★★★★★ | AVENGERS ENDGAME
Probably the most anticipated film of all time is now the most successful film in cinema history. The immediate sequel to Avengers Infinity War and the climax to the hugely successful decade of Marvel Comics 22 film marathon. After the shocking climax of the last movie with the Avengers losing big time, what next? Who lives and dies this time? And how do they send off the most beloved characters in film history?
Answer with the best superhero film ever made that’s how!
Nutshell – The ultimate superhero villain Thanos succeeded in gathering together all six infinity stones which have been spread across all of the decades’ superhero films and with a click of his fingers kills half of the universe including favourites such as Black Panther, Spiderman and almost all of The Guardians Of The Galaxy. How does the world, the universe and the remaining Avenger superheroes cope with the loss and go forward? All seems lost as this is set 5 years depressingly in the future but then…
This film will make you laugh out loud, cheer, cry and give you loads to talk about through repeated viewings. Simply spine-tingling and incredible at a number of key moments. Believe the hype for once.
Running Time – 181 Minutes – Cert 12A. A very very long movie but there are 10 years of loose ends and story arcs to tie up and they succeed with each one with pure class.
The Gay UK Factor – Gay cosplay heaven. Chris’s Hemsworth, Pratt & Evans lead the wank bank possibilities here plus Black Panther, Hawkeye and a superb buff looking Bucky Barnes The Winter Soldier will all make your hole twitch. Chris Evans, unfortunately, shaves his beard off from Infinity ward which is a big shame but at least he does it shirtless. Another jerk-off negative is Chris Hemsworth’s Thor for reasons that become apparent when you see the film but there is a tonne of male flesh squeezing into tight latex for three very happy hours plus more than one reference to Captain America’s ass being the ‘ass of America’ to enjoy too… and it sure is.
Cast – For the first time ever there are 25 names above the movie title. This is very very star heavy. Robert Downey Jnr has the top slot but with 16 other movie headliners of their own and an army of cameos including Robert Redford, Michael Douglas, William Hurt & Michelle Pfeiffer plus all the usual Marvel suspects you won’t be shortchanged in star power for your hard earned.
Key Player – This is the new dictionary definition of the word ensemble so no point singling out anyone except Thor and Rocket racoon get all the best funny lines and Hawkeye the best action beats. The real key players are the directors here Joe and Anthony Russo who pull off whichever way you look at it – the fourth Avenger sequel or the 22nd Marvel Universe sequel and make it the best yet. Giving every member of the massive cast something worthwhile to do and tying up so many stories so satisfactorily. The other key player is the God at Marvel/Disney Kevin Feige who oversees all and is the one who decided to make so many different movies linked with each other over so many years and three chapters of the Marvel Universe which comes to a close here so onto Chapter Four in a couple of months with the next Tom Holland Spidey film.
Budget – $400,000,000 plus – Yes, the most expensive film in history but after four days it had made $1.2 Billion dollars so this was no gamble. Bonus’s all round as it climbs the All-Time Box Office Charts with gusto leaping over Frozen, Fast & Furious and Toy Story by the hour. Marvel now move on to stage four of their universe so expect even bigger budgets and profits to come.
Best Bit – 2 hr 12 mins; A big turning point in the movie which we will not spoil for you but you won’t miss it just ensure you are not holding any popcorn at the time.
Worst Bit – 1 hr 49 mins; When you are now bursting for the toilet but there is so much going on you cannot decide when to make a run for it. By the way unusual for a Marvel film but there are no scenes in the credits at all so no need to sit through 10 minutes of CGI and stunt men’s names this time… go to the bar and start the lengthy discussion about what you have just seen instead.
Little Secret – The film held previews on a Thursday night and two websites crashed and all seats in America were sold in SIX hours flat. Three Cinema chains decided for the first time ever to open right through the night and continue 24/7 to deal with demand.
It made $60 Million at its previews breaking all records and next day it broke more than the biggest weekend box office ever and so it goes clearing $1 Billion dollars on the 4th day (which only 3 films have done in history). Demand was so high that two tickets in New Jersey were sold for $15,000 for an IMAX showing of the 15 buck movie. This review took a day to write and in that time Endgame made more than any non-Marvel release of 2018 did in its entire run.
Further Viewing – Really? Well, you need to buff up on all 22 films in the Marvel Universe starting with Iron Man in 2008. Then move on to the DC Universe back through Nolan’s Dark Knights and onto Tim Burton’s Batman’s & Christopher Reeves first two Superman films. Add The Crow and Blade and then ignore all other superhero films like the plague especially anything with the words Fantastic and Four in them.
Any Good – This is a masterpiece with one jaw-dropping air punching moment after another. Probably the biggest superstar cast ever assembled each with their own moment in the most expensive movie in history and a last hour that will not be beaten this year or possibly for many years.
Bye, bye Avatar, so long Titanic, Au Revoir Star Wars, Pirates, Bond and Potter the world has a new all-time box office champ and we have no hesitation in giving it five huge stars to boot.
You hoped it would be great but it is 10 times better than you ever expected. There was the movie world before Endgame and a completely different and better one after. Everything is wrapped up perfectly making an instant classic. Just incredible!
Estbablished gay writer for a well known monthly magazine Dirty Boyz part of Boyz magazine with about 30 pages published each time. Mainly adult entertainment, fetish, travel, events, film reviews. Also pop culture from movies/TV and music.
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