THEGAYUK

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  • COMMENT | Banning “Gay Cure” therapy could drive it underground, so what can Government do to stop it?

    COMMENT | Banning “Gay Cure” therapy could drive it underground, so what can Government do to stop it?

    Making Prevention better than The Cure

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    The UK government’s LGBT Action Plan sounds like the blueprint for some upcoming wargame, rather than a 32-page, 75-commitment based document aimed at pulling down barriers for the LGBT community in both their public and private lives. Yet one promise causing the most interest appears to commitment to finally ban the so-called ‘gay conversion therapy’:

    “We will bring forward proposals to end the practice of conversion therapy in the UK. These activities are wrong, and we are not willing to let them continue. Led by the Government Equalities Office, we will fully consider all legislative and non-legislative options to prohibit promoting, offering or conducting conversion therapy. Our intent is protect people who are vulnerable to harm or violence, whether that occurs in a medical, commercial or faith-based context. We are not trying to prevent LGBT people from seeking legitimate medical support or spiritual support from their faith leader in the exploration of their sexual orientation or gender identity”.

    It is rarely the child who finds the problem with their own sexuality once they understand and accept it, rather it is those around them; those who would otherwise provide support. LGBT charities still exist to tackle those occasions when parents are unaccepting – if you want to appreciate the real scope, just take a glance at the homelessness statistics and the functions of the Albert Kennedy Trust. The government’s promise on introducing both legislative and non-legislative options to prohibit “promoting, offering or conducting conversion therapy” is an important and substantive change in tenor that should not be underestimated.

    The conversion therapy makes the fundamental assumption that sexual orientation is a psychological disorder that can be ‘cured’. Previously, while there was no general acceptance of it, the UK government’s position was that the regulation and code of ethics for any regulated practitioner would prevent LGBT individuals being offered or undergoing this treatment. The government would not legislate for the sake of it and nor would they criminalise the conduct.

    There is not harmony or unified thinking about this across either Europe or the rest of the world. Some countries, like Brazil and Argentina, and a few US states have banned it but great swathes still take no real affirmative action.

    How can the Government ‘Ban’ Conversion Therapies?

    The government has many tools in its war cupboard when approaching these. The big guns of the arsenal could be the criminalisation of the therapy itself, but it can just drive the practice further underground and some would argue that it is a practice which people ‘choose’ to undertake. Criminalising the promotion of it is another route, or introducing hefty fines for those practitioners caught conducting or condoning it. How would you regulate it though? Those who are professionals are already regulated by their professional body and who have already taken steps to prevent it.

    Some, including myself, have argued previously about how the government was simply burying their heads in the sand on this point and was failing vulnerable children who are not being taken to regulated professionals, but camps involving the most inhumane physical and psychological torment.

    Whichever way the government shapes this, a root and branch approach is going to be needed to get this from the core and strip it back to a fundamental understanding in all sections of society. Gender identity and sexual orientation already have incredibly high levels of suicide and depression amongst young adults and children. It is important that they see this change and the support that it brings them when society will step in and say, “This is not just wrong, it is abhorrent. This will not be tolerated in any form anymore.”

    For the most determined parent, could they still just take their children abroad? How can we protect and prevent this too without a wider consensus in foreign countries as well? I would hope the UK government has a plan to deter this from happening, but what safeguards can they put in place? Here we would hope to see non-legislative change, promoting better understand and LGBT education in schools, building relations with different parts of society and adding these forms of harm to child protection officers in schools and local authorities. The Church of England acknowledged this in 2017. Will other community leaders openly do so too?

    The LGBT Action Plan is a tome of information, statistics and ambitious promises. It highlights many other facts, such as disclosure of their sexual orientation at work and the high level of discrimination in the workplace that still remains. While we have legislation in this area already, the absence of real and substantive legislation or debate in the area of gay conversion therapy is astounding. Whether the government of the day decides to criminalise the practice, or place deterrents in some other form, this will be hailed by the LGBT community as a step towards not just equality but basic, human dignity.

    The more cynical side of my mind remains with a question though: will the government be able to create a robust enough system of ‘prevention’ which is better than the ‘cure’?

    Andrew Spearman is an award-winning lawyer and Director of A City Law Firm

  • COMMENT | Could Pride have more dignity?

    COMMENT | Could Pride have more dignity?

    Whenever I see images from Pride events they always seem to focus on the extremes. Do we do ourselves a disservice or allow others to exploit us?

    I struggle with the identity of Pride. Is it a celebration of sexuality? Is it a human rights march? Is it an orgy of deviants on the move?

    If it is a celebration of sexuality I feel it should be conducted in with restrictions in place to protect children and others who may be easily shocked or offended. The common images I see are those which are at the outer limits of extremes! Sure these are the ones the media publishes because these are the ones of kinks and fems which empower the churches to disown and parents to have a negative impression of any sexuality other than being straight.

    To be honest I am not sure I would feel supported and wanting to embrace my new sexuality if I was a teenager thinking about coming out. In my own experience when I was growing up many of the pics I saw were of Leatherman/clones and I couldn’t grow a moustache until my late 20s, whilst the feel of leather made me sweat profusely and was uncomfortable to me. As a fourteen-year-old boy, I wondered how I would ever adapt.

    If it is about human rights, then perhaps Pride marches are the wrong place. Not sure about the message it sends to restrictive governments. Seems to be less about sexuality and more about exhibitionism. Is it that we think we can shock countries into changing their policies?

    Have a thought for children. I often wonder how Pride gets away with it. From a safeguarding perspective, I am not sure some of the behaviour or the costumes are appropriate.

    LGBT+ from my way of thinking has devalued homosexuality and the identity of gay men. I never asked to be part of every other deviancy. I feel its inclusion of other sexual perspectives under one umbrella gives weight to the “Us and them” argument It always seems the choice is, straight or LGBT+. So long after gay men could have achieved equality, that position of inclusion and acceptance has been denied us because of the eternal protester and politically minded within organisations who seek attention.

  • COMMENT | Is Pride still necessary?

    COMMENT | Is Pride still necessary?

    Amsterdam is warming-up for Pride 2018! But is Pride really still necessary?

    Participants at the famous Canal Parade of the Amsterdam Gay Pride 2014.

    At a very early age, I realised that, unlike my colleagues in school, I felt more attracted to boys than to girls. As a young boy growing up in a small village in Portugal 30 years ago, I had no clue about what to do with those feelings. Homosexuality was not mentioned at home or in school. It wasn’t discussed on TV either. The only few times that I heard about it, it was in a negative, mocking way, which made me feel like something was wrong with me, and that being gay was something that I had to hide.

    30 years later, a lot has admittedly changed. In Portugal, for instance, same-sex marriage has been legal since 2010. And The Netherlands, where I live now, was the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage in 2001. But is this the case of every single country in the world?

    According to an annual report by ILGA (International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association), 72 countries and territories worldwide continue to criminalize same-sex relationships, including 45 in which sexual relationships between women are outlawed. There are 8 countries in which homosexuality can result in a death penalty and dozens more in which homosexual acts can result in a prison sentence.

    Despite these facts, many straight people insist on asking me: Does it really make sense to still celebrate Pride? Their main argument is that there is no such thing as a Straight Pride. Please let me ask you:

    Have straight people ever been attacked or fired for merely being straight? Do straight people have to worry about holding their partner’s hand in public? Do straight people’s vacation plans have to be made by taking into account which country not to travel to for fear of being imprisoned because of their sexuality? Have straight people ever had the unpleasant experience of having to come out to their family and friends?

    Are you still wondering why there is no Straight Pride? Or are you just happy that you don’t need one?

    This year, Amsterdam Gay Pride (the largest gay pride event in the Netherlands, and one of the largest in the world) will take place from July 28 to August 5, and it will pay particular attention to human rights. The annual boat parade, which sees the canals lined by over half a million spectators, will take place on Saturday, August 4. Boats of, among others, Amnesty International, Greenpeace and the College of Human Rights were proclaimed this year by the organization as “Pearls of the Parade.”

    I will be there! May I invite you to join me?

  • COMMENT | As LGBTs many of us were bullied as kids, so why do we continue to bully as adults on dating apps?

    COMMENT | As LGBTs many of us were bullied as kids, so why do we continue to bully as adults on dating apps?

    While growing up, I remember feeling like I did not belong.

    CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK

    Somehow, I never seemed to meet the expectations that society had planned for me. And because I was different, I was constantly bullied. This happened from first grade to the end of High School (from 6 to 18 years old). The bullying I experienced was so traumatic at times, I’m still feeling the effects today. But I chose not to be a victim! I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication. Now I really know myself, and I know my voice. It is a voice of pain, but each pain has made me stronger, each betrayal more intelligent, and each experience wiser. I finally realised that being different makes me unique and that is my power!

    “I finally realised that being different makes me unique and that is my power!”

    It is true that a lot has changed since I was bullied, but I am afraid that it is still not enough. In recent years, a series of bullying-related suicides across the globe have drawn attention to the connection between bullying and suicide. Though many adults still see bullying as part of being a child, it is a serious problem that leads to many negative consequences, including suicide. And this needs to change! My hope is that by raising awareness to this issue one more kid will get help, so he won’t get discriminated or bullied.

    But more than addressing the discrimination from the outside world, I deem it necessary to also raise awareness to the increasing discrimination within the LGBT community. “No Asians, no black people, no femmes, no fatties, no oldies…”: This kind of language can easily be spotted on gay dating apps. Our community has been oppressed by the outside world for so many generations. Why do we insist on doing it to ourselves now?

    Are apps doing enough to respond to user discrimination?

    I cannot answer that, but I am hoping that by talking about these issues we can raise awareness and hopefully encourage people to be kind to each other. We already have the outside world against us.

    Miguel Martins (www.facebook.com/MyOwnFado)

    – Mister Senior Netherlands 2018 3rd Runner-Up

  • The Grindr Killer: “What went wrong here was that the net which should have caught him was full of holes. He was able to slither out and kill again, time after time”

    The Grindr Killer: “What went wrong here was that the net which should have caught him was full of holes. He was able to slither out and kill again, time after time”

    Beyond ‘The Grindr Killer’: What the Stephen Port case tells us about gender, sexuality and hierarchies of victimization in the Twenty-First Century

    Stephen Port

    Professor Elizabeth Yardley, criminologist at Birmingham City University

    In November 2016, 41-year-old Stephen Port was convicted of the murders of Anthony Walgate, Gabriel Kovari, Daniel Whitworth and Jack Taylor. He is one of only 50 people in England and Wales to receive a whole life sentence, meaning that he will never be released from custody and will die in prison.

    Port was named ‘The Grindr Killer’ by the tabloid press because he accessed many of his victims through the Grindr dating app. Much of the media coverage of the story and the subsequent popular interest in the case focused upon this new way that killers and sexual predators could access their victims. Indeed, I have researched the use of social media by killers for several years now, exploring how homicide perpetrators use Facebook[i] and exploring the meaning of homicide confessions posted on social networking sites[ii]. However, focusing upon these elements can sometimes distract us from some of the bigger and more pressing issues – issues that are not new and are intricately woven into our social fabric. Exploring contemporary attitudes to gender and sexuality and confronting the stubborn persistence of homophobia in our culture are all crucial to understanding what enabled Port to cause as much harm as he did.

    Having met his victims on Grindr or dating sites, Port drugged and sexually assaulted them. He used a substance called GHB (gamma-hydroxybutyrate) or the similar GBL (gamma-butrateactone). Port’s callous disregard for the lives of his victims is shocking. He did not care whether they lived or died.

    After killing 23-year-old fashion student Anthony Walgate on 17th June 2014, Port left his body on the path outside his flat, putting a small bottle of GHB in Anthony’s pocket. He lied to the police and said Anthony had taken the GHB himself and he’d moved his body outside because he was scared they would think he had killed him. Port received a short prison sentence for perverting the course of justice.

    Just over two months later, Gabriel Kovari – who worked in a London shop – was murdered by Port. Kovari was Port’s flatmate of only two days. On 25th August, Port administered a fatal dose of GHB and assaulted Gabriel. Port told friends that Gabriel had just walked out one day and he didn’t know where he had gone. On 28th August, Gabriel’s body was found propped up against a wall of the churchyard in the ruins of Barking Abbey, close to Port’s home. Gabriel had a bottle of GHB in his pocket. His phone was missing. A dog walker discovered his body.

    A few weeks later, 23-year-old chef Daniel Whitworth was Port’s next victim. Port and Daniel had agreed to meet on 18thSeptember. Having killed Daniel, the following day, Port deleted his account on the dating site and carried his body to the grounds of Barking Abbey, leaving him close to where Gabriel had been left. Daniel was found by the same dog walker who discovered Gabriel. Again, a bottle of GHB was found in Daniel’s pocket and his phone was nowhere to be seen. With Daniel’s body was a note that stated he had taken his own life because he felt guilty for killing Gabriel Kovari. Port was trying to blame an earlier murder on his latest victim.

    Stephen Port
    CREDIT: met police

    At the time, local media reported that police were not looking for suspects in the deaths of Gabriel and Daniel, describing their deaths as unusual and confusing but not suspicious. Nor were they linking Anthony’s death to them.

    Just under a year later, 25-year-old forklift truck driver Jack Taylor would become Port’s fourth and final murder victim. Port killed Jack after meeting him on 13th September 2015. The following day, Port deleted his account and took Jack’s body over to the same churchyard where he had left Gabriel and Daniel. In Jack’s pocket, Port left a bottle of GHB, a tourniquet and some medical wipes.

    “What went wrong here was that the net which should have caught him was full of holes. He was able to slither out and kill again, time after time”

    It was not until October that the Metropolitan Police’s homicide and major crime command took over the case and arrested Port in relation to all four deaths. The Met also referred the case to the Independent Police Complaints Commission (now the Independent Office for Police Conduct) because of what they termed ‘potential vulnerabilities’ in how police responded to the four deaths. This investigation is still ongoing.

    How did Port get away with murder for as long as he did? I would argue that this had very little to do with his ability to avoid getting caught – indeed he came onto the criminal justice system’s radar very soon after killing Anthony Walgate. What went wrong here was that the net which should have caught him was full of holes. He was able to slither out and kill again, time after time.

    The police response

    Port could have been stopped earlier in his killing cycle and unfortunately, this has a ring of the familiar about it. Dennis Nilsen, convicted of killing six men between 1978 and 1983 but suspected of killing at least twelve, also came within the police’s grasp. Douglas Stewart walked away with his life after an encounter with Nilsen in 1980. Nilsen had tried to strangle Douglas, who went to the police, showing them the red marks on his neck. Nilsen knew exactly what to say when challenged by officers, denying Douglas’s claims and saying the two had had a ‘lover’s tiff’. At the mention of homosexuality, the police lost interest. Nilsen would go on to murder several other young men. A similar but fatal incident occurred in the USA when one of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims escaped – only to be returned to Dahmer’s apartment. By the police. The following is a transcript excerpt from Milwaukee Police Communications[iii]:

    Police Officer: Intoxicated Asian naked male. (Laughter) Was returned to his sober boyfriend. (More laughter)

    Dispatcher: 10-4 64 and 65.

    Police Officer: 10-4. It will be a minute. My partner is going to get deloused at the station. (Laughter).

    Port is one of several serial killers to have targeted gay men. Dennis Nilsen. Peter Moore. Colin Ireland. Jeffrey Dahmer. The man charged with the murders of several men in Toronto’s Gay Village[iv].

    “These killers all benefited from the fact that their victims belonged to a stigmatised social group”.

    These killers all benefited from the fact that their victims belonged to a stigmatised social group. This stigma permeated – and continues to flow through – a range of social institutions not limited to the criminal justice system. These victims belonged to a social group who didn’t matter as much as others. There was less sympathy for them. They were less worthy, less deserving of a thorough and rigorous investigation. The gay men targeted by serial killers are often additionally vulnerable because they have left home, are in need of a roof over their heads and have lost contact with their families and friends. Many of Dennis Nilsen’s victims fitted this profile and several remain unidentified to this day. They were once someone’s son, someone’s friend. Port’s victims were different, they had not runaway, they had jobs, families and friends. People noticed their absence and reported them missing. The gay rights activist Peter Tatchell has drawn attention to the importance of social class as well as sexuality in this case.

    If four young middle-class men had been murdered in Chelsea, police would have probably made a public appeal much sooner and mounted a far more comprehensive investigation. In contrast, the murder of low-income gay men in working-class Barking was treated very differently. Whether conscious or unconscious, police officers stand accused of class and sexuality bias[v].

    Criminologists have a concept for this – it’s called hierarchies of victimization[vi] – where people are not treated equally when they become the victims of crime based on assumptions made about them because of their socio-demographic characteristics like gender, sexuality, social class, age and ethnicity.

    Unfortunately, in the cases noted above, the criminal justice system provides us with several examples of homophobia at its worst. It’s a sad fact that over 50 years after homosexuality was decriminalised in England and Wales that we are still seeing gay men let down by the very institutions that should be there to protect us all. They are still not receiving the justice they deserve. And that is just not good enough.

    [i] Yardley, E. and Wilson, D. (2015). Making Sense of ‘Facebook Murder’? Social Networking Sites and Contemporary Homicide. The Howard Journal of Criminal Justice, 54(2), 109-134.
    [ii] Yardley, E. (2017). Social Media Homicide Confessions: Stories of killers and their victims. Bristol: Policy Press.
    [iii] Milwaukee Police Communications transcript, 2.00AM., May 27, 1991. Cited in Egger, S. A. (1998). The Killers Among Us: An examination of serial murder and its investigation. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, pp 256-7.
    [iv] Bruce McArthur has been charged with many of these homicides.
    [v] https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/24/stephen-port-murder-inquiry-homophobia
    [vi] Greer C (2007) News media, victims and crime. In: Davies P, Francis P and Greer C (eds) Victims, Crime and Society. London: Sage, pp. 20-49.

  • Where and how did pride begin? How a riot at Stonewall led to a world-wide pride movement

    Where and how did pride begin? How a riot at Stonewall led to a world-wide pride movement

    In Part two of Simon Sayers-Franklin’s Pride series, he explores the origins of Pride at the Stonewall riots and why we fly our Rainbow Flag!

    How Did Pride Begin?

    Pride originated on 28th June 1969. Back then police raids on gay bars, like the Stonewall Inn, were common. The authorities would come in, push people around, display violence, intimidate, bully and randomly arrest people. The arrests were frequently made for tiny, inconsequential things such as drag queens wearing more than one or two items of ladies clothing or being caught in compromising positions.

    Often the bars, which were largely owned by the Mafia, would bribe the police to tip them off when raids were due to occur. The gay bars would often have two rooms – a bar in the front and a dance floor in the back. Dancefloor lights could be triggered from the bar to send a secret message to the people next door that a raid was about to happen. This allowed them to stop dancing or quickly find an opposite-sex partner if they wished to continue dancing.

    It was in the early hours of the morning on June 28th 1969, that an LGBT friendly bar in New York was subject to a raid – something that was all too common in gay bars. This bar, however, was one of those owned by the Mafia and catered to transgender people, drag queens, effeminate men, sex workers and homeless people of many backgrounds. The bar in question was the Stonewall Inn.

    a sign from Stonewall that police used to raid the premises

    This raid, however, was different from the beginning. Firstly, the owners were not tipped off, secondly, it happened very late; around 1:20 am. There had been rumours about a raid that night but it was dismissed as inaccurate information.

    The night it all began, two undercover policemen and two undercover policewomen came in and gathered evidence while the rest of the team waited outside. When those who had gained entry called for backup the music died, the house lights came up and those who realised what was happening ran for the doors and windows in the bathrooms but were blocked in by the police.

    There were reportedly over 200 people in the Stonewall Inn that night. Little did the police know, that this as not going to go the way they expected.

    Usually, the police would line up the people, check ID and then the female officers would escort those wearing female clothing to the toilets, where they would be subject to physical checks and if men were found wearing female clothes they would be arrested. Not this night. This night everybody refused to produce their ID and those in women’s clothing resisted being taken to the bathrooms. This resulted in high tensions, only made worse by the police who became inappropriate while frisking some of the lesbian patrons.

    The police had been sent to seize all of the alcohol, which was apparently bootlegged. While this happened, the people inside were made to wait in the line. Those who hadn’t been arrested were allowed to leave but they congregated outside. It wasn’t long for the crowd to grow – a mix of those who had been released and those who had seen the disturbance and joined out of curiosity. Those who were released exited the bar to rounds of applause and they bowed and posed and it was all very theatrical.

    By the time the first police wagon arrived, the crowd had multiplied as much as ten times and as the Mafia were escorted out and put in the van people started shouting “Gay Power.” and others started singing. An officer pushed a drag queen who hit him with her purse. People threw debris at the wagon and that was when a woman, thought to be, Stormé DeLarverie, was dragged out in handcuffs. She kept escaping and fought four police officers. When she complained the handcuffs were too tight she was hit over the head with a baton and screamed: “Why don’t you guys do something?”

    It was this moment that triggered the riots that would go on to last six days!

    Who threw the first brick at the Stonewall Riots

    The patrons of the bar had taken enough and were sick of being pushed around. It was reported that the drag queens and trans women of colour were among the first to fight back. It was Marsha P. Johnson, a black, gender non-conforming, sex worker, a founding member of Gay Liberation Front and a popular member of the New York gay and art scenes, who was apparently one of the first to kick off her heels and fight the police. It is, however, unclear what role Johnson played in the events that night. She disputed that she was the one to start the riot by claiming she arrived at 2 am when the place was already on fire – a fire she claimed was started by the police.

    did Martha P Johnson throw a brick at Stonewall

    These riots were a major moment for LGBT people and Stonewall became an iconic image of rebellion and resistance. It stood for our strength and our refusal to back down.

    It was the next year, 1970, that the first Pride march was held in New York on the anniversary of the Stonewall riots. From that moment we have continued to celebrate Pride in the month of June to honour those who kickstarted a revolution. We march to represent our strength and unity. Our community is strong together and Pride shows just that! In modern days it still has political undertones but these days in the western world particularly, our events stand for inclusivity, visibility, having fun and celebrating love and equality rather than fighting for it.

    Why Do We Have a Rainbow Flag?

    The flag was devised by artist Gilbert Baker after he was challenged by Harvey Milk (another hero and martyr for the LGBT community), to create a “symbol of Pride” to represent the LGBT community. It debuted at the 1978 Gay Freedom Day Parade and has been an icon of our community from that day.

    what does the rainbow LGBT flag stand for
    The original rainbow flag as created by Gilbert Baker

    There were originally eight colours in the rainbow instead of six:

    Hot Pink represented sex/sexuality. It was taken out due to manufacturing issues after Baker approached a company to mass produce the flag. Apparently, the hot pink fabric was too expensive to make.

    Turquoise, representing magic and art, was lost when the Pride Parade Committee wanted to fly the flag in two halves along both sides of the street for the 1979 Gay Freedom Day parade. Turquoise was dropped to leave six stripes, therefore, leaving an equal number to split.

    Red is life.

    Orange is healing.

    Yellow is sunlight.

    Green is nature.

    Indigo is serenity

    Violet is spirit.

    A modern variation, created in 2017, added black and brown stripes to highlight the People of Colour within the LGBT community. There were a mixed reaction and a lot of controversies because of how the flag never represented “race” and was always meant to represent aspects of life that apply to everybody, regardless of ethnicity. It also caused upset by changing the artist’s original vision.

    The Stonewall uprising would go on to inspire the LGBT movement across the globe. In London, the first-ever march by the Gay Liberation Front happened in November 1970.

  • COMMENT | The Only Goal Football Needs is to Support its LGBT Players

    Newspaper The Sun has reported that a premier league footballer has ‘paid to keep his male lover quiet’.

    There is almost always talk of a footballer being gay. In 2018, we still don’t have a premier league footballer that is out and proud. Of course, there are some footballers that have announced their sexuality, but it comes after retirement when they’re no longer at the top of their game.

    And that’s a problem.

    According to The Sun, the premier league star who has not been named, offered to pay his fashion worker lover to keep quiet. The sum offered is rumoured to be £10,000. The Sun goes on to say that the footballer in question has a child with a female partner, and is bisexual. The male lover in question is said to be a 21-year-old fashion worker, who has also remained anonymous.

    Instead, the 21-year-old chose to speak anonymously to raise awareness of the continued homophobia and taboo surrounding male football players. He has said: ‘It isn’t the players that are the problem — although he is guarded with who knows. It is because of the backlash from the fans that he is terrified of it coming out.’

    The football player has reportedly told close friends, some of who are footballers themselves, and has been greeted with support, but he is terrified of the fans, of the heckle calls being shouted from the stadium.

    In 2018, should we not be more focused on the ability of a footballer’s talent to score goals, to win for their team, than their sexuality?

    Unfortunately, whilst that is what we should be focussing on, it seems fans have another agenda. In a 2013 dossier, Brighton fans reported hearing these chants: ‘You’re from a town full of gays and we hope you all die of AIDS.’

    It doesn’t make ‘juicy gossip’ to hear of a male footballer coming out as gay. I’ll admit, it is interesting, and it’s natural to want to know who that man is. But the pressure he must be under tells us that forcing him out is wrong. Instead, the attitude towards gay men on the pitch needs to change.

    It isn’t as though that isn’t happening. In 2013, the first LGBTQ fans group for a major football group – in this case, Arsenal – was set up. Since then, there are more than 30 LGBTQ groups offering support to both fans and in the closet football players.

    Meanwhile, Welsh Rugby player Gareth Thomas, who came out as gay after retiring from the sport, said that if a footballer were to come out today, they would be ‘walking into the unknown’.

    Whilst the FA are maintaining they are encouraging their players to ‘be themselves and support their teammates to do likewise’, we are still lacking any prominent out and proud football players that are still at the top of their game.

    The problem, of course, is not with the footballer player themselves. They are surrounded by men who are telling them to conform, to play the game and are idolised by men all across the world. In some countries where these footballers play, it is illegal to be gay, with some countries allowing a death penalty. Whilst not all of the football audience are homophobic, trolling chants about gay men can appear to be incredibly daunting. Surveys have shown that three-quarters of football fans don’t care if a player is gay or bisexual.

    What is also the problem is no one wants to be first. Peter Tatchell, a gay rights campaigner, said: ‘To allay the anxieties of individual players, the Professional Footballers Association should organise a simultaneous coming out by several stars. That way, no single player would have to deal with the media and public reaction. There would be safety in numbers.’

    With rumours in the past linking Ashley Cole to another player, a rumour he distanced himself from publicly and assuming the player in recent reports is someone entirely different, there would, of course, be enough players to come out together. The problem with this happening is internal struggles.

    We live in a society where an open, gay football player would be what we need. An influential man with a following of both straight and gay football players would really do wonders. LGBTQ groups would feel included, and awareness could be raised to the industry of football as a whole, and the problems that need to be dealt with and overcome.

    It’s easy to say that a footballer should lead the way in coming out, but it’s easy to forget the internal struggle of coming out.

  • COMMENT | “Pride is for all of us, of all ages and backgrounds to express ourselves honestly and authentically”

    COMMENT | “Pride is for all of us, of all ages and backgrounds to express ourselves honestly and authentically”

    Pride season is finally here! It’s time to dig out the rainbow flags, the glitter and sequins!

    In part one of this series on Pride, I’ll be exploring why Pride is so important to us as a community.

    In recent years we have made huge progress worldwide in terms of LGBT+ rights. We can get married properly, we are protected in our workplaces and in everyday life. We can adopt or get surrogates to have a baby for us. We are accepted as true, legitimate families and Wales has recently announced that it is going to start teaching about LGBT+ relationships in schools to help children understand about same-sex relationships. We live in a wonderful time and that needs to be celebrated.

    We also live in a time where we can be beaten up or murdered for so much as holding the hand of a loved one. We could die or be permanently physically injured or worse for daring to do something as innocent as love. Fair enough, it’s not as dangerous now as it was in the eighties when the AIDS crisis enhanced tensions and hostility towards the LGBT+ community but it’s still bad. It took a lot of work to get us to where we are now and there’s still more to do.

    In parts of the Middle East people can be thrown off buildings for simply being suspected of homosexuality. In Russia, gay people are persecuted on a daily basis in the most brutal, horrific ways. In Chechnya, gay people flee for their lives or face being slaughtered by their own families in a “gay purge.” In Uganda, you can be imprisoned for life for being gay, or again, killed. Even Dubai, a glamorous holiday destination, adored by the West is a dangerous place for LGBT+ people. This is just a handful of examples.

    There are still currently over 70 countries in the world where you can be imprisoned for being gay and our rights that we take for granted are not safe. Just a few months ago, Boris Johnson, our British Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs failed to stop the abolition of same-sex marriage in Bermuda less than a year after the law had passed.

    Worldwide, LGBT+ people aren’t safe yet they defy their countries laws and hold Pride marches. In the countries mentioned before, and so many more, there are often devastating scenes of cruel attacks. These Pride marches are nothing like ours. Ours are a celebration of what we have and how far we’ve come, theirs are the complete opposite. They are life-threatening political performances where often the events are cancelled last minute for the activists’ safety. On the instances the very brave few go ahead, tragedy often follows close behind.

    In 2015, Shira Banki was stabbed to death at a Pride march in Jerusalem by ultra-Orthodox Jewish man, Yishai Schlissel who had committed a similar crime ten years previously and served a decade-long prison sentence. He claimed he was “doing God’s work.” when he murdered Shira three-weeks after being released from prison. Shira was just sixteen years old.

    Sadly scenes like this are too common.

    This is why we need Pride.

    Pride is a symbol of the fight our community have endured and the pain they have suffered to get us to this point. It is an important part of our culture and as we enter Pride season it is vital that we should remember and respect those who afforded us the celebrations we know and love now.

    Throughout most of the Western world, Pride is an event where we can go and have fun with friends and family. We can enjoy music and entertainment and march through our respective cities with rainbow flags flying. We march hand in hand with our same-sex boyfriends and girlfriends and husbands and wives. We can freely identify ourselves as we wish and we do it with pride. We do it safely without fear of repercussion and stand in unity alongside people of all backgrounds, races and sexualities: Gay, bi, trans, straight. Pride is for all of us, of all ages and backgrounds to express ourselves honestly and authentically. Even our straight allies are proud to march with us in solidarity and that is a shining example of how far we’ve come. It wasn’t always the case.

    In history, it was a criminal offence to be homosexual. If we were caught out for these “crimes” we could be imprisoned or forced to undergo “Conversion Therapy.” War hero, Alan Turing, who created the Enigma machine that helped us win the war was arrested in 1952 for “gross indecency.” He accepted chemical castration as an alternative to going to prison. After all he did for us, and he was treated like a criminal just for being gay. He was essentially tortured with cancer-causing drugs and eventually died a few days before his 42nd birthday from cyanide poisoning. While initial inquests ruled suicide, it has since been decided that his death was from accidental poisoning.

    Homosexuality was eventually decriminalised in the UK in 1967 but it wouldn’t be until 2013 that Alan would be posthumously pardoned for his “crimes.”

    In 2017 a new law came into effect that pardoned all gay men of historic offences linked to homosexual activity pre-1967. This law has been informally nicknamed The Alan Turing Law in his honour.

    This is why we celebrate Pride. We celebrate because we can. We do it because of these horrendous laws in the past that prevented LGBT people from being allowed to express themselves. We celebrate our right to exist in a world where we’re making progress and raising awareness of the troubles still faced by other in less fortunate regions across the world.

  • COMMENT | Pride Organiser on Primark’s Pride range: I do worry about the impact

    A partnership between an international clothing brand and a national LGBT charity could have a negative impact on local pride organisations.

    Clothing retailer Primark recently announced that it would be selling a new Pride range in selected stores throughout the UK with 20 percent of profits on certain items being donated to LGBT charity Stonewall.

    However, the decision has been met with criticism, including from Newcastle Pride organisers – who last week announced that they had to scale down aspects of their event due to lack of funding.

    “It is great that a big company like Primark wants to lend their support to the LGBT community but I do worry about the impact this will have on the community led organisations like ourselves up and down the country,” said Stephen Willis, festival director of Newcastle Pride.

    “Stonewall do an amazing job but they are a national organisation with a large presence, whereas local Prides are more often than not organised by volunteers with a lack of sponsorship and funding.

    “Many Prides rely on generating income from selling merchandise but if Primark are selling their own range at discount prices, this will direct much needed funds away from actual Prides, which are struggling as it is.”

    As part of the partnership, Primark have announced an array of rainbow branded products – including t-shirts featuring the names of cities the range will be sold in.

    “Considering Primark is tailoring the range to the cities they are selling them in, their support may have been better allocated by partnering with local organisations so they could help to sustain future Prides,” said Stephen.

    “Although the community has come a long way, LGBT people are still suffering from homophobia and hate crime and that is why hosting Pride parades remains important – to reinforce the message of equality and offer people a space they feel safe and accepted.”

    This year’s Newcastle Pride takes place 20 – 22 July, under a big top tent at Nuns Moor Park, with a huge musical line-up, including headlining performances from Alexandra Burke and S Club.

    As well as the acts on the main stage, on site will be a range of market stalls, a fun fair, the family and youth zone, the Steve Paske health zone, eight food stalls and five bars.

    The event is free to attend, but those wanting to support Newcastle Pride can do so by making a donation, buying merchandise or upgrading to Golden Circle or VIP tickets at www.northern-pride.com.

    For more information, visit Northern Pride’s website or search northernprideuk on Facebook or Twitter.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Here’s Why Wales’ LGBT Sexual Education is Important

    Here’s Why Wales’ LGBT Sexual Education is Important

    Having lived and grown up in Wales my whole life, sexual education during secondary school was a massive let down, not only for me and my LGBT peers past and present, but also the straight community…

    CREDIT: © tomwang Depositphotos

    When teaching pubescent teenagers about sexual intercourse in secondary school PSHE classes, the teacher was always greeted with snickering laughs, comments from the lads and jokes cracked by some lame guy.

    As Wales prepares to give sex education in Wales school an LGBT inclusive over-haul, I was reminded of my own experience of sexual education.

    Wales have announced plans to have a major overhaul of their sexual education in schools, planning to change their current curriculum. By doing this, Wales will be ‘leading the way’ in sexual education, something that is extremely important.

    The changes would mean the subject would be renamed to ‘relationships and sexual education’, and were announced by Wales’ education secretary, Kirsty Williams. Williams has said that the days of traditional sex education were ‘long gone’.

    30 years ago, section 28 was introduced, which banned the ‘promotion of homosexuality in schools’. Now, 30 years later, Wales is moving forward to include an LGBT inclusive subject in sexual education. The teaching will focus on issues such as consent, domestic abuse and diversity.

    The new education curriculum will come into force in 2022, and will be taught to children from five to sixteen years of age. The subject will now be embedded in the curriculum, instead of being taught as a separate subject.

    Bru-nO / Pixabay Is learning how to put a condom on a banana all that helpful?

    Kirsty Williams said, ‘The world has moved on and our curriculum must move with it. Sex should never be taught in isolation for the simple reason that it is about so much more than just sex; it’s also about relationships, rights and respect and that must go hand in hand with a much broader understanding of sexuality. Anything less does a disservice to our learners and teachers.’

    Stonewall Cymru, and LGBT charity were pleased with the announcement. Their director, Andrew White, has been campaigning for this change for a while. White said: ‘It’s great news, particularly as this week is the anniversary of the introduction of section 28 and our research shows that a majority of LGBT young people here in Wales have heard nothing about LGBT issues in the classroom.

    ‘The legacy of section 28 unfortunately still lives on and this change will go some way to readdressing the balance.’

    He then went on to say that these discussions should be in the classroom, as talking about it online could spread false information. ‘If we don’t, those conversations will happen on the web with sometimes unreliable sources.’

    As a Welsh gay male, it’s important to see this change happen. It’s even better to see that my country, who have sometimes been a bit behind on LGBT rights, particularly in places such as the valleys, are the leading country to be putting this forward.

    When I was in education, my sexual education consisted mainly of STD’s and how to avoid them, and I was always taught about wearing a condom before having intercourse with a woman. We were taught how to put a condom on a banana, and we also saw how condoms are packaged. We learned briefly about the female reproductive system, and how the egg is fertilised, but one thing we never touched on was LGBT sexual relationships.

    As I discovered my sexuality, online porn websites were my education. Whilst I didn’t take scenes literally, understanding that whomever you have sex with must consent, it has been noted that people who watch porn may get lines blurred between what is acceptable in a real-life sexual relationship. Having consent taught in education systems is extremely important, for both heterosexual and homosexual people. Personally, I think what also needs to be taught is that sexuality is now being seen as fluid, as well as being young and confused. I didn’t truly accept who I was until I was 18/19.

    Sexual education must also discuss alcohol and sex. Many encounters are under the influence of alcohol, and some are above board and others are sadly not. This must be covered, as ignoring the problem doesn’t achieve anything.

    When I was young and watching pornography, I discovered how men have sex. I was able to tell how a condom went on by watching a porn star put one on. Whilst my body image confidence went down, I still took something away from porn other than a fun time. I learned how sex happens, and how it can work, albeit if it was edited together and the stars had no chemistry.

    But learning from porn, whilst useful to me personally, is not how we should be learning as LGBT people. Even now, the transmission and treatment of HIV is rather hazy to me, and as a teenager finding sexual partners, I worried myself sick about contracting what I thought at the time to be a deadly disease. Being taught in school that HIV, whilst being deadly without treatment, is now easily treatable with correct medication, and also being taught easily preventable with the right methods, would have saved me a lot of time growing up. It would also be nice to see HIV being discussed openly as a disease that affects everyone, regardless of their sexuality. I still feel like many people see it as ‘a gay man’s disease’.

    So whilst my sexual education taught me that pizza men would result in a sexual experience, I’m happy to see that Wales will now teach a new generation that sex doesn’t work like that.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Why I Care for The Royal Wedding

    Why I Care for The Royal Wedding

    On Saturday, our Prince Harry becomes a married man, to actress Meghan Markle. Columnist Jack Strange writes why he’s raising a glass to the new married couple..

    Tumisu / Pixabay

    If you didn’t know about this, then that’s understandable, seeing as it hasn’t been mentioned anywhere.

    Oh wait, it’s been just about everything. The past week, in the build-up to the wedding, we’ve seen interviews with camera crews setting up outside Windsor, and we’ve also watched a real-life soap unfold regarding Meghan’s dad, who sadly won’t be at the wedding because of a heart problem.

    Today, it was announced that Prince Charles will walk Meghan down the aisle.

    It’s all very excessive to be talking about when you consider it’s only two people getting married, but of course, these aren’t your typical people.

    They’re our monarchy; a royal family that have been in the public eye their whole lives. We’ve followed Harry since he was born, seeing him lose his mother tragically at such a young age, and seeing those pictures that leaked from Vegas.

    Harry is undoubtedly our most down to earth royal. He’s a younger generation that has fought in the army, fighting for our country, and working endlessly to meet different people in different countries to enrich things such as the Commonwealth.

    Meghan Markle, on the other hand, is a young woman that has lived her life in the limelight and happened to meet Harry because of a blind date. Undoubtedly, Meghan is feeling the pressures of this new limelight that has been put upon her. She can no longer act, and she even had to delete social media. Now, Meghan has to fit the role of a royal. Regal, helpful, a Good Samaritan.

    But what we have with Meghan and Harry is something unusual. We have an American marrying into a family that have been traditionally British, albeit with German ancestors. It’s unusual, too, for Meghan to have had a public career before this. During the 2016 election, Meghan spoke out against Trump, an opinion that she will probably have to put aside now that she is such a public figure. What could have once been seen as problematic to the diplomacy of royalty has now been modernised.

    Let us also not forget that The Royal Family bring the British economy a good source of income. Abolishing them, or dismissing them would be foolish. This wedding between Harry and Meghan alone will boost our economy by £1billion.

    That £1billion comes from things such as tourism, PR, money spent in restaurants and on merchandise.

    The whole world is watching the United Kingdom right now, and broadcast around the globe.

    We should also see this as a testimony to our history. We are alive to witness history. Sure, it ‘may just be a wedding’, but it’s a wedding between two people that have the influence to change how we live, and how the world functions.

    As humanitarians, both Harry and Meghan have a responsibility to uphold. Not only are we seeing two people in love tie the knot, but we’re celebrating something good.

    We have bigger problems to face, sure, but for one day we should focus on the good. We should enjoy an enrichment of culture.

    I, for one, wish the new couple a happy wedding day!