Welcome to the Big Gay Glossary. Everything you ever wanted to know about being LGBTQ+. Find out the latest slang, gay terms and queer words and what they mean.
Anal fissures are caused by trauma or injury to the anal canal. This can be through trying to pass large poops or particularly vigorous anal sex. The fissure can cause bleeds, especially when you poop. It’s very uncomfortable. Fissures can usually heal on their own, however, if a fissure lasts longer than six weeks, medicine or surgery may be needed. However, it’s been discovered that injecting botulinum toxin type A (Botox) directly into the sphincter will paralyse it temporarily, which will reduce pain and encourage healing.
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Bi Erasure is a form of erasure directed towards the bisexual community It can take many forms including when society sidelines bisexual stories for gay or lesbian stories.
Bi Erasure is also the ignoring or rewriting of LGBT+ history where bisexual people of note are effectively erased from the LGBT+ movement.
Bi erasure also happens whenever “gay” is used where the subject could also involve bisexual people. For instance, if you use “gay pride” to describe an LGBT+ Pride or “gay marriage” if you mean same-sex marriage, you are effectively erasing bisexual people’s existence.
It can also happen if “straight” or heterosexual relationships are treated as the default in any given situation, which can also be classed as heteronormative.
At its most extreme, bi-erasure happens when someone denies the existence of bisexual people altogether.
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Cottaging is a slang term for sex between, usually, two men in a public space, typically a public toilet. Before same-sex sexual relationships became legal men, who were bisexual or gay had few options on where to have sexual liaisons so would have sex in discreet places, where they wouldn’t be caught. The term dates back to Victorian times when “cottage” referred to a small house or public house.
In the 20th century, public toilets in the UK sometimes took the look of a small cottage, sometimes with a thatched roof.
The sex between men who would frequent a cottage would usually be anonymous. Gloryholes, a hole drilled between stalls in public toilets became a way in which this sex could remain faceless.
Before the rise of gay bars and before homosexuality was legal in the UK, cottages were a way for gay and bisexual men to meet other men.
Cottaging, the act of having sex in a public toilet, is illegal in the United Kingdom under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, and applies to both heterosexual and homosexual acts.
Is cottaging or gay cruising illegal?
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 doesn’t say however that sex in a public place is illegal. Cruising grounds and cottaging are two different spaces. Cruising grounds are defined as open spaces, where men can hook up with men, or straight couples can meet for sex (often referred to as dogging), as long as no members of the public can see you.
You risk being arrested if reported by a member of the public. If this happens you have the right to legal advice from an on-duty solicitor at the police station. If convicted you could be sentenced to 6 months in prison and /or a fine.
A caution or conviction will result in a criminal record for a sexual offence which you will have to disclose in any criminal record checks.
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A condom (male or female) is an artificial barrier which stops bodily fluids from mixing between one person to another during sexual activity. They remain the best way of stopping the spread of various sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
Condoms can be made out of latex, polyurethane or lambskin.
There are female condoms – which come in two types. One which is inserted into the vagina. They can be put inside up to eight hours before sex.
There is also the dental dam, usually a rectangle piece of latex, which covers the vaginal or anal area and acts as a barrier between someone’s mouth and vagina or anus.
And then there are male condoms are put on over the top of an erect penis and act as a barrier between a vagina, anus or mouth. Fluids from the penis are collected inside the tip of the condom.
When used correctly condoms can be the most effective means of stopping sexually transmitted infections.
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Biphobia is hatred directed towards the bisexual community. Similar to homophobia or transphobia however the focus of hatred is focused on bisexuality.
Biphobia can be caused by miseducation or not understanding bisexuality. Biphobia can be perpetrated by heterosexual people as well as those from the LGBT+ community.
Biphobia can come in a number of forms including casual biphobia, bi-erasure as well as all-out biphobia.
An example of casual biophobia can include saying “gay” when you actually mean “same-sex” as it contributes to bi-erasure.
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Bisexuality is a sexual orientation in which those who define themselves as such have a sexual attraction to both the female and male sexes, which can be distinct from the social construction of man and woman, which can be included in the bisexual spectrum.
More recently there has been a move to be more inclusive with the coining of bisexual+ or bi+ which can include gender expressions as well as biological sex, which can come close to pansexuality, in which those who identify as such, do not limit their sexual attraction to gender, biological sex or gender expression.
Bisexual people can be cis-gender, transgender and non-binary/genderfluid.
We asked people who identify as bisexual what bisexuality meant to them.
@star_brow:
Being attracted, sexually and/or romantically, to more than one gender.
Giovanni:
A subtle, nuanced freedom that finds joy and promotes openness
As with any definition of sexuality, what bisexuality means to one person who defines as bisexual may be entirely different to someone else’s definition.
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Asexuality is a term used to describe someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction or desires. However, an asexual person can feel romantic feelings towards others.
Sometimes referred to as the Ace Community.
Asexuality is distinct from, and shouldn’t be confused with those who are celibate or being abstinent. This group of people may still have a sexual attraction but are choosing not to act on their urges.
We asked people who identified as asexual, what it means to them.
James:
“It’s the lack of sexual attraction. The clear difference between aesthetic and romantic attraction is important. Asexuals don’t lack the capability of love. We just don’t need to press naked bodies against each other to express our love.
“Asexuality is a broad spectrum. Some are sex repulsed, others have sex because they enjoy the feeling. Similar to enjoying good food without being hungry. For others, it’s stress relief. It’s disconnected from one’s libido.”
Lisa:
For me its lack of sexual attraction (Asexual) and also lack of romantic attraction (Aromantic). I do experience attraction in other ways – aesthetic for example and I do like hugs. I’m able to form very deep friendships but feel nothing in a sexual or romantic way.
Broadest definition is the lack of experiencing sexual attraction. But the term was made to be appropriated, owned, developed and discarded according to one’s own needs. There is no one asexual experience or type of asexual person
Marion:
A lack of sexual attraction
Alex:
It’s when Sexuality is not directed to anyone or anything. <- that’s for asexuality, not for the asexual spectrum.
As with any definition of sexuality, what asexuality means to one person who defines as asexual may be entirely different to someone else’s definition.
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Anallosexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction. Often used within the asexual community to describe individuals with typical sexual attraction. Some in the asexual community, sometimes referred to as the “ace community” may also use the term “non-asexual”.
Allosexuals can be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
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There is a small but vocal section of society that believes that HIV or AIDS doesn’t exist or believes that it is all a conspiracy. Some accept that HIV exists but that it does not cause AIDS.
There are also some who also reject the use of ARV (antiretroviral therapy) to treat HIV, instead, promoting a raft of unproven treatments such as a daily regime of vitamins, or massages and yoga.
Whilst holistic remedies may have some benefits it is always advised that people living with HIV should talk with their doctors before embarking on any treatment.
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Allies are those people who don’t identify as any part of the LGBT+ community but support the fight for equal rights for those who are in that community.
The efforts of allies along with people within the LGBT+ community have forged near legal equality for LGBT+ people in the UK.
Allies can be friends, family, celebrities and politicians.
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