Whoopsie….
Tag: NSFW
All the latest breaking news on NSFW. Browse THEGAYUK’s complete collection of news, articles and commentary on NSFW.
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LOUIS TOMLINSON: Penis Breaks The Internet
Basically. We’re not going to say too much, but let the visual and Louis’s floppy cock speak for itself.
Louis Tomlinson’s penis has basically broken the internet and us, in one swoop. This is what happens when you don’t wear suitable panties and wear flimsy soccer shorts. (Thank Jeebus for soccer shorts). The One Direction star and his Johnson have racked up an incredible 2 million loops of this vine, posted by Perez Hilton.
We’re now considering his member the fifth member of One Direction, replacing the lovely Zayn.
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Why Do I Get Erections Every Morning? Five things guys should know about their junk
Have you any idea why you always wake up with a woody each morning even when you are alone?
Or do you know if it’s really OK for your penis to curve to the side? If you have answered ‘no’ to both of these then you need to check out this video from Buzzfeed who consulted a doctor to ask the questions that every gay man wants to know the answers too.
As gay men, we usually pride ourselves on having a deep intimate knowledge about the male body. Being men logically holds that we’d know a thing or two about the ins and outs of our own physiology, right? The thing is, though, men are notoriously bad about dealing with basic health needs and a lot of what we assume to be true about our bodies is based on false assumptions.
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INTERVIEW: The Boys Of Bridgend Get Bigger & Better (NSFW)
Bridgend in South Wales seems to be enjoying a bit of a heatwave as I make my way to meet Russ Hughes, the photographer and creator of the Boys of Bridgend for a chat about the upcoming 2016 calendar. Well, it might not be a heatwave but it’s definitely warmer than usual for April and things are about to get a whole lot hotter as he’s promised to bring along one of this year’s new recruits for a chat. There are definitely worse ways to spend an afternoon.
I arrive to catch the tail end of an ongoing shoot, though I seem to have missed the opportunity for naked men with this one. It’s a young woman getting head shots for a portfolio, I’m informed. As she leaves, in walks Rhys, one of the calendars newest recruits who I can only describe as ‘traditionally beautiful’. Even fully dressed you can see that he is in splendid shape with his boyish good looks and cheeky smile. I’m impressed. If this is a taster of what is to come with the new calendar then pulses are set to race the world over.
We sit, drinks are poured and our chat begins. I’m interested to know how the Boys of Bridgend began. Unlike other calendars on the market, the guys who feature here aren’t part of a collective group or team and while some of them have known each other for a long time, the only solid connection that seems to bring them all together is that they all hail from this small Welsh town. So I begin by asking Russ how it all came to be.
“I’m asked on a regular basis to do charity work, be it donating shoots as prizes or shooting charity events, but I wanted to do something more to help, so one day I hit on the idea of a calendar and it all went from there. I’d never done anything like it before and I had no idea about the amount of work that it needed, but once I set my mind to it there was no stopping me. I just had to work out who to shoot, where to shoot, how to fund it and how to get it made on a tiny budget. I also set myself a timescale of 3 months to get it all done. Now that I know what I know, that seems insane, but I went into it a bit naïve and looking for a challenge and I definitely set myself one.”
Russ Hughes/Boys Of Bridgend The 2015 calendar went on to be a big success, selling in over 35 countries, so it seems that it was a challenge that he managed to overcome, but what about the process of making it. How did it get off the ground?
“I’d love to say that it was plain sailing but it seemed like we hit brick walls at every turn. On the day of the very first shoot the model text me to say he was pulling out. I think he’d spent too long overthinking it and had talked himself out of it by the time the shoot day came. We were already miles behind schedule and I was panicking like you wouldn’t believe. I text one of the other guys who finished work and drove over, so we at least got the shoot done, but we were still a guy short. By the time we had completed all 12 shoots we had lost a further 2 guys who then had to be replaced, and we were still behind schedule. Aside from the shoot problems, we also had trouble finding funding to even get it printed. Companies just weren’t interested. In the back of my mind I was worried that I would be left with hundreds of pictures but no calendar to put them in. I ended up paying over half of the printing costs myself just to make sure that it was made and nobody ended up disappointed.”
You’ve been teasing us on social media with snippets from this year’s calendar, which is very obviously different from what we’ve seen before, so what sparked the change?
“There’s a couple of reasons, really, but mostly because of how well the last calendar did. We always thought that we would sell a couple of copies locally, raise some money for the charity and that would be that, but it went down a storm and people were buying it from all over the world. It was obviously a winning formula so changing that this year is a bit of a risky move, but we don’t want to get complacent, either. We did it one way and it worked well, so now we want to test the water and give everyone something different. People who have already bought the calendar already have lots of black and white images of naked men in the Bridgend countryside, so if and when they decide to buy the new calendar we will be giving them something completely different for their money so it won’t seem like they’ve paid for the same thing twice. We’ve put out teasers on Facebook and Twitter which have had a really positive response, which is brilliant, but just like last year, you haven’t seen anything yet. The final calendar images are still under lock and key and have been seen by nobody.”
“Keeping things fresh and new is what we want to do, and we really have changed everything. The theme of the calendar is completely different, we’ve got a bunch of new guys and we’ve also changed the charity we will be supporting this year as well.”
Russ Hughes/Boys Of Bridgend Money raised from the 2015 calendar went on to support the Everyman Appeal, which benefits men who suffer from testicular and prostate cancer, while money from the 2016 calendar will go towards the Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation. How did that partnership come about?
“The guys over at the StandUp Foundation have been amazing. Really, truly amazing. We have had such a great response from fans and we really want to be as interactive as possible, so when work started on the new calendar we put it to our supporters for them to suggest charities that they would like to see us donate to. The response was incredible and there were lots of worthwhile charities thrown into the mix, but the one that came up over and over was the StandUp Foundation, so it was a no brainer for us. We contacted them to explain who we are and what we do and within an hour they were on the phone to us to get it in place and they have been fantastic ever since. The work they do, especially within the LGBT community has been so brilliant and the fact that we can help them is amazing. It’s like we’ve come full circle. It’s no secret that if it weren’t for the LGBT community the first calendar would have been nowhere near the success that it was. They really took us to their hearts and gave us sales all over the world. I love the fact that we can now give back to them in some way by supporting a charity that does so much work, both here in the UK and elsewhere in the world, to tackle homophobia. If we can make one persons’ life a little easier through sales of this calendar then we will have done something worthwhile.”
“It really is an amazing charity,” adds Rhys. “I do a lot of charity work but I’m especially proud to be supporting the StandUp Foundation. What this charity is striving to achieve and already have achieved is a massive boost for not just the youth but people of all ages. No-one should have to grow up being bullied or feeling ashamed. It’s bad enough to witness it let alone being the one on the receiving end of it, so the message the charity is sending out is such an important one. We all need to stand up and hopefully we can encourage more people to acknowledge what is going on and do more to help stop it.”
And it was just those sort of prejudices that put another spanner in the works for the boys this year which could have seen them have to cancel the 2016 calendar altogether.
“Yeah, it was a really sh**y time, actually. After the success of the last calendar we had companies actually approaching us wanting to help fund the next one, which was a big relief for us. When I had a meeting with them to discuss the new theme and charity our biggest sponsor decided to pull out. He didn’t want his company to be seen to be supporting LGBT causes as he thought the association would be detrimental, and so that was that. We didn’t try to persuade him as that’s not the kind of attitude that we want to be associated with, either, so we were happy to part ways but it left us with a big hole to cover our printing costs. We decided to dip our toe into Crowdfunding to see if that would help and luckily we have ourselves some amazing supporters because we hit our target in 8 days. How amazing is that? All our former sponsor did was confirm the fact that we were supporting the right charity this year, and once again the LGTB community came through for us when we really needed it.”
I was keen to know how Rhys, a 24 year old support worker, found himself signing up to appear in the latest calendar. Was there any sort of audition process or did you manage to just win them over with your looks? (Cue lots of blushing)
“I’ll have to leave all the ladies and gentlemen decide about my looks I think. I just saw an advert that was posted way back in January to say they were looking for guys for the new calendar so I thought I would give it a go and sent over some pictures. They asked some questions about me, I think to make sure I would be comfortable getting my kit off, and about my job and age, stuff like that, and then it all sort of went from there. It all happened pretty quickly, really. I’ve done a lot of charity work in the past, though nothing like this, but I am up for anything so I figured I’d give it a go and it’s been great.”
And what about the shoot? You didn’t have to get naked in the great outdoors like last year’s recruits, but how did you find the overall process of it?
“It was actually a really great experience, to be honest. Shooting with the props was really funny. That was probably my favourite part of the shoot because we had a good laugh doing it. Russ helped me to settle in really quickly and we just got in with it. I wasn’t nervous or shy but I wasn’t sure how I would take to doing the poses. When you see photo shoots they always look great but you never realise how awkward it can feel because it’s not something you naturally do, but Russ was happy with what we got so I left feeling confident that it went well.”
All of the guys from this year are being kept firmly under wraps, so has it been difficult to keep the secret about what you’re doing? Does anyone know?
“I checked with Russ and then told my parents, brother and my partner. I think I will probably get a bit of a ribbing from the boys I play football with when they find out, especially when they see some of the shots we took, but they will know it’s for a good cause so it will all be in good fun. My family thought it was hilarious but they’re really proud of me for doing it.”
So what’s next then? Calendar buying time is still a few months away but you’re all still hard at work. What can we expect to see from you over the coming months?
“We don’t want to take anyone or anything for granted. We’re trying really hard to be as interactive as possible and get amongst our followers and supporters, so we’re on Twitter and Facebook every day chatting with people and keeping everyone up to date. It’s important to us that we build connections with people rather than disappear for eight months of the year and then come begging when we have something to sell. We want to be approachable and friendly and not just be salesmen. We’re constantly thinking up ways to bring content to people and we release new teaser images all the time to show people what we’re doing. We’re hoping to be able to get out on the road this summer and go to some local Pride’s so if anyone wants to see us, get in touch. We’ve got a big reveal coming shortly where everyone will finally get to see all the guys from the new calendar for the first time and loads more merchandise coming out as well so if the calendar isn’t enough, you’ll soon be able to buy clothes, keyrings, mugs and loads of other stuff, with money from all sales going to the charity. We’ve also been working on video content, some of which you can see already on YouTube, with more to be released throughout the year. It’s going to be a busy few months. Bigger and Better. That’s what we keep telling everyone.
For more from the boys, check out
www.facebook.com/bridgendboyscalendar
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By Lizzie Twomey
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Top 5 Erotic Games To Play
We thought we’d share some games you could play with your partner or F buddy to get the mood going.
Table of Contents
Looking to find an online gay sex position generator game, check out ours here
Sound of Silence
Taking one of your senses out of the equation can heighten the intensity of touch. Get your partner to put on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones before sensually touching them in whichever way you choose. Temporarily removing sounds can help crank up the sensation of your touch on their skin. If you and your partner are game, you can also experiment with blindfolds as another way of stimulating their senses.
Creative Combinations
Write down, on a separate card for each, ten intercourse positions you like, and a series of timings from 3 minutes up to an hour. Then take it in turns to pull out two cards, one from each pile, to decide how you’ll make love and how long you’ll make it last.
Jigsaw Fantasy
Take a sheet of A4 paper and on it draw a picture of something naughty that you’ve fantasised about doing with your partner. (Don’t worry if you can’t draw!) Cut the paper into sixteen square pieces and hide them around the house. Send your partner hunting for the pieces – you could give them a sexy reward for every one they find. When all sixteen pieces have been discovered, your partner can put the picture together and then act out the fantasy.
The Erotic Audit
One of you lies perfectly still, the other touches from head to toe, covering every inch, no missing areas. The receiver murmurs numbers – from 1 to 5 where 1 is good and 5 is amazing – to reflect what feels best… what to do less of… what to do more of… what to keep doing more and more and more.
Choosing His Spot
A game just for him. He chooses three sensitive parts of his body – His partner creates a love experience using only those three spots and no other.
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Robbie Williams: Will My Penis Break The Internet
Move over Kardashian… Williams’ is on the prowl to break the internet…
It almost seems like a distant memory – that time Kim broke the internet by sitting on it… TBH we were more excited by the men who tried to imitate… Now Robbie William’s is in on the act. The Let Me Entertain You singer took to Twitter to ask his fans whether his bell end could break the internet… The tweet managed to rack up 2353 retweets, despite having 2.4 million followers.
SEE THE PICTURE CLICK HERE
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How To Get FIFTY PERCENT More Blowjobs This Year
4 Ways To Increase The Number of Blow Jobs You Receive This Year By 50%
(C) BIGSTOCK Don’t let the holiday decorations and music playing in the shops fool you boys–despite what you may have heard, it’s definitely not the season of giving.
At least it shouldn’t be where blowjobs are concerned.
This season it’s all about receiving and if you’d like to send 2014 out with a bang, and make it the year you received 50% more blowjobs than last year, read on.
Use your words…or your sounds.
Asking for a blowjob is quite annoying and boring, isn’t it? In dreamland, all of our partners would eagerly approach us on their own, begging for the opportunity to go downtown, however this is reality, so when they don’t demand go down we are left miffed AND bj-less. Lose lose. However, there are ways to verbally express your desires that don’t involve an awkward “Babe, can you…” because heaven knows, that is not sexy. It’s all about the delivery and it’s like the old saying goes you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Rather than complaining that your partner doesn’t go down on you enough, make sure he feels like the most amazing oral magician on the occasions when he does head south. Get really, really excited about it, and make sure he knows that he is making you feel incredible. Use those vocal cords of yours and show him versus straight up telling him that he sucks like a champ and you’d like more of that on the daily, please and thank you.
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Some men are surprisingly insecure about their oral skills and seem to buckle under the pressure of getting their partner off. A bit of reassurance from you that what he’s doing is working will prevent him from shying away from oral sex and will kick his nerves to the curb.
Go Where the (New) Men Are
If you’re single and looking to increase the amount of blowjobs you get this year, you’ve got to figure out where the boys are and don’t stay in one spot. Don’t go to the same neighborhood bar where everyone knows your name and where you’ve probably already hooked up with every attractive guy anyway. This is your chance to break out of your normal routine and meet loads of men you might not have otherwise. While I still think it’s important to be selective with your time and your penis, the name of the game is more blowjobs, and you’ve got to play smart. When you do go out, take time to make yourself look and smell as attractive as possible. No self-respecting man is going to want to put his mouth on you if you look like you can’t be bothered to bathe or put together an appropriate outfit. Oral sex is more intimate than just a casual makeout session, you’ve got to make sure that you’re in tip top shape, so to speak.
Have a Plan
Picture this, you’re chatting up a cute guy in the corner of the bar and it’s clear that things are getting steamy. You’d both like to take your private party elsewhere but can’t decide-his place or yours? Which one is closer, should you google map it? Is his roommate home? Oh crap, your bedroom is a mess, you can’t possibly go to your house and you both don’t want to spring for a hotel room….and on and on, until the half-erections you were both packing have faded away completely, and you find yourself resorting to exchanging numbers hoping to meetup next weekend. Yeah right. What is that noise my friends?
The sad sound of a missed bj opportunity. Look at that! You’ve bored your penises to death.
This is why it’s so crucial to have a plan when you’re on the blowjob prowl. When you hit the clubs and bars, make sure you know exactly what you’ll want to do and where you’ll want to go if you find someone to hook-up with. If your plan is to bring a guy back to your house, make sure it’s not in complete shambles–put the dishes in the sink, change your sheets and clean the bathroom. If you prefer not to bring men back to your place, check the area for hotels, or, as a last resort if you really want to get scrappy with it, make sure your car is clean.
You’ve got to capitalize on that blessed moment when you both realize that you’ll be seeing each other naked soon, don’t ruin it with boring logistics.
Give First, Receive Second (Hopefully)
You know all of those slightly hippie sayings like “What you put out into the universe is what you will get back”, well, I’m fairly certain they (who is they, anyway?) are referring to things like positive energy and gratitude and all of that, but why can’t we apply the same rationale to blowjobs?
If you’re in a relationship, take the initiative and start giving more blowjobs to your partner than ever before. I’d be willing to bet that your receiving rate will skyrocket as well, tenfold!
If you’re single, don’t be shy when it comes to oral sex. By surprising a casual hook-up with a little oral play, chances are he’ll repay you with your morning wood in his mouth come sunrise.
Don’t view this as giving only with the hopes of receiving. Is it a bit selfish? Maybe. But you’re also making someone you care about or are interested in feel good, and that should make you happy as well. Not as happy as a BJ, but you know what I mean.
Go get em gents. Tis the season, afterall.
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We’re asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you’re feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time.
It’s quick and easy to sign up and you’ll only have to do it once.
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How To Introduce Sex Toys To The Bedroom
Reckon bringing up a problem child, or even bringing up a campylobacter-riddled cactus curry, would be less tough than bringing up the topic of saucy gadgets with your boyf?! Here are some easy tips to get the conversation started while sidestepping the awks, choose a suitable toy once you’ve had the talks, then use it together so successfully that your gent will soon be a proud loyalty cardholder at Toys ‘R’ Ass.
BRINGING UP THE SUBJECT
Take him down the aisle: Durex lubricants are stocked in most of the larger supermarkets, including Tesco and Sainsbury’s, where they can be found in the healthcare and bathroom section. Some branches also sell Durex sex accessories, such as the Little Devil Vibrating Cock Ring. When grabbing groceries with your chap, steer him towards the soaps and shower gels, and engineer a casual encounter with the slippery stuff, saying something like “I saw Durex sex toys being sold at the supermarket the other day – amazing what you can pick up with your bacon and baked beans these days! Mind you, I suppose stuff that’s a bit of fun like that is pretty normal for most people these days…”
Depending on your bloke’s reaction, the chat may lead to you conveniently chucking a little something in the trolley there and then, to “give it a whirl for a giggle”. However, if you don’t sense he feels comfortable nattering about nookie in public, you can bring the topic back up once you’re at home, knowing that 1) You’ve shown him that a well known, safe, reputable brand like Durex makes sex toys – a name he’ll be reassuringly familiar with; and 2) You’ve warmed him to the idea of sex toys being normal, non-freaky things that are so commonly used and accepted that they can even be bought in Asda.
If you guys do your food shopping online, try adding a toy to the basket ‘by accident’. When it happens to ‘mistakenly’ rock up in your delivery, you may as well see if it gets your rocks off, right..?
Open sesame: Alternatively, you could open a discussion by mentioning that you saw an advert for toys on the telly; watched a programme where they were mentioned; or read a related piece in a magazine or online. If you don’t want to put your gent on the spot, you could email him a link to a blog, quiz, website or article asking “What do you reckon to this? Could be interesting to try?”, then talk about things in more detail later once he’s had time to mull over his thoughts and is prepared for the conversation.
Re-ass-sure his ass!: Many lads worry about their partners wanting to try toys because they presume it means there’s something wrong or substandard about their sexual technique, that they’re not sufficiently pleasing their partner ‘without help’, or that they’re about to be somehow replaced by a piece of plastic or play second fiddle to a rubbery ring.
Reassure your fella that you want to enhance your relationship, and add an extra layer of enjoyment to the great raunchiness you’re both already revelling in. Try saying something along the lines of “I feel really confident and relaxed with you, and we gel so well together… so maybe you’d fancy trying something new with me?”, which frames the suggestion of experimentation as a privilege he should be flattered by, and a sign of trust. Be clear that you think playing with toys together will be an intimate experience you’ll share as a couple, rather than a situation in which he’ll lose your attention because you’re fixated on the feeling you’re getting from a gadget. Try presenting it as an adventure that can up his pleasure, not just yours – for example, by saying “I get the feeling you really like it when we X, so I was wondering if you might like me to treat you to Y toy to try with me?”
CHOOSING TOYS
Perform an ex-orcism: You might already own sex toys. But start your collection afresh with your man. Not only does this allow you to choose items that specifically suit you both, but it removes the icky idea that you might have used existing toys with a previous partner. No-one wants to play with a haunted haul that was once covered with an ex’s ectoplasm!
Start small: Word to the wise – if your chap is nervy about trying toys, presenting him with a butt plug the size of a garden gnome may have him running for the hills and away from thrills! For beginners, look for non-intimidating, classy-looking items that don’t have dimensions usually used by estate agents describing mansion gardens.
He’s got that vibe: The most obvious toys for gay guys to use are butt plugs and anal beads – for rear-ly good stimulation, and cock rings like: Durex Play ULTRA Pleasure Ring (£7.99) which help fellas gain and maintain stronger erections, and can also vibrate thrillingly against the wearer’s scrotum and/or a partner’s body during penetration. However, don’t automatically discount the idea of a little bullet vibrator like Durex Play Delight Vibrating Bullet (£9.99) or even a slightly larger, ergonomically shaped vibe such as Durex Play Dream Sensual Massager (£37.99). Not only do they feel amazing humming against the dick, ball-sack, and perineum, but they’re also fantastic for body massage.
Smooth some scented oil or lube over your lover’s back, and tease out the knots in their shoulders and neck. This is a superbly chilled out, laid back, delicious way to take your babe to toyland for the first time; move the buzz down down down to XXX Town only once they’re happily acquainted with the sensation.
Make a wishlist: Try setting up a private wishlist at an online erotic store, sending your partner an e-invite to join it, and taking it in turn to add items. This is a great way of learning about what your lover might like to sample, and gives him a chance to peruse the offerings in his own quiet time.
The nose knows: Alternatively, if you’d rather go to a store together to choose a plaything, which can be as hilarious, seductive or subtle a trip as you both want it to be – testing vibrators against your nose is a good indicator of how strong they will feel down below. You might look like a clown, but that can help break any tension – and it is certainly better than splashing your cash on some super-powered dick drill you later discover you need a hard hat, earplugs, and steel toe-capped boots to operate.
USING TOYS
Use a dom:… a condom, that is. If you’re inserting any toys inside one another, pop a rubber over the top first for convenient cleanup. Fear of mess can cause distress, but French letters plus lotsa lube can take that worry away. Make sure you change the Johnny in between uses if you’re both sharing the same gadget to avoid any cross-contamination issues with butt bacteria.
Bum note: Don’t pop anything up anyone’s bum-ba-lao that you’re not absolutely certain you can get out again – a trip to A&E to fish a pocket rocket out of your partner’s southerly sex socket is not going to endear him to the concept of playthings! Make sure any anal toys you use have a flared base or a sturdy handle to make sure they’re not going to barge their way too far up the anal canal.
Give it a rest: Make sure you mix a few “All Boy, No Toy” sex sessions into your repertoire. Even if you and your beau are both really getting off on your new gizmos, leave the bits ‘n’ bobs in the box now and again to regularly prove to him that he still blows your socks off and takes your quivering legs with ‘em all on his own.
Follow Alix on Twitter for sauciness, silliness, sexiness and naughty natterings: @AlixFox
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ADVICE | How To Last Longer In Bed
It’s happened to the best of us. At the worst of times.
You’re halfway through your performance with a totally hot guy you just met, when without warning your little Mister calls time. Yes, you’ve spaffed your load without warning. The little swimmers are taking a curtain call as you mutter “I’m so sorry, i.. i…” (I mean, what do you say as he’s riving in agony with man juice in his eye….. ‘It Burrrrrnnnns’)
Here are our top tips to making sure you last longer in the sack.
1) Homework
The best part of this lesson is that you get to do homework and as much of it as you like. A wank is a key element to why many men prematurely blow their loads. Why? Well if you train yourself to cum quite quickly when you’re alone, the chances are that you will do exactly the same when you’re with a partner. So next time your palm is dating your dick, work your way up to 15 minutes, 20 minutes and for those who have cocks of rock try 30 minutes.
(C) BIGSTOCK Try bringing yourself to the point of no return and stopping. Giving yourself a moment to relax and start again.
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WATCH | STEVE GRAND Naked Ice Bucket Challenge
So this is it… The moment the gay web has been waiting for. Steve Grand’s All American Ice Bucket Challenge.
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Not Cumming Out – Delayed Ejaculation
Guys have it hard. Or at least when sex isn’t explosive life can get a bit challenging. Physical intimacy, including penetration, is so enjoyable but when something goes wrong then it can really go wrong.
You cum too quickly. You can’t get it up. You get it up but it goes down again. You meet a guy you fancy but can’t figure out if he is top or bottom. Then it turns out that you both want the same and neither are prepared to try the other position. He wants to do something you haven’t heard of much less tried.
But all of the above are more or less well known about. And you’d probably be able to find a mate to talk about it. But there is one sexual issue that remains in the closet – delayed ejaculation (DE). DE is exactly what it says on the label. You have great difficulty in cumming. But why on earth is that a problem? It must be great to be able to shag for hours and not cum. To be able to take on one guy after another. Actually, it’s not all that it’s cut out to be.
Our fundamental sexual desire is to ejaculate – to spread our seeds. If we don’t achieve that or it takes too long to do so we can get depressed. If we’re in and out of a hole for too long both our cock and partner will get sore. And the likelihood is that he has already cum, maybe even twice. If that’s the case he may begin to feel that there is something wrong with him. Or you begin to think that there is something fundamentally wrong with your techniques and wonder why you can never cum with a guy who really turns you on. In fact DE can cause considerable anxiety, distress and loss of sexual confidence.
It is estimated that between 2 to 10 percent of men can suffer DE at some time of their lives and there seems to be a trend of it happening more as you get older. It has also been recently observed in men who watch a lot of porn. This could be because you are used to the stimulation that your hand gives or it may be because you are ‘trained’ to react to screen pictures. Because this isn’t a common disorder there is little research on the issue and so practitioners struggle to understand the issues and to help those affected.
There are believed to be a number of potential causes. Some men have always suffered from DE from puberty. This can mean that they think it normal until they come upon a partner who questions their sexual abilities. DE may be tied in with a strict upbringing, a family who didn’t talk about sex and men who control their lives for a number of reasons but there could be an issue around sexuality acceptance.
The second type of DE is situation induced. You can be happy squirting your spunk everywhere and then you suddenly find you can’t. There could be a number of reasons. For example how a partner makes you feel; stress at work; fear of penetrating either the anus or a mouth or something happened to you while you were having sex.
Can it be cured? That depends. In general yes it can be helped but it could mean that you have to retrain your sexual techniques. You may even have to abstain from sex for a period of time including wanking off. The best thing to do is talk either to your GP if you think you have a problem or a counsellor.
But whatever you do don’t suffer alone. Finding out that you are not the only one with delayed ejaculation is the first step. Accepting that you have a problem is the next. And doing something about it could change your life. Don’t worry GPs and therapists know about delayed ejaculation – you are not alone. Cum out and tell someone.
by Owen Redahan
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