No… we don’t fancy you

At some time many of us will be one of a group of mates, whether at school, college, work, in military service or member of a club or association.

There is the inevitable question you will be asked by them almost one and all, en-mass or individually when you come out to them, “So, do you fancy me then?”

I have a standard answer to this question it is: “No. As a gay man, I do have standards!”

Generally, this confuses them as it seems, most have a secret desire to be longed for by anyone with a pulse, and they don’t like rejection. A few have even been really needy to know what they could improve or change. They can get quite desperate, and then they realise they are throwing themselves at another bloke and in an instant they ‘man-up.’

Remind your straight mates they don’t go after everyone they see. Like them, you have a taste that is unique to you and in which all the aspects of a person they consider, you do too. Though if your friends are like mine, those rules fall by the wayside the more alcohol they consume and the later it gets into the evening.

Another reason not too fancy all your straight mates or at least most of them is a working olfactory sense. Among your group, if they are anything like mine, will be those who could do with a shower or a stronger deodorant and those who have liberally splashed it all over to the point of having an aroma one associates with going through the door of a department store onto the women’s perfume floor. You know the ones; you can smell they are on their way as they step out of their front door and start to walk down the street to the pub.

Another reason not too fancy or go with some of your straight mates is that you will know their sexual history. Ask yourself do you really want to take that risk?

You’ve probably stood next to them at a urinal at some time. They will be thinking of that now and wondering if all the time you have been a secret “willy watcher.” Personally, I didn’t have this problem as my tiny todger is not a public performer and I always go into a cubicle. So you are on your own with this one.

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Chances are they already knew anyway, so what was all the panic and worry about telling them?

Finally, if all else fails, the best thing is to tell them you really do fancy them and let them make the next move.


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