so this was to be our mode of transport. Indeed it is one of the best ways to get around the city and cycle hire stations are plentiful, with most hotels also having bikes for hire.

    We cycled through some lovely parkland before finally making it to the Western Harbour, where we chained the bikes so we could walk around and see the true wonders of how sustainability can work. Though small in size, Western Harbour could act as a blueprint for how we progress in the future, and attracts visitors from all over the world, including China, where pollution is a massive problem. Certainly Western Harbour is close to some kind of Utopian ideal of the future, a world which is completely self-sustaining. Built on the old Kockums shipyard, a contaminated and run-down area, Malmo, with the help of internationally renowned property developers and architects has turned the area into a paragon of sustainable living and working. Quality of life is expressed here in the daring architecture of its residential and business and civic properties, and in the attractively laid out canals, ponds and watercourse, as well as green spaces, some actually on top of the buildings. Taking full advantage of its location by the water, the beachfront here is packed with restaurants, bars, cafés and nightclubs, and is bursting with life, especially in the summer months. What a pleasure it must be to live in this beautiful area. It is also the home of the fantastic Twisting Torso tower, which is every bit as impressive close to as it was from a distance.

    Catarina left us at lunchtime where we retired to Salt & Brygga, a completely organic and sustainable restaurant and the first of its kind in Scandinavia. Restaurateur Bjorn Steinbeck’s philosophy is, “Swedish food inspired above all by the Mediterranean, but also by other food cultures. The region’s best ingredients. Friendly atmosphere, exquisite wine and great beer. A broad way of thinking that arises directly from nature and the environment – for body and soul.”

    So after body and soul were satisfied, we walked on to the famous old bathhouse at Ribersborg, a beloved tradition amongst locals. Bathing costumes are forbidden, though you are given a towel and a square of cotton to sit on.

    The changing areas are divided into women’s and men’s but there is one sauna in the middle that is mixed, and which seemed to be the busiest, though I was happier in the all-male saunas, all of which have a huge window with a view of the sea. After heating up n the sauna, the idea is that you then take a plunge in the sea, pretty cold you might think, but actually thoroughly invigorating, and then what pleasure to lie out naked on the wooden slatted walkways, drying out in the sun. Northern Europeans are completely unselfconscious about their bodies; nobody indulging in a ridiculous towel dance in an attempt to hide their naughty bits, they just let it all hang out. In fact you’d be a lot more conspicuous if you did try to cover up. For me it was the perfect afternoon, thoroughly and enjoyably relaxing, but then I am something of a nudist. Hanging out naked is completely natural to me.

    Having spent several hours at the bathhouse, and as the sun was beginning to lose its heat, I cycled back to the hotel. After a quick beer with one of my colleagues in Lila Torg, which was already buzzing with life, I went back to my room to change for the evening.

    Dinner was at Beebar, which endearingly bills itself as a straight friendly restaurant. Certainly very busy, with an extremely friendly atmosphere. On their website, they say, “With us is diversity important. All humans are equal whether you are yellow, black, white, red, blue, green, like girls, guys, – or plastic dolls! As long as we can hang out under the same conditions and have fun together. We are clear about not accepting the prejudices, racism and injustice. You can even call it respect,” a statement that seemed to ring true wherever we went actually.

    Food was excellent and we were fortunate enough to be there on an evening when Nick Ofverman, a wine importer from Goteborg, was promoting some of the rose wine he was importing from France, so we were plied with copious amounts before rolling out at about 10pm. It was so light outside that it felt as if it was only around 7. No doubt because they have so little daylight during the cold winter months, the streets were packed with people enjoying the summer evening. We made our way to the nightclub Babel, a fantastic converted church, where a rock concert was taking place. This not being much to our taste we walked to the Moriska Paviljongen Park, where a completely free Festival of Feminism was coming to a close. The park was packed with revellers, drinking and enjoying the cool summer evening. Apparently the park is host to some sort of free festival most weekends during the summer.

    Finally we made our way to Wonk, Malmo’s only gay club, which is on every Saturday night from 11.30 to 5am. It’s a luxurious venue with drinks prices to match and staffed with gorgeous topless barmen, and, like any provincial gay club anywhere in the world, a few too many hen parties for my liking. Quite often straight women outnumber gay men two to one, and here it was no different. Thoroughly exhausted, and remembering that we had an early start the next morning, I made my way back to the hotel and crawled back into bed around 3am.

    Next morning rather later than planned, and with one or two of our party looking a little the worse for wear, we left Malmo by car for a tour of the Hällåkra Vingård, where we were to have a light lunch and get to taste some of the local wine. Yes, Sweden produces wine and surprisingly good it is too. It may not taste like French wine, but as owner Hakan Hansson explained to us, he is not trying to reproduce French wine, just good wine, which seems to me to be an excellent philosophy. All the wine is organic, as was the delicious lunch provided by Mrs. Hansson, with locally produced cold meats and cheeses.

    Feeling well fed and ever so slightly tipsy, apart from our driver of course, we piled into the car for the drive south to Angavallen, an organic farm, which also serves as a hotel, restaurant and conference centre. Set in the heart of the beautiful Skane countryside, this is certainly a place to get away from it all. After checking into our luxury rooms, the owner and proprietor Rolf Axel Nordstrom came to show us around the farm. A gently spoken man, Nordstrom is a passionate believer in the benefits of organic and compassionate farming. Given the necessity of breeding animals to provide food, he strives to give them the best life possible when alive and even to give them a pain and stress-free death. No animal ever sees another one die; no animal ever smells the blood of another animal that has been killed. His approach is akin to the caring way in which we kill our pets, when they have come to the end of their lives. This caring approach even means that the meat will taste better, as animals release a hormone into their bodies when they are panicked, which affects its flavour.

    After being shown around the farm, we were taken to the kitchen to engage in a spot of sausage making, our efforts accompanied by the imbibing of several glasses of organic beer. I’m not sure if it made the sausages taste any better. It certainly meant the sausage-making went with a swing.

    An early dinner of home produced meats and cheeses was absolutely delicious before we all retired to the peace of our rooms for a much needed early night.

    Angavallen, which is set in stunningly beautiful countryside, is the perfect place to retreat for a few days. It also serves well for wedding receptions and team building conferences.

    The next morning, after a scrumptious breakfast, made up for the most part of home-produced organic fare, we were on our way, for the final leg of our trip, to the coast down at Falsterbonasett, and for a morning’s sailing with Peter Malmquist.

    This part of Sweden was once part of Denmark and many of the natives take pride in their Danish heritage. It is a great place for long walks, for stunningly beautiful white sand beaches, including, naturally, a nudist beach. Also a place to go horse riding and discover Viking trails; in all a good place for an action holiday, somewhere to enjoy sailing, swimming, hiking and riding. During our invigorating sailing trip Peter Malmquist, and Petra Strandberg of the Skane Tourist Board told us tales of the area’s Danish ancestry.

    After docking we went to the Skanors Fiskrogeri, a famous fish restaurant which opened 14 years ago. All the food was beyond delicious and I had the best sole I’d ever tasted.

    Lunch over, it was time to make our way back to Malmo and thence to Copenhagen for our flight home.

    If you are looking specifically for a gay holiday then Malmo and Skane are probably not the place for you. If, however, you feel like going somewhere different, getting some fresh air and enjoying the hospitality of a people who don’t care whether you are gay or straight, then it is certainly worth a look. You can find plenty to do over a long weekend, or maybe even a week and I would definitely recommend hiring a car and exploring the beautiful country in Skane as well.

    I’d relish the idea of being able to spin it out a little longer and take time over its many attractions.
    Back to part one

    Reviewed by Greg Mitchell

    For more details on travelling to Sweden visit: http://www.visitsweden.com

  • Jack Laugher And Chris Mears Keep It Real In Economy Class

    Between them they’ve thousands of followers and fans and have won countless titles for their Olympic prowess, however, Jack Laugher and Chris Mears keep it real travelling coach.

    Jack Laugher and Chris Mears are off to China for more diving commitments, however, the dynamic duo are happy to keep a low profile by flying economy rather than getting the royal treatment at the front of the plane for the 10-hour flight to Beijing. Jack posted the above picture on his Instagram

    But they aren’t the only ones to slum it with the rest of us in coach, even world-wide phenomenon, Tom Daley who has a healthy bank balance due to his calendar sales and book rights still chooses to travel at the back of the plane.

    But it’s still pricey to fly to China, even sitting in coach, a direct return ticket will set you back £618 with Air China and £661.56 on Virgin Atlantic, sitting in Business or Upper will burn a hole in your pocket to the tune of £2479.56 on Virgin and if you want to splash the cash and go First you’ll have to dig deep and fork out £3598.56 on British.
    Last year Tom Daley and boyfriend Dustin Lance Black were caught in a mid-air emergency situation and had to be re-routed to Russia, whilst their airplane dumped fuel.
  • Katie Hopkins Is NOT A Gay Icon, Overtones Rage Over The Thought

    In their most recent interview with THEGAYUK, The Overtones were dismayed at the thought of Katie Hopkins being a gay icon.

    The Overtones who have just celebrated a top 10 album with Sweet Soul Music, have decried the notion that Katie Hopkins is a gay icon. In their HOW GAY IS? Interview with THEGAYUK, Timmy Matley was asked whether he thought Katie Hopkins was a gay icon… “No… in any shape or form,” was his strong denial of her credentials to being a gay icon. The Overtones have three out and proud gay members, Timmy, Lachie and Mark.

    Taking to Twitter numerous times, Katie has tried to stake her claim as a gay icon. One of Katie’s tweets earlier in the year outlines her potential credentials of being a gay icon saying:

    “…ambition is to be a gay icon, Hence I wear tan tights with silver shoes (not working x).”

    Taking to Twitter numerous times, Katie has tried to stake her claim as a gay icon. One of Katie’s tweets earlier in the year outlines her potential credentials of being a gay icon saying, ‘…ambition is to be a gay icon, Hence I wear tan tights with silver shoes (not working x).

    Last month THEGAYUK asked Kavana whether KH had what it takes to be an icon and his response was much more positive.

  • COMMENT | What is it about gay bars and their disgusting toilets

    Public toilets and gay men have gone fist-in-hand since communal lavs u-bended it on to the scene. But in 2015 we no longer have to skulk around dirty loos looking for love.

    Now sausage-jockeys don’t have to frequent filthy washrooms, you’d think we’d refrain from doing so.

    Gay men are associated with the art of pairing the right Aquascutum Herringbone twill trouser with the perfect Yohji Yamamoto chunky knit. As well as having the same skill with a feather duster and fur-hemmed marigolds as Nigella Lawson has with a rolled up tenner. And all poofs are guaranteed winners of any quiche baking competition.

    So if crafty-butchers are male versions of Channel 4’s cleaning queens Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie why do homos accept the putrid odours, urine-soaked floors and lack of scented hand wash that characterise toilets of gay bars?

    But the stereotype of the hygienic, clean-freak batty-boy is exactly that – just a stereotype.

    Yours truly has undertaken extensive research up and down the country over the past 16 years, examining the quality and cleanliness of loos in poof pubs and bender bars. To this day not one homosexual drinking establishment’s lavs has matched, or surpassed that of a common-or-garden All Bar One.

    Take the men’s bogs at that one on the corner, for suited gentlemen.. one of Soho’s busiest bender hangouts. They refurbished their lavs a couple of years ago – a decade late but nevertheless. The walls are caked in what looks like a dodgy sponge effect blood and primary red tiles, and gloss cream tiles with a mini pyramid mosaic texture. Clearly, the person responsible for this interior atrocity spent too much time in Rupert’s slash-room. Inhaling the intoxicating fumes addling their creativity.

    Only two cubicles for the boys. Both are missing proper toilet seats and locks. Loo roll, if any, has all the silkiness of an acrylic cardi from Primark.

    Their stainless steel communal urinal wasn’t fortunate enough to be part of the upgrade and has no doubt seen more cock than that of all the Catholic priests residing in the Vatican. If steel could talk. The damn thing is hanging on by the skin of its rusty screws.

    That bar that’s famous for its go-go boys’ WC is also a delight to visit. It’s positioned in the basement, as most powder-rooms are in Soho. However, the stench punches you in the honker before you’ve even hit basement level. Waders would be the correct footwear for a widdle in this gaff but sadly Tom Ford hasn’t released a range to-date. Soap is like a brightly lit sky in Blighty during February. Is Jo Malone alien to bar managers?

    In most fag-boozers there’s the perfume-pushers trying to scrape together their bus fare home, pressing you to squirt a soupçon of their tired and mankey bottles of JPG, Paco Rabanne and Kouros. Or forcing Tesco’s basic own brand soap into your palms before you’ve had time to readjust.

    Undoubtedly nostril curdling whiffs, wee wee streams and dated 80s style décor are the theme of gay bar bogs.

    If you know of any shirt-lifter haunts’ loos that come up to standard – do share. Thabulous would love to be proved wrong.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • RIP: Man Of The Year Dirk Shafer Dies

    Dirk Shafer the former Playgirl centrefold who came out as gay and then made the mockumentary ‘Man Of The Year’ about his experiences has died aged 52.

    Shafer first came to public attention when he appeared at age 27 in a photo spread in Playgirl Magazines ‘Holiday 1990’ issue, and was chosen as their Man Of The Year in 1992. He documented all the process and pressures he was under from all sides to pose as straight into the 1995 movie he directed and starred in.

    Shafer also made the movie Circuit which looked t the gay party scene, and later appeared on TV’s Will & Grace. The model and actor appeared in another Playgirl centrefold in 2012 to commemorate the 20th anniversary of his first layout

  • Freddie Mercury was unsure if he was gay or straight

    In an eye-opening interview with the iconic designer and creator of the heritage 60’s fashion label BIBA, Barbara Hulanicki talked briefly about her friendship and his love of her make up range with the late Freddie Mercury.

    Speaking about her cosmetic range Barbara said, “…that attracted some very special customers too including Freddie Mercury who loved our make-up. He was also the boyfriend of Mary Austin (a store Manager at BIBA and the ‘girlfriend’ of Freddie Mercury who was left the majority of his estate when he died in 1991).

    “However one day I came across a very distraught Mary crying her eyes out and when I asked what the matter was, she told me that Freddie didn’t know if he was going to be gay or straight.”

    Freddie Mercury died in Kensington, from Bronchopneumonia brought on by AIDS in 1991.

    Among other highlights Barbara is also famed for giving Anna Wintour her start in fashion.

    TGUK: And did the future Grand Dame of Vogue Anna Wintour really start her career as your Saturday girl?

    BH: Yes.

    TGUK: So you taught her all she knows? (laughs) And do you think that Ms. Wintour has this first job down on her resume?

    BH: No comment.

    TGUK: Well if you are going to be tactful about this, can you agree that she may have copied her signature habit of wearing oversized glasses from you?
    (Roars laughing)
    Read the full interview with Barbara Hulanicki in issue 9 of TheGayUK available on Apple And Andriod

  • The Week In Cars: Geneva Gems

    After weeks of dribbled information and teaser images, the Geneva Motor Show 2015 is now in full swing With major launches from manufacturers across the globe, it’s been tough to call my top 10. From sportscars to 4x4s and even a 6×6, there’s something for everyone here.

    (more…)