Have you ever noticed that so many many musicals open with a song about the town in which they are set!
CREDIT: Pamela Raith
Think Witches Of Eastwick, Hairspray and Little Shop Of Horrors, hell even Aladdin, lets you know you’re in Saudi Arabia.
Comedian Matt Buechele has created a video to demonstrate what he thinks the first song in every musical sounds like and it’s uncanny we tell you – uncanny.
In the song, called “The Name Of The City We Live IN” which starts slow and then becomes much more upbeat after the first verse, introduces various characters, including two secondary characters, one who tells you what they do for living, the other you can tell is a mum,” because the three kids I’m holding” a “comedic relief” character who has a stupid voice and then the lead character who arrives in town because of a bet or a dare gone wrong. And then, there is, of course, the key change.
However it’s the last line of the song, which sets up the entire musical – Check it out below.
Well, thanks to BBC Scotland you can now get a glimpse of what your seasonal favourites would be like if they were Scottish.
BBC Scotland just uploading a hilarious post on Twitter where they revoiced famous scenes from some of the world’s most enduring and favourite Christmas movies.
Films like Home Alone, White Christmas and Nightmare Before Christmas were all redubbed with Scottish voices, using some very interesting Scottish words instead of the original scripts.
In the reinvision version of Home Alone, Kevin is repeatedly called a “Dobber” which is a term for a dick according to Urban Dictionary. In the classic White Christmas the Bing Crosby and Vera-Ellen are redubbed to sing “I’m dreading it’s a shi*te Christmas”, instead of the original, “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas”.
While Jack the Pumpkin King from Nightmare Before Christmas sang “I’m Pished, I’m Pished ah farted and it stunk” instead of “What’s this, what’s this!”
Moments later the boyfriend appears with his monster!
And we’re not talking about the rock on her finger.
Imagine if you will, your beloved has just proposed to you and planted a huge ring and rock on your finger. Naturally, you want to send a photo of that bling to your friends / the world. But here’s where some caution is needed – especially if you haven’t swapped your photo setting from “live photo” to just normal “photo”.
Live Photo is a feature on the iPhoto which captures a few moments before and after you click the shutter – meaning you get a small video clip instead of a single photo. Brilliant if you want to capture more than just a second in history – not so great if your boyfriend is likely to whip out his D, while you show off to the world your new jewel.
Which is exactly what happened to this woman, who sent a Live Photo to her friends – while her hung future husband, whipped it out. Such a romantic.
The B*tchiest Agony Aunt is back… and ready to help with your Christmasy issues.
*She doesn’t really care
Dear Aunty,
Since writing to you last Christmas for advice, about meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time, I find myself in an even more desperate situation and in need of your help again.
Last December 25th I was sat around my boyfriend’s parents’ table about to start our turkey dinner when, what I thought was my bf’s hand stroking my inner thigh, turned out to be his dad’s hand.
Last December 25th I was sat around my boyfriend’s parents’ table about to start our turkey dinner when, what I thought was my bf’s hand stroking my inner thigh, turned out to be his dad’s hand. I was startled and didn’t know what to do, so I picked up my phone pretending I had a call and made an excuse to leave straight away. I didn’t say anything to my boyfriend as I didn’t want to upset him. This year we’ve been invited back again… Should I tell my boyfriend about what happened last year, or should I make excuses and avoid going?
Thanks, Gary – Hull
Dearest Gary,
I’m sorry to hear you have a “problem”. Now, I say “problem” like this as I’m actually struggling to find what the “problem” is with having someone show you some unexpected attention. I’ve always found it a compliment. When I was a young glamorous star, at an Old Victorian Theatre, I always found XXXXXX XXXXX would often make me feel XXXXXX XXXXXX whilst sucking on a XXXX and his lemon sherbets.
Of course, I was glad, as it was a great opportunity to meet the others who’d come over from Hollywood that night. There was XXXXXXX, XXXX, XXXXXXX, oh and XXXXX. What a night that was. There was XXXXXX everywhere!
So, what am I trying to say? As a young chap, you should be grabbing all experiences in life. Sit, eat be merry and let the games commence. After all, no-one plays Scrabble anymore. It’s all Happy Families and you never know, your boyfriend may well be a seasoned game player and just trying to bring you into the festivities. Cheers, you lucky thing.
XXXX = (Edited for legal reasons)
Aunts
Aunty is an unlicensed, unqualified, drunken lush, who wants to hear from you, and you shouldn’t take any of her advice… Ever.
The B*tchiest Agony Aunt is back… and ready to help with your wedding problems.
*She doesn’t really care
Dear Aunty,
I’m planning a wedding, but fear that it may end up in a terrible mess. My family is known for having a few too many drinks and then getting rowdy and very touchy-feely, whereas my partner’s family is a little more reserved. They are highly religious folks.
What should I do?
Corben, Trent
Dear Corben,
Sounds awfully exciting. I’d invite the eternally judgemental & pious Jeremy Kyle and accompanying TV crew and sell the rights to the ITV morning team for the ensuing drama that is bound to unfurl at your nuptials.
Darling if you need an MC I’m available and contrary to popular belief I’m not particularly expensive. I can even do you a deal if there’s a good bottle of Pinot G with my name on it.
Can I suggest that you ensure that you put the guests most likely to heckle towards the front? There is nothing better than watching the best man die slowly inside as he loses the crowd. Those self-important
Can I also suggest you put guests who are most likely to wear Nylon towards the fire exits? I once had an ‘incident’ with a Nylon wearer, when I was flicking fag ash mid convo.
The good news is she’s still alive and much of her body was saved from 3rd-degree burns thanks to the quick thinking stewards who threw a bucket of sand over her.
As for religious folks, try not to have butt sex in front of them. It tends to upset their blessed little hearts. Instead, try crucifixes on the front lawn. Showing an understanding of their culture will surely put you in their good books.
Until next time,
Aunts
Aunty is an unlicensed, unqualified, drunken lush, who wants to hear from you, and you shouldn’t take any of her advice… Ever.
A smart suit, if you have a £3000 one with power even better
A power tie, which must be red and you must have matching braces
An 80’s mobile phone
A rain mac, which must be see through
An axe – brand new, with shiny, shiny head
James Dean
Much was made, in the years after his death of his sexuality. His early death meant that Dean would become a legend. This is a really simple look to pull off.
All you need is:
White T-shirt
Classic cut jeans
Boots
All-American Harrington jacket
Jesse Walsh
Nightmare On Elm Street 2 was loaded with homoerotic undertones… why not relive the early 80s with a Jessie costume. Make sure you spend most of the evening shouting something about Freddy being inside of you…
All you need is:
Yellow patterned shirt
Vintage cut blue jeans
Baseball cap
Golden glasses
A radio blasting out 80’s hits
Ariana Grande
GUYSWITHIPHONES
Some consider her a gay icon and her recent look of bunny ears is a totally hot look for guys.
All you need is:
Bunny ears and black face mask
Washboard stomach
White stiletto shoes
Tall stool to balance on
An Instagram Shot
Getting the perfect selfie is a nightmare…
All you need:
Supersize cardboard cut out of an Instagram screen – you can actually buy them on Amazon.
Cornfed Cowboy
We’re not sure this is particularly scary, but this guy is mighty hot, so we’ve included!
A post shared by Sean and Jeremy (@papasinprogress) on
What Ever Happened To Baby Jane is probably one of the campiest movies of all time – and a sure-fire way to win any “best Halloween costume” competition.
So much happened… but at the same time so little did!
We thought we’d take a look at what HASN’T happened since marriage between two people of the same gender got the right to be treated like everyone else. Despite the warnings from right wing, religious fundamentalists these are the things that have failed to happen.
1) The sanctity of straight marriage will crumble, wilt and die.
Except of course for divorce, which has always been a bit of blight on the ‘death-do-us-part’ bit of marriage
2) The floods…
Won’t somebody think of the floods and the pestilence, the fire and brimstone? Some UKIPPER, whose name I can’t remember, not really care to remember said that gay marriage would bring about lots and lots of rain, of a Noah and Ark amount. Okay, there has been a little more precipitation than usual scientists are putting that down to global warming rather than gay marriage, because you know, that’s actually what’s happening…
3) Children are still being born in and out of wedlock.
The world realised that you don’t need a man and a woman to marry in order to have kids. Children are still being born, they are still being educated, fed and loved by their parents. Bob and Fred getting hitched at the end of the road had no impact on parents being able to have children – and actually, people understand that you don’t need to be married to make children – there isn’t a switch that is suddenly turned on when you say “I Do”.
4) Pastor Rich Scarbrough didn’t combust or set himself on fire.
5) Parents will have no say in the sex ed that their kids are taught in school…
Well they do… and if you don’t want little Joanie to find out that actually what she’s feeling is totally normal, rather than her hiding away, feeling shame and alone – then perhaps you need to look at your parenting credentials.
6) Equal rights for gays, bis and lesbians
Even though we have marriage equality, we’re still not actually legally equal. Non-consummation doesn’t count (meaning basically that the law doesn’t recognise gay sex as equal to straight sex) for grounds for divorce…
7) Bakers will be forced to make gay cakes.
In the UK you can’t discriminate against people because of their sexuality or gender identity – but you can just refuse an order and not give a reason… So if you’re still a total f*ckwit bigot you still have your rights, you just have to be quiet about them, but actually when you do, it lets us all know to avoid you like the plague.
8) Churches will be forced to have gay marriages.
Nope. We’re still not allowed to get married in your sacred places. But we can come and be a guest and totally upstage your day with how fabulous we are. Especially if we start on the white wine before the first note of “Here Comes The Bride” starts.
9) Man will be able to marry his pets
Nope still not legal. And dear god Mary, why are you even thinking about animals marrying?
10) Straight marriage will carry less kudos.
People were concerned that gay marriage would cheapen the brand. Not like Britney’s 55-hour marriage.
11) The world’s end
Those fascinating people (read in a sarcastic tone) at the Westboro Baptist Church said that we’d all die and go to hell, but as I sit here – in Cashmere and I look out of the window, we’re still very much here.
Man loving, alcohol swigging, chain smoking, power dressing magazine icon. Patsy Stone we love you.
On Smoking
“Smoking is good for you…”
On Her Drinking
“The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford Clinic.”
On Sex
“My ring needs resealing, I know the gutters sagging a bit but how about a quick plunge up the waste pipe?”
On Work Ethics
“It’s 7– 7:30? In the…? Why, that means nothing to me!”
On Driving
“Keep driving, Eddy. You haven’t hit anything yet.”
On Fashion
“Are you mad? I’ve got nothing to wear on public transport?”
On Safi
“You may dress like a Christian, but the similarity ends there. I think you do it on purpose. How long does it take you to get the crease so crisp down the front of your jeans, you torturer?”
More on Safi
“Oh you little BITCH TROLL FROM HELL.”
On People
“She’s emaciated, like her brain!”
As A Fashion Editor
“The only label she wears is “Drip Dry”.
On Brand
“One wiff of a cocoa bean and our customers would fly like vampires before garlic. Jeremy’s must remain a sterile oasis, free from street eaters and coffee carriers. Aseptic and razor-sharp as our customer’s hipbones. These women shop for lunch! Labels are their only sustenance! Their skeleton legs in Manolos have worn trenches down the pavement of Sloan Street. Their arm sinews have just enough muscles left in their arm to lift up a credit card.”<
On Motherhood
“Nothing, and you shouldn’t have to. I mean, look at you. You’ve been a fantastic mother. You’ve let them ruin your figure. Your stomach’s stretched beyond recognition, you’ve got tits down to your knees, and what for, for God’s sake? For a potholer who’s worn nothing but a purple nylon tracksuit and a Gazza t-shirt for the past two years. Cut the cord, darling.”
You just can’t trust live broadcasts! A recent segment on an Australian radio show made people blush after one of the contestants got a boner during a hug…
The contestant got an erection after he hugged model Sheera on The Kyle And Jackie O Show on KIIS FM.
As Big Brother ends and a new Celebrity bunch start their journey in the famous house, we take a look back at those gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans contestants to see where they all are now.
We all remember the ex-Nun lesbian from series one. She went on to become a TV presenter, including The Great Irish Bake Off, and is now Head of Development for COCO Television as well as an opinion columnist for The Herald.
After winning the second series Brian Dowling returned to be crowned the Ultimate Big Brother contestant in 2010. Since, he has been the face of various UK shows- most recently holding the mic on Big Brother himself. Now presenter of Sitting On A Fortune in Ireland.
Joshua Rafter – Series 2
Since his five minutes of fame on Big Brother 2 he has been found in next to nothing for various modelling shoots, does his bit for a number of LGBT charities and worked with the NHS on a campaign promoting safe sex. Now he is the managing director of a property company.
Adele has continued with the DJ work she was doing when entering the house in series 3. She DJs at festivals, nightclubs and celebrity parties and has just been announced the new host of BBC Radio 1’s early morning show.
She cashed in on her success from winning series 5 with various reality shows such as Come Dine With Me and even had a single out A Little Bit Of Action which amazingly reached number 27 in the UK charts. Her popularity altered after appearing in 2010’s Ultimate Big Brother where she came across as a bully. She has stated that the show made her consider suicide.
Dived back out of the spotlight (which is probably why I personally couldn’t remember him!) to continue his career as a hair stylist.
Kathryn Pinder (Kitten) – Series 5
Famous for portraying the ‘rule breaker’ by getting kicked out of series 5 within the opening week. After leaving the house this persona continued when she attended court for parking fines. She is now living in Australia and active in her local politics. So far she hasn’t been kicked out of Perth too, so that’s something.
Famous in the house for being an annoying whimpering character he hasn’t done much in the spotlight since leaving. He had a part in Little By Little a Broadway production back in 2004 and has been part of Big Brother Panto.
Known as the ‘bunny boiler’ of series 6 towards the winner Anthony Hutton, he allegedly made a, shall we shall personal, web cam show – maybe he was still thinking of Anthony…
After leaving series 6 he famously had a 6 month relationship with fellow housemate Kinga Karolczak before having gender reassignment surgery to emerge as Zulekya. With her new female confidence she has released a single Through With Love.
After having a great friendship in the house with Lea Walker, he has worked with her closely after leaving the show – including The Dick & Dolly Show a segment they developed through his own radio spot on Gaydar Radio. He is now a freelance writer for various gay interest magazines.
Not much can be said for Shahbaz – he has left the spotlight with a shah-bang. He allegedly suffered nightmares after his appearance on series 7 and tried to sue the shows creators at Endemol.
Tracey Anne Barnard – Series 8
The “Ave It,” contestant of series 8 has stepped out of the spotlight since her time on the show. She didn’t want to enter the celebrity circuit.
Seán O’Kane – Series 8
After having a child with a lesbian couple he has appeared on various parenting and discussion TV shows to talk about his role as a father. He was awarded the Outstanding Passionate Heart award at the People’s Heart Awards 2013.
Charlie Drummond – Series 10
Famous for being part of BB’s first gay couple with fellow housemate Rodrigo Lopes he has recently been sentenced to 21 months in prison after attacking a man. Perhaps his time within the solitary Big Brother walls will help him out.
Lisa Wallace – Series 10
She did a Britney in the house and shaved her head, and has since resided back to her life without a trace. Not even a hair on her head has been seen.
Rodrigo Lopes now Rebekah Shelton – Series 10
After finding the strength to be herself as Rebekah it all went downhill for her. She allegedly couldn’t find any work as her new self. In 2014 she slipped into a coma after being diagnosed with a brain tumour. She is out of hospital now and on the mend.
Mario Mugan – Series 11
He was naked in the house, a lot. Since he has managed to keep his clothes on but that’s about all he’s managed to do. He created a show called Almost: Six Lives, Six Stories and Six Destinies but it never made its debut on screen.
Thomas O’Connell – Series 12
Since leaving series 12 he has gone back to his work in PR.
Luke Anderson – Series 13
He returned to work in the restaurant he used to work in. In 2012 he told Closer magazine that he was expecting a baby with his wife.
Scott Mason – Series 13
He had a troubling time in series 13 after leaving briefly due to the death of his sister. Since he has kept to himself mainly with the odd appearance in Gay Times Magazine and New Magazine.
Dan Neal – Series 14
Dan Neal met his husband to be Rylan Clark during his time on Big Brother in 2013. They got married in 2015
Christopher Hall – Series 15
Mark and Christopher.
Emerging from BB 2014 as one of the most likeable housemates he has kept to himself so far apart from the odd interview in Attitude. It is early days though so I’m sure we’ll see more of him in the future.
Mark Byron – Series 15
Since being a contestant on last year’s run he has won the award of Most Stylish Scouser from Juice FM Style Awards.
Chris R Wright – Series 15
Actor Chris, opens up about the idea of sexuality in conversations with fellow housemates. He said, ‘I don’t like the term straight, we‘re all kind of melding now.’ He observes that people between 18-25 aren’t as bothered by sexual labels.
Simon Gross – Series 16
Channel 5
Simon Gross looks to be a controversial character in this year’s Big Brother. A few people have taken to Twitter with the hashtag #AbusedBySimonGross to discuss their upset at him appearing in the new series.
He also wants to be the first male Margaret Thatcher.
Adjoa didn’t last long in the house but her cool and calm personality won her a legion of fans – she quietly but confidently came out as gay showing that you don’t always need to explode out of the closet, although the news did shock some of the housemates.
Aaron Frew – Series 16
Aaron Frew
Aaron Frew twerked himself into stardom – especially amongst the gay community. He wasn’t afraid to talk sex and twerk, or twerk and talk about sex. It was a good combo. He now works as a model and getting naked on social media.
Andy West – Series 17
In 2015, Andy gained public attention when he made a YouTube video and tweeted about being “ashamed to work for the BBC” for nominating “homophobic and misogynistic” Tyson Fury for Sports Personality of the Year award.
Hughie Maughan – Series 17
Irishman Hughies bisexual and recently came out to some of his immediate family
Ryan Ruckledge – Series 17
Ryan admits that he loves to get tanning injections. He has them three times a week and uses sunbeds six times a week
Sam Giffen – Series 17
Sam states that he had always been single until January 2015, when he met his first boyfriend. They split after a year due to the long-distance involved.
Raphael “Raph” Korine – Series 18
The 22-year-old is a student at the University of Exeter. He is half American and half Japanese.
Well someone had to sit down and do it… Putting porn to one side, here’s six of the most memorable gay same sex scenes in film.
6. Threesome
Intellectual Eddie (Josh Charles) is in the closet. Heading to college, he finds himself sharing a dorm with Stuart (Stephen Baldwin), a jock and serial womaniser. But due to an administrative error, their other roommate is Alex (Lara Flynn Boyle), a feisty young woman who is down as a male on the college records. But the complications start as they grow closer. Stuart loves Alex and wants sex with her. Alex loves Eddie and wants sex with him. And Eddie loves Stuart, hiding his desires to have sex with him and secretly checking him out at every opportunity. The three of them become firm friends and, of course, sex gets in the way. Until that is, they think that they have found the perfect solution…. But will the three of them end up in a ménage a Trois and will Eddie ever get his desires towards Stuart fulfilled? A mostly shirtless, muscular Baldwin brother plays the all-American depraved teen with lustful desires towards his female roommate, but who gets more of an education at college than he probably imagined when he filled out his application.
Zack is an aspiring artist trapped in a life of supporting his dysfunctional family and caring for his nephew, until his best friend’s gay brother, Shaun (Brad Rowe), comes back from L.A. As the two hang out and surf together their feelings for each other develop among the waves, surfboards and wetsuits. Not only do they hide their relationship for Zack’s benefit, who is struggling with his new found feelings, Shaun encourages Zack to take control of his life and follow his ambitions. But not before the two of them have engaged in plenty of bedroom activities. If a hunky surfer, a semi-twink and lots of manly dudes in wetsuits is your thing, then this film may be for you. The beautiful boys find time to kiss, cuddle and caress each other in the California sun, the highlight of this film is an early morning romp whereby the boys nearly get caught by their brother and best friend.
In this steamy thriller, two girls accuse a high school counsellor of raping them in a convoluted extortion plot. But as they key players in the plan find themselves increasingly mistrusting of the others, Suzie Marie Toller (played by Neve Cambell) attacks Kelly Lanier Van Ryan (Denise Richards) in a swimming pool, but the attack turns to lust as the two girls kiss passionately and undress each other, whilst all the time being observed and filmed by a police officer hiding in the undergrowth. The swimming pool scene is one example of how this film strides out where other erotic thrillers (Basic Instinct, Showgirls) feared to tread by showing erotic lesbian sex scenes with partially nude Hollywood starlets. After watching this, it becomes clear why they stayed in the pool to cool off.
Teenage life on a London council estate is difficult for Jamie, who has a crush on his handsome classmate and neighbour, Ste (played by the very beautiful Scott Neal). Ste has his own problems with his dysfunctional family and alcoholic father. Love slowly blossoms between the two boys as they deal with an interfering neighbour, visit their first gay bar and grow into their sexuality. The catalyst for all of this is when Ste is beaten by his father and spends the night at Jamie’s. Sleeping “top to toe”, Jamie starts by massaging Ste’s bruised body, but this turns into much more as the two boys end up kissing and subsequently sleeping together. But what makes this scene so special is that it is a beautifully tender moment which takes you back to your first love and maybe even reminds you of those fledgeling fumbles you once had.
In this film noir fuelled movie, Violet (Jennifer Tilley) wishes to escape her violent criminal boyfriend and so engages in a clandestine affair with a sexually charged ex-con, Corky (Gina Gershon) and the two of them plan to rip off $2 million of mob money. Double crossing, violent criminals and underhand tactics cannot detract from the explicit sexual aspects of this film. The two women are beautiful and their first encounter is a breathy, whispered and intimate one. Who ever thought that showing someone your tattoo would lead to such an erotic encounter? But their second encounter is why this film makes the list. As the camera pans around the two women, their graphic intimacy is clearly shown and the passion of the two women for each other really shows. More visually detailed than your usual mainstream Hollywood film, this was a groundbreaking film at the time and settles in a high position in this list.
Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist Jake Gyllenhaal) are two Cowboys who find themselves with only each other for company whilst working high up on the slopes of Brokeback Mountain. With nothing but a supply of whisky and each other, they find a way to pass the time, leading to some fairly rough initial intimacy and huge feelings of guilt. But as the years go by, they share something more special than either of them ever anticipated and what starts off as a drunken fumble becomes a deep love for each other, although Ennis struggles more with it than Jack, who wants them to be together. Who could resist Heath ledger and Jake Gyllenhall dressed as cowboys and engaging in some manly fun? Their first encounter in the tent, involving some spit and a few minutes of grunting is perhaps the best-known sex scene in the film, despite a number of other more romantic encounters as the years go by. But the film makes the list not for this scene or for the tantalising prospect of the two leads in various states of undress, but for the most romantic scene whereby, on a fishing trip, Ennis approaches Jack and simply folds his arms around him in an emotional embrace. Who says that romance is dead?
