Apparently one in three straight people have fantasized about having a gay fling.
CREDIT: Wavebreak Media Ltd bigstock
According to a new poll, one in three heterosexual people have fantasized about having a same-sex fling or hook up. The survey which was created by dating website StraightButCurious.co.uk asked 100 people who consider themselves as straight if they’d consider having a relationship with a same-sex partner.
The website launched this month and the is the only site which is exclusively targeted at bi-curious dating in the UK
Women, in general, were more open to the idea of having a same-sex relationship with 41 per cent saying they’d be open to the idea of experimenting with another woman. The men questioned, however were a little more reserved. Nearly a quarter of men polled in the survey said they’d be ready for the plunge.
All mouth no trousers…
Only one in six said they’d actually do anything about it. Seventeen per cent of women and 14 per cent of men said they’d actually do something about their fantasy.
Founder of the site Tara Gordon says,
“The survey shows that there being heterosexual isn’t absolute. There are lots of people open to experimenting, who would never openly come out as gay or bisexual. In real life the gay scene can be intimidating if you are new to it, so this site gives people the opportunity to experiment and go at their own pace.”
Olympic hopeful Tom Bosworth told THEGAYUK that if the Jewelers Tiffany’s had the perfect engagement ring, he might propose to his boyfriend at Rio 2016.
CREDIT: Monty McKinnen for THEGAYUK
Olympic Race Walker Tom Bosworth told THEGAYUK’s editor, Jake Hook that if the jewelers, Tiffany’s, had the perfect engagement ring at Heathrow he might buy it before his flight out to Rio in order to propose to his long-term boyfriend at the Olympic games.
He said,
“If Tiffany’s in Heathrow has the ring that I want, I might even make it official when I’m out there.”
The athlete came out as gay last October live on the Victoria Derbyshire show and is just one of a handful of out Olympians taking part in the 2016 games.
In the latest issue of THEGAYUK (issue 21) the Race Walker talked about how he met his boyfriend, saying,
“My female friend decided to hit on him. She quite liked the look of him.
“Me and my other friend were sat there trying not to laugh as we quite clearly could see that he perhaps didn’t bat for that team (laughs).
“She got very offended when he said, “You’re not my type.” He was trying to be polite.
“She couldn’t understand why and it was at that point that I walked up to my friend and said, “I think he’s probably more my type, than your type.”
“We got talking from there. The rest is history.”
Be sure to download a copy of THEGAYUK ISSUE 21 for free. Out now on all good digital newsstands.
London is failing gay singles according to an industry expert who says that the UK’s capital is not providing gay men the right opportunities to meet long-term partners.
CREDIT: dolgachov-bigstock
If you’re looking to find a long-term partner you’re more likely to find him brunching in New York and not in London, so says matchmaking expert Jacqueline Burns at the Vida Consultancy.
The award-winning consultant blames the lack of social spaces for gay people and London’s “hedonistic” drinking culture.
She told THEGAYUK,
“There aren’t enough places where gay men can socialise, and those that do exist, either in Soho, Vauxhall or Clapham can be quite hedonistic and are mainly party areas.”
She also warns that nighttime prowling could be damaging to your chances of finding love in London.
“The majority out and about are younger men, looking for fun, and they may still be in the early stages of exploring their sexuality. Trying to meet someone after 8pm is not the ideal environment to be your true self and meet someone whose values reflect your own.
Booze Cruise?
According to the expert, New York’s dating scene is more “day focused” with an active brunch scene, weekend trips to the Hampton’s or boat trips to Statue of Liberty. London on the other hand has a Saturday night focus which revolves around boozing.
Burns also warned that as well as problems with drugs and promiscuity in most gay clubs in London, it is increasingly unsafe for gay men.
Recent studies show that around 9000 men are raped each year in the UK, that’s 12% of the national total reported, whilst in London, 307 men reported being raped to the Met Police, a 120% increase over 2012 figures. These figures may be much higher as sexual crime has a notoriously low levels of reporting, even more so among men.
She continued,
“While the Tinder revolution means there is now an endless choice of sexual partners, many gay men are actually looking for marriage and children and London’s hedonistic and fragmented social scene is not conducive to this.”
Getting married should be the happiest, most wonderful time of your life. Sadly, it’s often the most stressful time of one’s life. It doesn’t need to be that way, though. If you’re due to get married, I’m here to help with my top 10 tips for banishing pre-wedding stress.
Indulge in a technology detox.
If you’ve been busy with planning your wedding, take some time out for yourself and your fiancé. Put your phones out of sight, turn off the television and all other technology distractions. Put on some music, pour yourself a large glass of wine and enjoy some quiet time with your partner. Allowing yourself that time to switch off and relax will bring huge benefits to your life.
Take up breathing exercises.
This isn’t as boring as it may sound. Try this… Sit quietly and take a deep breath in for a count of four. Then exhale for a count of four. Repeat this exercise for two minutes and take notice of how it begins to make you feel. I recommend making breathing exercises a part of your daily routine to keep stress at bay.
Have sex.
It’s something enjoyable and the release of endorphins when in the throes of passion will put a huge smile on your face. If you’re not really up for sex, try my first tip and see if that to set the scene for an explosive, stress busting bonk.
Exercise.
The previous tip may have covered that slightly, but sexercise isn’t the only stress busting activity you can indulge in. Getting regular exercise is key in reducing stress levels. Even just a twenty-minute walk each day can help, but if you’re feeling more energetic, get out there and pound the streets or join a gym class. You could even put on some music and dance like nobody is watching, which is surely one of the most fun things to do. If you’re not up for much exercise, make it a social occasion and exercise while catching up with friends. Which leads me to my next tip…
Make sure you keep in touch with family and friends.
When planning a wedding, it can be too easy to fall out of the loop with those closest to you. So set aside some time and make an effort to catch up with family and friends. You could involve them in your wedding planning, but I suggest putting the planning to one side and having a proper catch up with people. It’s sure to be a boost to your mood and a massive stress reducer.
A new law allowing same sex marriage in the Isle of Man will come into effect today, following the announcement of Royal Assent to the legislation in Tynwald on Tuesday
Final implementation of the Marriage and Civil Partnership Amendment Act has been welcomed by Chief Minister Allan Bell CBE MHK, who described the move as an ‘historic moment’ for the Isle Of Man.
The Act enables same sex couples to marry either in a civil ceremony, in a register office or approved premises, or in religious premises (except those of the Church of England) subject to the agreement of the religious organisation in question.
The legislation also makes the Isle of Man the first place in the British Isles to allow opposite sex couples to enter into civil partnerships as an alternative to marriage. Civil partnerships have been available to same sex couples in the Isle of Man since 2011.
Mr Bell commented,
“Recognition of marriage for same sex couples in Manx law is a truly historic moment, showing just how far the Island has travelled over the past 30 years. It sends out a clear message that the Isle of Man today is a modern, open and inclusive society where equal rights are respected. I believe that the values of fairness and tolerance reflected in this legislation are shared by the overwhelming majority of our population.”
The Marriage and Civil Partnership Amendment Act takes effect from July 22 under an appointed day order made after Royal Assent was announced in Tynwald. The appointed day order is not subject to Tynwald approval.
There will also be some consequential secondary legislation on a supplementary order paper at this sitting of Tynwald, relating to fees, social security and pension schemes.
It will be possible for same sex couples to convert their civil partnerships into marriages free of charge, if this is done under the standard procedure in a registrar’s office before November 1 this year.
I work in the trade and it usually means working along side may other trade guys on different sites. The last site I was on there was a site manager, older mature butch muscly bloke (late 40s), ex army/marine, I know he’s married and has kids.
During a meeting between 4 other work mates, I kept catching him looking at me. Then about half way through the meeting while other guys were discussing things, he looks at me, WINKS(!), and then smiles! It took me by surprise.
The big question is: WTF do I do? I don’t want to confront him and give away I’m gay, and find out he’s not. Maybe the wink meant something else? If so, then what!? Or is a wink some secret “gay trade code” that I’m completely unaware of?
Yea I fancy him. Even though he’s married I would not say no. I’d love to have a go with him but just not sure how to test the water without giving too much away?
This is an interesting dilemma. First things first though: why do you think being an ex army/marine type would prohibit someone from being gay? There are many ways to be gay and you’d be surprised how many super masculine power jocks are part of the rainbow nation.
What I am wondering is: do you really want to take on the responsibility of loving a married gay man? There will be many problems and dramas you will have to deal with and it could become painful in the future. Make sure you think about the pros and cons before doing anything.
If you are certain about wanting this man, let’s look at the evidence you’ve given us.
That wink definitely meant something, no-one winks at another person without a deeper intention behind it. Of course it could also mean he recognised you were bored of the meeting too, or sharing joke. But that too could mean he was reaching out for something deeper. But if it’s friendship or love you will have to find out for yourself.
From what I gather you are not out at work and want to keep it that way. This means you have to get him alone outside of work. As he is married and very outwardly macho he might have build a few fences around his sexuality so don’t immediately bombard him with the “do you fancy me” question. Try becoming friends first, see how he acts around you. Make some small talk, see what you have in common. Go to the gym together, go for a few drinks and then, after a few dates, drop some small hints.
If he picks up on them: bingo! If he ignores them, at-least you have a new friend.
A warning: if you don’t like taking it slow and want to get there fast, always ask the question in a public place maybe with a friend present in the vicinity just to be on the safe side.
Always with love,
Dannii
The advice above has been given by our community of writers who have drawn from experiences in their own lives and is should not be considered as professional advice.
This week a reader asks what he can do to stop ejaculating too quickly. Pharmacy2U’s Clinical Governance Pharmacist Phil Day answers his question.
Dear Phil,
I’ve a bit of an embarrassing question. I cum way too quickly. I’ve been with my boyfriend now for six months and we’ve got a great sex life, in fact it’s a bit too good. I just can’t last. Literally I last two minutes tops. We have a fair bit of foreplay and I do get a bit close, but always stop, before I climax – however when it comes to the penetration bit I can’t last at all. Is there a way I can make myself last longer?
John, Hull
Dear John,
This really isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. In fact, one in three men say they have suffered from premature ejaculation at some point.
Despite what blokes say in the pub, the average length of time from the moment of penetration to orgasm is shorter than you might think. We all need to be a bit more realistic about how long we can keep going.
One of the key things to understand when finding the fix for you is whether this is a temporary problem or something you have suffered from with other partners as well
There can be underlying physical problems, as well as mental health issues such as anxiety and stress, that can cause it. Some doctors also reckon there are men who have unusually sensitive penises.
There are a few things you can try, such as masturbating an hour or two before you think you’re going to have sex.
Also, try taking deep breaths when you’re on the verge of ejaculating as that briefly shuts down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs).
Use positions where you or your partner can pull out easily and quickly if the act of penetration is too stimulating.
Many sex therapists recommend adopting a ‘stop-start’ technique entailing taking breaks during sex and thinking about something bland and boring.
Pharmacies also stock a number of over the counter and prescription-only products that could help you too, including thick condoms and desensitising sprays.
Medication in the form of tablets is also available to treat premature ejaculation in men who experience this regularly and where it causes distress, and is usually taken one to three hours before having sex. You will need a prescription, which can be obtained from your own doctor or through a private consultation with an online GP.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
Bermuda has overwhelmingly voted against same-sex marriage.
(C) TheGayUK
The British Oversea Territory of Bermuda with a population of 65,000 just had a vote on gay marriage and it overwhelmingly voted against it. They held a non-binding referendum on the issue of same-sex marriage and were asked two questions:
“Are you in favour of same-sex marriage in Bermuda?”
and
“Are you in favour of same-sex civil unions in Bermuda?”
Both votes were lost by 69 per cent and 63 per cent respectively with just 46.89 per cent of the electorate turning out to vote on the issue. The low turn out makes the referendum invalid according to The Royal Gazette.
The Premier said,
“With yesterday’s referendum, Bermuda has expressed its democratic right to vote on two questions that have been the focus of discussion and debate for more than a year.
“Based on the Referendum Act 2012, a referendum question shall be taken to be unanswered if less than 50 per cent of the persons registered in the parliamentary register vote at the referendum.
“And with the results indicating a majority ‘no’ vote, and a less than 50 percent turnout, the Government will now consider the next steps that respects and reflects the views of the people.”
Homosexuality was decriminalised in 1994 however the LGBT community do not have equality in terms of age of consent.
The charity had released a number of funding warnings in 2015 and again in 2016 – blaming the Government’s silence in confirming whether the charity would be funded for another year.
The charity did receive funding for 2015 and 2016 but a charity insider blamed “major mismanagement” for the issues.
Communications to its chief executive, Jo Harvey Barringer by THEGAYUK went unanswered in early 2016.
The Center for Biological Diversity has released a video which shows that it’s not just the human race who have sexual diversity. The short clip features a quick list of animals that are known to have same-sex relationships such as bears, whales, elephants and wolves.
The video has been viewed over 16,000 times and 460 likes.
Scientists have found that homosexuality exists in over 1500 species in the world.
THEGAYUK created a crowdfunder campaign which received international recognition – with donations that helped relocate Benji to an animal sanctuary in England.
Sex and its procurement via an app can be a tricky journey to navigate.
Sometimes it goes epically wrong. Thanks to Instagram for the #GrindrFails that show that perhaps we need to put the phone down and go out and meet some people in RL.
