THEGAYUK welcomes back Durex sex educator and wondrously witty wordsmith Alix Fox to discuss timeless sex moves that are almost guaranteed to make the earth move for you – whether you like to give or receive (or both) between the sheets. ** You should be over the age of 18 to access this article**
Ess-eee-ex (I mean ‘S.E.X.’, not ‘Essex’) is a very personal thing.
Everyone has different tastes: what one guy thinks is fan-freakin-tastic will leave another feeling like he’d rather have sea urchins fired at his bollo*ks from a bazooka. Heck, there are probably even some pain fiends out there who dream about having sea urchins fired at their bollo*ks from a bazooka.
But while there is no one bedroom-based behaviour that absolutely everybody universally loves, there are certain erotic moves that have become famous for their ability to make so many of us – ‘pitchers’ and ‘catchers’ alike – think “Mamma mia, this is making me feel chuffing brilliant; more overflowing with Wonder than Stevie’s entire family tree; like a blister full of liquid bliss that’s just about to pop; and so awesomely orgasmic that my head is spinning like a top (even if I’m a bottom!).”
Join me in celebrating four iconic sex positions that are all fairly simple and straightforward, yet infinitely sensual and satisfying…
This week, sexual health expert Jose Perez de la Cruz, answers a reader’s question about a potential new boyfriend, who is HIV positive and is worried about having a sexual relationship with him.
Hey there,
I’ve met a really cute guy recently at a bar and we made out and he’s incredibly sexy and we had a great connection.
We didn’t have sex, but the next day he texted me to say he was HIV+.
Now I’m really nervous, I want to see him again, but I’m worried I might catch HIV if we have sex. Also long term, I like having sex unprotected, (only in a long-term) but that’s not going to be possible ever is it?
Should I call it off?
Hello,
There is certainly no need to call off what could potentially be a very satisfying relationship, solely based on the fact that he is HIV positive.
The risk of contracting HIV from someone during unprotected sex is determined by a number of factors. If an HIV positive individual is on medication, and his viral load is undetectable then there is very little chance of catching HIV from them, though, we cannot say it is impossible. An undetectable viral load means that the quantity of active HIV in a person’s bloodstream is so low that it is in fact almost zero. Conversely, the higher the viral load the more likely and indeed the easier it is to catch HIV.
Therefore, I think the best thing to do prior to engaging in any sexual intercourse of any kind is to establish whether he is undetectable or not.
Even if he isn’t there is always the option of using condoms. I understand that many people don’t like them, but if you choose to have unprotected sex with anyone, at least use a good water based lubricant.
To a degree lube also reduces the risk of catching HIV as it reduces the internal trauma which commonly occurs during sex.
The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.
“The guy gets all the bump, the more he can score. A girl can do the same, yet you call her a whore” sang Christina Aguilera way back in her early noughties classic, “Can’t Hold Us Down”.
She was singing about something still very relevant today, the fact women are shamed for sleeping with more than one person, while men are celebrated for doing the exact same thing. However, is this a problem in the gay community? YouTube sensation John Bird thinks so as shown in his latest video, ‘Gay Boy Problems – Slut Shaming’.
Within the video, Bird calls out the gay community for the fact that we are, in all actuality, a little bit self-loathing. Why are we so obsessed with what is going on in everyone else’s bed? Why are we so hung up on judging each other whilst we go on about equality and pride?
“There is nothing wrong with having a bit of fun if you are single” the vlogger argues and he has a point, there isn’t! If you can pull, then why not? A marginalised group should know better than to marginalise each other.
The average dog will cause nearly 2,000 arguments between its owners during its lifetime, a study has revealed.
A new study shows ‘man’s best friend’ can also be his worst enemy as it triggers up to three rows every single day.
That’s the equivalent of 156 quarrels every year – or 1,997 over the average pooch’s life expectancy of 12.8 years.
And the spats range from disagreeing about who should take the dog for a walk, feeding them too many treats and what to do with them when going away.
Nikki Sellers, Head of Pet Insurance at esure, said: “Owning a dog is not that dissimilar to having a baby.
“Round the clock care and responsibility throughout a dog’s life can become tiresome for any pet owner but should never be overlooked.
“Maintaining a dog’s physical health through exercise plus regular stimulation to avoid them running riot around the house should at least help avoid some arguments.
“A healthier dog may also lead to fewer costly trips to the vet too but for advice on how to look after a dog properly, owners should seek professional help.
“esure pet insurance customers can call its 24-hour ‘Health and Wellbeing’ line where veterinary professionals are available to offer advice and tips on all aspects of pets’ health.”
The poll suggests that a quarter of owners regularly argue about where the dog should be allowed to go in the house – in particular whether they should be able to go on the beds, upstairs or on the sofa.
A fifth of owners frequently argue about whose turn it is to clean up the mess in the back garden, while one in 10 disagree about who should clear up the carpets should they be soiled.
But disciplining the dog is one of the biggest causes of arguments – as 18 per cent of couples often fall out because one is accused of being too harsh on the dog.
A further 15 per cent of families often row about who should be training the dog, while one in 10 people get annoyed if the dog is ‘humanised’.
Other arguments about the pooch include who chose to buy it in the first place and how much has been spent on the dog.
They’re also likely to cause unrest if they damage the children’s toys or chew the family’s shoe collection.
The study shows that while the majority of family arguments are more likely to be about the children than the family pet, 14 per cent of owners reckon they row about the dog MORE than their children.
Incredibly, in 17 per cent of households the dog disputes have got so bad that one member of the family has slept in the spare room, while a quarter of those polled have been known to storm off after things got too heated.
In fact, 26 per cent of dog owners have at some point considered getting rid of their beloved pooch after a particularly bad barney.
TOP 20 DOG DISPUTES
What to do with the dog when going away on holiday / for the weekend
The fact the dog hasn’t been walked / who should walk it
Whether the dog should be allowed on the beds
Whether the dog should be allowed upstairs
Who should clean up the mess in the back garden
One of you is being too harsh on the dog
One of you lets the dog onto the sofa
How much you have spent on the dog
Training the dog
Someone feeds the dog from the table
Who should babysit / look after the dog for you
Grooming the dog
Damage has been caused to the house by the dog
Who chose to buy the dog in the first place
Who should clear up the mess when the dog goes to the toilet on the carpet
Who should clear up the mess when the dog is sick on the carpet
One of you insists on treating them like a human
One of you lets them into a room of the house they are not normally allowed into
I wanna hold your hand (and other straight jealousy)
As the title says, it’s a simple request; all I want to do is hold a hand, specifically my partner’s hand. We’ve been together for 8 years and I’ve never openly held his hand or been overly affectionate in public, and a video posted recently of two men in Russia just walking down the street holding hands painfully illustrates the kind of reactions that we would get. Obviously, the UK is far more liberal than Russia when it comes to gay rights, but I would still feel nervous about what could potentially happen.
I consider myself a strong guy mentally, and if someone is openly homophobic I will stand up for myself, but it’s the subtle type of reactions that bother me more. The whispers and stares from people we would get for doing something so benign that straight people don’t even have to think about it. I do feel a pang of sadness and jealousy when I’m walking along with my partner and see couples holding hands or being affectionate, completely oblivious to the world around them, thinking of nothing more than their eventual destination or what’s for dinner that night.
Straight people take for granted how easy it is for them to display affection towards their significant other, and while there may be a very small minority of people who might stare at a straight couple, if they are of, say different races or different physicality, it is nowhere near the level of hostility a gay couple would endure.
I also very rarely visit “straight” nightclubs on a Friday or Saturday because it only takes one person saying something to ruin a night out. I feel constantly on edge, always wary of the kind of people who are about and how they might react to me, and obviously, with alcohol involved, this becomes more of a minefield. Most straight people can go into a nightclub and have a great night out without the fear of either having something said or worse, being attacked. Yes it can happen that anyone can get into an incident in a nightclub, but as a gay person, the odds are stacked far more against me.
I’m lucky in the fact that I’ve only ever experienced a few incidences of outright homophobic verbal abuse, and I’ve never been physically attacked and I consider myself fortuitous that the most I’ll get from friends and work colleagues would be considered nothing more than friendly banter and natural curiosity to me. However, what is friendly banter to me, could be incredibly hurtful to someone else and in the younger LGBT population especially, who may still be struggling with their identity this can be potentially dangerous.
To some straight people reading this, they may question why I would be jealous of them, and this is where the problem lies, they don’t see a problem. They don’t have the need to see an issue, something I and the LGBT community don’t have the luxury of.
The reason we have Pride events is so that as a community we can feel safe enough to be ourselves, where the worst we’ll get is from a few sad people in anoraks quoting bible verses at us, who are easily ignored. I’ve had it asked to me and others many times “Why do you have pride marches?” And my usual reaction is “be thankful you don’t need one”. The fact we have had to fight to be given basic rights, and it took until the 21st century to even be allowed to have a civil partnership shows there it still a long way to go to change people’s attitudes. We simply haven’t come far enough to stop the fight for our right to exist and to be recognised.
But what can be done, should all gay couples just hold hands and sod the reactions? Sadly this isn’t as easy as it sounds. In some places in the UK this could potentially result in a violent reaction. LGBT people have been attacked and or killed, and over 35,000 incidences of homophobic hate crimes go unreported every year. Does this illustrate that the LGBT community are so used to these kind of reactions that they consider it pointless to report it any more, or is there something of a more deeply disturbing trend when it comes to homophobic abuse, in that LGBT people don’t feel anything would be done even if it was reported and would that then result in worse treatment from the perpetrator after they got their slap on the wrist. Statistics show that fewer than 1 in 10 homophobic hate crimes that are actually reported lead to a conviction.
Times they are a changing though, and the general overall attitude towards gay people is positive and accepting, and as people become more educated about the LGBT community the more people will not think twice about seeing two men holding hands.
So I’m out in a gay club, dancing the night away in my best new loafers. I’ve a wine in my right hand but no man in my left. Someone get the violins out. It’s Saturday night and the only love in my life is Sauvignon Blanc from the Marlborough estate. But as if Paul Daniel’s just waved his magic wand, a potential date is suddenly upon me like a fly on sh*t.
The music is loud and as my friends will inform you, my hearing is not the best. Many a time I have the television on so loud, the neighbours from two doors down bang away on my front door. Anyway, I struggle to hear this potential beau’s name but my inhibitions have been lost in a bottle of Blossom Hill. So I go straight in for a kiss.
And in the profound words of Cher, it really is in his kiss. Instantly I feel a connection and I swoon. Maybe my long line of frog kissing is finally over, I excitedly decide. From this moment on, we spend the entire evening locked lipped and it reiterates my feelings that no more amphibians may cross my luscious lips.
The end of the evening draws near and I sense mini me getting a little aroused. He thinks he’s going to be getting some action from this nameless man. My future beau walks to his taxi and I presumptuously attempt to join him inside the taxi. But to mine and minime’s dismay, he puts his hand up to signal no entry. Instead he slips me his phone number on a piece of paper. Not what I’d hoped he’d be slipping me tonight.
I wake up with a start and quickly roll over, anticipating a Sunday morning session. My hopes are instantly dashed when my memory kicks in and I remember I ended up in bed alone. I pick my phone up, hazy eyed. I have a text from an unknown number. It’s from a bloke called Simon. Oh my god, so that was his name! The stark realisation hits me that my last attempt at romance was with that tosser from Mulberry. Also called Simon. Not a good omen but I remind myself of my religious upbringing and I promise not to judge a man by his name.
We arrange a date for the following and he suggests a restaurant in Uxbridge, close to where he lives. Judgmental Mark kicks in and I decide he doesn’t have a lot going for him. One, his name is Simon and two, he lives in Uxbridge. But the memory of my Christian upbringing kicks in again, I will not sit in judgment.
The following evening arrives and I find myself with sweaty palms and shallow breathing to deal with. I don’t know what I’m more nervous about, being in Uxbridge town centre or going on a date. And then something hits me like a wet cod around my boat race. I haven’t a clue what Simon looks like as I was so intoxicated, that part of my memory seems to have been erased by Sauvignon.
Fingers crossed he’s not a dog. I walk in and I see a figure stand and wave. I’m no intellectual giant but I conclude this must be him. Not bad on the eye. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.
The conversation flows between us but unfortunately for my date, so is the Sauvignon blanc. As each glass glides down, my voice raises a decibel. We laugh, we talk, we eat. I really think it’s gone well. This is my future prince. Frogs are a distant memory. Boy, am I delusional. As I ask, “when shall we see each other next?”, he replies deadpan, “once was enough!”
Open mouthed, I get deserted by him at the table. Note to self, avoid Simons.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
Many couples enjoy the pleasure and intimacy of erotic massages as foreplay. As well as relaxing the recipient, a strong, explorative, erotic massage can also have real, noticeable benefits for the giver and for the couple as a whole. Want to give your lover some truly unforgettable bodywork?
Then read on.
Four reasons to start sex with a massage
• It strips away boundaries in a natural, unhurried way, building a real connection and singularity between both lovers.
• It brings the recipient’s senses to life, as they begin to react and respond to the touch of the masseuse.
• It gives the masseuse a better understanding of their lover’s pleasure zones, allowing them to see what they do and do not respond to. This will later inform love-making techniques, rhythms and positions.
• The recipient’s whole body loosens up, with different parts connecting in ways that are not always possible. This builds towards stronger, longer orgasms.
Five steps to the perfect erotic massage
• Before
It is vital that you create the best possible atmosphere for your love-making. Be sure you are in a
quiet space that will be yours and yours alone for at least two hours. Switch off all phones and
minimise overhead light, using candles if possible. Incense and low music are also helpful additions.
• To begin
Ask your lover to lay face-down on the bed, table, couch or whatever comfortable platform you have setup for their massage. Check that they are relaxed and not strained in their position. Then place your hands on the centre of their back and feel their breathing pattern. Take a moment to acclimatise yours with theirs, until you are both breathing in and out at the same pace.
• Gentle touches and slow strokes
Your first strokes should be tender, using only your fingertips to allow your lover’s senses to know that pleasure is coming. Next, place some warmed massage oil on your hand and slowly rub it all over their body, from the top of their back to the heels of their feet. Tell your lover that they can move and express themselves however they like, to guide you and to give them a sense of both pleasure and mutual control.
• Rollover
When you have rubbed the oil sensually and slowly all over your lover, ask them to roll over. Now apply the oil to their front in the same measured strokes. Once they are fully relaxed, move your hands softly to their genitalia. Rub the oil around the outskirts of their sexual organ, teasing it into life, slow and sure, before moving in to the centre. Their arousal should be visible and audible, showing you when the time is right to move on to sex.
• After sex
When both lovers have climaxed, spoon together for a long moment, allowing your heartbeats and breathing to connect and synchronise once again. This will give a complete wholeness to your lovemaking. An erotic massage is a powerful, beautiful and, most of all, pleasurable way to begin sex. Try this technique for yourself.
When you think of Grindr, a long -term relationship might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but a recent survey by the tech company reveals that nearly 50% of guys have found love online.
Nearly 50% of Grindr users have said that they have or had found long-term relationships on the social app that revolutionised the gay dating scene.
47% of 2500 men surveyed said that they had found loving, long-term relationships on the app. A statement from the app’s blog said,
“A whopping 47% of survey respondents said that they had found long-term friendships on Grindr – which goes to show that there are plenty of guys out there who aren’t just looking for Mr. “Right Now.”
In a recent review of gay dating apps by THEGAYUK’s dating guru Scott Sammons said,
“Love it or hate it the fact is that most (emphasis on most, but not all) gay men have been on it at some point over the last six or seven years. I gave it up for two years when I was with my boyfriend and didn’t miss it but now that I’m single again it does become a little habit,
“On the ‘looking for love’ scale, if you go onto it with low expectations when it does happen (and I know that it has) then it’s a pleasant surprise.”
When you think of Grindr, a long -term relationship might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but a recent survey by the tech company reveals that nearly 50% of guys have found love online.
Nearly 50% of Grindr users have said that they have or had found long-term relationships on the social app that revolutionised the gay dating scene.
47% of 2500 men surveyed said that they had found loving, long-term relationships on the app. A statement from the app’s blog said,
“A whopping 47% of survey respondents said that they had found long-term friendships on Grindr – which goes to show that there are plenty of guys out there who aren’t just looking for Mr. “Right Now.”
In a recent review of gay dating apps by THEGAYUK’s dating guru Scott Sammons said,
“Love it or hate it the fact is that most (emphasis on most, but not all) gay men have been on it at some point over the last six or seven years. I gave it up for two years when I was with my boyfriend and didn’t miss it but now that I’m single again it does become a little habit,
“On the ‘looking for love’ scale, if you go onto it with low expectations when it does happen (and I know that it has) then it’s a pleasant surprise.”
At the risk of sounding like Peter Kaye – do you remember the time when you had to call people on the landline and arrange to meet in the pub to catch up on all the gossip?
When the phone was generally situated in the hallway, attached to the wall or placed on a telephone table and you had to close the sitting room door so your parents couldn’t hear your intentions. Harking back to a time before the internet and smart phones where we actually had to engage in the art of conversation.
It sounds positively Dickensian nowadays but we actually had to talk to each other be that via the telephone, or meeting and enjoying the company of others.
They have blamed the smoking ban for the demise of pubs and clubs, but I would have to attribute it to the technological age. Back in the day we had to make arrangements, there were relays of phone calls ensuring everyone knew where and when to meet. Thursday was the pre-amble to the weekend, where you would meet up at the local gay bar for a chat, and plan the weekend’s events. You had to describe your weekend outfit in graphic detail, no photographs available. No facebook, no twitter, no apps, no way of finding anything out apart from word of mouth. Now in the age of instant messaging, we seem to have lost the art of socialising.
Online you can chat, arrange to meet, have full blown virtual relationships. I remember when you actually had to get out there, speak to people, engage in face to face contact. On screen, you are missing out on a look, a touch, the chance to experience another person’s charisma. Have we lost the ability to do this?
I am not a technophobe and have reluctantly engaged in this new world of virtual friendships and break into a cold sweat at the thought of being unable to log into facebook for more than an hour, however it brought it home when I found myself and my partner sitting in the same room having an online conversation over a post, we were less than a metre apart. Is this a reflection of how far we have come, we now only communicate via memes and messages of less than 140 characters.
Whilst I am not looking back to the pre-mobile age looking through rose tinted glasses, I am questioning whether or not the next generation will actually have the ability to converse without the use of hashtags and emojis. If meeting in the local gay bar will be a thing of the past and we all Skype from home drinking our own gin and never have to leave the comfort of our own underpants.
Embracing technology does not mean we have to lose the art of socialising. However, I must now text my partner who is currently triple screening (phone, tablet and TV) to see if we can meet in the sitting room later and ignore each other for another few hours.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
Recently the opportunity came up to review gay dating apps. Now being a single pringle ready to mingle I thought to myself, why not? I need to get my lazy butt back out there and this seemed like my kind of thing and I do enjoy a good app (who doesn’t??).
Well I can safely say I’ve been on a little journey boys and girls and let me tell you it’s a maze of nonsense out there.
Ranging from the apps that Cupid would be proud of to the apps that try and fail miserably there are literally countless numbers of apps out there for you to chose from. I’ve gone with a small selection of the ones most people appear to have heard of (or that came recommended to me).
Let’s begin with the usual suspects. Number 1, good old Grindr…
Grindr Xtra
Now if you haven’t heard of Grindr then where have you been for the last five years or so? Love it or hate it the fact is that most (emphasis on most, but not all) gay men have been on it at some point over the last six or seven years. I gave it up for two years when I was with my boyfriend and didn’t miss it but now that I’m single again it does become a little habit. Good or bad, I’ll let you decide.
Grindr sells itself as “the best gay dating app” and yes as far as technology goes it is the simpler of the apps out there. It simply shows 1 profile picture for you, shows you people around you and lets you input basic information about who you are and what you are looking for. I currently pay for Grindr “xtra” (because I’m sad like that) and it basically gets you unlimited blocking capability and a much larger list of guys to view. I’m undecided if it’s worth paying the extra few pounds for. It could be to remove the ridiculous amount of adverts that are on the free version.
Now because it is location based it’s also very handy for those that want “a quick hook up” and nothing more. Hence there are a lot of guys on there that are after one thing and one thing only. On the ‘looking for love’ scale, if you go onto it with low expectations when it does happen (and I know that it has) then it’s a pleasant surprise. Otherwise, I’d recommend it for visiting new areas and seeing who is about or for those days when a booty call is really all you want (and don’t deny that you have those days, because we all know that you do!).
POF
For months I have resisted the urge to join Plenty of Fish because, rightly or wrongly, I saw this type of site as the last chance saloon of singledom. And I don’t think I’m quite there yet… (Famous last words). Now I fully accept that was being prejudiced having that view and I took the plunge some months ago and signed myself up with an account. I’m all about challenging perceptions and all that so why not start with my own? I have to say that I was surprised a little with what you are given. Yes, it’s the same faces on here as there is on Grindr but actually, this is geared up more to those just looking about to see who wants to connect.
Yes, you do get the people that start off all sweet and lovely and then declare that they are horny and “can our date be moved forward to right now”, but actually that’s just men. We can’t really blame an app for what an arse your average man can be.
But actually, if you’re looking for something different then POF could be for you. Unfortunately, the app does load other users that are near you so if you happen to check it while travelling about you may have to disappoint some people that message you thinking you are local when in fact you are just travelling through.
If you are concerned like I was that being on there is “sad” or not something to admit in public then I would challenge you do try it out. You might be surprised at what you see. Again, the app is only as good as what you put into it. Put rubbish in, get rubbish out.
Tinder
Like POF tinder a simpler app designed to “match” people based on their personalities and likes/dislikes. Tinder asks you to complete a survey and provide as much information about you as possible so that it can create a list of possible matches for you and ask you to “like” or “not quite right” profiles that it presents to you.
The traditional features are all there including location-based searches but like POF there are very little opportunities to declare your sexual preferences or put on your profile that you’re horny. Like POF they are still on there but this app is geared up to be very “blind date” matchmaking.
It sounds cheesy but it really isn’t. I’d recommend checking it out as it’s fairly modern in design, appears to be stable and like POF if you put some real effort in you may be surprised with what you get out.
Jack’d
Jack’d is a really odd app as it is very simple to use, a little more functionality that Grindr does (more pictures for example and a “matching” service) but it’s also very basic, very clunky in places and has a habit of presenting you to a lot (and I do mean a lot) of US-based guys. I’d say out of all of the profiles that messaged me during my time on here a good 50% were “non-UK” based. Which is great if you’re looking for a long distance to marry and move to the states with. But for us lowly average gays it doesn’t really do much for your chances.
It also seemed to struggle with logging in quite a lot (more than Grindr anyway which is saying something). Can you see Willam Belli or another drag queen making a song with a reference to Jack’d? No me neither!
As far as “hook up” usefulness, yes like Grindr it is location based so can show the guys around you it doesn’t really sell itself as a hookup friendly app. You will find the same guys on it mind you. Except on this one its long walks and snuggles and on Grindr its long dicks and group sessions. That’s a massive generalisation but you get the point.
Wapo
“Wapo” (what used to be called Bender before someone cottoned on that it really is a stupidly unwise name) apparently is Spanish for ‘handsome man’. Far be it for me to quote trade descriptions at them as I oversell myself but seriously?
In recent years it’s undergone a major overhaul so that now it’s not bad looking. It gives you more functionality than Grindr (ability to view your profile views for example without having to pay for it) but it is slightly temperamental. Not only in my experience but some of the reviews on the app store also give it a scathing report that it is unstable and not very user friendly. On the upside it does let me detail my height in feet and inches (it’s the small things. Oh and I’m 6 foot 3).
Again, most of the people you’ll find on Grindr or Jack’d you’ll find on Wapo but it does seem to be more of a mixed bag. Worth a look and see what you think. I do however think the name is lame.
Hornet
Now hornet seems to be a mix of all the others. It has a very simple setup like Grindr with some added features liked Jack’d (public and private photos, view tracks, add favourites etc) but isn’t quite as ‘tidy’ or as finely tuned as Grindr. The Hornet app is also geared up for those looking for something more as not once does it ask you your “role” or if you are listed as looking for “hook-ups”.
What I also like about Hornet is that it asks you if you know your HIV status and when you were last checked. You can choose not to provide that information as it’s not mandatory but alongside asking you it also encourages you to find out and get checked. As a promoter of good sexual health, this is a big tick in the box for me. An app that seems to actually care…
Booty call usefulness again depends on your profile. Like the others it is location based so if you are anywhere near another user then you’ll show up and who knows what could happen. It doesn’t appear to offer any sort of “matching” service nor does it offer chances to detail your sexual preferences so in the battle between “sex app” vs “dating app” Horney remains decidedly neutral.
Gaydar
For those guys, that like me had a gaydar profile back in the days when it was just a dating website I couldn’t not mention the app they now have. Given all the changes Gaydar has been through lately the app isn’t bad overall. It is reasonably well designed, clear and easy to understand. It follows the same sort of layout as the website profiles and gives you pretty much all the same information as the full website.
As Gaydar is the longest serving gay dating website that I’m aware of, its ‘looking for love’ factor is quite high. The days of sitting on Gaydar just for the chat rooms are long gone. Having a look around online and talking to other people I get the impression that everyone has a profile on there, but not many people actually use it or update it.
This means that Gaydar does have a chance of helping you find love, little to no chance of finding a hook-up and providing you’re in no hurry to find anyone or get a reply to your messages then this is the app for you.
(After this little exercise I decided to completely delete my profile on there… No real reason other than I very rarely got anything from it and I decided it was the end of an era).
Fitlads
Now I’ve always liked the Fitlads main website. Yes, it is basic but functionality wise it offers a lot and some of the guys on there are a laugh. I’ve had many a good night on Fitlads and made a few online friends from it.
But having said that I wouldn’t recommend the app. It’s very basic, not very stable and makes you want to log on to the website to see what it’s trying to present to you. You can search for members, use your location to find other people, message and post on the forums but is pretty much it. Whereas the mobile web page lets you do much more. I mainly use the mobile web page now, to be honest. I may also be the person that subscribes monthly to get access to the porn videos. Far better than storing them on my laptop. ;o) I’d recommend checking out the website www.fitlads.net as it’s a pretty good, albeit basic, site for meeting guys, getting dates and various other things. I think I bought my first sex toy from the Fitlads shop. For that reason, well that reason and others, it will always have a little soft spot in my heart.
If I was to tell you that I was ever so slightly hairy and fell into the category of “otter” would you be surprised? No? Didn’t think so! Well for those that also love the male form with a little bit of hair (or not) then Scruff is the app for you. It’s got all of the functionality of Grindr and Jack’d and is a little more stable and easy to navigate. It’s a little more complex than Grindr as you can have private “albums” and search internationally for people but essentially it is simple to use. Having been on Scruff during my single years I’ve found it to be very handy for meeting guys that not only like the hairier male form but also some real guys that are looking for something more. I’ve got a couple of dates out of Scruff and while they haven’t developed into a relationship (because not everyone has to fall in love with the first guy they meet) I’ve actually made some good friends from it. And yes I have also had some good times from it. As it is location-based and allows for private album sharing it is very “hook up” friendly. But like all the others, it is an app where what you put in is what you get back out again. If you’re after the more masculine man then Scruff is for you. If not, then I’d stick with Grindr.
Recon.
Now I thought I’d throw this one into the mix purely because of my last article about kink in the media. If you are looking for love on here then you will be hard-pressed to find it but that isn’t to say that you can’t. I know a fair few people that have met their partners in a roundabout way through Recon. So don’t automatically dismiss the idea.
Now that being said, Recon is very much aimed at those with a kinkier side to their personality. From the hardcore through to the milder tame stuff. The app, just like the website, is very geared up at the sexual aspect detailing what you are into, what your body is like and what you can be contacted for. The app allows messages, searching based on your current location, editing your profile and searching for Recon events in your area.
