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COLUMN: The C Word
The cards have been in the shops for two months now. The shops are clogged with amateurs and there are a lot of tacky flashing things emerging. Yes, it’s the least wonderful time of the year: Christmas. (more…)
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ADVICE | I Have Slept With Over 700 Guys Am I Addicted To Unprotected Sex?
Am I Addicted To Unprotected Sex?

Dear 56DS and TGUK
I’m in my mid 20s and I’m a bit of sex lover. I’ve probably been with over 700 guys in the last 2 years, which makes my friends laugh, but I think I’m a bit addicted to it.
Some of the sex has been whilst drunk or on drugs (never needles) and I can’t be certain that it’s always been protected sex.
I am around 80% the top in these shags. So I’ve been told that the likelihood is that I’m fine, but just wondering.
I’ve had a few STDs and had those cleared up but I’m feeling a little bit worried as I always do this time of year with WorldAIDS Day coming up…
I have been to the clinic, but not this year.
Hi there;
Thanks for your question.Being top may be less risky than being the bottom, but there is still a risk, and guys who only top still get HIV. This is because of HIV can also be found in mucosal secretions inside someone’s bum. Using condoms will protect you against HIV and most STIs regardless of how many partners you have. However, it’s possible that condoms break, or you can get STIs including HIV through oral sex, although getting HIV through oral sex is rare.
Some people say that taking drugs including alcohol makes them more relaxed and more likely to take risks. Sometimes when people get caught in the moment they may feel invincible and forget to do the things they normally would to protect their health. It’s really important that you keep control by using condoms and getting yourself checked regularly for sexually transmitted infections. This should be for all STIs not just HIV.
If you do have HIV finding out can save your life (if you have had it for many years) or add years to your life. HIV is now a manageable health condition and life expectancy may be almost the same if diagnosed early and you start treatment at the right time. It’s better to know as you can take control of your own health and protect your partners.
It sounds like you may want to visit our CODE clinic, a walk-in service between 5-7pm on Tuesdays for gay men who use drugs during sex. The team are super friendly, non-judgemental and there to help you. They can advise you on drug taking, help you to reduce or stop and explain more about risks of STIs. Also, they know a lot about the harder sex scene, if that happens to be your thing.
In terms of the number of partners, it’s really important that you are having a healthy, enjoyable sex life which is not harmful to your mental or physical health.
If you’re worried that you may have sex addiction then help is available. There is an online screening tool at www.sexhelp.com which is free. It will give you a score and explain what that means. There are also lots of resources on the www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk and www.recoverynation.com websites. We provide support at 56 Dean Street and if you visited the clinic with an appointment with a health advisor we could refer you to this service.
Hope that helps;
Jenna and Jake.
OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE
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COMMENT | You know that AIDS and HIV are two different things… right?
I’m a newly diagnosed, 27-year-old gay guy, living with HIV now, but do many of you know that HIV and AIDS actually mean two different things? I can tell you that they are not one and the same, they do however share a bond.
Up until two months ago, to me, HIV and AIDS spelt the end of life, something you really should do all you can to avoid, something deemed dirty, unworthy and shameful with awful stigma association. Hearing the words no one ever wants to hear, ‘I’m afraid you are HIV positive’ have been a big wake up call. Boy, have my opinions changed in the space of two months and it’s from something I believe current media is lacking, especially here in the UK, and that is… education on HIV, shaken up.
So, first of all, back to basics and a quick lesson, what is the difference between HIV and AIDS?
Well…HIV is a virus which attacks T-Cells in your immune system (so you’re more prone to catching infections and potentially suffering from various illnesses earlier on in life)
Whereas…AIDS is a medical condition. It is the syndrome which appears at an advanced stage of the HIV virus if the virus is left untreated.
It’s great that we have a World AIDS Day, it highlights much-needed awareness and how it’s caused from being HIV, with a strong emphasis on how to prevent yourself from getting HIV in the first place. When I used to think of AIDS pre-diagnosis, my mind would shutter-click an image of Africa in front of me. Africa has the highest death rate from AIDS in the globe, this is understandable seeing as we are talking about a third world country who lack the funds to sufficiently protect themselves, and to be able to treat the condition as well, all of this requires a great deal of money. It’s a vicious circle which AIDS charity organisations are trying their best to end.
Reading through the World AIDS Day website, it mainly tackles the issues of prevention and awareness of HIV (which as mentioned before leads onto AIDS). So why have we not called this World HIV/AIDS Day? If the focus is on prevention and awareness of HIV, then shouldn’t this be in the title somewhere, to pop out and appeal to the masses?
One of the main things that needs to be tackled here in the UK is the stigma and prejudice associated with having HIV. One thing that everyone associates with the words HIV or AIDS, is ‘death’, images of a white skull and crossbones, set against a black backdrop pop up in your mind. It’s like something out of pirate times, with those that have the dreaded and fateful ‘black spot’ on them (*he says in a deep menacing voice*). People are naturally fearful of death, and so, in turn, anything associated with it is something to avoid or to block out of their lives, turn their backs on, plead ignorance too. This is what I believe stems the prejudice to people with HIV or AIDS.
I can tell you now, from all the reading up I’ve done and speaking to people who have the virus, people that have HIV can live as long as any normal person out there. Wait, hang on, did I just say ‘normal’? What is normal? Is it someone who never gets cancer? Someone who doesn’t smoke? Someone that doesn’t drive like a maniac? There are so many variables in life that when I read stats about life expectancy with HIV, I just ignore them.
So, whilst it’s great to instil fear in those that don’t have the virus by reeling off stats of how many people have it, how many have died from it, surely it’s also important to highlight that those that do have it can be me or you, anyone. That they can still have a life and are not on some sort of death sentence providing you are on treatment or living healthy. That HIV isn’t what it was 20 years ago, that there is hope, that people are working towards better treatments, towards a vaccine, a cure. If you’re a smoker reading this, aren’t you giving yourself a death sentence out of choice? Yet you aren’t frowned upon like those with HIV who have to hide their status. It’s all just food for thought.
I’m still getting used to being HIV and despite being diagnosed two months ago and coming to terms with it, starting treatment and telling my family, life does go on, I’m here to prove that. I’m still me, and all I ask is that you still be you.
by HIVPozGuy
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LEGAL CLINIC: Can I Be Buried With My Partner?
A reader asks our legal expert about his rights to be buried next to his partner. (more…)
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The Gay UK and 56 Dean Street Announce UK’s First Online Sexual Health Clinic
TheGayUK and 56 Dean Street, the popular HIV and sexual health centre in Soho, are pleased to announce a brand new venture to bring sexual health information to your desktop, tab or Smartphone. (more…)
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Ugandian “Kill The Gays” Law Still Pressing Head
AllOut.org have announced the following statement
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Leveson Report Makes Important Recommendations On Complaints Around Discrimination
The Leveson Report published today recommends that anyone should be able to make a complaint under the new regulatory system of an alleged breach of the Code of Practice, including ‘a representative group affected by the alleged breach’ (Summary of Recommendations 11). (more…)
