THEGAYUK

Category: Review

  • CAR REVIEW | Citroën Berlingo Flair, We Go Berlin’Go’

    CAR REVIEW | Citroën Berlingo Flair, We Go Berlin’Go’

    ★★★★ | Citroën Berlingo Flair

    What Have We Got?

    Here we have Citroën’s third incarnation of the 23-year-old Berlingo. In 23 years there have been just 3 generations of Berlingo. People keep coming back for more and it doesn’t seem that its van derived origins are putting people off.

    So has the Berlingo 3 (B3) got what it took Berlingo 1 (B1) to make it a success? It moved car derived vans up a notch in the UK and the Multispace people carrier became an acceptable mode of transport for us English.

    Driving

    B1 was a soft lolloping cruiser. Never managed to do anything wrong because its engines were never known as rapid units of propulsion. Cruise and comfort was the name of the game. 

    B3 has retained the echos of B1. It rides softly and it will cruise you and 4 others with plenty of space and comfort. Despite the soft ride, it is devoid of excessive body roll. The only roll you seem to get is you in the seats. They cater for all types of body and as a result, they do lack side support for most shapes and sizes.

    The 110PS 1.2 3 cylinder petrol engine manages to carry the boxy body well. The gear change is easy and 3rd 4th are mostly used through town. On the open road, it will reach a comfortable cruising speed easily. Only when a level of urgency is required, does it need a few gears dropped but it will never break your neck in outright performance? 

     

    Inside

    The Berlingo is known for its space. Here B3 demonstrates more luxury over B1 with little exposed paintwork and far better fitments of trim. There are some coloured smatterings around the door cards and the seats are brightly covered. Sound deadening stretches over the boot floor.

    B3 doesn’t improve on the uncovered window trim on the front door. This time it gets bigger with 2 types of weatherstrip mould into one. Like the rear doors, this needs a cover. B1 suffered from this thought on a smaller scale.

    As before, there is the ever useful ‘modutop’ storage facility and panoramic glass roof option. At £750, it is expensive but worth having. 

    Living With It

    If you need to carry people, or boxes or people in boxes, there is very little that can beat the Berlingo. Space requirements will be essential if a Berlingo is to be on your shopping list. And it does this better than almost anything this price and more. It has also managed to retain the original B1 dimensions, give or take a few inches.

    Low boot low lip, rear sliding doors and high driving position make getting in and out of the Berlingo easy. You are making very little compromise with a Berlingo just as long as driving dynamics are not your number one priority.  

    The Verdict

    Now this might come as a surprise, it’s a well-kept secret, I really like Berlingo’s. I’ve nothing but praise for B3. There are a few things it doesn’t do well. These are however down to your driving style over functionality. And if it’s performance and on the edge handling you want, buy a sports car. Berlingo 3 has remained faithful to its original concept. It just got better at it. 

    Berlingo has become more competitive to those ever-popular but space compromised SUV’s. B3 can now come with a host of safety equipment like the active brake, collision alert, park assist and adaptive cruise to name a but a few. It’s everything you’d expect in a car and not a van. The spacious CDV market has evolved.  

    Would I have one? That’s not really a question, is it? Would I bring it indoors on a cold winters night and wrap it under a blanket? What do you think!

    Love

    Ride comfort

    Space

    Standard/available equipment

    Loathe

    Comfortable seats lack side support

    Uncovered front window trim

    Awkward rear door internal handle

    The Lowdown

    Car –  Citroën Berlingo Flair 110PS

    Price – £ 24,295 (as tested)

    MPG – 37.5 – 42.4 mpg (WLTP low/high combined)

    Power –  110PS

    0-62mph –  11.5 seconds

    Top Speed – 109 mph

    Co2 – 119 – 132 (WLTP g/km)

  • Does eDermastamp really work?

    Does eDermastamp really work?

    We sent our Editor and Chief to get stamped! He was very happy with the results.

    It is with some hesitation that I do anything to interfere with my face. Creams yes, pills yes, needles in the face in the name of a more youthful complexion? I wasn’t so sure.

    With images of Kim Kardashian’s blood soak vampire facial in my mind I headed to RUSH in Piccadilly, in my lunch break to meet Epsom Skin Clinic’s senior specialist Charlotte Botting. After asking what I thought my problem areas were, (all of it) she talked through the pros of the eDermastamp treatment and its benefits. I was assured that this was the treatment that would work best for me.

    First off you have to understand why we start to look craggy after the age of thirty. Collagen, your natural youth serum and the compound that gives your skin its natural elasticity stops producing. Collagen’s job is to create mesh like bonds which keep the skin firm and stop it sagging. When we are younger skin is made up of around 80% collagen.

    The eDermastamp process is rather simple I was told. Using a pen like device the specialist literally roles six fine precision needles across your entire face. The 1.5 millimetre needles cause controlled trauma under the skin, stimulating cell proliferation, which results in new collagen formation, the body’s natural healing chemical and youth maker, rushes to the area to repair the damage. It sounds horrific and painful – but in truth it isn’t.

    First off, your face is thoroughly cleansed and carefully numbed with a cooling antiseptic and anesthetic cream. Charlotte, put me at ease with her friendly banter and chat, she tells me that she’s tried all of her treatments, I try to raise my eyebrows to question this (as she looks just incredible and not at all like a reality TV star on some obscure digital channel…), but I find the anesthetic has done its job rendering my eyelids somewhat useless. Then it begins. I brace myself; fear for the worst yet nothing more than a light humming vibrating saunters across my forehead.

    If you’ve had microdermabrasion, this is actually less painful – and MDB isn’t painful at all.

    Carefully my faced is circled, every inch was “stamped”, there were more tender moments, around the nose and above the eyes where it’s a little more uncomfortable, but that’s all it is – discomfort, nothing more that a light scratching, which lasts around 5 seconds.

    After, I’m red and a little puffy, but I’m told this will go away in 24 to 48 hours, which it does. So it would make sense to not have any big events planned in the days after your treatment. As for any discomfort felt in the days following, I would say, no worse than mild sunburn for 24 hours and very mild bruising for up to three days after. Simply put it doesn’t hurt.

    A week after, I start to see the signs that this actually works and within a week and a half I’m looking younger, fresher and tighter, but in a good way – not in a ‘I’m-about-to-appear-in-a-Celebrity-Big-Brother-quick-fill-every-inch-of-my-face-with-filler’ way.

    Six weeks after the treatment and my skin still looked great – and tighter and I didn’t even have to stick to any daily skin regime. It almost felt naughty, like I cheated ten years off.

    Gentle polling of friends and strangers, I ask how old I look – anything from 7 to 10 years younger than I actually am… My lunchtime facelift has been completely successful.

    For £125 this could become my new skincare regime.

    Find out more visit Epsom Skin Clinics or call: 01372 737280

  • Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 11 update: Magic, Twins, Camp and FINALE TEA!!

    Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 11 update: Magic, Twins, Camp and FINALE TEA!!

    Well, it’s been quite the few weeks in the world of Drag Race!! Queen of Queens Rupaul has been the source of many discussions regarding her recent decisions on the show as well as her MET Gala look and recent TV appearances!!

    First the last two episodes: Episode 10.

    One of the best episodes so far, with a good story-line and a great challenge. Oh, and lots of Pit Crew!! Ah, and an appearance of Delta Work! You know: classic Drag Race!

    It was also home of a first: namely Vanjie finally winning a challenge. Okay, a mini challenge, but still.

    The win meant she could select her team for this weeks main challenge: a drag magic show!!

    Sadly, she didn’t use this position to her advantage, as the team she selected … well, let’s just say, sadly, it didn’t do too well. This is sad, as a team consisting out of the more vocal queens of the show (Vanjie, Silky, A’keria and Yvie) could have worked.

    The main reason as to why this happened is soon clear as during creating and rehearsing their show the team doesn’t seem to listen to each other (Silky even falls asleep) and Vanjie is seen trying to please everyone and feeling uncomfortable. Then they have to redo it all again as Team Da Black Magic as they call themselves are told their material is too blue for family VH1 viewing. Despite performing reasonably well, the poor girls didn’t stand a chance.

    The other team (The Mighty Tucks) consisting of Nina, Brooke Lynn and Shuga Cain immediately seems prepared and ready: working on a full back story, a naughty but suitable for family script and an almost professional act. The moment they start you feel as if you’re watching a group of queens who’ve been doing this for years. They could basically tour this act!!

    It is clear that they are this weeks winners.

    After a strong Kaftan based Runway the judges start their critique. It’s easy: They loved The Mighty Tucks and disliked Da Black Magic. Nina rightfully wins this week while Yvie and Silky are especially singled out for respectively their stage presence and their shocking padding, We think we know who will be in the bottom two.

    But … there is a twist: the winning team doesn’t win as a team, with Shuga Cain singled out as a week link and put in the sing of. This is very odd as Shuga proved herself a strong and funny team member and should not have been part of the bottom two.

    As team leader of Da Black Magic it is Vanjie who ends up as second bottom two member and turns out a very strong lip sync.

    It is goodbye to Brooke Lynn.

    Soon after Ru appeared at the MET gala and, sadly her outfit wasn’t to everyone’s taste and caused an absolute storm on the internet with some people actually sending death threats. Now I know fashion and glamour is a serious subject to many, but really?!!

    Ru later explained her decision not to wear drag to Stephen Colbert: she had been lead to believe there would be hundreds of drag queens and had opted to stand out in a different way. To her this outfit was camp. It is a shame, as this being the year drag queens were finally invited and the theme being camp it could have been the perfect year for Ru to once again make history.

    Soon, though, the MET controversy was forgotten as Ru surprised Anne Hathaway live on TV and her response was … interesting to say the least.

    Things became even more heated after episode 11. An episode that saw a few of the eliminated queens return.

    Before that, though there was a return of the “reading and slapping” challenge, which Ru left entirely in the hands of the girls, after he accidentally hit Asia for real last year.

    The girls take full advantage of their chance to hit their colleagues and release some pent up energy.

    Brooke Lynn is the best, using her ballet skills to amp up her comedy, and rightfully won.

    Then the eliminated queens return for a challenge (and a fight.) They are to be made over by the still standing queens. As usual “family resemblance” is the key. Brooke Lynn gets the honor of pairing up the queen with their future sister and on the whole her pairings could work. The only problem seems to be the pairing of Silky and Soju and this played out rather painfully on screen. Feighning friendlyness during the challenge Silky madfe it rather clear in her backstage chat that she didn’t care for Soju as a partner at all. Seeing Soju working hard to do anything to please and help Silky made you feel for her. Come on, the girl tried to work in heels for you despite it hurting and let you work on her face with a sharpy!!

    Meanwhile a few fights about wigs and opinions broke out. But considering all that happened online between the season 11 queens during this seasons broadcast we can expect far worse during the reunion!!

    Judging from what we are shown in the episode the people setting themselves up for fail are Silky and Nina. Silky because she and Soju are just not in that “sisterly vibe” zone as all the other and Nina because, even though her her idea is wonderful: The Rainbow Flag and the Transgender Flag embracing each other, the outfits do not look alike. This is sad because Nina’s idea and look would have been a winner in a “Pride” challenge, but for a twin look it is just not working.
    This all plays out as expected.

    Meanwhile Vanjie is followed throughout the episode and from what we see and hear we’re certain: this will finally be Vanjie’s week. She’s had such a rough time after being brought back from last season. Now, finally her anxiety and hard work will be validated: Vanjie will get her win AT LAST!!

    Come decision time, though, things turn confusing. The runway and judges critiques made it clear: clearly this will be a redemption win for Vanjie. She made Ariel into a virtual twin, so much so you can’t even spot the difference between them at times. This is actual family resemblance!! Adding to this: the look was gorgeous.

    Not that Brooke Lynn didn’t turn it out, but Vanjie’s work was perfection. Seeing the hopeful expectation on Vanjie’s face turn to heartbreak after being denied a win yet again was sad.

    Thankfully Brooke Lynn said she would share her reward (a holiday for two) with her.

    Then the lip-sync: Nina vs Silky. A lot of accusations have been thrown towards Rupaul for putting Nina in the bottom two, but it was clear that though her idea was beautiful, the execution just didn’t look right for this challenge. Then the performance itself: seriously? Silky, after ten weeks of bigging herself up turns out with this? Nina clearly was the best one here performance wise, though only by a small margin.

    The only reason I can see for keeping Silky might be because, at the time, production thought she would be a fan favorite and the face she had thought up a reveal (a small and confusing one, but still) and attempted to use the entire space and tried a split? Yes, grasping at straws here.

    Meh indeed …

    So, this week the finale was recorded, taking six hours in total. Queens old and new walked the red carpet and later the runway. You can see what this seasons queens wore on this Drag Race Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/rupaulsdragrace/?hl=en

    To keep the mystery two exciting crownings were recorded. Soon we will find out which one will be shown when we the audience help Ru decide the official winner. Shockingly WOW had already leaked the official top four earlier this week in their recording announcements, rest assured if you missed it I will not spoil it for you.

    There was some drama with two audience members being evicted for posting live pictures and updates to social media. Having seen some I can reveal one important thing: this time Ru looks absolutely gorgeous!!

  • CAR REVIEW | Seat Tarraco

    CAR REVIEW | Seat Tarraco

    ★★★★  | Seat Tarraco – Seat’s Mover For The People

    What Have We Got?

    We have seen Seat grow in recent years and to here we have Seat’s new 7 seater SUV, the Tarraco, to finish the 3 SUV line up. THEGAYUK were invited to the UK launch to find out more about this newcomer from Seat.

    Built on the multi-talented MQB platform, the Tarraco shares a lot of architecture from the wheels down with the likes of the Audi TT and VW Arteon. So it has sporty and luxury on its side but does this translate in the Spaniard? Above that, and it is all (almost) Seat. THEGAYUK opted for the Xcellence trim 2.0 TSI petrol 4WD to review.

    Driving

    The sheer size of the Tarraco means you need a good strong engine to propel it forward. Thankfully that is what you get with the 2.0 TSI petrol. 320 Ib/ft of torque from lowly 1500rpm makes good progress through the 7 speed DSG gearbox.

    And the figures get better. Considering this is some 29kg lighter than the comparable diesel model and it gives you a 0-60 time of almost 2 seconds quicker and a highly illegal top speed of 131mph.

    You won’t use that performance all the time. The Tarraco rides reasonable hard, giving it a sporty feel but this is somewhat lost because it does do a reasonable job of smoothing out the ruts and bumps in the road. It belies its big 19”

    Inside

    It’s a step up in quality from the Spanish side of the Volkswagen family. And about time, even if it is perhaps just a little ‘too Volkswagen group’ inside. The layout for all the controls follows the VAG ethos of simplicity and that’s no bad thing. Unlike the Spanish Eurovision entries of the past 58 years, so much is played out with Seat’s Mediterranean roots that you feel a slight lack of spice is missing.

    Thankfully what we do get in the Tarraco are rather nicely finished door cards. The architecture gives you fabric inserts, hard and soft plastics and illuminations. And this also stretches to the rear doors, pushing this new SUV from Seat further up quality.

    Living With It

    The Tarraco is being sold as a 7 seater in the UK. They aren’t the worst 3rd row rear seats I’ve climbed into but they certainly aren’t really for adults unless on the pub run. The main problem is the under thigh support that is firmly lacking for those with long adult legs. Thankfully they rear seats are comfortable and supportive in places. 

    Overall the Tarraco offers space and versatility that is part and parcel of larger SUV. And with the all-wheel-drive system, offers the ability to venture further off the beaten track. 

    The Verdict

    Despite what I have said, Seat has taken the MQB-A LWB platform and made it their own. In doing so they have made a quality product that should satisfy most buyers in the large SUV market. And they have all bases covered with 2 and 4 wheel drives, diesels and petrols of varying sizes and their simple and effective line-up. OTR prices start from £28,335 for SE 1.5 petrol to £38,055 for Xcellence Lux 2.0 diesel. There should be a Tarraco for everyone here. 

    Love

    Door architecture

    Range options

    Versatility

    Loathe

    Cramped third row seats

    Harsh ride

    Top models pricey

    The Lowdown

    Car –  Seat Tarraco Xcellence 2.0 TSI 4Drive 190PS DSG

    Price – £ 34,845 (OTR)

    MPG –  38.7 mpg (combined)

    Power – 190ps

    0-62mph –  8 seconds

    Top Speed –  131 mph

    Co2 – 166 (g/km)

  • CAR REVIEW | MG GS Exclusive DCT

    CAR REVIEW | MG GS Exclusive DCT

    ★★★☆☆ | MG GS Exclusive DCT, MG’s Not So Sporting SUV

    What Have We Got?

    Here we have MG’s first SUV offering, the GS, with a 1.5 petrol engine mated to a 7 speed twin-clutch sportronic automatic gearbox. This top of the range MG GS ‘Exclusive’ DCT 5 seater comes in at a reasonable £21,095.

    Does being reasonable mean cheap, and does cheap make it cheerful?

    Driving

    The 166PS 1.5 petrol turbo (the only engine available) does ok, just as long as you don’t rev it too high. It doesn’t encourage high revving. And you shouldn’t have to with maximum torque of 250NM from 1600-4300rpm. That’s a nice spread of power over a relatively wide range. Credit then to the linear surge of power from the turbo.

    What isn’t so good then is the twin clutch gearbox. There are 3 main problems. Firstly, throttle pedal travel is quite short so it makes it jerky to inputs. Secondly, in auto mode, the box likes to change quite high up at around 3000rpm. Thirdly, its kick down changes are met with a surge of around 700 revs and then a kick down. It doesn’t blend very well if you are feeling enthusiastic. 

    That does, however, all change when you select ‘sport’ with the gearstick and use the steering wheel paddles. Up and down changes are immediate and it’s very easy to enjoy the way it drives.

    Inside

    Developed in 2015 and launched in the UK in 2017, it is showing its age in this fast paced market sector. However, it’s not at a total loss, certainly not at this price. The first thing to hit you are the 23 buttons under the 8” infotainment screen that deal with heating and ventilation, volume and home screen. 

    That’s quite a lot, but it is easy to navigate. What isn’t is the air distribution. Press for screen and it goes into full blast for no reason other than that is how it is designed.  In this ‘Exclusive’ trim it also comes with DAB, satnav and all the other things you expect including mirror link for your phone.

    The seats are comfortable if a little too wide and unsupportive in fast corners. The inside is quite nicely put together. It is all a bit cheap with hard plastics throughout but it is also quite sturdy in construction so you shouldn’t be finding anything falling off.

    Living With It

    Despite its relatively compact dimensions, it really is large on the inside. Rear leg room is overly generous even with a tall driver. Boot space does however slightly suffer. The price you pay for that passenger leg room! Loading the boot is also rather easy and worry free thanks mainly to the unpainted load lip.  

    The ride is a little choppy and it likes to roll in the corners. The steering isn’t as communicative as you would hope for but there is plenty of grip and it hangs on well. It just feels a little unconnected.

    The Verdict

    You get a lot for your money with the MG GS and it’s quite easy on the eye. I like its looks. There is an abundance of space for 5.

    One of my biggest bugbears is poorly painted door shuts. Not so with the MG GS. It is surprisingly well painted and put together very well. At this price, the competition needs to take note.

    Would I have one? If I was on a 20-minute dealer test drive, no. You need time to understand that gearbox. After a week, yes I would. It’s cheap and now I’ve mastered it, it is rather cheerful.

    Love

    Price

    Fit and finish

    Looks

    Loathe

    Wind noise

    Engine trashy at high revs

    Jerky in auto

    The Lowdown

    Car –  MG GS Exclusive DCT 

    Price – £ (as tested)

    MPG – 45.5 mpg (combined)

    Power – 166PS at 5600rpm

    0-62mph –  9.9 seconds

    Top Speed –  112 mph

    Co2 – 141 (g/km)

  • RESTAURANT REVIEW | The Halal Guys, London

    RESTAURANT REVIEW | The Halal Guys, London

    ★★★★ | The Halal Guys, London

    The restaurants in and around Leicester Square are there mostly to feed people on the way to the theatre, movies, clubs, or whatever. But there is a new guy in town that will make your journey on to somewhere else quicker, friendlier, faster and more delicious.

    The Halal Guys have arrived. Taking up a spot at 14 Irving Street (the street which shoots off Leicester Square that leads to Charing Cross and to the National Portrait Gallery) is where the yellow and multi-colored The Halal Guys is located. You can’t miss it – it sits next to the usual dull and unexciting restaurants that pollute this street. The Halal Guys bring something new to this area – it’s original and tasty and great value for your money – and you can be in and out in 30 minutes.

    It’s simple how it works. Just chose whether you want a gyro sandwich or platter (choices of chicken, beef gyro, combo Chicken & gyro – or the vegetarian – falafel). Me and a friend were on our way to the theatre and dropped in, and we both had to have the Combo platter – how could you not! It looked like it had the best of everything – and it did! A ‘special’ yellow rice came with the dish, along with the assorted salad condiments, and the icing on the cake was the choice of sauces – we both had a bit of hummus, baba ghanoush and BBQ sauces, with plenty of pita bread. We also nipped a side of fries (purely just for sampling purposes!) and luckily found a table to eat. It all looked so much and too much and very good, however, after eating we both agreed that it was delicious! It gives a new name for fast food – but this is not fast food – The Halal Guys are street food – street food served quick, street food served very tasty, and street food that I want to definitely go back and try again.

    It’s a very simple process, and you can add unlimited beverages, and Baklava for dessert.

    From humble beginnings as a New York City hot dog cart to a world-renowned international restaurant chain, The Halal Guys story is the quintessential American Dream. The Halal Guys is defining a new, thriving segment for the restaurant industry: American Halal Food! The Halal Guys legend began in 1990, when the three founding partners opened up a hot dog cart on West 53rd & 6th Avenue in New York City. As the business grew, they recognized a huge demand from Muslim cab drivers looking for a halal food quick and cheap meal. That is when the famous platter of chicken and gyro over rice was born. And let’s not forget about the famous sauces! Fast-forward 25 years, five carts, two New York City restaurants, and millions of diverse customers served, The Halal Guys is growing yet again. Fans no longer have to be in NYC to experience The Halal Guys as they look to share American Halal Food all over the country and the world.

    The Halal Guys are now expanding globally and can now be found, besides in their home base in NYC and all over America, but also in South Korea, The Philippines, and Indonesia. But London is lucky enough to have its first European shop – and I urge you to give it a try. The night my friend and I were there everyone looked so happy eating away, with the staff all very friendly and wanting to give you more sauce (I took more!). It’s perhaps one of the best places to eat at near Leicester Square, whether you are on your way somewhere or just want to have dinner before heading home – The Halal Guys will satisfy (and more) your hunger.

    https://thehalalguys.com

  • FILM REVIEW | Avengers Endgame

    FILM REVIEW | Avengers Endgame

    ★★★★★ | AVENGERS ENDGAME

    Marvel Studios’ AVENGERS: ENDGAME..L to R: Hawkeye/Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner), War Machine/James Rhodey (Don Cheadle), Iron Man/Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), Nebula (Karen Gillan), Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper), Ant-Man/Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) and Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson)..Photo: Film Frame..©Marvel Studios 2019

    Probably the most anticipated film of all time is now the most successful film in cinema history. The immediate sequel to Avengers Infinity War and the climax to the hugely successful decade of Marvel Comics 22 film marathon. After the shocking climax of the last movie with the Avengers losing big time, what next? Who lives and dies this time? And how do they send off the most beloved characters in film history?

    Answer with the best superhero film ever made that’s how!

    Nutshell – The ultimate superhero villain Thanos succeeded in gathering together all six infinity stones which have been spread across all of the decades’ superhero films and with a click of his fingers kills half of the universe including favourites such as Black Panther, Spiderman and almost all of The Guardians Of The Galaxy. How does the world, the universe and the remaining Avenger superheroes cope with the loss and go forward? All seems lost as this is set 5 years depressingly in the future but then…

    This film will make you laugh out loud, cheer, cry and give you loads to talk about through repeated viewings. Simply spine-tingling and incredible at a number of key moments. Believe the hype for once.

    Running Time – 181 Minutes – Cert 12A. A very very long movie but there are 10 years of loose ends and story arcs to tie up and they succeed with each one with pure class.

    The Gay UK Factor – Gay cosplay heaven. Chris’s Hemsworth, Pratt & Evans lead the wank bank possibilities here plus Black Panther, Hawkeye and a superb buff looking Bucky Barnes The Winter Soldier will all make your hole twitch. Chris Evans, unfortunately, shaves his beard off from Infinity ward which is a big shame but at least he does it shirtless. Another jerk-off negative is Chris Hemsworth’s Thor for reasons that become apparent when you see the film but there is a tonne of male flesh squeezing into tight latex for three very happy hours plus more than one reference to Captain America’s ass being the ‘ass of America’ to enjoy too… and it sure is.

    Cast – For the first time ever there are 25 names above the movie title. This is very very star heavy. Robert Downey Jnr has the top slot but with 16 other movie headliners of their own and an army of cameos including Robert Redford, Michael Douglas, William Hurt & Michelle Pfeiffer plus all the usual Marvel suspects you won’t be shortchanged in star power for your hard earned.

    Key Player – This is the new dictionary definition of the word ensemble so no point singling out anyone except Thor and Rocket racoon get all the best funny lines and Hawkeye the best action beats. The real key players are the directors here Joe and Anthony Russo who pull off whichever way you look at it – the fourth Avenger sequel or the 22nd Marvel Universe sequel and make it the best yet. Giving every member of the massive cast something worthwhile to do and tying up so many stories so satisfactorily. The other key player is the God at Marvel/Disney Kevin Feige who oversees all and is the one who decided to make so many different movies linked with each other over so many years and three chapters of the Marvel Universe which comes to a close here so onto Chapter Four in a couple of months with the next Tom Holland Spidey film.

    Budget – $400,000,000 plus – Yes, the most expensive film in history but after four days it had made $1.2 Billion dollars so this was no gamble. Bonus’s all round as it climbs the All-Time Box Office Charts with gusto leaping over Frozen, Fast & Furious and Toy Story by the hour. Marvel now move on to stage four of their universe so expect even bigger budgets and profits to come.

    Best Bit – 2 hr 12 mins; A big turning point in the movie which we will not spoil for you but you won’t miss it just ensure you are not holding any popcorn at the time.

    Worst Bit – 1 hr 49 mins; When you are now bursting for the toilet but there is so much going on you cannot decide when to make a run for it. By the way unusual for a Marvel film but there are no scenes in the credits at all so no need to sit through 10 minutes of CGI and stunt men’s names this time… go to the bar and start the lengthy discussion about what you have just seen instead.

    Little Secret – The film held previews on a Thursday night and two websites crashed and all seats in America were sold in SIX hours flat. Three Cinema chains decided for the first time ever to open right through the night and continue 24/7 to deal with demand.

    It made $60 Million at its previews breaking all records and next day it broke more than the biggest weekend box office ever and so it goes clearing $1 Billion dollars on the 4th day (which only 3 films have done in history). Demand was so high that two tickets in New Jersey were sold for $15,000 for an IMAX showing of the 15 buck movie. This review took a day to write and in that time Endgame made more than any non-Marvel release of 2018 did in its entire run.

    Further Viewing – Really? Well, you need to buff up on all 22 films in the Marvel Universe starting with Iron Man in 2008. Then move on to the DC Universe back through Nolan’s Dark Knights and onto Tim Burton’s Batman’s & Christopher Reeves first two Superman films. Add The Crow and Blade and then ignore all other superhero films like the plague especially anything with the words Fantastic and Four in them.

    Any Good – This is a masterpiece with one jaw-dropping air punching moment after another. Probably the biggest superstar cast ever assembled each with their own moment in the most expensive movie in history and a last hour that will not be beaten this year or possibly for many years.

    Bye, bye Avatar, so long Titanic, Au Revoir Star Wars, Pirates, Bond and Potter the world has a new all-time box office champ and we have no hesitation in giving it five huge stars to boot.

    You hoped it would be great but it is 10 times better than you ever expected. There was the movie world before Endgame and a completely different and better one after. Everything is wrapped up perfectly making an instant classic. Just incredible!

  • The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Fiat Cinquecento 1991 -1998

    The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Fiat Cinquecento 1991 -1998

    The Good, The bad and the Ugly.

    (C) Jim Magill: Twitter: @thealso

    An irrelevant look at a certain car.

    Fiat Cinquecento 1991 – 1998

    Fiat has always been good at making small cars. Big cars, not so much so. Think of a large successful Fiat and you won’t. Think small and you have plenty to choose from.

    Fiats smallest offering was the 126. This wasn’t really to British tastes and it eventually died. Actually, it didn’t die. It soldiered on until the turn of the millennium but for us in Blighty, we got the new replacement. And the replacement was a step in the right direction for a bold new Europe hell-bent on the love of the city car.

    Cinqueceto or Sinkeychento or BLOODY HELL, how stupid is this cars name to spell? Cinq for short, was a great little design. Short of overhangs and large on space, it was the embodiment of using as little steel as possible. Even in places like crumple zones. And essential places around the passenger carry space. What I’m trying to say is don’t crash one. 

    This lack of steel was good news for those who had been around Fiats for a long time. Until a few years ago back in 1988, Fiat had what can only be described as hydroscopic steel, in as much as the hard metallic surface would retain moisture. Now as we know, water and thin grade steel don’t mix, so using as little as possible was good. And Fiat also used some galvanising during construction too. 

    Fiat Cink was going to be a Fiat that was going to be around for a long time. Aided by its rather cute looks, it gained a legion of fans. And for the fans that wanted their Sink with a bit of a kick, they were rewarded with the Sinq Sporting. A hotter version fitted with a FIRE engine. Not one that went ‘nee-naw nee-naw’ but one that was a Fully Integrated Robotised Engine. It sounded grand. It was just built by robots. Depressing really when you think the heart of any Italian car is its engine, built by Italians with motoring in their blood. Anyway, Robert the Robot built the engines in the Sporting. 

    The Sporting was a bit shit. Unlike today’s Abarth models that are quite crazy, Sporting was not deserving of the sporting title. But I’m here to tell you about the more popular and run-of-the-mill Synk 900. A marvel of modern tranquillity this overhead valve engine wasn’t. A throwback to a bygone era it was having its origins date back to 1955. Don’t let the ageing mechanicals and modern body put you off. It’s not uncommon for older bits to be put into younger models. Look at Cher. She’s simply marvellous at 103. 

    And it was this ageing old cast iron lump with an alloy head in the Senk that made it a hoot to drive. There had been some changes to the 1955 original engine and it now came with injection and distributor-less ignition. Grabbing hold of those 40 horses was made all the more fun with added hydraulic tappets. It really could scream in an unburstable manner.

    And this crazy, drive it like a nun being chased by Lucifer on roller skates makes the Cenk all the more fun and a good car too because you just can’t really do anything wrong in it. Just don’t crash though. It’s not so good at that!

  • TV REVIEW | Rupaul’s Drag Race season 11 episode 8 and 9: Irresistible

    This is a two in one review that I hope you will enjoy.

    Last week Drag Race presented us with Rupaul teaching the queens all about promotion, using her own book Guru as a tool for a fun mini challenge.

    The episode also included a visit from the lovely Jinx Monsoon who coached the girls into the always much anticipated snatch game.

    That segment proved a clear problem some queens always have: when told their strengths and weaknesses – or what may or may not work they never listen. Or they only take it on board when it’s too late. If Ru or a seasoned queen makes it clear they think you’d be better suited to do a character they know you excel at: do it!!

    So Snatch Game itself was … uneven, the ones that were good were good, the ones that were not absolutely bombed!

    Silky won overall. Now her Snatch Game was good but what does Nina West have to do to be noticed? She presented two wonderfully funny characters and completely changed up her look and still she just gets a “well done, byeee!!”

    It must be discouraging to be working so hard and never be seen.

    The runway was a fabulous sequin spectacle with Brooke Lynn Heights pulling a beautiful mega reveal. Sadly as she failed on Snatch Game it didn’t do her much good.

    Then the much talked about lip-sync: Yvie vs Brooke Lynn.

    I know a lot of fans say this was the best lip-sync ever but it wasn’t for me. Yes, it was good but I prefer ones that don’t use acrobatics but instead have real dancing or the ones where the queens are so into the song it seems as if they sing it themselves.

    Still it was good, so good in fact no-one sashayed away.

    This week saw the library open for one of the strangest of Reading challenges. This it seemed as if non of the girls really knew how to really read and were better at clapping back. Silky and her footnote was the strangest one of all. Brooke Lynn was absolutely the best and deserved her win. Future queens better go and watch Paris is Burning to get schooled in reading like a pro!!

    One of the rewards of winning her reading challenge was that Brooke Lynn got to select who teamed up with who for this weeks main challenge. An improv police series called: L.A.D.P.: Los Angeles Drag Patrol. There was some shade involved in her choices, but also a little wisdom. Pairing a more subdued queen with a vocal one can work – and it did for most of them.

    The challenge itself was fun for the most with Silky and Brooke Lynn shining (it was not surprising Nina felt some kind of way giving Brooke Lynn the part she had wanted to do herself. She ended up being barely featured in the scene at all!!) But the absolute star was A’Keria Davenport who finally felt ready to let go. She was funny and an absolute twerk star!

    The real winner, to me, though was RuPaul. The delivery of her connecting secretary scenes were hilarious – especially when she was “speaking cat”.

    So, talking about cats: sad to say Plastique Tiara and Miss Vanjie were … not there – they looked great and their thing could have been funny, if they had prepared a little more. Also two cats fighting over milk. Did no-one even think about fighting over Milk? As in the former contestant? It could have made the joke a lot better.

    Then the runway, this week category is the Facekini. Though the show says it’s based on Ru’s iconic wearing of the facial garment, the original for this look is course Leigh Bowery, which is mentioned by Nina West who wears an outfit inspired by him. Sadly, though her look is one of the best, she doesn’t get singled out and just ends up “safe”.

    Absolute winner is A’Keria who also slays the runway, a well deserved win.

    Over to one of the most cozy and cheerful Untuckeds ever. The girls were at their calmest: talking like friends and just being happy an friendly with each other. It’s good to have episodes like this once in a while.

    The bottom two was right: both Vanjie and Plastique were just not on point in both the challenge and the runway. Vanjie was clearly ready to slay a lip-sync, having prepared herself every week and easily beat Plastique.

    From all kinds of whispers it is clear we do not have to mourn the loss of our Asian Queen for long, her popularity might spur her on to All stars 5. If you can’t wait that long, take a look at what she did next here:

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Tumulus, Soho Theatre, London

    THEATRE REVIEW | Tumulus, Soho Theatre, London

    ★★★★ | Tumulus, London

    (C) Darren Bell

    There’s a mound in Hampstead Heath where dead bodies of gay men are being found. It’s a tumulus (a mound), and the story behind the tumulus is disturbingly and jarringly portrayed and performed in a show of the same name at The Soho Theatre.

    It’s a life of drugs, sex, parties, and unfortunately murder in this production where gay men PnP (Party and Play – code words for drugs with sex). But in particular one gay man, Anthony, who works at the British Museum as a curator (a fantastic Ciaran Owens), through phone apps (we know which ones), finds himself in this world of chemicals and sex.

    In this world he encounters men around his age (Ian Hallard) and much younger men (Harry Lister Smith), who are also like him – living a life where there are no bounds and no boundaries. But gay men are winding up dead in Hampstead Heath, and Anthony might have just stumbled on the idea that there is a serial killer of gay men out there. All this happens in an explosive one hour of theatre that will awaken your senses and your mind.

    Tumulus is a show that is taut, tight, but never loses it’s edge, thanks to sharp writing by Christopher Adams and direction by Matt Steinberg. It’s got a great cast, especially Owens as the lead character.

    He takes us on this journey with him, in our face and right up our arses.

    Tumulus plays at the Soho Theatre until 4th May 2019

  • Theatre Review | Rough Crossing – National Tour

    ★★☆☆☆ | Rough Crossing

    As a theatre company board a cruise ship to cross the Atlantic to New York for the premier of their new piece, it’s not just the waters that become choppy. Following the overhearing of an ill-timed romantic interlude between his two leads, Hungarian playwright Turai tries to keep his upcoming production on track, by re-writing parts of his script to cover up for their indiscretion. But with only four and a half days to rewrite and rehearse the play, it is all hands on deck to keep things afloat.

    Turai is played with an air of camp sophistication by John Partridge (EastEnders) and bounces nicely off Matthew Cottle (Spooks) as his downtrodden writing partner; whilst rising star Charlie Stemp outshines them both with a confident portrayal of the cabin boy, Dvornichek.

    Despite an impressive and lavish art deco set, sadly, the play holds little else in terms of appeal. The script is neither witty nor amusing, eliciting only the briefest isolated pockets of laughter (primarily from the same audience member); whilst the direction is lacklustre at best and inexplicably tacks on a wholly misplaced musical number at the end of each act. The whole thing doesn’t really know quite where to put itself – it is not quite sophisticated comedy, not quite farce, not quite “Carry On” and not quite musical comedy. Sadly, unlike the fictional ship, the whole story seems to go absolutely nowhere.

    Tom Stoppard’s play is a wordy affair with a rapidly delivered script which is awash with very gentile and outdated comedy and a smattering of physical slapstick thrown in; and fans of Stoppard’s work will no doubt relish the opportunity of seeing one of his lesser revived pieces performed in a professional, touring production.

    Despite a few issues with diction at times, the production is competently presented, but ultimately the show itself never really sets sail and ends up casting the audience member’s interest adrift.

    Rough Crossing is currently at the Sheffield Lyceum until 27th April 2019 before continuing on its national tour.