This week a reader reached out to ask our opinion on he should do, following falling in love, not lust with a woman.

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Dear TGUK

I identify myself as a gay. In past seven months, I have made friends with a girl. She knows that I’m gay, but I think she has feelings for me.

As for my part, I find her romantic but not sexual. I am confused.

I haven’t had any conversation with her regarding that.

Not sure what to do? Any help would be gratefully received.


Daniel Browne, Chair and founder of Warwickshire Pride

I would continue with this new friendship you have and see what happens. Is an awkward conversation necessary at this point? If she knows you are gay, she’ll know that nothing is likely to happen.

From your perspective, if you have romantic feelings towards her but not sexual, that is ok. It is ok to be confused and to take time to work out exactly how you feel.

Maybe see how things develop with the friendship and where your feelings are after a bit more time spent with her. If nothing romantic or sexual develops, you may simply have a great friendship. Nothing beats that.

Jake Hook, Editor & Chief of THEGAYUK.com

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This seems like you need to have a conversation with her. You could both definitely have an enjoyable non-sexual relationship which is like a life-long companionship, with each other if you’re both up for that. As long as you can be open about your sexual needs being met by people outside your relationship then why not go for it.

The only problems with this, however, is that there could be a likelihood where either you or she might fall in love with a sexual partner, but again if you keep the lines of communication open you can both work out boundaries and flesh out the “what if” scenarios.

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No relationship need fit in a box, and you don’t need to justify yourself or judge your relationship by what society might consider “normal”.

It’s your life. If you’re both happy and open about your needs and wants, who does this hurt?

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