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  • INTERVIEW: RuPaul

    INTERVIEW: RuPaul

    All the way from LA we speak to the gorgeous RuPaul about the best way to deal with young drag queen tantrums, living the bohemian lifestyle, Britney’s ‘bitch track’, and men in dark rooms where it doesn’t matter what they f**k!

    RuPaul
    CREDIT: Photography Mathu Andersen

    How does it feel to be a national treasure?

    Who have you been talking to? (Laughter) I didn’t know I was. The best anyone can do is to be themselves to the fullest and to not really compromise your own lovely beautiful spirit. I think if other people get something out of that, that’s great, but that’s never been my reason for doing what I do, to give other people something. It’s really a selfish reason, it’s really to have fun whilst I’m here on this planet. I mean it all starts with you. Self preservation is love and nature. Even as a performer on stage if you have fun the audience will have fun.

    A lot of people looked up to you and appreciated your advice on Drag U. Do you have any advice for our readers who want to become drag queens?

    Well I think it’s probably important for anybody who’s going to get into show business to get your real estate licence, (laughter), because you probably won’t be making enough for your rent money. Show business is a hard business. Most people see all the glamour and their names in the paper but that’s just such a small part of what it takes to maintain a career. You have to be very resilient, you have to know thyself and you have to have an understanding of what is being asked of you by the public. What is it they get from you? What your value is?

    What do you think Drag Race has done for you personally in your life?

    You know, in terms of my legacy as a performer on this planet in the past 32 years of me working in show business it has been my crowning glory, honestly, because I’ve been able to create something that other performers can use as a launching pad and through them my legacy will live forever, because I was able to introduce the world to them.

    Who was your drag mother. Did you have one?

    I actually did not. I had several mentors throughout my life who guided me and who’s advice I trusted. When I was 9 years old my sister married a guy who was very influential in guiding me. When I was 21 I met an older gay man named Dick Merchant who looked after me and taught me about Tennessee Williams and Tallulah Bankhead and social politics. You know drag wasn’t really about the drag it was more about being bohemian and drag just happened to be a tool to sort of ride the bohemian train. Drag calls out, its always been there to remind us not to take life so seriously.

    How does it feel to be the drag version of Tara Banks?

    (Laughs) I’m not going to answer that. I’m Ru and I mean honestly when you compare yourself to other people you really do yourself a dis-service.

    What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

    The best advice I’ve ever been given was from my 10th grade acting teacher Mr Purnell, who I’m still friends with. He said ‘RuPaul, do not take life too f**king seriously.’ And that really is the best advice I’ve ever gotten. You know when you’re young it doesn’t really resonate as much, so the older you get the more important that message becomes.

    What’s the best way to deal with upstarting drag queen tantrums?

    Well, we are doing a reality show so we do like a bit of drama, but if they’re becoming violent or something then we would have to threaten their ass with being kicked off the show and they don’t want that. We do encourage, actually we don’t even have to encourage drama. Drama is inherently there with drag queens. Usually the kids understand what they’re there for. They know this is their launch pad and they know there’re gonna be watched and there’s cameras on them at all times. I think the worst thing a girl could do really is just sabotage her own chances. There’s nothing really she could do to the other girls, the world is watching, the world will see how you behave and decide whether or not they want to follow you or support you.

    I know you’ve had many camp moments in your life, but was there a campest moment?

    You know I think all life is irreverent and campy and part of the bohemian lifestyle that I grew up with was to make fun of everything. Nothing is off limits except unkindness. Deliberate cruelty is not fun. I think of everything as camp. I think this life is all a dream, it’s all a funny fuzzed up illusion so I have to laugh at everything, I think it’s all camp.

    You decided to get clean and sober. How does that improve your outlook on work and do you have any advice for readers struggling with that right now?

    Well you know I’ve been sober for 14 years. I feel incredible. If you wanna lead a life on this planet there’s an evolution a story line, somethings get left behind. It’s like a rocket and a fuselage. To launch a rocket into space you need to use the fuselage but at some point you leave Earth’s atmosphere and you don’t need that fuselage anymore and you realise its important to break it off, if you want to move further. My point is you have to be present enough to understand when it’s time to give certain things up, but you also need tools to know how to deal with being present, because sometimes being present is really f**ked up. Sometimes you get really bored, sometimes you have a lot of pain, a lot of loneliness, but you need the tools to deal with that otherwise you’re gonna be in a lot of pain.

    What do you think it takes to have longevity in this business?

    I think a sense of humour. I think it takes an open perspective because for me I have to see outside of what I think I am, because there’s more to me than even I can see. Throughout the years I challenge myself to do different things which is a multi diversity of writing books, scripts, designing clothes, designing shows and contests, so there’s lots of different things you can do. You can’t just lock into ‘oh I’m and actor, oh I’m just a singer’ you have to go across the board and this is not just show business this is with everybody on this planet. We all live much longer than we did 100 years ago so in one lifetime you can have several different careers like Jane Fonda or Quincy Jones who have just done so many things with one lifetime.

    What’s your favourite way to be entertained?

    I love to laugh. I love to dance. I love beauty and art and colour and I love being present and clear enough to see the beauty in some of the smallest things which otherwise would not be given a second thought.

    What’s going to be big in fashion this winter?

    Fashion has been around for a long time. I’ve always followed fashion and the truth is there’s nothing good out. It’s really all the same. You have two legs, two arms and a torso. For young people a lot of things they’ve never seen before so it seems like it’s new but it’s not new. There’s a new way people can interpret something that’s old, but there’s nothing new. I love fashion, I just cant stand the pretentious people. same with art. I love art, can’t stand the pretentiousness around it.

    What do you think of Britney’s version of ‘Work Bitch’?

    I wish there was more to it. I wish there was more melody. I loved that bridge but the rest of it is what we called in the 90s a ‘bitch track’, where you talk over a track and there’s no melody to it.

    We now have some readers questions for you.

    Christmas or Halloween?

    Oh definitely Christmas I can’t stand Halloween. (They’re going to love that for TheGayUK Halloween edition) Christmas is a renewal of and the ability to give thanks and appreciation to all the people around you. I’ve always resented Halloween because I think it should be Halloween every day. I like to dress up every f**king day. I hate the fact they sanction it to one f**king day a year. That’s the day I would NOT dress up.

    Shocking Pink or Emerald Green Nail Varnish?

    Oh Shocking Pink. It looks so good with brown skin.

    What’s the best way to convert a straight guy?

    He’s gotta forget about converting anybody. He’s gotta just focus on himself. The truth is as a drag queen you get any man in a dark room with a couple of beers and they will stick their thing in any hole and you realise what a big hoax our culture is, as men like to f**k and it doesn’t matter what it is they f**k. Honestly, everybody’s really a big big lier when it comes to that stuff, but converting someone, you don’t wanna be with someone who needs to be converted it takes too much time and life is too short.

    What’s next for Ru?

    Well I’m making a record right now and writing another book and I’m redoing my house. I like to take it one day at a time. I do have long term plans but mainly I like to focus on what’s happening right now.

  • BOOK REVIEW: It’s Okay To Be Gay, Edited by Alison Stokes

    BOOK REVIEW: It’s Okay To Be Gay, Edited by Alison Stokes

    It’s OK to be Gay is a brilliant new book featuring the coming out tales of a number of high profile personalities. Edited by Alison Stokes, It’s OK to be Gay has been created to raise money for the charity Diversity Role Models.

    It’s OK to be Gay contains the coming out stories of a diverse range of LGB people. It may have been too easy for the book to comprise of the usual gay celebrities telling the same tales we have heard many times before. What It’s OK to be Gay does is feature a number of prominent LGB people who discuss their sexuality, their coming out, and how it has shaped their lives. It’s an interesting read and I found myself relating to many of the situations the contributors had faced and the emotions they had experienced.

    The balance of It’s OK to be Gay is just right; the tone is frank and matter of a fact, but not in a way that is shocking or headline grabbing. It’s a collection of real accounts that many readers will relate to. There is something for everyone.

    The one story that stuck out for me was that of the great Phyllis Opoku-Gyimah, co-founder and director of UK Black Pride. Many of the stories show that coming out can be a positive experience, but this particular story shows that it is not always plain sailing. There are some of us who experience negative reactions when coming out and Phyllis’ story is a stark reminder of that. It covers not only being a lesbian, but also black and from a religious household. However, it’s not a story that focuses on the doom and gloom, and Phyllis’ journey demonstrates that each negative experience can be turned into something wonderfully positive.

    Another story that drew my particular attention was the inclusion of the singer Diana King. A long-time admirer of Diana having been brought up on her music in my own mixed race, multi-cultural household, it was interesting for It’s OK to be Gay to feature a coming out story from someone who lives in a country where being gay is not widely accepted. In Jamaica it is a real risk that LGB people can be beaten or even killed due to their sexuality. I feel it is of the utmost importance that a book of this kind covers cultural difficulties that some LGB people can face, and it achieves that with flying colours.

    As a whole package, It’s OK to be Gay covers all bases. The inspiring people who have contributed their stories come from all walks of life, which instantly makes this book endearing. Perhaps it’s true to say that several of the stories are quite similar, but it does prove that although our coming out experiences are as individual as the people we are, there will more often than not be those similarities. The majority of us experience the same worries and apprehensions when faced with coming out.

    I thoroughly recommend getting your hands on It’s OK to be Gay. It’s a delightful and well put together book. I believe it will serve to help and inspire younger LGB people as well as reminding the rest of us that it can and does get better.

    It’s OK to be Gay is available on Amazon.

  • Anti-gay tweet controversy hits Made In Chelsea

    The brand new series of Made In Chelsea has been marred by reports of homophobic tweets made by new cast member.

    Miffy who was in our top 6 Males of Chelsea article was swiftly removed yesterday from the page after a reader notified us that the Made In Chelsea actor had allegedly made anti-gay remarks via twitter before he appeared in the E4 show.

    A screen grab of @MiffyUK shows that Miffy real name Dave Mifsud had retweeted a homophobic slur aimed towards X Factor contestant Rylan Clark, which read:
    “Bye Rylan you queer tw*t.”

    However, the first offensive tweet read:

    “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve #gaymarriagef***off.”

    Which was tweeted on the 21st May, the same day that the same-sex marriage bill was voted on in the House of Commons.

    The bill passed its third reading by 366 votes to 161.

    He deleted the offending tweets before his appearance on the show however one Twitter @LadyHz user took a screenshot before he managed to delete it.

    A spokesperson for the show told OMG,

    “Made in Chelsea does not condone homophobic behaviour of any kind. We have spoken to Miffy about his personal Twitter account and appropriate action has been taken.”

    However another twitter user tweeted directly at MIC’s Twitter account,

    “So @E4Chelsea says they “do not condone homophobic behaviour of any kind” so why is @MiffyUK still in the show? He’s still homophobic.”

    THEGAYJK contacted the press team at Channel 4 to ask them what ‘appropriate’ action had been taken. A spokeswoman for the channel said,

    ‘…Both C4 and E4 have a strong and proud background of tackling this type of prejudice and it’s something we take seriously as a portfolio of channels. Even on a rare and isolated occasion like this I would want people to get a clear message that we don’t tolerate this kind of behaviour personally nor professionally. It has been made clear to Miffy that any such activity is completely unacceptable and that Miffy was genuinely sorry for his ill-judged comment.’

  • GUILTY PLEASURES: The Shameless Gay Selfie

    The ‘Selfie’ is a modern day version of the self-portrait.

    It is defined by the urban dictionary as –

    “A picture taken of yourself that is planned to be uploaded to Facebook, Myspace or any other sort of social networking website. You can usually see the person’s arm holding out the camera in which case you can clearly tell that this person does not have any friends to take pictures of them…”

    As any modern day gay knows, you are required to upload these to Social Media at least once per day to show the world how fabulous you are! Perez Hilton has recently just jumped on the band wagon, posting pictures of his miraculous weight loss on guyswithiPhones.com

    Whilst these narcissistic, self-indulgent portraits might be extremely pleasurable for the photographer at hand and are useful in the instance that a friend/family member might have forgotten what you look like, they are normally quite painful for the general viewing public.

    A few variations exist, one includes a mirror where the phone is apparent but dignity not. Please be aware that location is everything! Make sure your bedroom is tidy, “The Sexy Selfie” never goes down well when it looks like your application picture for the TV show ‘Hoarders’ and no one really wants to see your “Trout Pout” as you make your claim for Jobseekers Allowance.

    Here is my rundown of the most common –

    “The Trout Pout” – Otherwise referred to as Duck Face! This Selfie is simple and remains popular with gays and gals as apparently looking like a demented duck is hot at the moment. Purse your lips, push them forward and pretend you are doing a sh*t. Think less Naomi Campbell and more Lesley Ash!

    The Sexy Selfie – In a world where online dating is imperative, these are extremely important in bagging yourself a mate! The best time to take these seductive snaps is when you are sitting at home alone doing absolutely nothing sexy at all! Hold your phone high at arm’s length and try to look like you have been drop kicked in the face. Proceed to use this as your profile picture on whichever social media outlet you desire.

    “The I’m Having So Much Fun Selfie” – Points are gained if you take this one with a friend. In the midst of the laughs, chat and fabulous time you are having why not stop everything and take a selfie! Show the world that you are simply having the absolute time of your life! It also works well if taken on holiday sunbathing or at a concert seeing a major recording artist.

    “I’m With a New Guy Selfie” – This selfie normally occurs after the change of a relationship status on Facebook. Long gone are the days of ice cream and countless hours listening to Celine Dion on repeat when breaking up with your Beau. To mend a broken heart, it’s all about the smart phone! Get yourself out there, pick the hottest guy you can find and take a picture. Upload this immediately to Facebook. Extra points for tagging your ex!

    The Sad Face Selfie – This selfie normally occurs two weeks after uploading “I’m With a New Guy Selfie”. Back in the day when you were feeling blue, you locked your doors, shut your curtains and refused to leave the house for several days. Now you have the sad selfie to tell the world how sad and tragic your life is! Upload it to social media to bring your unique brand of sunshine.

    The Post Gym Selfie – This selfie was designed by gay men to make other gay men feel bad about themselves. After a hard slog at the gym, stop, flex and say cheese. Upload this and show the world just how amazing you look! Several versions of this selfie exist, one variation is the headless torso.

    So why not give it a go? All you need is a camera phone, time on your hands and an overinflated ego!

     

     

    And vogue!

  • OPINION | Becoming body confident

    My name is Daniel Browne and I am a fat bastard. I say this not to shock or to gain sympathy from people telling me that I am not fat and should not put myself down. I say it because I have come to the realisation that this is how I am and I now accept it.

    For years I loathed myself and the way I looked. I spent a large amount of time on diets and following weight loss plans with little results. Then one day something changed in my mind. I began to realise that the self-loathing did not come from within; it was external pressure that had caused it.

    Flicking through various fag rags I was faced with page after page of so-called hot men with all their muscles and smooth bodies on show. I felt inferior. In the media we are fed gorgeous men. We are also told how to dress, what we should be eating, which exercises we should do, and it goes on and on. I used to lap it all up and dream of becoming an Adonis if only I could stick to what the media was telling me. Now I think it’s a load of rubbish.

    I’m not alone in disliking the way I looked. Research carried out by The Gay UK has shown that 58% of gay men are not happy with their bodies. I believe the media has to take some of the blame for this. We are fed images of men with fantastic bodies, but it’s not the norm. The majority of people do not look like that.

    Then there’s the scene… The gay scene has its pros and cons, but a massive down point to it is the focus on youth and having the perfect body. It’s grotesque and I believe it is causing harm to gay people. On the gay scene, I have faced abuse for being overweight and someone once told me that the only way I will lose weight is if I become bulimic. Also on one occasion, I was turned down by a guy for being “fat”. That same guy came on to me a couple of years later when I had lost three stone. That time I turned him down for being a “twat”.

    I felt great for having done that but inside I was still suffering and continued to hate myself.
    I was slim and had one of those fantastic bodies until the age of 19. At that point, I fell into a deep depression and one day went to bed for six months. The weight piled on and I went from being fit to morbidly obese in a short space of time. Since then I have struggled to lose the excess weight. I could write a whole list of reasons why I have not managed to restore my body to its former glory, but the truth is that I was unhappy and had no motivation.

    Over time I have seen various therapists and then trained to become one myself. It was during the training that my mind-set began to change. During those three years I learnt so much about myself and human behaviour, and learnt that many of the issues I had were about what other people thought. I entertained people’s opinions and took them as the truth. I guess if you are told you’re fat and ugly enough times you start to believe it.

    Ten years after falling into depression and putting on a considerable amount of weight, I am still fat, albeit now a couple of stone lighter. However, more importantly I am a much happier person. I know that my body isn’t perfect and I should probably do something about that. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. But if I do it will be on my own terms and not because someone says I should look a certain way. And that is how to live life; on your own terms.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • TV REVIEW | Stephen Fry’s Out There

    TV REVIEW | Stephen Fry’s Out There

    ★★★★ You know when the intelligent heavyweight that is Stephen Fry puts his name to any programme that people will listen.

    (more…)

  • LEGAL | Should I get a prenup?

    Hurrah! From next summer, lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people can get married in the same way our straight families and friends have done over the centuries, even in participating churches (the Quakers have been particularly supportive as have the Liberal Synagogues).

    As a family lawyer with a specialism in separating and divorcing couples, both gay and straight, most of my clients are struggling to come to terms with the end of a relationship. While some feel relief at the prospect of moving on with their life, nearly all of them are sad that things didn’t work out as they had hoped. LGBT clients that want to marry are now considering pre-marital agreements. Whilst working on Civil Partnerships, I have encountered similar questions from almost every client.

    Why do it?
    Pre-marital agreements are an opportunity for the parties to agree how they would like to arrange their finances in the event things do not work out as they plan. Despite obviously being forced to consider a possible divorce this can be a positive experience. You see, the alternative is an adversarial procedure, set up in 1973, whereby lawyers reduce each party to a number, a net worth, and then a judge decides on how their finances should be fairly divided considering a variety of factors. Coming to an agreement about fairness between yourselves ought to reduce uncertainty which, in my view, is always good.

    How should I raise it?
    Sometime both parties immediately identify the agreement as a necessary thing. For most, however, it is usually the partner with the most assets or highest income that raises it. This can be tricky. I have seen these discussions end relationships before they begin so I strongly urge any client who is in a stronger financial position, than their future husband/wife, to offer to pay all the legal fees from the outset.

    Never use the words “protect assets” or “ringfence” at this stage, rather say “certainty” or “clarity” and always mention that agreeing now will prevent having to pay out to lawyers in the future. Depending on your family arrangements, you will also want to mention parental pressure (if there is any) regarding future inheritance and/or ensuring security for any of your children.

    How much should I pay?
    This can range from £195 DIY agreements to £6,000 plus depending mainly on the type of solicitor(s) you instruct. It is universally accepted that both parties should take independent advice in order for the agreement to be taken seriously by the court. Normally, one solicitor drafts the agreement and another provides advice and negotiates amendments.

    If you like the comforts of beautiful city offices and delicious biscuits you will pay for it.

    Based on my experience, even people of high net worth should not be paying more than £2,500 for the drafting and £1,000 for the reviewing. If both parties are English and all of your assets are in the UK I would expect the cost of a properly agreement to be approximately £1,500 and a review of approximately £750.

    If you are considering the DIY option, please do not. Ask yourself whether or not you would attempt DIY dentistry? Solicitors have trained as long as dentists and, if you get the right one, demonstrate excellent value for money. DIY agreements can offer false hope and lead to serious unintended consequences.

    What are the pitfalls I should avoid?
    Do not instruct a solicitor that gives a vague price, saying something like ‘I cannot predict how much it will cost because I do not know how complex your matter will be’. Tell them that if they want the work, they should take the time to complete an assessment of your matter at no cost to you and then provide an accurate quotation. At the very least, set a costs cap so that you can track how much you will have to pay.

    Pre-marital agreements are new to England and Wales, pre-2003 they were completely useless and since 2007 the courts have increased their importance, often describing them as magnetic. However, they are not strictly binding on the court. This means that a judge will still look into the circumstances of the marriage and take their own view of what a fair division of assets should be.

    In this developing area of law it is generally accepted that for marriages which have lasted more than a couple of years, an agreement that does not provide for the housing needs of both parties and/or leaves either of them with no income would be ignored in the court. It is a mistake to take the time to draft an agreement that does not meet this bare minimum because you will have risked enduring the difficult process for nothing.

    If you are planning on getting married next summer, congratulations! Amongst your booking of venues and planning what alcohol to serve, a premarital agreement can take up to six weeks to complete and it should be signed at least 21 days before the ceremony. These are only guidelines but I am sure you get the picture, if it is signed the day before, or the day of, the wedding it looks like it was rushed and signed under pressure.

    Conceptually, I compare these agreements with Wills (which you should also complete!) in that they are tricky but important bits of lifetime housekeeping. Done well, both agreements allow clients to take control of their life and make their own decisions.

    If you would like to speak to Randal Buckley about this or any other family law or Wills matter, please contact him by email at sbedford@thelawhouse.com or call 020 8956 2655. He blogs at: www.thelawhouse.com/author/randal-buckley and you can also follow him on Twitter: @Randal_Buckley.

  • 6 Of The Best Torture Movies

    As it is #PleasureAndPain month here at TGUK, this month’s 6 of the Best looks at the genre of torture films.

    The genre has recently been subject to a resurgence in mainstream cinema, initially coming back to the attention of the masses with Eli Roth’s much publicised Hostel. The “torture porn” genre, as it is often known, has recently culminated in films such as The Human Centipede 2, which was the subject of much controversy and a “ban” by the BBFC until certain parts were cut from the movie. But the history of on screen torture is long standing with films like Marathon Man and A Clockwork Orange being considered cinema classics. So sit back, prepare to wince, hide that pair of pliers (just in case) and enjoy six of the best…..

    Hostel

    In Eli Roth’s genre setting film, a trio of American students on a back packing trip around Europe find themselves drawn to a Hostel in an unidentified Eastern European country, lured with the promise of sex and hedonistic pleasures. But the Hostel serves to provide young victims for a business which allows the rich to pay to have a private room in an abandoned factory, which is well equipped with every tool and torture device imaginable. The payment allows them to do whatever they want to poor, helpless victims. What follows is a nightmare of pain, graphic scenes of torture and wince inducing moments. For those who are not too keen on watching people have their kneecaps removed with an electric drill, there is always the beautiful looking Jay Hernandez to take your mind off the dank basement horror on display. Hostel was also rated in our most homoerotic horror movies.

    BUY IT FROM AMAZON

    The Tortured

    When his child is abducted and murdered by a paedophile, a young doctor takes matters into his own hands and kidnaps the maniac to exact his revenge. Keeping the killer chained up in his basement, he uses his medical knowledge to ensure that the maximum amount of pain is inflicted whilst keeping him the right side of consciousness. But as the torture continues, the doctor finds himself increasingly struggling with his morals, despite the fate of his child. Jesse Metcalf sheds his Desperate Housewives image with this brutal film which raises an interesting moral debate about how far you would go if someone hurt your loved one which is set against the cruel acts being perpetrated.BUY IT FROM AMAZON

    Martyrs

     

    This French Language film is one of the most notable films to come out of the French New Wave Horror Genre. A young girl seeks revenge on the people who held her captive and tortured her as a child. In her perusal of her captors, it leads her and her best friend, another victim of abuse, on a horrific journey which unfolds the mystery of who the organisation is and why they have a programme of systematic torture. This film is a disturbing mix of psychological horror and brutally realistic scenes of relentless torture, particularly in the latter half. This is extreme cinema and is certainly not for the faint hearted. If you have a low threshold in terms of screen violence, then this is a film you should avoid. If you have a strong stomach, then this film provides some original viewing. This is a good film but certainly not one for everybody.

    BUY IT FROM AMAZON

     

    Eden Lake

    A young couple head to Eden Lake, a beauty spot which will soon be turned into a gated community, for a romantic weekend together. After a run in with a group of hoodie wearing teens, whereby the gang leader’s beloved dog is accidentally killed, the couple find themselves on the run through the woods, relentlessly pursued by the youngsters. This tense British horror/thriller is an excellent film and is filled with realism and scenes which make you hold your breath and peek through your fingers. Michael Fassbender stars in this underrated and incredibly tense film. Watching a gang of youngsters torture the couple is uncomfortable viewing and if you ever wondered what it would look like to cut out someone’s tongue with a Stanley knife, then this is the film for you.

    BUY IT FROM AMAZON

    Hard Candy

    After three weeks of chatting on line, a thirty-two year old photographer arranges to meet a 14 year old girl in a coffee shop. After she shamelessly flirts with him, despite the age difference, she suggests going back to his house where she drugs him and ties him to a chair. She accuses him of being a paedophile and proceeds to try and extract a confession out of him. A deadly game of cat and mouse ensues, but has she got it wrong, and is his photographic project the real reason why he has met her, or is there something more sinister going on? This film raises a number of moral questions and has you guessing all the way through as to who is right and who is wrong; who is the victim and who is the villain. Once again featuring some moments to make you grimace, this thriller is a tense film which keeps you guessing.

    BUY IT FROM AMAZON

     

    I Spit On Your Grave

    In this remake of the classic 1970’s film, a writer heads to the solitude of an isolated cabin in the woods to cure her writers block. But after falling foul of a group of locals, she is sexually assaulted in a disturbing attack. Managing to escape, she rebuilds her strength and exacts her revenge on each of the gang, one by one, and in fitting ways to how they had treated her. This film is vicious at times and is one of the better remakes of old films of late. Despite the graphic violence on screen, you can’t help but find yourself root for the heroine as she gets one over on the gang who attacked her. And, if you have often dreamed of Chris Hemsworth naked and tied up in front of you, then look no further.

    BUY IT FROM AMAZON

  • OPINION | Coming Out: You say a hill, I say a mountain

    It’s been a while since I’ve submitted any articles, partly because I’ve been moving and partly because what writing I have been doing seems to be turning into a bit of a beast. A big gay-related beast! I won’t give much away (in fact I’ve given nothing away) but I suspect I may park the beast for the moment and save it for a rainy day.

    Last month everyone has been talking about ‘coming out’ and what this means to people. In my mind coming out is a very personal thing and means different things to different people. But what does it mean to be ‘out’ and why is coming out still a thing for the gay community? Are we making a mountain out of a mole hill?

    When I was 18 (all those many years ago) I pretty much knew what I was and that girls just held no interest for me at all. However, no matter how good my friends were or how close I felt to them I didn’t feel that while at college I could ‘out myself’ to everyone. I think this was mainly because I was scared of losing the friends I had worked so hard to earn – I wasn’t a very popular kid when I started high school (I looked like Harry Potter). That and of the guys that had declared themselves as gay in my year were, how shall we say, ‘bad examples of gay men’ that didn’t have a nice word to say about anyone.

    I remember one occasion when one of them decided to be incredibly bitchy to a friend that had simply and politely said hello to him. Having overheard this I quickly stepped into action and launched a tirade of abuse at said boy reducing him and his ‘posse’ to tears. While this isn’t something I am necessarily proud of I stand by that action as it was one of many incidents where this person had spat poison at the world and spitting poison at the innocent is a step too far.

    At the time I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. My experience of being gay up until that point was two very camp, very bitchy gay guys in my year that had a very close group of friends but other than that was on the outer edges of the school social groups. Do I out myself and declare myself as different to them or just keep shtum as being different doesn’t make a difference?

    The moment I left college (literally that afternoon) and after quite a few drinks down the local Wetherspoons I did out myself and the majority of my friends did the usual response stating that they already knew and this was old news. I didn’t know whether to be flattered or not, in my mind I hadn’t given anything away – I was the perfect model of a “straight teenager”. Or so I thought.

    It’s only now looking back that actually I remember a few house parties where hands would wander and my crush on two boys in my class (one at a time I might add). The first one was tall, thin and blonde. He was laid back, took everything as cool as you like, and was good with his hands and just yum. I had thought I was discreet but clearly my gawping at him didn’t go un-noticed. That and I used to make up stuff just so he would talk to me. (You can see why me being gay was obvious to people can’t you??).

    The other one was a member of my close group of friends. Tall, thin but this one was sporty. Sweet as you like but very teenage male, which kind of made him even hotter. Anywho, when at house parties it was my hands that would go wandering (or a cheeky feel of certain areas).

    Given all that I think that I made more of an issue of coming out that I should have done. Clearly I wanted to, and it was abundantly obvious that I was but in my head coming out would end the world and sees me back as the lonely boy I was in the first year of high school.

    Coming out to my mum was just as traumatic, but for completely different reasons. At the time I was seeing someone (not quite first love but close) and it had ended abruptly as he was shagging his ex and couldn’t have the spine enough to look me in the eye to tell me. So I was sat at home crying my eyes out and saw fit to dump all this on my mum and seek some motherly comfort. Not the best way to do it, but none the less got it done. Tears were had but no anger or issues and now she thinks it’s wonderful.

    My dad on the other hand is another kettle of fish. As with my school mates I strongly suspect that he knows, especially as I’m 26 and have never brought home a girlfriend or even mentioned one. I did agree with myself that once I had moved out from the family home that I would sit him down and tell him as I was then out and standing on my own two feet. If he then chose to have an issue with it I wouldn’t be living under his roof. I doubt he will, but it’s that little voice in the back of the head that says “be careful”.

    I am currently out of the family home and still haven’t had ‘the conversation’. I am going steady with someone and he has met my mum and brothers family and technically has met my dad, but not as “Hi Dad, this is the man I love”. I know I should just get it out of the way but something just stops me from doing so. Which isn’t me at all, usually I look people in the eye and tell them how things are. I can’t stand people that shake off their responsibilities, especially if a relationship is coming to an end. But here I am, shying away from doing something that could well be a mole hill and not a mountain…

    At work technically speaking I am not “out” but that isn’t through wanting to hide my sexuality that is more to do with that I just don’t discuss such things at work. Some of the people know as I know them outside of the office but on the whole they don’t and actually I’m not fussed if they do or do not know. If that’s lazy state of ‘in the closet’ then fine, I’m being lazy!

    In a time where discrimination is still rife I understand the fear people have and why people therefore fear the damage that coming out does. I would however encourage everyone to really think and see if this is truly a mountain or a mole hill? Is the damage real or is the news already out and the damage not what you think? Sometimes it will be, sometimes it won’t.

    But always remember to do what feels right for you and what works. Coming out is a personal thing so never feel pressured into doing or not doing anything. No one has the right to force you into coming out, not even a partner.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Male In Chelsea – 5 Hot Guys In Made In Chelsea

    We like a bit of ruff, but we also like a bit of posh – so we decided to take a closer look at the males of Made In Chelsea – and we called it Male In Chelsea – see what we did there?

    Not everything can be doom and gloom in gay media – which is why we’ve dedicated this page to the yumminess of the Males Of Chelsea.

    We’ve done some deep research to bring you these hot mens…

    Freddie

    Freddie is ours. Hands off. So apparently his mum used to be super model and his dad was in the hotel business. If only he were gay so he could sweep us our feet and whisk us away to some far flung destination for a free hotel stay…

    Mark Francis

    Mark Francis looks so posh that just one moment of looking into those deep brown eyes will probably turn you into an aristocrat. Probably not.

    Alex

    Apparently Phoebe’s Ex. Blah.

    Proudlock

    Proudlock wears Timmy Mallet glasses and has a perchant for silken shirts. Want him? He’s also got a cool earing which we may or may not want to nibble. Probably.

    Spencer

    He’s either thinking ‘who made that smell’ or ‘hug me till I stop crying.’ Spencer we will hug you. Always mon cher.
    There you have another incredible waste of 5 minutes of your time… Ta da.

  • REVIEW: LoveLite’s Lipoglaze – The Lunchtime Lipo

    LOVELITE’S LIPOGLAZE is a revolutionary non-invasive fat-reduction procedure that is new to the UK, although it has been around in the US for several years.

    The procedure gently heats up and then cryogenically freezes stubborn fatty deposits, permanently destroying the fat cells. The body then naturally eliminates this waste tissue over the next few weeks. They claim to remove around 26% of fat cells in the specified region per treatment.

    Lipoglaze can be taken as a single session or, if there are several problem areas, can be conducted as a set of treatments, although LoveLite recommends keeping sessions at least a week apart to give the body time to metabolise the dead fat cells.

    Lipoglaze is approved by the FDA and studies have shown it to be not only more advanced than liposuction, but also better than radio frequency and ultrasounds for removing stubborn fat deposits that patients find they can’t shift even with a good diet and exercise.

    LoveLite’s Lipoglaze has been endorsed by various celebrities, including the stars of The Only Way Is Essex, Made In Chelsea, The Apprentice and The Bachelor, as well as the glamorous WAG Lizzie Cundy, model Nicola McLean and Blue’s Antony Costa.

    But is it actually any good? I decided to pop along to try out this treatment and find out why so many people are now turning to non-surgical methods of fat loss.

    The clinic is located in a converted townhouse on Harley Street, and is clean and comfortable, sharing an entrance and waiting room with The London Clinic.

    Jourdan, the therapist I saw, is warm and well-spoken, and able to answer any questions with a reassuring professionalism and courtesy. My only constructive feedback for her is that she asked me to sign the consent form before explaining the procedure, whereas it really should be the other way round. She explained there may be some discomfort during the procedure and the possibility of bruising afterwards, but put me thoroughly at ease.

    The area undergoing treatment is pulled into a machine, which feels very tight and a little uncomfortable, although not terrible. This discomfort eases slightly after a few minutes, although the tightness remains throughout the procedure.

    After around an hour, the machine is removed and I am left with a strange feeling and a bizarrely rectangular bruise on my stomach. As the procedure is non-surgical, I was able to leave immediately, and took myself off to John Lewis for a (very healthy) scone with jam and cream!

    A week later, and the redness has completely vanished, although only just. Other than the bruising, there have been no side effects to this treatment as yet, and I am fairly certain none are likely to turn up now.

    Results are starting to show already, but only minimal and extremely localised. The bruised area was a little tender for a day or two but not painful, and it soon calmed down.

    Please stay tuned for further updates once the results have had more time to develop.

    Lipoglaze is available at the LoveLite UK clinic, 144 Harley Street, London W1G 7LE. Further details, including booking instructions, are at www.loveliteuk.co.uk or call on 0845 505 0805. Treatments cost £600-£1000 depending on treatment area and size.

    Visit them online at http://www.loveliteuk.co.uk/lovelite-ice-lipoglaze-testimonials.html

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