★★★★☆ | Aquaman
AQUAMAN – The DC Superhero universe continues the fight back against Marvel with this great musclebound outing. We have had spandex guys everywhere you can imagine from Africa to World war 2 and including outta space so it’s time now to go underwater.
Nutshell – Land lubber Arthur Curry discovers he is in line to the throne of the underwater kingdom Atlantis. Unfortunately his sexy as fuck half-brother has other ideas, he feels responsible for his mother’s death and the Atlanteans are about to fight back with us surface developers for decades of undersea warfare and now our modern plague of plastic pollution. Cue all-out war and our favourite new hunk of beefcake is right in the middle of it.
Running Time – 143 Minutes – Cert PG-13. Superhero movies just keep getting longer and longer but it works here.
Tagline – ‘Home Is Calling’ & ‘He’s Not From Around Here’
The Gay UK Factor – Jason Momoa is one of the hottest new gay fantasy men out there and here he is topless for the duration. This massive tall muscular stud is heavily tattooed, has sexy scars and great long straggly hair you just want to run your fingers through. He starred in his own Baywatch TV series before heading off to Westeros to be the none English speaking shirtless and bare arsed Dothraki King in Game Of Thrones inducing a huge increase in wanking sock abuse. His Aquaman movie introduction was as small parts in Batman Vs Superman and Justice League where he stole your eye away from a lot of other hot leads but it has all been heading to this his very own two-hour special.
Cast – We are not sure there was anyone else here besides Momoa as we only had eyes for him but we think we spotted Dolph Lundgren, Willem Dafoe, Nicole Kidman, Amber Heard some guest star appearances as other kingdom monarchs and one of the most underrated sexy men currently acting Patrick Wilson who no gay man would kick out of bed.
Key Player – James Wan the director keeps the action and key set pieces a coming and turns what could easily be a pile of fantastical dog poop with men riding sharks and seahorses into battle into something believable, current and most of all… fun.
Budget – $160 Million but it seems to be money well spent as this will dominate the Christmas Box Office as everything else is kiddie blockbusters (Mary Poppins/The Grinch/Spiderman Cartoons) and helped by the major failure of the pretty rough Fantastic Beasts, JK Rowling’s first ever Waterloo and the postponement of the Bond.<
Best Bit – 1.12 mins; We get a great spell out of the water to undertake a breathtaking downhill rooftop chase with one great stunt after another and serious fingernail chewing jeopardy.
Worst Bit – 1.25 mins; A fight with a giant mythological creature seems a bit out of place here and more suited to any of a hundred forgettable sword and sandal Sunday afternoon Greek epics which all merge into one. Luckily the scene is short lived and it is soon back to the ocean for the big climax.
Little Secret – James Wan is, of course, the king of horror making the Insidious/Annabelle/Saw/Conjuring etc movies but don’t worry as he has a different focus here basin this on Raiders Of The Lost Ark and Romancing The Stone but whatever made him decide to include a drum playing octopus no-one will ever know. With this film, the DC universe will cross the four billion dollar mark at the box office in the fastest time ever just six films so take that Messrs Bond, Potter, Tolkien, Sparrow, Vader and especially Marvel.
Further Viewing – Wonder Woman, The Justice League, Various Spidermans and Batmans and everything from the DC movie universe or the enemy Marvel studio. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, Beyond Atlantis, The Meg, The Abyss, Sanctum, Lords Of The Deep but not Finding Nemo or The Little Mermaid.
Any Good – This works and it so easily might not have. Very fast paced and extremely noisy but it all seems to be in support of the extensive plot. Wholly separate from every other superhero films so no cameos here as it lives entirely in its own domain. It looks great is thoroughly enjoyable and fully launches Jason Momoa to the top of the A-list heading straight at the slightly tarnished Dwayne Johnson crown who has had a very rough year indeed. The Worlds highest paid movie star in history suddenly needs to look over his shoulder for a tatted man with even more muscular and possibly a better actor to boot.