Such was Bette Midler‘s importance as a star Touchstone Pictures were heavy investors in her film career, she made a raft of films for them. There’s something about Bette in film. She’s camp, loveable and heartfelt in everything she’s appeared in.
CREDIT: Kathclick/Bigstock
Here are our top 7 campest films.
Ruthless People 1986
Ruthless People is the one where she’s married to Danny DeVito, gets kidnapped, loses a tonne of weight, gets her kidnappers to fall in love with her and dress her in wonderful 80’s fashion. Camp camp camp. Look out for the moment she tries to do weights with food cans.
If I had to pick just one of my passions as the favourite it would have to be music. As much as I love chocolate, men and gin, I absolutely live and breathe for music. I can’t go a day without listening to something and people often ridicule me for my encyclopaedic knowledge of pop from the 80s onwards. I can reel off all sorts of facts and statistics, such as chart positions, year of release, who wrote the song, number of weeks at number one, etc.
The 80s and 90s were the decades of my youth so perhaps it makes sense that they are the eras I love most for music. Recently I was creating a playlist of 90s songs to bop along to and came across some forgotten gems from the decade that gave us Spice Girls, Take That version 1, and the Vengaboys. This made me think about other slices of pop perfection that have been forgotten or left in the 90s and led to the creation of this list; 10 forgotten pop gems of the 90s.
1. Donna Lewis – I Love You Always Forever
This song was absolutely huge when it came out in 1996, but I hadn’t heard it for years until recently. Listening today it still sounds fresh and has stood the test of time, as I believe all pop gems should. This one-hit wonder was one of the best songs of the 90s.
2. Tamsin Archer – Sleeping Satellite
What a song! Another one hit wonder that was released in 1992, Tamsin actually went on to win a Brit Award for Best British Breakthrough in 1993 on the back of that song and a moderately successful album. Although still making music today, Tamsin has not been able to achieve chart success since the early 90s.
3. Bran Van 3000 – Drinking in LA
There is something about this song that really gets to me. It’s one of my favourites of all time and is another example of genuinely great music standing the test of time. Still sounding fresh 15 years later, Bran Van 3000 were sadly another one-hit-wonder. Do you see a pattern developing here? Drinking in LA originally only reached number 36 in the charts but after being featured on an advert it was re-released and got to number 3. Thank goodness for that, otherwise, the masses may never have heard this amazing track.
4. New Radicals – You Get What You Give
This amazing, but short-lived band released “You Get What You Give” in 1999 and it became a massive hit. At the time I remember someone saying to me that in 20 years’ time that song would be classed as a classic. Fast forward to 15 years later and although an often forgotten song I do feel it is a classic and imagine that many people listening to it for the first time in ages would consider it to be one too. I always thought it was a shame the New Radicals broke up after only releasing one song, but lead singer Gregg Alexander has since written for Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Melanie C, Texas, and… umm… Geri Halliwell. When you look at the list of songs Gregg Alexander has written you begin to see that we have much to thank him for as a creator of multiple pop gems.
5. Neneh Cherry – Woman
Everyone remembers Neneh for her “Buffalo Stance” or “Manchild”, but it’s “Woman” that I believe is Neneh at her very best. I find myself getting lost in “Woman” each time I listen to it. It’s an aural treat. While on Neneh Cherry I will also give “7 Seconds” a mention as it’s an incredibly good song. In fact, I’d say that everything Neneh Cherry has done is great.
6. Jennifer Paige – Crush
Back to the one-hit wonders, this song was everywhere in the late 90s. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t think that song is brilliant. It’s as simple as that really.
7. BBMAk – Back Here
Now I am aware that “Back Here” was a huge hit in the year 2000, but it was actually first released in 1999 so I’ll include it here. I totally had a crush on BBMak back in the day as they were all rather easy on the eye. However, they also had a decent set of songs andI’m not sure if people realise how successful they were in the early 2000s.
8. Hole – Celebrity Skin
Although only charting at number 19 in the UK, this song was actually quite popular in its day. If you forget about Courtney Love’s craziness it’s plain to see what a fantastic lyricist she is. Many of Hole’s songs were feminist commentaries and the band were consistently critically acclaimed. “Celebrity Skin” makes the list of my favourite songs of all time.
9. P.M. Dawn – Set Adrift on Memory Bliss
There is something about this song that makes it still sound fresh over twenty years later. Sampling “True” by Spandau Ballet, P.M. Dawn made it completely their own song and made that groove a classic all over again.
10. Lisa Loeb – Stay
A beautiful song and one that anyone who has wanted a guy to stay can relate too. I always find myself singing this at the top of my voice when I hear it. Simply brilliant.
Listen to the playlist on Spotify
So there you have it; my top 10 forgotten pop gems of the 90s. I could have included many more songs in the list but thought I’d be decisive and stick to ten. I hope you will rediscover these songs after reading the list. They are rather great.
Here at THEGAYUK.com it has to be said we love drag. It’s an art form that when done well is beyond sublime – some of the best drag roles, however, have been witnessed on film.
UPDATED SEPTEMBER 2020
Here are all the latest drag shows and films that Netflix has to offer for streaming in the UK.
Drag Race star Alyssa Edwards rules the dance school and the night clubs in this warts and all, fly on the wall reality series. Reality TV at its cattiest.
The Death and Life Of Marsha P Johnson, Documentary
Marsha was known as one of the fearless faces of the gay-rights movement. The cops ruled her death a suicide, but her friends aren’t so sure and demand answers.
Hurricane Bianca, From Russia With Hate, Comedy
Bianca Del Rio returns for another filmic outing when she is lured to Russia under false pretences. She soon turns the country up-side-down.
Paris Is Burning, Documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVueHRtpBbg
This Sundance prize-winning documentary is an intimate portrait of 1980’s Harlem drag balls: a world of fierce competition, sustenance, and survival.
Pose
Set in 1987, this drama series follows Blanca as she starts her own house. Starring Billy Porter and Evan Peters. Created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuck and Steven Canals.
RuPaul’s Drag Race
This has pretty much become a staple for Netflix and has helped cement RuPaul as the world’s most bankable Drag Queen. It currently has 12 seasons of the show available to stream. Catch up with all your favourite DQs from Bianca Del Rio to Trixie Mattel.
RuPaul’s Drag Race Untucked
Next from the RuPaul treasure trove of content is Untucked. Although there’s only one season of this, but the reality show gives you the chance to go “backstage” and get all the juicy gossip.
RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars
A chance to catch up with your favourite queens from past seasons. Netflix only carries season 4 of the show, but if you need more RuPaul – then you can always watch RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular.
RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular
What’s camper than Christmas? RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular is. Watch as Latrice Royale, Shangela and Kim Chi battle it out to become the number 1 Christmas queen.
Super Drags
Campy, adult animated series with drag queens saving the gay community for an evil nemesis.
Trixie Mattel Moving Parts
Drag Queen superstar Trixie Mattel allows the cameras into her life to document the highs and lows, post-RPDR in this intimate film.
The history of actors, who don’t identify as trans, playing trans characters is decades old.
The argument against non-trans actors taking these parts have made headlines over and over. Is it right for cis-gender actors to play the parts of trans characters?
Warning this article may contain spoilers to various films.
The 1950s – 70s
Daniel Davis, Glen or Glenda, 1953
Glen or Glenda was released in 1953 starring Ed Wood – who was actually credited as Daniel Davis in this film. It’s a semi-autobiographical film, considered one of the worst films of all time. However, it is considered a plea for tolerance.
Tim Curry, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 1975
Probably one of the most famous films to feature a “sweet transsexual”. TRHPS has gone on to become a cult hit and recently had a remake filmed and it starred Laverne Cox in Tim Curry’s part of Dr Frank N. Furter.
The 1980s – 90s
Michael Caine in Dressed To Kill, 1980
In 1980 Michael Caine played a murderous trans woman in this erotic thriller. For his part in the film, Mr Caine was nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actor.
Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game, 1982
A drama which explores themes of race, gender, nationality and sexuality with the troubles of early 80s Northern Ireland as a backdrop. The trans character in this film is actually one of its great surprises, which is considered a “shocking twist”. Jaye Davidson was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor for the role.
Terrence Stamp in Priscilla Queen of the Desert, 1994
One of the most successful LGBT films of all times was released in 1994 is in the top 40 grossing gay and lesbian films of all times. Terrence Stamp’s Bernadette Bassinger is a carefully studied character, played respectfully.
Mary Sean Young, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, 1994
Possibly one of the most offensive portrayals of a trans person in film – which uses the trans character as a comedy mimic.
Julie Hesmondhalgh in Coronation Street, 1998
Coronation Street made history in 1998 when they introduced the first trans character to a British soap. It wasn’t until 2015 that EastEnders made further history by having a trans actor play a trans character. Julie Hesmondhalgh has been praised for her portrayal of a trans person and she is a huge advocate for the LGBT community. In 2017 she called on TV companies to employ trans people in trans roles.
One of the most tear-jerking LGBT films of all time. Hillary Swank was truly remarkable in the film which was based on the true story of murdered trans man Brandon Teena. The film was nominated for 57 awards and won 37 of them including, Best Actress (Oscars and BAFTAs) for Swank.
The 00s to 10s
John Cameron Mitchell in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 2001
One of the only musical films featuring a trans character in the central role. John Cameron Mitchell wrote and directed this film. It features in the top 100 LGBT films.
Felicity Huffman was widely praised for her role in TransAmercia as a pre-operative male to female transgender person. This was an unusual casting decision as usually male to female trans parts are played by males rather than females.
Rebecca Romijn was another female who was cast in an M2F role in the comedy TV series, Ugly Betty. She appeared midway through the first season and left in season 3.
The 10s to 20s
Chloe Sevigny in Hit And Miss, 2012
Hit And Miss was a TV series which followed the life of a transgender contract killer. It ran for one series.
Jared was awarded an Oscar for his role in Dallas Buyers Club, however, his casting in this film and subsequent acceptance of the Oscar with a full beard was criticised by some in the trans community. Laverne Cox recently said, “as brilliant as Jared Leto is, and all these actors who play trans women, when people who don’t know anything about trans folks and trans women see the very sexy Jared Leto and his beard accepting an Oscar for playing a trans woman, the message that it sends is that trans women are really men”
Jeff Tambor in Transparent, 2014
CREDIT: kathclick-bigstock
Amazon was praised for the production of Transparent starring Jeff Tambor who plays a trans person coming out as trans later in life. The show has won awards and much love from the critics for its sensitive portrayal of a family dealing with and accepting transition.
Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl, 2015
Eddie Redmayne played the part of Lili Elbe, acknowledged as the first trans woman to go through sex reassignment surgery. Despite it being widely praised there was only one Oscar win out of four nominations. The film was banned in a number of countries including Qatar, the UAE, Oman, Kuwait and Malaysia.
He later apologised to the transgender community saying, “To the Trans community. I hear you. It’s wrenching to you see you in this pain. I am glad we are having this conversation. It’s time.”
Have we missed something? Is there an error? Please use the comments below to help expand this article.
Poker is undoubtedly the world’s most popular casino game boasting millions upon millions of players all over the planet. Traditionally the game has been dominated by men and has been less than inclusive to women and the LGBT+ community.
Things are changing though, female participation in the game has increased to around 15% in recent years and poker has also become more inclusive to members of the LGBT+ community. If you’re an avid fan of poker and are looking for an LGBT+ friendly environment to play in this article is for you.
We’ll take a detailed look at some of the world’s most gay-friendly places to play and enjoy poker. If there are any places, we’ve missed out on be sure to let us know in the comments section below.
Sin City as it is known colloquially is the Mecca of world gambling with an abundance of world-class gambling facilities. Poker in Vegas is one of the biggest draws to the 40 million tourists that touch down at McCarran International every year.
There are a huge range of poker tournament types, if you’re looking for a small-stakes cash game, or a high-rollers tournament or an LGBT+ friendly game, then Vegas has you covered. Almost every casino in the city from the well-known Mirage to the lesser-known bars such as Charlie’s run frequent LGBT+ poker events.
On top of that, the city has a thriving LGBT+ community and a dedicated online magazine called Gay Vegas that details all the latest news from the city as well as dates for upcoming events. One of the best places to visit away from the poker table is Freezone.
Situated right in the centre of the action, Freezone is a lively gay bar that regularly plays hosts to some of the biggest names in karaoke and drag. Drinks prices are also much lower than anywhere in Vegas, making it one of the best places to let your hair down and relax.
If you were to ask most British people to name their top three holiday destinations in the USA, chances are Colorado wouldn’t feature very highly. On this side of the pond it is more known for being home to the fictional town of South Park than anything else.
Despite that, it really is one of the most beautiful states in the whole of the USA and is a must-see for any thrill-seeking, natural beauty loving tourist. The world-famous Rocky Mountains can be found in Colorado, just 60 or so miles from Denver.
This stunning mountain range will take your breath away and help you to find a place of inner calm as you bask in the awe of amazing nature. You’ll want to make Denver your base for your stay in Colorado, a city with an intriguing history and a thriving LGBT+ community. Get your poker fill at The Denver Wrangler, a popular gay bar that runs a weekly LGBT+ poker tournament called ‘All in Bitches’ every Monday.
If you haven’t heard of the small town Sitges in Catalonia, think of it as the Brighton of Spain. Its economy is predominantly based on the Pink Pound, with hundreds of thousands of gay tourists flocking from all over Europe to the town every year.
Almost every bar, club and hotel in the town plays a keen role in Sitges’ bustling LGBT+ calendar with parties and events galore planned to entertain the tourists. On top of that you can enjoy some intense poker action in a relaxed, LGBT+ friendly environment.
Poker and most other forms of casino gambling have been legal in Spain for decades and casino gambling is perhaps even more popular in Spain than it is here in the UK.
When you step out of the Hauptbahnhof train station and take your first steps into the thriving metropolis of Berlin, you’ll be struck by the dominating industrial revolution style architecture. Don’t let that fool you into thinking that Berlin’s attitudes to the LGBT+ are as traditional as its buildings.
Berlin is actually one of the most gay-friendly cities in Europe and has a long history of playing host to Europe’s LGBT+ community stretching back to the Victorian Era when bars and clubs throughout the city were regularly played by gay icons such as Marlene Dietrich.
There are so many things to see and do from an LGBT+ perspective in Berlin that it would be foolish to attempt to list them all out here. Heile Welt and SchwuZ are two of the best-known gay bars in the city and there’s also the infamous and exclusive Berghain Club which is well worth a visit for intrepid tourists.
There’s also plenty of poker action to avail of in the city, so once you’ve done sampling the delights of the gay scene get yourself to a casino and pit your wits against some of Berlin’s best players. The Trabrennbahn Mariendorf and Spielbank are two of the best to try out.
When searching for a nudist beach, minds often wander to a warmer, more ‘European’ environment. Where banana hammocks are frequently discarded in favour of sunning those few parts that were left to the imagination. But you don’t have to travel that far to get some sun on your privates at a not-so-private locale, there are plenty of nude beaches right here in the UK.
We have nude beaches in the UK? Really? All I can think about is the amount of unflattering shrinkage that will be occurring. But for those of you who enjoy shedding your clothes and parking your posterior on pebbles WHATEVER the weather, there are a surprising number of nudist beaches right here in the UK for you to explore.
Just remember that not all nudist beaches are gay beaches, and not all gay nudist beaches are ok with other “activities”. A nudist beach is not always an excuse to go dogging.
Studland Bay, Dorset
Let’s start with the most (in)famous nudist beach in the UK. Studland has the image of naked men baked right into the title. The popular beach is packed come summertime, whether or not the weather is hot, so this is not the beach to come to if you’re looking for peace and solitude. The shy nudists out there might be better off trying a different beach if you’re still precarious about stripping off.
Studland Bay has a dedicated gay section which, whether you like it or not, has unsurprisingly become a popular cruising ground. Many voyeurists take to the dunes for a little slap and tickle of the bait and tackle before taking a cheeky skinny dip in the sea.
Brighton Beach, Sussex
Originally opened in 1979, Brighton’s nudist beach is one of the most popular and most accessible nudist beaches in the UK. And since it’s Brighton and involves public nudity, the beach is hugely popular within the gay community. Despite the fact that the beach itself is one of shingle and pebbles, it remains one of the UK’s busiest naturist spots. So be sure to bring flip-flops and particularly comfortable towel if you’re planning on sunning your bits in Brighton.
Porthzennor Cove, Cornwall
If you’re looking for something more secluded, and perhaps a little more comfortable and beach-like, then it’s time to head to Cornwall. Britain’s best beaches are tucked away at its southernmost point, many of which are treacherously difficult to access. The rugged beauty of the West Cornwall coastline makes it ideal for naturists, populated with plenty of little coves and rocks that are perfect for sunbathing in your birthday suit. Though naturism is not officially recognised down there, you’ll be sure to come across many isolated coves whose seclusion makes them well-suited for nudists.
Porthzennor is one of the coastline’s secluded sandy coves that is difficult to get to but ensures that there won’t be any passers-by that will be shocked to see your white bits. The crashing cliffs cleave open to reveal several corners of private sand that make an ideal private beach for two (or more). Just be careful when swimming as there are often strong undertows, and the closest land from there is the USA.
St Osyth, Essex
Nude beaches in Essex just seems to be asking for trouble to me. I mean how many people try to tan in the land of fake tan? But low and behold St Osyth exists, not far from Clacton-on-sea, in the heart of good ole Essex beach country. The beach itself is a bugger to get to, taking about 20 minutes to walk to from the nearest car park. So while this makes access difficult for the more “mature naturist”, it also discourages snoopers.
The beach itself is about 2 miles long and isn’t overlooked, with about 1 or 2 miles of ground between it and the nearest road or track. St Osyth is unofficially divided into three different sections: one for straight naturists, one for men only, and then one populated by sand dunes. The latter part has been known to be something of a “swinging” area, but again that’s all just luck of the draw and who’s around on that day.
Morfa Dyffryn, Wales
Wales?! I know, first Essex now Wales, but hear me out. What the Welsh coast lacks in warmth, it makes up for with incredible landscapes to go with your manscapes (I’m running out of naked men jokes here). The blissful Morfa Dyffryn beach was made an official nudist beach in 2000 after a number of complaints by residents. The council put signposts up earmarking a 1 km space for people to disrobe. It has pristine clear (albeit slightly chilly) waters that are so clean they have earned the highest quality rating by European standards. Waters which are frequented by dolphins and the occasional German nudist. High praise from both.
So at this point in the list, we’ve all but abandoned the idea of a hot sandy beach in favour of whatever else UK beaches have to offer. So in for a penny, in for a pound, and let’s get naked on the brisk beaches of Scotland.
Cleat’s Shore is Scotland’s only official nude beach, and despite that impressive title, it is almost always empty. This makes it a great spot for our first time naturists. You’re far more likely to spend your time conversing with nature rather than other couples. But you won’t be the only nudists on the beach; seals are common in the area, so at least you’ll be skinnier than someone.
Throw in some rock pools, basking sharks and the occasional golden eagle, and Cleat’s Shore is a nude beach with a difference, which, let’s face it, is probably a good thing.
So don’t write off the UK as a great place to strip off. Yes, the water may be colder, but the experience may be all the richer because of it. Have you been to any secret or beautiful nude beaches in the UK? Want to know what it’s like to go on a nudist beach for the first time, our editor tried it out.
We’ve been told that the white stuff is good for us, but something tells me they aren’t talking about your boyfriend’s love milk.
We’ve all been there, on your knees, boyfriend’s face in complete ecstasy as he deposits a load in your mouth and you think – “quick someone pass the water / Dettol or duck, what the hell have I just swallowed?”
Well have no fear my cum guzzling friends, here are 10 ways to make your junk taste as sweet as honey.
1. WASH IT ALL OUT
We hear it all the time… ‘Drink more water!’ It washes out all the pollutants – not only great for your cum’s taste but great for skin, liver and kidneys.
2. POLLUTION
Cut down on the pollutants, these are: Alcohol, caffeine, recreational drugs and nicotine. Want to read more about giving up alcohol? Read our editor’s journey to sobriety.
3. VEGGIE DIET
Makes for good tasting sperm, but there are ones to avoid: Cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, and asparagus all can lead to a bad tasting Oil Of Man.
4. GET FRUITY
Pineapples, papayas, cranberries, melons, mangos, apples, grapes and lemons are all good choices. Fruits that are high in natural sugars help offset the bitter taste of your man chowder.
5. MEATY MEAL
Red meats have to go, I’m sorry, but if you want to keep your boy smiling, then it’s out with meats, like beef, lamb and pork. Swap with good quality, high protein cuts of chicken and turkey.
6. CHEESY
Too many dairy products can make your Man Mayonnaise taste salty, so is best to keep consumption of cheese and milk to a minimum.
7. VAMPIRES
Vampires don’t like garlic, and neither do your two little love-juice making chums. Onions, as well as garlic, are big offenders when it comes to a nasty tasting load, because of their high sulphur content.
8. HERE COMES THE SCIENCE BIT
High chlorophyll is good for tasty cupid’s toothpaste. You can find chlorophyll in parsley, wheatgrass, and celery.
9. TEAS
Ever wondered what extras to put in your Starbuck’s coffee, well Cinnamon is brilliant, as well as other spices such as cardamom.
10. EAT FROM THE EARTH
Junk food makes your Juice taste bad – they’re full of chemicals and preservatives, which pollute your body.
Changes to your food intake will start to have effect on your Love Liquor in around 12 to 24 hours, so keep this in mind; it’s best to have a day of clean livin’ for the rampant dirty night after.
On a more serious note, if your semen smells bad, this might be a sign of infection and you should perhaps visit your GP.
Handy for anyone getting pre-Uni jitters, going to a job interview or wanting an excuse to have more sex!
1) Breathing
It sounds silly as we do it automatically every few seconds of every day. I guess because if we didn’t then we wouldn’t have any stresses at all to worry about! Though I still often hear the phrase, “don’t forget to breath” and why because when we panic we take short little breaths which can make us feel tight and agitated. So when you find yourself in a stressful situation do two things for me. One – Close your eyes. Two – Take in a deep breath to at least the count of six or seven, then control your out-breath to a count of ten or eleven. Then repeat. IF YOU START TO FEEL DIZZY STOP! The closed eyes will allow you to focus on your breath and your breathing will help slow and calm the body allowing you to regroup to tackle any problems.
2) Go for a walk
If you’re in the office then leave your desk and take a walk around the office, be it to the coffee machine or to the toilets. If you’re on a lunch break then try to leave the building. Fresh air and a different surrounding will really help to take away any work-related stresses. Even if you have a deadline approaching a quick five mins walk can help save more time in the long run when you come back refreshed.
3) Hot Bath & Candles
Sounds like a cliché but really can do the trick. I love a hot bath filled with your favourite bath oil or soak. Light a couple of tee lights and turn the lights off. Breath in for six and out for ten, let your mind be free to wander. Breathing. In and out. Stresses of work, relationships, family will try to take over your clearing head as you breathe in and out. In and out. The best advice I was ever given was, when a thought enters your head don’t worry about it appearing, just let it drift away as it drifted in. Breath in and out. Let your thoughts evaporate into the steam of the bath. In and out. You have no worries. You have no stresses. You are enjoying the simplicity of life. Enjoy.
Having yourself available for contact 24hrs a day is not good for your health. You need ‘you time’. Switch off the phone for an hour in the evenings and treat yourself to spending some time with yourself or a loved one. When a phone is switched off you don’t have to worry about life outside of you. If it’s important they can leave a message. I also urge to ditch the phone whilst sleeping. Turn it off and leave in another room, or if it’s your alarm clock then put it as far away from you in the room. Give the brain some time to relax from the positive energies of the phone that still engulf a room when not in use.
5) Drink
Most of us like a good drink now and then. If anything we all think we may drink a bit too much. I know I do, yet I try to convince myself it’s to help me unwind, to help me relax. True, in moderation! If you’re drinking a bottle of wine a night then it’s likely you won’t be getting a good nights sleep and feel groggy in the morning. Tonight why not ditch the bottle and have a peppermint tea instead? It has no caffeine so won’t keep you awake!
Yes, it can be a great relaxant. A good steamy session or even some quality alone time can help muscles to relax and relieve some tension from the body. However please be careful as sex can also cause a lot of stress to your life if you’re having it unprotected and with people you don’t know. A trip to the GUM clinic is not going to help you achieve a more relaxed you!
7) Chocolate
Yes I know I said chocolate and fizzy drinks are bad, but only if they are replacements for your main meals. A little nibble of chocolate (though for me if it’s open, it’s gone!) can give you a little life buzz. It’s these little buzzes that help us to enjoy life.
8) Smiling
It’s true! If you smile you instantly feel better. Go on try it now and prove me wrong. Think of anything that makes you smile. For me there’s a whole bank of ‘smile moments’ in my life, mostly at the expense of family members, sometimes at myself, such as the time I walked into a glass door whilst trying to enter a bar in NY. I may have had a bit to drink and missed the sign that said push but nose-first I left an imprint like an owl does when it’s hit a window at night. My eyes were certainly as wide!
9) Massage
CREDIT: Wavebreakmedia-Depositphotos
Having someone else rub oils all over your body and rub all the built-up tension dirt from inside your muscles away is fantastic. I love it. Then again I just like being touched and It can sometimes be a great lead up to tension-busting tip number 6. However not everyone is as free with their bodies, so if you hate the idea of someone else’s sweaty palms prodding you all over then try this. Take a tennis ball and place it on the back of a chair and roll your back over it. This also works for rolling your feet over it to relieve any foot stresses.
10) Eating
CREDIT: mythja-bigstock
What are you eating and when? Try not to skip meals like breakfast or lunch. Starving the body means it will fight for your attention and when you have a boss fighting for your attention also you don’t need the extra stress of a flagging body! When you do eat try to have something balanced. A good bowl of fruit and cereal for breakfast then a pasta lunch will do you wonders. Don’t replace meals with fizzy drinks or chocolate snacks as they’ll give you a five-minute rush then you’ll feel more tired than you started.
If you can’t have sex with someone else, or that just isn’t yourself then turn to masturbation. There’s a lot of research to show that having a handy shandy can relieve a variety of ailments because it boosts endorphins, reduces stress, improves sleep, improves immune system functioning, and can help with menopausal symptoms.
UK sex therapist Kate Moyle, for LELO told us, “The function of pleasure is to make us feel good; and self-pleasure and masturbation can have positive benefits for our health in a variety of ways, including the release of the hormone oxytocin which can lower cortisol levels, getting to know our bodies better, and building sexual self-confidence.
Nottingham is home to a small but friendly choice of LGBT+ venues, but which one has come out top in the Google reviews?
There are about 3 LGBT+ bars and clubs in Nottingham and further two “gay-friendly” places. They are dotted around the city as Nottingham doesn’t really have a “gay quarter” as other big cities have.
So here are the best and worse gay bars in Nottingham ranked worst to best by Google Map users.
The Lord Roberts 4.3 stars out of 447 reviews
The Lord Roberts is the highest rated LGBT+ friendly pub in Nottingham and it’s true. We can totally vouch for that. The bar staff go out of their way to make you feel welcomed. One reviewer adds, “A welcoming safe venue. Somewhere I always feel welcome, alone or with a group. The landlord welcomes you in as if it’s a friend welcoming you into his home”.
Another added, “Since Craig took over the Lord Roberts it’s become the place to be in Nottingham City Centre.. it’s friendly and welcoming and the place is kept immaculate”.
It has 181 reviews. One reviewer called the New Foresters a “great little gem” while another added that it had “Friendly staff, average price, great crowd and atmosphere”
The Foresters Inn, located on Huntington Street, just behind the Victoria centre is not technically an LGBT+ bar, but it once was and therefore has a little hangover from that period. It raucous and you’ll be able to find cheap drinks and karaoke.
Users suggested that the pub was a “Good place to have a few drinks to start the night off” and had “Nice friendly atmosphere guest beers from local breweries reasonably priced”
Located on Lower Parliament Street, NG One was once Nottingham’s largest LGBT+ club. It has changed its door policy and is now open to anyone, however it does still attract some LGBT+ folk. It has 4 bars and 2 dance floors with a capacity of almost 1000. Open until the early hours every weekend.’
I’ve written a few times now about Pride, the Gay Community and what being LGBTQ+ in the modern world means. Since lockdown, and with most Prides around the world being either cancelled or postponed, this seems like an opportune moment to go back to basics.
From resetting the environment, through to resetting our lives. Lockdown has presented a unique opportunity to reflect and maybe find a better way.
A lack of ‘Pride’ events in the UK reminds us of why they are still important. Yes, they are a celebration, yes, they are a protest, yes, they are ‘messy’, and yes, they are connecting. Pride can be all of those things and whatever else you want it to be if you keep these 5 things in mind.
At Pride events up and down the country I am always learning new things about what is going on with our LGBTQ+ family across the globe and closer to home. Issues with suitable care for LGBTQ+ needs in care homes, issues with gender recognition and support, mental health and support for coming out related challenges – all sorts. We could all just live in our very nice little UK bubble, or we could expand our horizons. Explore worlds outside our own and see the world through other’s eyes. Hear about their world, their lived experiences and maybe do what we can to make it a little easier for them as it has been ‘easier’ for many of us.
People say, “why do we need ‘specialist’ services for LGBT people”, and to them I say I pray you never need to use them. While the challenges our community faces are similar to others, they can often be specifically unique and complex. And if you have ever been in that sort of situation, even remotely or seen it ‘third party’, you would understand immediately why you can’t have a generalist supporting that person, it has to be someone that gets the pain, gets the anguish, and can provide the right support to the right person.
Like it or not you, LGBTQ+ person reading this, enjoy your life today thanks to the work and sacrifice of others. From basic civil rights to allow you to not go to jail for just being you through to fighting stigma and educating the wider public. You can ignore it, you can play it down, you can revel in the ‘safe’ UK and that is your right to do so. But maybe, just maybe, take the opportunity both during pride and outside of it, to go and speak to some of those people that fought for your nice life.
At my own local pride, Essex, their online pride gave a brilliant segment on LGBT history in Chelmsford and Essex. From the first ‘celebrity’ local gay man through the history of the bars and local charities. I learnt more from that reflective video that I ever would have had access to via word of mouth.
Pride is an opportunity to reflect. Give thanks and enjoy all the things that those that came before us could not. They fought for your right to be free, to challenge and to party (or not). Either way it is your choice and that’s a choice you enjoy because of them. So, remembering them through Pride, is the very least we can do.
To challenge is to evolve
At Pride events up and down the country, and indeed some in other countries, if you open yourself up to it you can expand your mind. Challenge your preconceptions of the world. And learn so much more about the human experience.
Personally, I’ve learnt so much about gender, mental health, sexual identity, sexual expression, community, history and the world through the LGBTQ+ community. Every single pride has a community element to it – some more than others. Have you explored these sides of it? The art festival at Brighton, the community networking events at Manchester, the local charity support stands at Essex (to name but a few).
If you want to see new ideas, examples of the challenges we face, and some amazing examples of community and the real face of humanity, go and see some these events, charities and organisations.
Pride brings people together. LGBTQ+ or not, it brings everyone out and raises awareness. We are here, we have a rich and diverse culture, and we are most certainly not going anywhere.
When the Pulse nightclub in Orlando was attacked, I was there at the vigil in Soho. I had not seen the community mobilise so quickly before and had never seen so many people out to remember those we lost outside of pride. That, plus the vigil at Manchester Pride and various other events have been golden examples of how we are very much a community. And like a community it has its problems, it isn’t perfect and there are aspects of it to love and hate. But the fact remains, it is a community. We all have the same things in common and there is more of what unites us, than divides us.
It could be worse
It sounds like one of those hollow statements, but it really is true. Legal rights don’t just appear, they are granted through hard work and determine and as quickly as they can be granted, they can be taken away. We are lucky in the UK because of things like democracy, a free press and an independent judiciary. But not everywhere enjoys that.
While I’m not suggesting the UK is heading towards being the next China, even some of the basic fundamentals that mean nothing to you may mean the world to someone who is being denied them. Someone who, every single moment of every single day, is being reminded that they are not a human in the eyes of the law/their employer/the police etc.
If you can’t picture what that feels like, good. I hope you never have to. But that doesn’t take away from the need to ensure that until we live in that perfect world that we all want, we do what we can to remember, respond and remind everyone that we are here, we are human beings and we will not go back to the days of criminalisation and marginalisation.
I’m not saying you need to be a card carrying, flag waving front and centre member of the community. Instead, make pride what you want of it. A moment of personal reflection and appreciation all the way through to a front and centre card carrying, flag waving member of the community.
It is what you make of it, just be glad that it can be what you make of it.
It’s heatwave central and let’s face it we’re not coping very well.
They’ll talk about it always, the summer of 2018 – well that is until the next freak weatherwave happens… Anyone looking forward to this winter’s Snowmageddon?
Are you having trouble sleeping during the heatwave? Well, Max Wiseberg of HayMax has come up with these five tips to help you drift off to a restful sleep regardless of the heat outside and the pollen count.
Max comments, “Staying cool is the key to a good night’s sleep and if you’re a hay fever sufferer like me, avoiding the pollen too.
And freeze
Try putting your pillowcase in the fridge so that it’s cool! Some people swear by chilling all of their sheets, but that sounds extreme…
Get wet
Shower before bed. A cool shower will help to cool you down from a day in the sun. And it will help to remove pollen from your hair and body.
Jug it
Keep a jug of cool water next to the bed.
Breezy does it
Opening a window at the front and back of the house can provide a cooling breeze. Be sure not to do this until late evening though, because early evening brings high pollen counts as the atmosphere begins to cool and pollen settles back down to the ground.
The nose have it…
Apply an organic, drug-free allergen barrier balm, such as HayMax, to the nostrils and around the bones of the eyes before you go to bed, to block pollen before it enters the body. HayMax has been proven to trap over one-third of pollen grains before they enter the body.”
