THEGAYUK

Category: Wellness

  • ADVICE | Help I Think I Have Broken My Penis

    This week a reader is worried that he’s damaged his penis.

    Dear Jose

    I think I’ve broken my penis. I heard a snap when I was having sex. It’s incredibly painful and it’s looking kinda black and blue. Will it heal by itself?

    JM

     

    Dear JM

    I would recommend that you present at A&E or see your GP as soon as possible. It may heal by itself but it may not heal correctly which may have implications for long term functioning.

    The penis is not a bone despite the term boner. You get an erection by blood flowing through the penis inside two cylinder-shaped chambers which are called the corpora cavernosa. Once those are filled the penis becomes hard.

    Although your penis is pretty robust it is possible to break it or snap the fibrous coverings of the corpora cavernosa called tunica albuginea. As you can see from the above picture the penis may become black and blue.

    Penile fractures can happen during sex, with the majority of accidents happening in the cowboy position (the bottom or person who is being penetrated is on top). So make sure you take care during that position.

    It can also happen during aggressive wanking. See our advice on wanking too much<

    by Jose Perez / Jake Hook

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

     

    YOUR QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS 

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • Looking Out For These 10 Signs Could Save Your Friend’s Life

    If you’re concerned about the mental health of a friend of family member psychotherapist Andrew Smith has ten top signs that you should look out for.

    Top 10 Signs Your Friend Might Need Help

    1. Social Withdrawal.

    This is when someone may become more withdrawn from social activities, and not be as interested in going out and socialising. However, more importantly, they may not be doing anything else as an alternative. Give them an invite to something and mean it. As a therapist, we often use the boundary of a session to gently challenge clients who would wish to withdraw.

    NEXT: Less Communicaton

    CONTENT PROVIDED BY THERAPP (what does this mean?)

  • 11 Things You Won’t Miss By Quitting Booze

    11 Things You Won’t Miss By Quitting Booze

    I drive a Prius, I’m a vegetarian and I voted Liberal. I am your worst smug nightmare. I thought that life as I knew it would end, the parties, the laughter the falling over in the ditch… but it hasn’t and in fact, I can still outstay my welcome, be the last to leave a party and fall over at any time as required. It wasn’t the booze after all. Here are the 11 things you won’t miss if you go sober.

    1) White wine guilt.

    You know the feeling when you wake up after a heavy night and you think back to the conversations you had the night before and then it hits you, you started calling everyone a c**t for no particular reason, except for, at the time, you were passionate about particular cause and it seemed like the only word that fully explained the cause – and then you realise that “everybody” included your boss, mother, local vicar and the street cleaner.

    2) Lengthy debates about shit that doesn’t matter

    I like to debate and I’ll happily argue a point, even if I don’t agree with the point that I’m debating. If the person opposite is a good sparring partner I’ll even argue that Trump is the planet’s saviour. Being sober, of course, I’ve realised that I don’t need to take the debate to its natural conclusion of a 5AM-we’ve-drunk-everything-let’s-start-on-the-Archers-cause-there’s-nothing-left, drunken dribbling train wreck. I can just leave it now.

    3) Saying too much.

    I was a bit of an over-sharer – I still am to a certain extent. And it surprises me how much people, especially in business will give away when they’re drinking. Secrets and inside info are traded away for another glass of Blossom Hill. Next time you’re out on a do with a client, just ask a few probing questions, they’ll open up about all sorts of stuff that ultimately, sober, they’d never tell and you know what, it all leads to point 1.

    4) Having spent the best part of a week’s wages on one tragic Saturday night.

    Dear god when I look back at how much money I spent buying rounds over the years, I could have bought a house, a yacht and a reasonably sized pony. Now a Diet Coke (£2) and I’m anyone’s (not really). What did spending all that money get me? Nowhere. And in the morning when I wake and I look into my wallet, I don’t feel point 1.

    5) Grey saggy skin.

    Honestly, I’ve not aged. People always assume I’m still in my twenties and I’m happy about that. I don’t get Champagne face anymore. That look as though you’ve stood with your face too close to a Corby Trouser Press for too long.

    6) Repeating myself, repeating myself.

    Have you ever notice how dumb people who drink sound. First off we’d get irate about something and then we’d bulldoze our beef into any conversation and repeat, repeat and repeat until we pass out. We never listen to advice and we just keep on repeating…

    7) Night buses

    I take my smug car everywhere – I never have to endure a chip stinky N91 night bus ever again. Sure I’m missing all the dramz, the light petting and Camden, but I can get all of that on LBC on the wireless.

    8) Spending a fortune on cabs

    I no longer have to spend a mortgage on a cab getting back to wilds of north London. Are you hating me a little now, I would I’m sounding really self-righteous.

    9) Piling on the pounds

    Before, when I was drinking, I just couldn’t seem to lose weight. Pounds just seem to be constantly piling on, no matter how much I ran, went to the gym or ate less cheese. I’ve lost over a stone and excitingly the weight hasn’t crept on again. When you consider a bottle of wine has 600+calories in it and you drink maybe 3-4 in a week – you’re looking at 1800-2400 extra calories a week – a full day’s worth of calories extra. Over a year that’s 93600 -124,800 extra calories that you’re probably not burning off.

    10) Apathy

    Come wine o’clock – which could be from 5:30 PM in our office, I just wouldn’t get anything else done. My mind would literally shut off after the first sip and then after a glass, I’d become something of a less evil Jabba the hut crossed with an average British voter (completely apathetic). Goodbye, no energy and goodbye to the excuse monster.

    11) Depression

    For me, the greatest thing about not drinking anymore is less anxiety and general depression. I couldn’t work it out. Every few days, I would get an uncontrollable bout of depression. Really deep and out of nowhere. It wasn’t until I released that it was always 2 days after a bender of a night that I realised my anxiety and depression was being brought on and exacerbated by alcohol. In the year that I’ve stopped, I have two, manageable down days – as opposed to two a week.

     

  • 8 Super Foods To Blast Through Your Cold And Flu

    8 Super Foods To Blast Through Your Cold And Flu

    Health writer and food expert Claudia Ehrlicher give us her top 8 food suggestions to blast through your cold and flu symptoms during the winter season..

    From Icepops to Garlic here are her top 8 super foods to help you get rid of your cold or flu and feel more like you again.
    – Water, herbal infusions, fruit teas: drink plenty and aim for 8 glasses of fluid per day. Try hot water with honey (to coat a sore throat) and lemon (to help with swollen throat tissues and fight off virus cells). Good hydration is important to help keep mucus thin and help lessen congestion. Avoid dehydrating drinks such as alcohol and caffeinated drinks.

    • Fruits, vegetables and juices: plenty of vitamin C to reduce cold symptoms and strengthen the immune system. Aim for 5-a-day as suggested by the British Dietetic Association.
      Strawberries, citrus fruits, broccoli and peppers are good sources of vitamin C

    • Chicken soup: studies suggest benefits in improving some of the common symptoms such as a runny nose, cough, sneezing, sore throat and chills. Chicken soup is hydrating and nourishing, may increase nasal airflow due to inhalation of vapours and may loosen respiratory secretions enhancing their removal. Check out Bone Broth soup recipe.

    • Lean protein from e.g. turkey, chicken, lean meat, tofu and beans: a good protein intake is essential for the function of the immune system. See Jordan Lohan’s recipe for Black Quinoa Chicken “Coal”

    • Garlic – try to add plenty of fresh garlic into your diet. It helps fighting the symptoms of colds and flu and also fights free radicals.

    • Foods rich in vitamin B5 and zinc e.g. fresh vegetables, whole rye and whole wheat flour, eggs, brewer’s yeast, salt water fish, mushrooms, nuts and royal jelly. They promote antibody production and help the body fight against infections

    • Ice lollies/Ice pops: they can soothe a sore, dry, swollen or prickly throat and also help to keep you hydrated. Make sure they are made from 100% fruit juice and not sugar water.- Ginger: fresh or powdered and added to food or enjoyed as a tea. This home remedy can soothe stomach ache and nausea and can help fight inflammation as studies suggest. Check out Jordan Lohan’s Butternut Stew, with Ginger

    Claudia Ehrlicher is a certified dietitian with a real passion for food, teaching and motivating people to lead a healthy life. She regularly writes on Healthspan’s Nutrition Expert and London Dietitian.

  • 5 Ways To Achieve In 2016

    5 Ways To Achieve In 2016

    Can you believe another year has gone by and 2016 is upon us? The year seems to have flown by, but right now it’s the perfect time for reflection. How was your 2015?

    As one year ends and another begins, many people’s attentions turn to what they’d like to achieve over the coming months. The dawn of a New Year is the perfect time to introduce a new you to the world, or so we think. With so much focus on resolutions and what we should be achieving in 2016, here is my guide to surviving the pressures of New Year and making sure you achieve the things you want to.

    I remember reading somewhere ages ago that around 80% of people don’t actually achieve their New Year resolutions. It makes me wonder why people bother if there is such a high failure rate, but of course many of us are pre-programmed to put huge amounts of pressure on ourselves and conform to what society tells us we should be doing. It doesn’t need to be that way though. If you want to survive New Year and achieve your goals in 2016, here’s how to go about it.

    1. A New Year doesn’t have to mean a new you!

    What’s wrong with the old you? Nothing of course; you may just want to work on achieving a few goals. From my perspective that’s more of an improvement than a complete reinvention. Try telling yourself that the New Year will mean an improved you rather than a new you. Something as simple as considerately choosing the words you use can have a lasting impact on how you think and feel. Self-improvement is also a lot more achievable than a reinvention. We’re not all Madonna.

    2. Make sure that your goals for the year are SMART.

    To give yourself a better chance of achieving, think about your goals and be sure that they are:• Specific – What exactly do you want to achieve? If you want to lose weight, how much weight? Be as specific as possible.

    • Measurable – How will you know when you have achieved your goal?

    • Achievable – Make sure your goal is realistic. For example, if you want to be cast as the next Bond girl opposite Daniel Craig, you may end up disappointed.

    • Relevant – Be sure that your goal is something you actually want or need to do.

    • Timely – Set yourself a deadline, but give yourself some breathing space. If you want to lose six stone in weight, don’t give yourself just six weeks to do it. Take your time, don’t put pressure on yourself, and you’ll soon get there.

    3. Be your own champion.

    If you’ve noticed that there is something in your life that you would like to change or improve, acknowledge the fact that you’ve noticed it and thank yourself for it. By having that initial self-awareness you’re already taking a step in the right direction. By being your own champion you’re providing yourself with the best form of support you can receive; self-confidence and belief in your ability to achieve. You can now let your own positive thoughts and inner wisdom guide you to making the positive change or improving that certain something about you or your life. If you’re planning on a resolution for 2016, make sure you’re not too hard on yourself and don’t judge yourself if you don’t achieve instant results. Tell yourself that you can do it and let those words become your belief. That belief then becomes action, which leads to you achieving.

    4. If you’re happy with your life and don’t feel you need any self-improvement, don’t bother.

    That’s right, I did just say that. If you’re ok with where your life is at and how you are within that life, why change anything? If you’re happy to continue with the way things are then I say carry on. If a tendency towards alcoholic beverages and the eating of cake is something you enjoy, why give it up? Don’t feel you actually have to make New Year resolutions or do anything revolving around self-improvement in January just because it’s what we’re supposed to do. Which leads me to my final point…

    5. Do what makes you happy.

    As New Year arrives we’re fed images and articles about what we should be doing to improve ourselves and what our resolutions should be. My advice to you is not to pay attention to any of it. You will know in your mind and in your heart what it is you feel you need to achieve. You will realise for yourself what the positive changes you need in your life are. Once you know what you want and need to do, create an action plan and get going with it. You’ll end up happier and more likely to achieve your goals this way, as you’ll be subscribing to what you want to do rather than what we’re told we should do.
    I wish you a very happy and prosperous New Year.

    by Daniel Browne | @MrDanielBrowne

  • A Gay Man’s Christmas Survival Guide

    Christmas. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? For some it absolutely is and they embrace all of the tinselly joy, but for others it is a nightmare time of year that is full of stress and worry.

    (more…)

  • Just What Are The Advantages Of Having A Small Penis?

    Small is beautiful – that is the new motto.

    Men with smaller willies have had quite the time of it lately, what with the small penis festival and the discovery that we’re all much smaller than we say we are, one website has done the small dong a service by giving five reasons why having a small Johnson is the best.Healthsite.com has come up with five, yes five distinct reasons why having a small todger is not only a great thing, but actually preferable in many ways.

    1) Firstly having a smaller beanpole means that hiding an unwanted erection is much easier.

    So if you happen to be in an awkward situation, say in the queue at your local library and you pop an angry cyclops, you can quite happily enjoy the knowledge that you’ve got a rager – and no one will be any the wiser.

    2) You won’t damage the person you’re having intercourse with…

    They mention cervix. We’ll just have to take their word on that.

    ALSO READ: Do you really know how to measure your penis?

    3) Oral sex will be easier.

    Apparently. Come on we like a challenge…

    4) Hit the spot.

    You’ll actually be able to rub all the right bits like the male G-spot with a smaller than average appendage. The G-spot is only a couple inches inside a man.

    ALSO READ: Why does my boyfriend’s penis smell so much?

    5) Anal sex will be less painful.

    Again we refer to point three. We like a challenge. If you want tips on how to find bottoming easier check out our top tips.

    Whatever your size is, don’t worry about it. We all come in all different shapes and sizes. It’s about who the dick’s attached to not the nob itself.

  • 5 Steps To Finding Your LGBT Identity

    Being part of the LGBT family means that it is harder to find a role model to look up to: while there are more LGBT faces in the media then there where five to ten years ago 98% of what we see and hear about is straight people in straight relationships.

    In our day to day life too: straight is usually the norm. If you come from a deeply religious family finding your true self is even more difficult.
    So it is still up to the individual to develop their own unique personae and see how to fit your sexuality in your life.
    Finding yourself can be difficult or easy: it depends on a persons own mental strength, how they are raised, their family situation and their support network.

    It can be a long journey that takes difficulty and courage, but most get there in the end.

    The most important thing is finding people who are supportive of you whether in physical form or on the internet. The difference a friendly person in a chat-room or an understanding e-mail can make must not be underestimated.

    The other important thing is inner strength: when faced with disapproval and homophobia from people around us.

    5 tips to build your mental and emotional strength and identity in the LGBT world:

    Affirmations:

    Build your self esteem by positive affirmations. Search books an the internet for positive quotes, poems and songs about gay life and repeat these to yourself as often as you feel necessary. Memorise them if needed.
    Tolerance:

    This one might seem odd: why would you tolerate those that do not tolerate you? Well, it just makes things easier. If you are forced to put up with people at work or intolerant neighbours there is merit in the old practise of “letting the idiot talk”. As long as someone is not harming you or have it in for you personally, let people spill their bile and ignore it. Often people are so fixed in their opinions that it is a waste of time to get upset about it or to try and change them. Smile, think of something else, pity the fool and then carry on with your day.
    Read and watch:

    Seek out videos, books and articles of other people that describe their journey and follow the advise that speaks to you. Even if you do not care for any of the advise given, it is good to take comfort in the fact that there are others like you out there that took the same journey and made it.

    Reach out:

    As said earlier it is important to get to know other LGBT people be it in person or online. You don’t need to go to clubs or bars immediately, that can be scary. Try to find an LGBT support group, a book-club or even a fitness club. People often think they immediately have to go to clubs and sometimes this scares them: Clubs are fun, but not the only place to meet with other LGBT members.

    Don’t expect too much:

    People often think that once they set out on the scene and come out to their friends and family everything will be different, a new life starts and it will be wonderful. Sadly no, these sparkling coming out movies are just that: movies. It takes time to find your way in the scene, to meet someone and build a life. Also you will have to come out more then once: you will have to come out to every new person that becomes part of your life and you will continue to get into situations where you face prejudice and homophobia. If you accept these possibilities and try to make the most of the good things in life everything else will come easily.

    by Dannii Cohen

    Dannii Cohen is a psychologist, counsellor and author specialised in LGBT issues.

  • ADVICE | I Have Piles… Can I Still Have Sex?

    This week a concerned reader asks about haemorrhoids and whether he can still have sex.

    I Have Piles... Can I Still Have Sex?

     

    Dear Jose,

    I have just found that I have piles… Great! The problem is I’m the bottom in our relationship. Is it safe to f**k whilst I’ve got these? If I use creams and they go away, is there a possibility they’ll burst – am I more likely to get an infection – if say we have a three way or go to an orgy?

    J, 40, Somerset.

     

    Dear J

    Anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to a STI can make transmission more likely.

    I would recommend using Preparation H or Germoloids to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling. During sex it is also important that you use a good water based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple person or high frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused. They are very unlikely to burst during normal sexual activity, even in the case of sex parties, threesomes or orgies. If creams etc. though do not fix the underlying problem and I would recommend as a permanent solution surgical intervention.

    This can now be done almost painlessly by syringing the haemorrhoids and a referral can be obtained by going to see your GP. There are also a number of  private clinics undertaking the therapy which do not require GP referral.

    Jose Perez de la Cruz, BPubHtlth,

    Public Health Practitioner

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • 15 Minute Self HIV Test Released In The UK

    A 15-minute self test kit has gone on sale in the UK.

    (more…)

  • 8 Reasons To Test For HIV

    As National HIV Testing week draws close, the reasons to test for HIV have never been clearer.

    Sponsored by

    biosure

     

     

     

     

    HIV is 3 letters, not a sentence. Especially for those who are able to treat the virus, and early detection means better results and a longer, healthier life. Here are eight reasons to test for HIV.

    1) Be In The Know. According to Public Health England there are 103,700 people in the UK living with HIV. Over 18,000 of them don’t know they have it – and could be spreading the virus even further. There are an estimated 6,500 gay or bisexual men who don’t know that they are living with HIV.

    2) Early Bird. Early detection means better results from the treatment for HIV, resulting in a longer, healthier life.

    3) You’re Not Alone. If you’re afraid that you might not cope with a HIV diagnosis, there are loads and loads of support groups, charities and healthcare professionals to help you. All you have to do is ask for help. You won’t have to face HIV alone.

    4) Stigma Exists. One of the most difficult things many people living with HIV find is the stigma that still exists around the status. Medicine has come a long way; society has yet to follow on as quickly. Getting tested often means that you could be more mindful about your health.

    5) Knowledge Is Power. Sleeping with someone who knows that they are HIV positive could be safer than having sex with someone who doesn’t know their status and may take more risks.

    6) Restart The Clock. Without being glib, many people who have learnt that they are HIV positive have talked about feeling the opportunity to restart the clock. Changes to lifestyle and diet become a priority and general interest in your health can only be a good thing.

    7) Engaged With Your Sex. Getting tested means you’re taking responsibility for your general health and your sexual health – good for you and great for the people you sleep with.

    8) No Longer Need To Go The Clinic. You can now get a self-test kit that can be performed wherever and whenever is convenient for you. Best of all with the BioSure kit you only need half a drop of blood and not a vial full that some other kits require. Testing yourself just takes seconds with easy to read results in only 15 minutes, without you having to send them off to a lab. No waiting in the sexual health clinic. No waiting a week for results to be texted to you.

    Promoted Content by BioSure (what does this mean?)