Last Wednesday it was announced in the media that David Walliams and Lara Stone are divorcing.
As David has always been a very private man this should have been, enough information to satisfy anyone not in their immediate circle. But surprisingly, the next day there was an avalanche of headlines and frontages that seemed almost from a different era. The blame was put squarely on David’s beloved camp persona and his love for playing female characters.
The writing seemed offensively homophobic and more about the change of hurting David than an article informing the public on why the couple are divorcing.
(The claim that Lara did not know about David’s image before they were married seems quite far-fetched, as she spoke about watching his work following their courtship in interviews soon after they begun dating.)
On Twitter and message boards two certain groups of people seemed very concerned with David’s sexuality and his dresses, as if the two are always mutually inclusive.
Isn’t it sad that in 2015 a camp man with a love for dressing up still seems so threatening to the media and certain parts of the population?
The idea of a man being at ease with his feminine side and appreciating same sex beauty still seems like one of the biggest taboos in the world (one man even wrote to the Daily Telegraph to say people like him should be castrated. And no, he was not part of ISIS.)
David has always fought against these taboos, from his earliest interviews on he has spread the message that being locked in a box of forced masculinity is boring and worse, limiting. It is also damaging to some-one’s personality, always having to think about whether doing something is or isn’t “gay” or “feminine”. People raised to be aware of such things are often the ones that end up attacking others who are more “open minded” and free spirited.
In a time where people who are transgender, gay, flamboyant or in any other way different from the “norm” are facing fresh oppression around the world (homophobia is rising in the UK), people like David are needed to spread a counter message.
David is working hard at doing this and is succeeding.
His book The Boy in the Dress, which he admitted was semi autobiographical, is selling in countries where being gay, trans or different is illegal, changing young peoples outlook, showing that being different is actually being normal.
In the UK the book has changed young boys considerably and in a good way: helping them understand and accept their more feminine male classmates.
This World’s Book Day it was clear how much of a difference David is truly making: his timeline was flooded with young boys proudly in dresses, some mothers said they even demanded makeup! These boys were not afraid to do what they wanted, not limited in their choices: they just thought wearing a dress was fun. This book has opened their eyes. So if in future they may see or be the person that preferences the feminine over the masculine, they will see it as normal – having David’s message in their mind.
But he has done more. The following might sound odd to people, but his flirting with Simon Cowell (and other men,) which has also been judged by the media and parts of the public, is also important to society. When David first appeared on Got Talent having David flirt with Simon on a big pre-watershed family TV show tells the world: “Hey, flirting with someone of the same gender is not weird or scary. It’s just as normal as a male judge flirting with a female judge.” And yes, it has brought difference. Young kids are talking about “loving” how David flirts with Simon, saying they want that kind of relationship too. They are “shipping” them as they would male and female characters. They see it as normal. Also David is not “pretending” to be gay, as some say.
Over the years he has made it as clear as possible, without actually saying the words, that he has attraction to men and women, and would just at as easily have married a man had he found the right one.
NOT that it matters, as that is not the message he is trying to spread. He is going beyond this, saying everyone should be able to be who they are: difference is to be celebrated. This has even affected Simon Cowell, who has changed considerably and even allowed David to put him in a dress and last season had David sat on his lap.
Maybe this is what scares some people so much about David Walliams. They fear he is threatening their masculinity, their sexuality.
Is his mission to put every man in drag and make up? Is he forcing people into homosexuality?
Of course he is not, don’t be ridicules. No, he is just trying to change your attitude. It is not just about dresses or sexuality or gender, but difference: “It is alright to be different”. He is trying to spread tolerance.
Think about it: who wouldn’t want to live in a world where no one is judged for being who they are? This is his message and if the new generation can understand that message, if boys and girls alike can be free in how they want to express themselves, maybe it is time that the adults allowed themselves this freedom again too.
Many parents, thankfully do understand, as these messages posted to him show:
Thankfully David still seems to be himself. When asked at his book tour on Thursday ‘if stealing was legal, what would you like to steal?’ David quickly retorted: ‘Simon Cowell’s heart’…
NEVER change!
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