Columnist Scott Sammons gives us hard-earned life lessons on how to look sexy for a hot date.
In my last article, I wrote about all the things you can do to look about as sexy as the mud-covered posterior of a Rhino (appreciating that other rhinos may find you/that attractive – each to their own). In this article, however, I’d like to share with you some techniques for how to be sexy on a first date, remembering that sexy is all in the mind so this isn’t just about how to make yourself ‘look sexy’ physically.
Wear something that compliments you
If, like me, you watch Gok Wan and listen to his wise teachings as if he was Jesus Christ reborn (no… just me? OK…) then you’ll know that there are a number of things you can do to dress for you without completely changing your wardrobe and not be you anymore.
What we wear is often a reflection of our personality, so I am not saying that you should go out and buy totally new stuff just to impress a boy – far from it. But instead, wear things that make you feel comfortable and confident. For me personally, I avoid white tops at the moment because all they do is remind me that I’m carrying 2 children and it’s about time the little buggers came out as they have been brewing for almost 4 years now. Therefore I often wear black, with some sort of jacket/overshirt to reflect my body shape and emphasise what I want emphasising. Regardless of your fashion, if you go out in something that you are comfortable with and feel confident/OK in, then you are in a good position to charm/impress your date.
Put on those lucky pants
People say they don’t have lucky pants, but they do. Everyone does. We may not call them lucky pants, we may instead just call them pants that make us feel comfortable or a little bit sexy. For me, it’s a jock. I don’t wear one with the expectation that it will be seen, I’m a ‘top’ after all so all expectations are it’ll be wasted on the majority of people, but when I wear one I feel confident and remotely sexy (emphasis on the word remotely). And then the twins kick and I’m reminded that I’m carrying a male pregnancy. These twins are a wonder to modern science they really are. Also, I’m pretty sure the father owes me A LOT of child maintenance…
I digress. The point is to wear something only you know is there to help remind you that you are sexy, you can feel sexy, and that sexy feeling is more for your benefit than it is theirs. If it benefits them, all the better! Sometimes that sexy feeling is more about how you feel than what you appear to them.
You really do need to ensure good hygiene.
The only thing I’ll mention in terms of physical body appearance is hygiene. There are days when we just feel yucky and no matter what we do we cannot shift it. Having said that there are some basic levels of hygiene that we can all engage with to make a good impression. For example, after a long day, we can often smell a little. Either literally or because it’s been a heavy coffee day and the breath is a little lacking. Small things like a little aftershave or a chewing gum can easily correct it and don’t then play on your, or your dates, minds.
Anyone who says that hygiene isn’t important and people should accept you for who you are, warts n all, is a liar. As human beings, we all expect basic levels of hygiene (with some mitigating circumstances) so if you rock up smelling like a gym bag and have the breath of a 100 a day coffee drinking smoker then don’t be surprised if your date becomes distracted by it.
Do something that makes you feel confident before heading in.
Have you ever watched the Olympics or other sport and noticed that they often come onto the pitch or competition area and are wearing headphones? (Or are you just perving at the tight costumes they wear – I don’t blame you if so). They are listening to something called ‘an anchor’. An anchor is a piece of music (or anything else for that matter) then when they listen to it, it fills them with the desired feeling.
In my case, as I’m the author here so I’m going to make this all about me, I listen to a particular remix of Jessie J’s ‘Domino’. Before going on a night out, a date, a ‘hookup’, or whatever I stick that on and I am instantly taken to a memory of being confident “sexy and free”. Therefore if there is something that would remind you of such a feeling, use it. Confidence is one of the sexiest things around but also one of the most elusive things. We can often let our nerves get the better of us and that awkward nervous energy can start to remove what sexiness exists. As a little trick, therefore, give yourself a little confidence and create your own anchor to help you get it.
Have that one friend that will tell you the truth.
On most occasions when I am going on a date I don’t tell another living soul. It’s just easier that way as it’s fewer people to explain it to if it goes bad and fewer people poking their noses in on ‘how it went’ before it has even finished. Having said that, however, you should have that one friend you can tell and that one friend you ask their opinion on about what to wear etc. From a personal safety point of view, it’s a good idea anyway, but that friend can also say you look good (adds to the confidence) or recommend some changes to make you look even better (also adds to the confidence).
And if they are a particularly good friend they can even calm the nerves and offer a friendly slap round the face if the nerves get too much and you talk yourself out of going.
Above all, do try to enjoy your date. Regardless of everything else. Life is too short to over-analyse your dates and spend your night fretting. What will be, will be. Roll with it and just see what happens.
“Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our greatest source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it” Albus Dumbledore
Hi there! I’m Scott and I write, I promote LGBT rights, I’m an Uncle to 2 amazing nieces and to some I am a nutter…I’m just me, trying to find my way in the universe. Catch me on twitter for more nonsense via twitter.com/i_scotty.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.